Tag: book of james

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Show Me, Tell Me

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First published September 8, 2020 as part of the His Works Project series.

They didn’t want to add to our current, stressful situation.  My husband, their son, owns and operates residential Alzheimer’s care facilities and each day the state government was changing rules related to COVID-19.  The staff were worried. The residents’ families were worried. True to their gracious nature, they didn’t want to add another burden.

You see, my precious mother-in-law had been diagnosed with uterine cancer.  When we talk about angels on Earth you’re talking about her.  When I picture her, I see love.  I see goodness. She is one of my touchstones.  She’s a lot of people’s touchstones. During the last 32 years she has quietly guided my faith journey.  And she has cancer.

News like that can stop your heart for a moment. It certainly stopped mine. Yet almost immediately, my mind drifted back to a passage in James that had been challenging me for months.  In our first look at the book of James, we see him leap from the starting gate in his letter to the church with a challenging statement:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3

A few years ago, that statement might have earned the response, “Are you ‘cray, cray’?”  Meaning you’ve got to be kidding.  Not only “joy” but “pure joy.”  It reminds me of the scene in the movie Animal House — a pop culture film about a college fraternity. In it, actor Kevin Bacon is being initiated into the fraternity.  He is required to be harshly paddled by its members.  But not just paddled, he must also request the beating each time by yelling, “Thank you sir! May I have another!”  The pain is evident on his face with each whack.  Yet he knows he must ask for more to achieve his ultimate goal — membership.

While I don’t believe God wants us begging for trials, He knows in the course of our existence they will naturally come.  In Mark 10, Jesus tells the disciples that not only will they receive a hundred times what they have given up to follow Him but also persecutions.  Throughout the Bible we are encouraged to embrace our trials, whether from persecution, loss, or affliction, so that our faith may mature.

I’ve often heard the phrase “baby Christian,” describing someone who has accepted Christ but not yet matured in faith. Just as physical maturity requires effort and discipline, spiritual maturity requires intentional growth. Trials are often God’s classroom.

Our stunted Christian spiritual growth doesn’t always seem as obvious to us as our physical issues do.  However, it takes much of the same concerted effort to grow in our faith. Too often our spiritual lives become a cycle of victories and setbacks. We make progress, lose ground, and begin again. But we need to seek to be at the place James calls us to — finding Pure Joy in the difficult times.

With James’ simple opening salvo he blasts us into paying attention. We can either 1) scoff and choose to ignore him as a crazy person or 2) say, “tell me how.”

In Luke 22:28 Jesus listens to a dispute among the disciples. They are arguing who is the greater disciple (sounds like one of my PTA meetings).  He interrupts and tells them, “You are (all) those who have stood by me in my trials.”  His trials.  You see, Jesus was sent to not only verbally teach us our Father’s ways but to experience our earthly ways to show us how to handle them.  We mark our spiritual growth chart with each trial when we turn to Jesus and say, “you’ve been here, show me what to do.”

There are plenty of self-help books out there to guide us to being mature adults. But the best book to read for both spiritual growth and worldly maturity is the Bible.  Every single book of the Bible talks about trials or persecution.  And without fail the solution is prayer. Not just any prayer. A personal plea.  A demanding of God’s blessing to rain down on us.  A clearing of our eyes to see the joy.  And then listening.  He will speak to you.

God rarely just throws us first into the fiery pit. And even if He does, He is always with us.  That alone is a blessing for which to be thankful. With each trial, each persecution, He expects us to grow more trusting of Him. Yes, expects.  Dr. Charles Stanley’s Life Lesson #7 says, “The dark moments of our life will last only so long as is necessary for God to accomplish His purpose in us.”  So, my advice to you, accept and learn early and as quickly as possible.

