Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, turning a person from the snares of death. Proverbs 14:26-27
I was talking with a young woman recently who was raised in the Christian faith and at 18 went off to Bible college for a few semesters. At 19, she dropped out, got married, and was soon pregnant. At 21, her husband abandoned their family. Soon after, she abandoned Jesus.
You see when calamity hit, her faith was revealed to be built on the sand Jesus warns us about in Matthew 7:24-27. Her house fell after the windy, stormy beating. How could that be? She was surrounded by the faithful for all her life up until then. Isn’t that enough?
Let’s look at our faith this way. If I hung around a bunch of people who loved baking and I enjoyed eating what they made, it wouldn’t make me a baker. It’d make me fat, however! I would have knowledge of baking, the process, the ingredients, the do’s and don’ts. Without the love of baking and actually getting my hands covered in flour I’d just be an observer.
It’s not the doing that makes us Christians it’s the surrendered belief that Jesus loves us so much He died for our sins, was buried, and rose again in the witnessed resurrection. He becomes our secure fortress, our daily provision, and fountain of life. He holds us tight through every tragedy and every windfall in our life. We soon find Him at work everywhere. He keeps showing up.
When Toby Mac wrote this song it was after the death of his adult son from an overdose. Of course, it was tragic. Of course, he was full of tears and heartache. But he had built his house on solid ground. He sought refuge in the Lord. The wind blew and the storm enveloped him. Eventually, the sun came out and he was able to walk out his door into the warm sunlight of God’s love.
As for that young woman? She is now happily married and I’m so glad to say she wants to know about Jesus and this Bread of Life. She wants to learn how to build her life so she too can withstand what this world throws at us. My prayer is that she will begin to see Jesus at work everywhere.
My pastor recently asked us if we are committing our lives to God or surrendering them. What’s the difference you might ask? “Committing” implies a bargain or an agreement from which we could divorce ourselves. Whereas, “surrender,” waving the white flag, admits we can’t do this thing called “life” on our own anymore. Our resources are depleted. We come in rags, desperate for a Savior. We succumb to the truth we can’t heal ourselves. Heck we can’t even keep from sinning each and every day.
So, we find our bodies fully prostrate to Jesus. Our Lord and King who provides us with the salve for our wounds. He gives us white, clean robes. He holds us up steady and strong in front of God. And God, in turn, showers us with love and blessings and meaning for all eternity.
Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose… only (upon) the Beloved who will never pass away.”
C.S. Lewis
If we think we can heal our pain and suffering with a better job, spouse or car, a bigger bank account, or even seeing those that hurt us suffer the loss of all those things we fool ourselves. Because here’s the thing. God is also the source of our ability to enjoy all the things we have. Yes, as Solomon discovered, the LORD is the source for even enjoyment. We can try to muster up happiness in our circumstance but without God it’s a wooden stage prop. Look truthfully at the rich celebrities you see on tv, the news or social media. They put off an air of glamour and grandeur and happiness. Then you read of yet another acrimonious divorce, another entry into drug, alcohol or sex rehab. Or even angry rants about how the “little people” just won’t do what they tell them to do. A writer in The Wall Street Journal called money, “an article which may be used as a universal passport to everywhere except heaven, and as a universal provider of everything except happiness.”
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 7:21-23
The LORD Adonai wants your complete and total surrender. Not a contractual agreement. He wants to strip you bare and give you all that you really need. He is the creator of the source. And He will send you the need – whether through yearning or trials.
As for my friend, who knows what God has next in store for her. She may or may not become a regular Sunday School teacher because that wasn’t the whole point. He wanted to heal her through her willing obedience. Imitating Jesus, allowing Him to set our direction, opens the world of possibilities. It may be passing along the Word to 10 little children or He could give her even more responsibility now that she has taken her obedient steps. The unknown path in the hands of God is more rewarding than any palace or banquet or man-made delight.
It’s time to enjoy the surrender. To wave the white flag. To enjoy the righteousness that God wants to bestow upon you.
It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. “
A friend of mine recently surrendered a bitter, past hurt over to the Lord. She started with obedience, albeit reluctantly she admits. The pain caused by her last church has been difficult to overcome. She told me she’s been praying one of the best prayers you could ever pray: “Help me imitate Jesus.” As part of a study about revival we’ve been doing she’s also spent a lot more time just listening for God’s Word. Not asking, pleading, telling, or even praising. Just listening. And He has spoken.
You see my friend used to love teaching children the Word of God. At her old church she was deeply involved in children’s ministry. After a tumultuous pastor change and the subsequent wrangling for top dog positions within the church, a few staff members were laid off without warning. She was one of them. She had given her whole heart over to the ministry and felt betrayed. It caused her to pronounce she would never work in children’s ministry again, ever.
And then in January we opened Pastor Robby Gallaty’s study on revival titled, Revive Us. He encouraged us to spend time with God starting with just five minutes of quiet time. We soon worked our way up to 15, then 20 and finally 30 minutes. Over the course of the next two months, we shared what God showed us. A word here and there, a vision of being loved, a message of strength, a picture of His majesty.
For my friend? After praying yet again on how to imitate Jesus, she found herself in her quiet time with a vision of a beach scene. A man teaching little children at the edge of the sea. Love abounded from child to teacher and teacher to child. The teacher turned and looked at her and smiled. It was Jesus. She was overcome with tears; real tears streaming down her face in realization that to imitate Jesus would be to do the one thing she had refused. To do the one thing she knew God had gifted her. To teach the children.
So, although she had obeyed the week prior and told her new church she would dip a toe in to Sunday school the next week by “observing” she said it with trepidation. That vision, given to her the day before she was to serve, filled her with love and joy. When she walked into the children’s ministry department the administrator was so happy to see her – they were short leaders in Kindergarten. “Would she take on the class?” she was asked. Without any hesitation my friend agreed. You should have heard the joy in her voice when she told us how she was immediately loved by the children, how she danced and sang, how she was filled with the Holy Spirit. How she was healed!
"I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. " Ecclesiastes 2:10-11
Juxtapose my friend’s experience at Sunday School with King Solomon in chapter 2. The richest man in the world at the time. He had everything at his fingertips. He built palace after palace. He made large parks and orchards. He had plenty of female slaves to do his every (and I mean every) bidding. He had singers, dancers, gold, silver, food, drink – all the delights of a man’s heart (Ecc 2:8). And he was miserable. He was seeking meaning and purpose. He tried buying it and building it and owning it.
The abundant life is to be found in “treasuring up for God” rather than for self.”
Kenneth Bailey, Jesus through Middle Eastern Eyes
What did my friend have? A humble servant heart, slightly broken and needing mending. She didn’t seek to enrich her life. She asked to serve the One True God, Jesus Christ. So, He gave her 10 little, beautiful faces that Sunday. Little children who were eager to be her new friend and to mend her heart.
I read once that we should look at ourselves as channels not reservoirs of joy. Meaning we don’t store up all the blessing for ourselves but rather send them on to others. Pastor Gallaty reminded us of this truth. Through intercessory prayer and acts of service we become those channels.
If revival coming to your family or community depended on your prayers, would it come?”
Pastor Robby Gallaty
When our prayer life and subsequent actions serve only to enrich ourselves, we find our situation mirroring Solomon’s. Striving and chasing wealth, status, knowledge and even wisdom – with God as a supplemental figure or not thought of at all, really. When our seeking pleasure or even “peace” is above all else we miss the beautiful work of God He wants to do in our life.
"A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. " Ecclesiastes 2:24-26
My pastor recently asked us if we are committing our lives to God or surrendering them. What’s the difference you might ask? I’m glad you asked! Join me for my next post Enjoying the Surrender Part Two! Click here.
Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Proverbs 4:25-26
Hello Friends and Happy New Year! This weekend my husband and I sat down and did a review of 2023. Boy did we have a lot of fun! In the midst of vacations, concerts, family visits, the birth of a new grand baby I know there were also difficulties. My husband’s business is still recovering from the COVID lockdowns, as is the restaurant we invested in back in 2018. My sinus issues and pain reared its ugly head over and over. But I made a point last year to seek the Lord in every circumstance.
When things were good I prayed for the blessings bestowed. When times were hard I prayed to see Him at work pruning me and sharpening me. My bad days were more like bad hours or minutes. All because I made the conscious choice to trust in the Lord and release the work of the Holy Spirit in me. I cried during those hard times and the Lord comforted me. I celebrated during the good times and the Lord danced with me.