With each trial thrown in your path, you gain perseverance, patience and clarity of God’s presence. But we must do the work of asking Jesus, “Show me.”  I once told my Bible Study group we need to shorten the “ah ha moment gap” from years, to months, to days, to instantly. We all can look back at situations where maybe we didn’t get the job we’d hoped for or maybe even got fired from a job.  Or a loss of a home due to fire, a friendship that soured, a marriage dissolved.  How long has it taken you to accept the way God was working in that time?  Have you seen it yet?  He was there. He spoke to you.

Why is all this important? We know there will be trials so that means we can’t do anything about them, correct?  When we dread what we think is to come, when we are poured into concrete boots of fear during trials, we’ve taken our eyes off Jesus.  And if we are to grow in this project called Us we need a strong foundation of keeping our faith and trust in Him alone.

This is not an easy task.  For some of us it takes every minute of every hour re-focusing our mind on Him – especially when we are afraid.  I’ve come to use the term, “Perspective Change Moment” with some of my friends.  When we start in on our ills, fears, anger, dread it helps to have someone say to us, “Yes, that’s awful and…..”

With the same practice we put into doing our hair every morning or working out or learning how to use our smartphone or figuring out how late we can sleep and still get to work on time we need to attack the devil that keeps trying to pull our eyes away from Jesus.  Show me, Jesus.  Speak to me, God.  It’s not enough to tell yourself, or others, “don’t worry” or “don’t be afraid.”  We must fill our minds with something other than that fear and worry.

In Luke 11, Jesus tells the story of an impure spirit coming out of a person and goes looking for a better place.  When the spirit doesn’t find it he returns to find a nice, clean, empty house.  And you know what that impure spirit does?  He invites a few more friends to join him!  Had that person cast out the spirit with Jesus’ help and filled that home with God’s Word, Jesus’ love, and the constant presence of the Holy Spirit you can bet the evil spirit wouldn’t make it past the garden gate!

I have a good friend who was laid off from her church position about three years ago. It has been difficult for her to find the joy in that trial. For me, I can remember how unhappy she was in that job.  But no matter how many times I told her how miserable she was, she still couldn’t accept it. Until she finished one of her journaling books.

One day a week or so ago she started reading through her old journals from that time. In them she found her old self praying for God’s intervention constantly. Each workday entry was a distraught woman praying for God to fix the problems swirling at work. She finally had her “ah ha moment.”  God was there, telling her to leave. But she kept holding on.  That day she made a new mark on her spiritual growth chart.  God had spoken to her and she had the joy of knowing He was with her.  She could release all the negative emotions surrounding losing that job.  It wasn’t where God wanted her to be.

So, here I was, working on being the best team member I could be for my husband as we waded through the throes of the COVID-19 lockdown and my in-laws finally decided we needed to hear the news.  Cancer.  Just a year ago this would have put me in a tailspin. But in just that year’s time, I’ve gone through a family death, putting on a distance wedding, accepting the fact that I’m not going to work anymore, and much more.  With each trial, I leaned a little more heavily on my Rock and learned to recognize the joy hidden within it.

So, after the news I took my dog for a quiet walk in our nearby canyon and asked Jesus, “Show me.”   I cried out to God the great Counselor, God my Comforter.  I first pleaded and said, “You can’t take her.”  I raised my hands high and begged for mercy for my sweet mother-in-law. I reminded Him she is a faithful servant. She is His loving daughter. And then I listened.

He reminded me we all must pass one day, just as her own mother did a year ago. He reminded me that He loves her even more than I do.  He told me to just keep loving her and living out joy moments right now, today. He showed me that when her time comes, just as mine will too, she will join her mom in glory at God’s card game table.  The battle of who is the best 31 card player will continue into eternity.  And I laughed.

Are you going through a trial and need prayers?  I’d love to pray with you.  Have you gone through a trial and had your “ah ha moment?” Please share.

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Lord, I Cry Out for Mercy

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First published September 17, 2020 as part of the His Works Project series.