This morning as I headed out for a walk, I pondered over the varied goal lists my husband and I created yesterday. I realized I needed an umbrella plan to guide me again this year. A word to focus on as each day comes at us with force. Some of you may already partake in this annual “word selection.” Two Christmases ago while attending a women’s brunch at my church the topic came up and our tables discussed which words they had chosen that year and how successful they were at focusing on them. Being a results oriented person myself I was surprised I had never taken this on as a challenge. While this last year didn’t include a single word, I did make it a point to seek Him everywhere.
This year, I have decided to pick a word to guide me. I’d like to issue you the same challenge. Think about it, ponder, pray, ruminate, chew on it and then write it down. Put it on your bathroom mirror, in your car, on your Bible, on your refrigerator, or even on your wrist. It should be a word that can focus you on God’s Word in every situation. Once you’ve found your word, find a corresponding scripture to anchor it.
I found this great, short article by Steve Kyle, in the Mount Paran Christian School newsletter encouraging students, staff and parents on why you should select a biblical word of the year:
Focus – Once you have prayed about and discerned your word for the year, you’ll begin to notice that you hear it everywhere. Not only that, but your word will flow through your thoughts at seemingly random moments, when God knows we need the reminder. These moments may occur when we see a book title and read it because it relates to our word. Other times a sermon or even a social media post will catch our attention with a correlation. In every case, we are drawn toward the Lord with a fresh perspective.
Motivation – Our word will pop up at the most uncomfortable times. It’s easy for us to lose sight of long-term goals, becoming bogged down in the daily stuff. But, small emergencies rob us of our greater purpose, the “tyranny of the urgent.” When we feel overwhelmed, it’s easy to shut down. Big or long-haul goals seem impossible to attain. But, our word of the year grabs our attention again.God never gives up on us. Neither does He fail to remind us when we’ve made a commitment. Whatever your circumstances, a single word as a theme can and will motivate you. You’ll gain a longer-range spiritual goal and a desire to implement concrete actions to solidify it.
Accountability – The natural progression from focus through motivation leads straight to accountability. Our chosen word hangs like a store sign over our life. Part of the attraction of prayerfully choosing a word for the year is sharing it with friends. As soon as it’s uttered, the deal is sealed. We should not change our word or make excuses. Even if we never share our word with another living soul, God knows, and who can hold us more accountable than God?
Each day before rising ask the Holy Spirit to guide you with your word. At lunch time do a mini check-in with your word. During your evening prayers, review how you did with your word and ask the Lord to bolster you again tomorrow.
I’ll reveal my word in the coming days. I’m still pondering. It may become a blog series! Once you have your word drop me a note so I can pray for you because sharing your word will only help lead you to success this year!
Your friend in Christ, Kris
There are so many words to choose from but if you’ve never done this before, here’s a short list to jumpstart you!
I have seen their ways,
but I will heal them;
I will guide them and
restore comfort to
Israel’s mourners.Isaiah 57:18
In our lives we all have had instances of brokenness, despair and desolation. Those times when we feel we are on our last leg, at the end of the rope about to lose our grip and fall on our last gasping breath before we give up and begin to drown.
Where we go from that point and what we do next speaks volumes about your current state of faith.
Do we lash out and blame those around us and our circumstances for the state of our woundedness? Or do we reach down into our inner core and summon the power of God’s promise to deliver us to a better place?
What I have learned about myself from facing trials in the workplace is that my faith, when strong, protects me with an armor of perspective. When I am weak and not connected with my faith, I am vulnerable to believe false accusations and claims of harm and wrongdoing. I recognize it, I know the feeling and know the damage it can do if I accept and embrace the crushing doubt.
When we are hurt we can reach in or reach out to God
What my defense mechanism triggers is a quick accounting of the facts: what do I have control of and what do I not have control of? Next, I better get right with God and do it quick. I remind myself — I am not in control, He is. Then and only then can I respond and act. Any other process, for me, is futile and ineffective.
One of my favorite scripture verses I lean on in times of introspection and self-assessment is this one:
And which of you by worrying
can add a single hour to his
life’s span?Luke 12:15
Uhhhh, guilty!
And if I am on my game and thinking clearly my first response is to slow everything down and pray. Asking for discernment, clarity, and focus surprisingly works like a gem. Once we slow our racing mind, cool our sweaty brow and take control of our breathing in an effort to focus on who is in controls then the problems diminish, and the solutions come into clearer perspective.