She was rarely “late.”  With each passing day she began to worry more.  She and her boyfriend knew better but they were young, just 15 and 16.  They frequently met up for sex while his mother was at work.  And they didn’t use protection.  So, five days after she should’ve started her period, she found herself sitting on the toilet, with a small Tupperware bowl waiting to catch her urine.  She had never been to a clinic before and had called to see if they could do a pregnancy test.  As she sat there, she prayed.  

She wasn’t a church-goer.  In fact, her parents never spoke of God.  Yet she regularly was moved to pray.  She didn’t know what it meant to trust God or receive justification through faith in Jesus.  She just knew she needed to pray.  She had prayed for a lot of things over the years.  For her mom to stop hitting her.  For her dad to speak to her.  For her brother to stop tormenting her.  She didn’t know if God was listening but she kept praying. 

As she sat there praying for mercy – because that’s what would have to happen – she swore she would change her ways.  She made empty promises, begging to not be pregnant. And just as she began to capture a sample, her period started.  God had not only granted her mercy but also mercy on her potential child.  For had she been pregnant she most assuredly would have aborted it.

That girl was me.  I didn’t deserve His mercy.  I was regularly living in sin and creating my own rules, my own false sense of ‘righteousness.’  I deserved the punishment.  I deserved to have to face a difficult choice and live with it for the rest of my life.  But He showed mercy. For 39 years, I’ve remembered that day as if it were yesterday. But how many times have I failed to show others that same mercy?

“Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.  Mercy triumphs over judgement.” James 2:12-13

I recently listened to a podcast about refusing to settle for mediocrity. It prompted me to examine how well I understood the words we Christians use so often. We sit in church, listen to podcasts, and read devotionals, but how often do we hear theological terms without fully understanding them? So I started a list.

  • Righteousness: living in a way that reflects God’s truth through our words and actions.
  • Sanctification: the process by which the Holy Spirit molds us into the image of Jesus.
  • Justification: being declared righteous before God through faith in Jesus Christ.
  • Grace: simply put, God’s favor and kindness toward us.
  • Mercy: not receiving the punishment we deserve.

Writing these definitions gave me a clearer understanding of the amazing work God does in us through His Holy Spirit. But most of all, I kept coming back to mercy.  I understood that God forgives us each time we fall into the traps of sin.  We all have been in the situation Paul lamented when he wrote the following:

“Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.  What a wretched man I am!” Romans 7:21-24

Each and every day we find ourselves sinning – worried about money, hoarding our gifts, being judgmental and unkind to others, unforgiving of our loved ones or even strangers.  Gossiping, stealing, or even hating or causing injury to others.  There is only one being to have ever walked this earth that didn’t need God’s grace, forgiveness and mercy – Jesus.

Charles Spurgeon wrote in his prayer “Deliver Us From Evil” about mercy:

“We come for mercy, great God.  It must always be our first request, for we have sinned against a just and holy law of which our consciences approve.  We are evil, but Your law is holy and just and good.  We have offended knowingly.”

I knew having sex outside of marriage was wrong.  I knew having unprotected sex outside of marriage was stupid.  And yet I did it time after time.  God gifted me with mercy over and over.  He also gifted me with mercy when He delivered the right man to me to become my husband.  I didn’t deserve him.  I was a mess.  After 31 years of marriage I still thank God my husband has stuck with me as I unlearn old patterns from when I was outside of God’s justification. And I know now, it’s time for me to pick up my part of the bargain.

“Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7

I’m grateful that God flipped this admonition.  He has done it with so many of us.  He has shown us the mercy we didn’t deserve.  We need to pass that glorious gift along to others.  There are those in our lives that we hope to fail, that we wish ill will, that we hope will “get their just due.”  Aren’t we thankful that God doesn’t think the same about us?