God is that lens of clarity we all need. We are many times our own problem. But as Jesus promises, we –as in me and Jesus together– are the solution. “Don’t be afraid; just believe”- Luke 8:50
He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”Mark 5:34
Time after time in scripture Jesus proved and made examples of the power of healing through faith in the Lord. Jesus was the conduit, but faith was the pathway to the healing and rebirth.
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.Isaiah 58:8
It’s a partnership of pulling together. It is not a miraculous anointment from heaven, a surprise cleansing. It takes suffering, acknowledgement, surrender and faith.
Together, bound by faith and confidence, we are everything and anything we want to be. Alone, divided and broken we are only a sum of the remaining pieces–weakened by trial and doubt.
We all can heal, but only if our belief in the Lord is strong and steadfast.
This is what the Lord says to his anointed,to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of to subdue nations before him and to strip kings of their armor, to open doors before him so that gates will not be shut:I will go before you and will level the mountains;I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.I will give you hidden treasures,riches stored in secret places,so that you may know that I am the Lord,the God of Israel, who summons you by name.Isaiah 45:1-3
When I was 17, I moved across the country, away from my family to the Midwest for college. I was unsure what God had planned for me there, but I knew that I needed a new adventure and was excited to strike out on my own. It is difficult to describe with words that first feeling I had when my parents dropped me off at school and drove away into the distance to go back to California. I watched their car drive out of my university and eventually out of sight. For the first time, I was truly on my own. I felt my stomach drop and tears welled up in my eyes. Reality hit and I began to immediately doubt my decision.
One more hug from dad!
Those first months away from home were difficult. I spent many nights deep with sadness, missing my old life at home. Other nights I would be filled with joy at the exciting new venture I had bravely took head-on. Amidst the rollercoaster of emotions, I always had one underlying questions – What did God have planned for me here?
I wasn’t really a believer at the time, but I had gone to church my whole life and *generally* knew that God had a plan for our lives. Being from San Diego, I knew it was no coincidence that I ended up in Saint Charles, Missouri. It was random and I had zero connections to the area other than being recruited to play field hockey there. Despite not proclaiming Christ as my Savior yet, something inside of me knew there was a reason God brought me to this place.
St. Charles — A Water Tower Town
Rewind back to the initial verse I kicked off with. Isaiah 45: 1-3 discusses a prophesy of Cyrus, who is a pagan leader God chooses to deliver the Israelites from their captivity. These verses were written 200 years before Cyrus was born. Meaning, Cyrus’ life was already planned out way before he was ever a thought in his parent’s minds. God had a plan for Cyrus’ life – He has a plan for yours too.
God planned to use Cyrus in mighty ways, even though he was no mighty person. God chose him, predestined him to be the deliverer of God’s people. God wasn’t particularly favoring Cyrus, rather he was caring for His people as a whole by providing them a way out of their suffering through Cyrus.
I know that God loves me, cares for me and sees me as beautifully and wonderfully made. But just as much as he sees me as His child, He also sees me as an instrument to His Kingdom, a vessel for which he can work through me. Just as he did Cyrus.
I quickly found out that God’s plan for me in Saint Charles was to find salvation in His son Jesus Christ and to dedicate my life to serving Him – no matter where I was living, working, etc. God saved me so that He could use me on my field hockey team, amongst my roommates and in my workplace. Just as Cyrus’s plan for his life was written 200 years before he was born – so was mine, and yours.
When I look back to my years in college, I am reminded of the good and perfect plan God had for me during my time there. Every day was certainly not good and perfect, but the things He brought me through and the lessons He taught me showed me that He truly is a good and perfect God.
Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path.Psalm 119:105
God has already prepared a way for us. This truth alleviates me from worry and stress about tomorrow – something to which I still occasionally fall victim. God wrote the story of our lives generations ago, and has every intention of carrying out His good and perfect plan for us. All we must do is surrender control and open our hands to His authority.
The Lord will march out like
a champion,like a warrior he
will stir up his zeal;with a shout
he will raise the battle cry
and will triumph over his enemies.Isaiah 42:13
Like you, I’ve dealt with a lot of difficult people throughout my life. Whether it was at work, my children’s school, youth sports, or even my church, I encountered people who just wanted to be adversarial. And I am certain I was someone’s “difficult person” at one time or another. But I think the most painful experiences surrounding adversaries are when they are part of our family.
I was talking with a good friend of mine the other day about our two families. We both struggle with difficult parent situations. One day she and her sister had a heart to heart about a disagreement from a few weeks prior. With my Christian friend’s kind and gentle approach she spurred the revelation that they had become their parents. Each sister taking on the personality and fighting style of one of their parents. That revelation started a healing process in both of them. Truly a small victory.
In my own life I have transitioned through the stages of grief when it comes to my relationship with my parents. I denied there was a real problem in my family. When I finally recognized the problems, I became angry and fought constantly with my mother – trying to change her. I even had my own way of bargaining to try and create a Hallmark-style mother-daughter relationship. I would do things for her to help her see what a good person I really was. But my expectations and hopes were always dashed. I became depressed for awhile when I realized we would never be a family that loved being together. I just wanted to untie myself from my parents and let them go adrift. All of this was before I finally surrendered. I raised my white flag. But not to any human. To God.
But thanks be to God, who in
Christ always leads us in
triumphal procession, and
through us spreads the fragrance
of the knowledge of him everywhere.2 Corinthians 2:14
Paul wrote this to the church of Corinth during a very difficult time for him and his relationship with this church. They were angry with him for changing his plans about visiting. Some had started false preaching about him behind his back. And, as Warren Wiersbe states, “When Christians misunderstand each other the wounds can be very deep.” Isn’t that true of our families as well?
During the last few years, I have experienced that Christ-given “fragrance of knowledge of Him.” And as I have done so, I finally had to experience that last stage of grief – acceptance. For us Christians that acceptance comes, more importantly, with forgiveness. I stopped trying to change the situation by myself. And I started to rely on God to handle the situation with my parents. I hold on to the truth of who loves me for all eternity. And I’m learning how to stay tied to my parents without feelings of hurt and anger. As I spoke of this with my friend she announced very boldly, “And now you have VICTORY!”
..so you should rather turn
to forgive and comfort him,
or he may be overwhelmed by
excessive sorrow. 8 So I beg
you to reaffirm your love for him.
9 For this is why I wrote,
that I might test you and know
whether you are obedient in
everything. 10 Anyone whom you
forgive, I also forgive. Indeed,
what I have forgiven, if I have
forgiven anything, has been for
your sake in the presence of Christ,
11 so that we would not be
outwitted by Satan; for we are
not ignorant of his designs.2 Corinthians 2:7-11
I forgave my parents for not being able to provide me with what I was looking for in a relationship. I realized they had never been the recipients of overwhelming love. I stopped being angry and instead became thankful for the life which God has blessed me – a loving family of my own. Had I given up at any of the other 4 steps of grief surely Satan would have won. But like Paul, I am no longer ignorant of the devil’s designs.
Thanks be to God for the triumph He has promised us. We can hold fast knowing that, not only will He have victory over those who would do us harm, but also over our own souls which get injured and hurt by the world. We can have victory because the Spirit of God rests in us.
Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.” But they laughed at him.
After he put them all out, he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”).Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished.
Mark 5:36-42
I’m writing this post on the United States’ election day. When you read it, you’ll know much more about who may be the next U.S. president. There’s a lot of anxiety and fear swirling around the world right now because of this election. Unfortunately, so much of it is based on misinformation or downright disinformation. And a lot of it is designed to create fear and distrust. What’s so different for me this presidential election is the peace I have, which is solely due to my trust in God. I am not afraid; I just believe.
In Mark’s retelling of Jesus bringing this young girl back to life he starts out with her father, a leader in the synagogue, coming to a large gathering around Jesus. He urgently pleaded with Jesus to come and heal his sick daughter. He believed that just by touching his daughter, Jesus will heal her. As Jesus walks through the crowds towards the man’s house a woman, who had been bleeding for 12 years, reached out and touched Jesus’ clothes. She thought:
“If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”
Mark 5:27
Jesus knew at once that someone had put their faith in him. He turned to the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” (Mark 5:30) Of course, a lot of people had probably touched him because they were all crowding around Him. We so often want to be “fans” of Jesus, His groupies. But how often do we turn to Him in complete and total surrender and ask for His healing power, His peace? How often do we put limits on His ability to “make all things work together for our good?” (Romans 8:28). In fact, the simple act of turning to the crowd, searching for the woman who touched Him, caused the disciples and friends of the girl’s father to be almost annoyed. He was taking time away from what he “should” have been doing which was healing the girl. In other words, we think Jesus as all knowing, all powerful and yet in the same breath assume he can’t do all things.