For about two years I worked as a substitute in a high school office. There were two positions like mine. When the other position was filled with a young woman I was encouraged by her enthusiasm.  She was full of ideas and brought a cheery face to the job.  And then she started being late every day.  At times she wouldn’t even show up.  When she did show up, I would find her on Facebook or on personal phone calls.  Her failings impacted my job.  I became bitter because, hey, I was just a substitute.  Why should I have to make up for her issues when she was an actual employee?  I found myself driving to work dreading what was to come.  I actually prayed she would get hit by a bus so I wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore.  Yes, I did that.

The situation became so difficult that I considered quitting, but doing so would have left people I cared about in a bind. Three months in, I sat at an intersection on the way to work.  It was a long red light.  The Holy Spirit descended on me in the car.  I had my Perspective Change Moment.  What I should have been doing all along was praying for God to intervene positively in her life.  I could have left her to do two people’s jobs and/or complain endlessly to the supervisor, but I needed to show mercy and love.  So, I prayed every day for the next week that God would resolve the problem.  For God to help her.  For God to take control.  The peace that came over me was amazing!

After that one week she resigned.  And a good friend of mine who had been a finalist for the job previously was hired.  God is good.  God is forgiving.  God, thankfully, is merciful.

To quote the explorer Christopher Columbus, “I am a most noteworthy sinner, but I have cried out to the Lord for grace and mercy, and He has covered me completely.  I have found the sweetest consolation since I made it my whole purpose to enjoy His marvelous presence.”

To whom do you need to show mercy?  How has God been merciful to you?

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The Great Destructive Force

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Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming,
    but who can stand before jealousy?  Proverbs 27:4

When I delved into research about envy vs. jealousy I came across this interesting view from Psychology Today: 

“Although jealousy is a painful emotional experience, evolutionary psychologists regard it not as an emotion to be suppressed but as one to heed—as a signal or a wake-up call that a valued relationship is in danger and that steps need to be taken to regain the affection of a mate or friend. As a result, jealousy is seen as a necessary emotion, because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain important relationships.”

Jealousy, unlike envy, is about emotional needs within relationships.  Be it between spouses, children and parents, or even between co-workers and a boss.  “My mother loves my sister more than me.”  “My wife pays too much attention to our neighbor.”  “He’s always playing up to the boss for compliments.”  These are all situations where a person is seeking to fulfill emotional needs through the wrong outlet.  When we feel jealousy arise in our hearts it should be a warning to evaluate where our prideful hearts are seeking to fulfill all its needs.

In the books of Mark and Luke a scene unfolds wherein the disciples argue amongst themselves who is the greatest of them.  They all want to be seen as the “top dog” alongside Jesus.  Who does Jesus love more?  Who does He rely on the most?  All signs of a strain of jealousy woven among them.  And true to Jesus’ ability to cut through the sin of man He reminds them all that they are to be the “least” among men.  To accept His love as little children, with innocence and grace.  James later reminds us of jealousy’s dangerous results: “You desire and do not have so you murder.  You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”

Friend, as Samuel Rutherford once wrote, “There is so much in our Lord’s pantry that will satisfy His children, and much wine in His cellar that will quench all their thirst.”  He admonishes us to live on Christ’s love alone.  When we place all our emotional needs in one human relationship we are sure to be disappointed. And disappointment can lead to jealousy.  As Rutherford goes on to say, “Let those who love this present world have it; Christ is the more worthy and noble portion; blessed are those who choose Him.”

Loving Lord, thank you for being a fountain of love that never runs dry.  A place I can return to over and over to refresh me.  Help me to seek your love above all so I can place my earthly relationships in the right place in my heart.  Amen

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Guard Your Heart

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Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

I’ll admit to you right here for the world to read that I have a serious problem with cursing.  Once upon a time I was innocent with my expletives.  I’d say, “Jimminy Crickets!” and “gosh darn.”  And then I started working in a restaurant.  By the time I’d graduated high school my responses to things that went awry or to not nice people weren’t so innocent any more.  Up until recently I figured I just needed to work harder at stopping.  But I was reminded that overcoming sin requires more than just “working harder.”