We should not be so astonished, so amazed that Jesus can, by just being, heal us. We should not be so astonished that He also chooses to take action in His time. If we believe and have faith in the truths of the Bible, we must expect that, if Jesus can raise a little girl from the dead, if he can raise Lazarus from being many days dead, then He can handle anything else this world throws at Him.
This knowledge and trust is what has brought me through, not only this election season, but through the unrest brought on by Covid19. Each time I try and take back my fears and worries I am reminded in my Bible studies and through my amazing Christian relationships that peace can only be fully achieved by placing those fears back in God’s hands. A good friend has been completely transformed this year through this same process. My BSGs (Bible Study Girls) were reflecting today about how few times this friend speaks of “her anxiety” — which she used to wear like a favorite coat. Imagine that – with all the mess that is 2020 her anxiety has all but disappeared. Pretty amazing. Those trials and tribulations that James writes of have been hammered home this year.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
James 1:2-3
Have you taken these “opportunities” of trials to grow in your faith? To grow closer to God? To grasp the promise of Jesus’s peace? Another of my BSGs, who in a difficult trial, begged for God’s help and felt that peace descend over her. She described it as a weighted blanket – warm and calming. Isn’t that more of what we want rather than living in constant disarray, discombobulation and wailing?
So, as I wait for the results of this important election, I use each time my mind wants to lean into worry to instead lean into Jesus’ words – “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” And His amazing peace never fails to come over me.
The Lord bless me and keep me; the Lord makes his face shine on me and is gracious to me; the Lord turns His face toward me and gives me PEACE.
My youngest daughter is a poster child for God’s transformation. When she was a toddler, she constantly begged me to buy her bright and shiny things she saw advertised on tv then displayed on the grocery shelves. I left the grocery store many times during one of her meltdowns. As she got older, I heard on a daily basis of her “needs.” “I need more shorts (from the expensive store).” “I need more pants.” “I need a new straightener.” “I need a new (fill in the blank).” And then there were the social status issues: “Olivia’s mom gets her those, why can’t I have that?” We started calling her the family princess. My older daughter, who to almost frustration, never asks for anything. My prayer life was filled with asking for patience. This beautiful, smart, vivacious, talented, young girl acted like a spoiled brat. Thankfully, she reserved all the negative behavior for her home life. Away from home her teachers, coaches, and friends all loved her. But they didn’t have to live with her. My husband and I decided enough was enough. He started planning frequent mission projects for the two of them to participate in. She taught vacation Bible School. She got a job. We knuckled down on all those “needs.” And then we sent her off to college, waiting for her to start begging us for money each week.
Dad gives her one last hug
James first starts in chapter 1 that we should consider it pure joy whenever we face trials (James 1:2). I loved my daughter immensely during those younger years. I enjoyed her humor, her ability to make any situation into a song. She was a fierce, talented competitor on the field. She would burst into the house after school and shower me with love. That’s what I would thank God for, not for when things went off the rails. Without the hard stuff I might not have fully appreciated the good stuff. So, when I sent her off almost 2,000 miles away for college my house felt quiet, too quiet. And for her, she came to realize how good she had it at home. She faced terrible roommates, crazy coaches, and bored, lazy professors. But she also was led to a relationship with Jesus, thanks to being invited to attend an Athletes In Action meeting. Her “needs” became a need to live in God’s love – not the world of earthly desires. She surrendered herself fully and in turn, found what really matters in life – an eternal love plus the love and friendships that make us better. Now when she asks, she asks with the right motives. She asks for God’s will – not her’s.