I read a devotional that convicted me of the root of my sin – the status of my heart.  It shone a light on what was flowing from my heart — anger, pride, unforgiveness, lack of compassion, lack of self-control.  Although James was spot on with his imagery of the tongue being like a fire, I realized that that fire is sparked by my heart.  

My “ah ha” moment that day was how much anger I allow to swirl around in my head and in my heart when someone doesn’t act how I expect or when the world doesn’t stick to My Plan.  Instead of compassion, kindness, love there’s *@%!   A truly ugly use of my God-given heart and tongue.  And a heart change can only take place with the help of the Holy Spirit.  My gal pals know I’ve joined forces with the Holy Spirit to remind me of the fruits of the spirit whenever I leave my house (because I never seem to have a cussing problem in the quiet confines of my She Shed!).  I cannot produce this fruit; I can only bear it because I am closely attached to the vine of Jesus. 

Friend, the world doesn’t think cussing is any big deal these days.  In the past, you’d never hear cuss words on tv or on the radio.  If you’ve ever spent more than a few minutes at an elementary school – yes, elementary school – you’ll find our lax attitudes toward this sin have affected our children.  But we are called as Christians to be different.  To be transformed.  We are to guard our hearts from taking in and spewing darkness.   I, for one, take the pledge.  How about you?

Holy Spirit, guide my choices today in what I take into my mind and heart and help me to return to the world the fruits of your Spirit – kindness, compassion, patience and most of all love.  Amen

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“Those” Seasons

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Hello friends!  It’s been a while since I’ve added to my blog.  For the last few months I’ve been in one of “those” seasons.  Loss, heartache, questioning, along with so many conversations with God and His Holy Spirit.  As James reminds us,

“Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”  

And ain’t that the truth.  

We have a few roads from which to choose when we go through our difficult seasons.  We can beg the Lord to go back to the familiar and comfortable.  We can rush our minds to the other side of the trial either imagining an outcome far worse or far better than we hope or fear.  Or we can learn a bit from Jesus’ brother and “let this perseverance finish its work so we can be mature and complete.”  In other words, we live in this God-given moment right now, seeking His blessings, seeking His voice, and seeking the lessons to be learned.  

The day I wrote this post my devotional reminded me to not work for food that perishes but for the food which endures eternal life. (Charles Stanley, Every Day in His Presence) I was admonished to change my point of view and not focus on the problems right in front of me but rather what God’s interest is in developing me for His eternal purpose.  And very importantly, asking for help in learning His lessons quickly so that His peace and strength would again be my resting place.

During these last few months I’ve also been deep dive into Priscilla Shirer’s study on Elijah with my BSGs.  As usual, God is using all of my life to teach me about standing firm in my faith and stepping forward in trust.  And as I have prayed to God to reveal to me my next blog series I kept hearing the phrase: “Lessons from Cherith.”  You see, Elijah had to spend a lot of time alone, facing his own trials before he was ready for the “big show.”  In that time, some of which was in the area called Cherith, he had to choose to either trust God’s eternal plan for him or not.  He had to remove so many well-honed cultural and religious thoughts of “the way things are supposed to be” and instead see how God works.  And he had to decide to stand out amongst the crowd.

And although my “Cherith” hasn’t lasted for as long as Elijah’s or even as long as Jesus was in the wilderness, I learned some valuable lessons while communing with the Holy Spirit.  In the next few weeks I’d like to share some of these with you.  To hopefully help us realign our lives to be Christian lives, lived out for all the world to see.  For our friends and neighbors and co-workers to be spurred to ask why we seem different.  

Friends, we can’t keep wandering through the wilderness of this earthly world living up to its standards.  It’s time to take our hard earned lessons from “those seasons” and put them to work for the glory of God.