This amazing, transformed, daughter of Christ has plans. But they’re God’s plans. Her creative mind and her earthly tendency to “want stuff” is still there. It’s amazing to watch her pull it back in. You can tell that peace dwells more frequently in her. Before they got married about a year ago, she and her husband went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace program. Having the desire to do it in the first place showed their spiritual maturity. They both have great jobs after having graduated college. And they could have a lot of “stuff.” But they made a plan with God in mind. My little girl who demanded so much is now so incredibly disciplined. And yes, she has thanked my husband and I many times over for instilling so many morals and values in her. But it’s God’s work that fully planted those in her heart. I truly believe the trials she went through while in college gave her a choice – to go down the earthly path or to turn and surrender to God.
James 4 was a message to my daughter.
“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives.” (v3)
“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?” (v4)
“Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (v7)
“Instead, you ought to say, if it’s the Lord’s will we will live and do this or that.” (v15)
James 4 is a message to all of us who struggle day in and day out with trying to control our lives. Trying to get all our “needs and wants” satisfied. It’s a message to all of us who have put “Self” in front of God. It’s also a message of hope that when we do what we ought to do, when we submit and surrender everything to God, He will draw near to us. We have a role to play and unless we take our required steps, God cannot finish the work in us. How many of us who struggle with money are willing to spend the next few months going through Financial Peace University?”
And lest we think “those people” are the ones that need to hear this message, the work God had to do in me with my relationship with my daughter was huge. When I finally surrendered her over to him, when I finally threw up my hands and said, “Ok, I’ve failed, I’ll try it your way,” I could start mending our relationship. When I started praying His will, and not mine, great things happened. The planning of her wedding was God’s gift to both of us. Had she been the “girl before God” she would’ve demanded expensive, well, everything. Instead she and her fiancé put together a tight budget. We made decorations. We eliminated needless activities. God sent them people who would make a cake for $60, a free videographer, an inexpensive caterer. They wanted the focus to be on Jesus. It was so darn fun.
God’s gifts to me, my two beautiful daughters, are just that – His gifts. And like my finances, and my marriage, and my home, I need to be a good steward of His gifts. So, I pray for His will be done. And may the devil flee.
When my eldest was two years old (she’s now 27) I quit my career job. It was a big decision for me as I placed so much value in working. I had never planned on being married and having children so getting a good education and then a good career was my grand plan. And here I was, about 10 years after graduating college, quitting. One day, we were out for a walk. At a busy intersection, the crosswalk light turned for us and I pushed the stroller in front of a line of waiting cars. Halfway across a man yelled out of his car, “Hurry up and why don’t you get a damn job!” I was mortified. I wasn’t angry with the man for being out of line, I was ashamed. Ashamed I didn’t have a job to identify me as “worthy.” How he would know my job status could only be the work of the devil.
Sometimes we accept the word of satan much easier than the Word of God
Joyce Meyer
My value, my self-worth, was wrapped up in a career. Here I had a beautiful baby, a loving husband, a nice home and yet I was unable to see these gifts from God. I had a plan and I had quit that plan. I was a failure. Each day my husband would come home and out of habit ask me what I had done that day. Boy did that get my hackles up! I started inventing things I had done or making what little I had done sound so exhausting and important. I mean a trip to the dry cleaning can really take a lot out of you. Instead of enjoying those precious moments of playing hide and go seek with my daughter I fretted over my future.
“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.”
James 4:13-14
Life seems so complex and we want to control it. By making our plans we try to take the chaos out of our lives. We don’t want to be those “losers” who don’t have enough money to live on when we retire. We make grand plans for our bank accounts. We try to position ourselves so we are the ones that get that great promotion. We commit ourselves to long term goals with creating a family, losing weight, travelling, careers and so much more. And yet, we forget about today. The right here and now.
“Do not boast about tomorrow for you do not know what a day may bring.”
Proverbs 27:1
That doesn’t mean we aren’t to be good stewards of our gifts. I did a Bible study once where the entire focus was on being a good manager of what God has placed in our hands. You see it’s never about having money or not having money with God. It’s never about having a good job or not. It’s not about saving money to buy a home or not. God’s has all good things in mind for us. It’s always about our relationship with Him. When we submit to the will of God, it all starts to make sense.