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After Eden

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So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

During December of 2020 many people kept announcing that “next year will definitely be better.”  I could understand the longing, the hope and desire.  Let’s face it, 2020 was rife with fear, loss, despair, and worry.  I told people around me to be careful romanticizing the turn of a calendar.  Who knew what 2021 would bring – floods, fires, more plagues, death, political uprisings? And it certainly didn’t disappoint.   A short walk through say, the book of James or Jude, reminds us that trials of many kind befall us each and every year.  It’s our response to those trials that set us apart from the world.

So often when we think of “new beginnings” we can think of them as an adventure, something exciting to embark upon.  Probably something God will guide you through to success.  But what if your new beginning is a result of a terrible trial?  A loss?  Will you still seek God and see Him at work in the midst of it all?

If there’s one man whose new beginning exemplified having to start all over, having lost it all, it was Adam.  He had everything you and I could ever want.  A beautiful home, plenty to eat and drink.  No worries except what to name the next animal.  His yoke was light.  He was to be the way maker for all of us.

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  Genesis 2:15

And when Adam failed to honor his end of the covenant he did what so many of us do when we fail God – he tried to hide.   Instead of running to God asking for forgiveness He compounded his sins by acting shamefully. But God.

But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9

Millions of Christians and non-believers know the story that took place in the Garden of Eden.  But when we look at God’s actions we see His loving care for humans, His unique creation.  He knew Adam had failed yet notice He didn’t let him go.  He sought Him out with a gentle question.  He could have immediately wiped the slate free of humanity after the betrayal.  Instead, God clothed Adam in new garments and gave him new skills then sent him off on a new beginning.  A chance to be the first step in the long path toward the new Adam – Jesus.

And Adam, by all accounts accepted the results of his sin and moved forward into his new beginning.  A life outside the walls of Eden but one in which God was fully present.  Adam and Eve didn’t step outside the gates, plunk down and give up.  They didn’t choose to live in shame and despair.  No, they knew God.  They knew God still loved them and cared for them. So they took the new direction God gave them and made a new life.  I love the last few lines in Genesis 4 in which Adam and Eve are mentioned:

At that time people began to call on the name of the Lord.  Genesis 4:26

Adam and his family never stopped worshipping God and talking with Him even though they had suffered a great loss.  They brought their first fruits to Him and stayed close to God.  And their work, their new beginning, brought others to God as well.  If not for their commitment to God’s new beginning laid out for them there wouldn’t have been their son Seth.  And Seth led to Noah. Without Noah there wouldn’t have been a righteous man left to continue humanity.  God’s plan at work.  God’s plan working even when it comes out of sin or loss.  It’s our job to keep trusting Him and accepting Him at His word.

I’ll be honest, for most of my life I’ve been an avowed pessimist.  It’s taken a lot of work by our triune God to help me see Him in my trials.  To see how He is working a good, new thing in our lives.  When circumstances go wrong around me my new attitude is that God is in my midst.  He does want all things to work for good.  I may never know how my commitment to Him will affect the Grand Plan.  But I do know He never left Adam and He will never leave you.

Have you been tempted to give up on God after a trial or loss? God is still working in your life. He’s asking you to trust Him. Call on Him today for strength to live in your new beginning.

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Tears

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But while he was still a long way off his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  Luke 15:20

I know the text doesn’t say it but I can only imagine the tears flowing from the father and mother in the story of the prodigal son.  In fact, the King James version says “he fell on his son’s neck” in a dramatic display of joy and love.  Awhile ago, my family brought me to tears of joy with a surprise visit from my daughter, whom I hadn’t seen in months.  I heard the front door open and thinking it was my older daughter I made my way toward the front of the house to tell her hello.  When I realized it was my younger daughter I was overcome with tears and unable to speak.  I stood there sobbing in her arms.

It may seem strange to be thankful to God for tears but without them our world would be so vanilla.  I’ve laughed until I have cried with friends and family.  I’ve cried out to God, thankful for His grace and salvation.  I’ve wept at the birth of my daughters.  And yes, I’ve cried those tears of sorrow, of loss, of anger, of desperation.