I used to pray for God to bring me joy one day. That day was, of course, when I was financially secure, my kids were in good jobs and married, and I finally had the perfect lakehouse. Sounds like the perfect plan, right? I kept putting off joy. Instead of investing in my eternal life by appreciating today, I was investing in my earthly life by ignoring today. I was reading a sermon by Charles Spurgeon today called, “Waiting Only Upon God.” He tells this story about the Scottish novelist and playwright Sir Walter Scott:
“Perhaps there never was a mind more gigantic than the mind of Sir Walter Scott: a man whose soul was as fertile as the newly broken soil of the land of gold. That man was a good man I believe, a Christian; but he made a mistake in the object of his life. His object was to be a lord, to found a family, to plant the root of an ancestral tree the fruit of which should be heard of in ages to come; magnificent in his hospitality, generous in his nature, laborious in his continual strife to win the object of his life, yet after all he died a disappointed and unsuccessful man. He reared his palace, he accumulated his wealth and one sad day saw it scattered to the wind, and he had lost that for which he had lived. Had he fixed his eye upon some better object than the pleasing of the public, or the accumulation of wealth, or the founding of a family, he might have got the others, and he would not have lost the first. Oh! had he said “Now I will serve my God; this potent pen of mine, dedicated to the Most High; shall weave into my marvellous stories things that shall enlighten, convince, and lead to Jesus,” he might have died penniless, but he would have died having achieved the object of his wishes—not a disappointed man.”
In other words, God gifts us in so many ways – with different talents, with finances, with family, etc – but when we make the plan to succeed at those, without seeking His Will, we will surely be disappointed at the end. We work and we toil. We stress and we plan. And we forget this one thing.
“You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
James 4:14
It’s true. We all will die. We don’t know the day or the hour. Without God as our light, without God as our object of desire, we waste our days clutching and worrying. Spurgeon goes on to say that so many of us make our plans and then turn to God asking what we should do and then go do what we originally planned. Sound familiar? In fact, after researching for this post I finally realized I hadn’t prayed yet what God wanted me to say. I kept bouncing back to my notes thinking about what I wanted to write. I finally just opened my computer, put my hands to the keys and said, “Tell me what you want me to say.” I had done my research, I had quotes and verses to pull from so I was prepared. But in the end, I was also willing to do what God told me to do.
I heard a sermon the other day called “Crazy Faith.” The pastor started out talking about Noah. Here’s this guy, most likely a farmer, who the Bible called a “righteous man.” Meaning he probably honored his debts, paid his workers and did a bang-up job with taking care of his family. He had it all planned out. Toil away in the fields year after year and be a successful farmer. And then God. The great part of this story is Noah didn’t say, “But I have my own plan for my life. I’m a farmer, not a ship builder. Oh, and by the way, I don’t live by an ocean. I’m going to go out and plant some more seeds and reap my harvest. Go away.” I’m sure being a “righteous man” he prayed to God for good things to happen in his life. So, when God said, “Ok, here’s a good thing I want you to do.” He did it. Are we so willing? Or are we married, fully committed to our plan? We are so committed that we miss the God given opportunities to help and love others. We miss the doors He opens for an amazing life rather than the toiling life we have planned.
A few posts ago I mentioned the 100 Lunches Project. Each week for about a year God led me to feeding the homeless. It wasn’t about feeding the homeless really. It was about ripping that need to work and justify my daily activities out of my heart and mind. It was about not planning every single detail out. It was about going first to Him to check in on what He wanted from me. At the time I was working at a school counseling office. I worked three days a week. It made me feel worthy. And then He told me that I needed to deliver food regularly on one of those three days. When I went into the office the next day I said, “I know you are familiar with my 100 Lunches Project. Well, God told me I need to start doing it on Wednesdays so that means I can’t work that day.” Yep, I said that. And the response was, “Ok, sounds good. We are happy to have you whichever days you can give us.” My mouth might have dropped open a bit. Each and every time I went to God for direction, on money, on what to buy, on where to go, on the help I needed, He answered. And I obeyed. It was glorious.
So, you see, it’s not about trying to build up that big retirement account. It’s about asking God what you should do with that paycheck. And doing it. Charles Stanley’s Life Principles #2 & #5 say to obey God and leave all the consequences to Him – even if it seems unreasonable. EVEN IF he asks us to build an ark in the middle of the desert. He has great plans for us – we may not ever be famous or wealthy. But that plan will be good. And if He doesn’t answer right away, as Christians that live close to God, we already know to be good stewards of His gifts. We will have prepared for the day He does speak. Until then, He calls us to enjoy what we have right now. For tomorrow may never come.
emboldened.net 