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5

So often we must weep, live in hard times before we can experience the full glory and blessing of God.  It’s why James tells us we should consider it joy to experience trials.  Because those trials produce good fruit in us.  And that fruit becomes something for us to share.

I have a friend whose 90 year old mother confesses to not remembering the last time, if ever, that she has cried.  What that means is she hasn’t participated fully in the gifts of life.  With each winter season in our lives we are so often rewarded with the spring, a time to bring  us great joys.  I want to go from this life knowing I have cried many tears from laughter, thankfulness, joyous surprise, beautiful surroundings and more.  I heard a Christian teacher say, “If you want the joy of Sunday’s resurrection you must first have the tears of Friday’s crucifixion.”

I’m so very grateful to God for giving us the outward ability to show our emotions.  To show those we love how much we love them, even after they are gone.  I’m looking forward to the day I can cry tears of joy when I see Jesus’ face watching for me from a long way off.  I know that when I get close enough, I will fall into His arms weeping, filled with joy.

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The Midol Woman

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We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

I love watching the British tv show Midsommer Murders.  I’m a detective fan since my young girl days of hiding my Nancy Drew books inside my school desk and sneaking it out when the teacher wasn’t looking.  I pay extra on my Amazon Prime account to get these shows.  Recently however, they’ve added commercials – dropped in at odd places in the show.  One such commercial keeps popping up, show after show, day after day.   It’s for Midol, the pain reducer typically suggested to relieve cramping and pains due to menstruation.  

The commercials themselves are a testament to where we are at in society.  You see, each of the women are portrayed as victims.  Not necessarily of having a period but of having to deal with the pain and therefore their related behavior.  I call them the Midol Women.   One actress states, “If I don’t stop apologizing for my period behavior (apparently she’s quite a bear during this time) then it’ll never stop for future generations.”  Another states, “I’m not going to keep apologizing for being a ‘mad black woman’ just because I’m on my period.”  Period.

The message conveyed is “whatever I’m feeling today the world had better watch out!” And, “don’t make me apologize for what I’m about to unleash!”

Isn’t that the loud and clear message we hear so much today?  I’m not required to keep my mouth in check because (fill in the blank – my truth, my pain, my socioeconomic status, my race, my sexuality, my whatever) but YOU had better keep your mouth in check.  It all creates a bit of a neck whiplash.  And the result? Pain, hurt feelings, swelling pridefulness, torn relationships, violence and more.

James 3:10-11 says, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers and sisters, this should not be.  Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 

When it’s a Christian acting in this way we get the giant stamp of “hypocrite” placed on, not only us as individuals, but the faith as a whole.  It’d be better to live by the wisdom of the Proverbs.

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.  Proverbs 29:11

This concept has really hit home for me these past few months as I’ve battled constant pain in my ears and head.   I want to lash out at my husband at the end of the day when he’s being, well, just a man.  Normally I could laugh and tease him.   But it takes all the strength and patience out of me each day to not give in to the pain.  So when someone close to me does something annoying, my strength needs to come from somewhere else.   Because my tank is empty.

I don’t want to ruin a beautiful weekend by constantly gripping about how I feel.  I may always feel this way if my doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong.  So I have to ask myself, do I want to be the Midol Woman and demand that everyone around me accept my emotional bombs?  Or do I draw on the strength of God which the apostle Paul wrote when he spoke of his constant thorn in his side (2 Cor 12:7-10)?

Believe me, I want to be cured.  And I don’t like that women must suffer during their periods.  I hate that people, like my mother in law, have to deal with the effects of chemotherapy. Migraines, back pain, knee pain, the list goes on and on.  When we lose sight of who we belong to and what is expected of us we fall prey to being the Midol Woman.  We lose control of our tongue and its ability to “set great forests on fire by a small spark.” (James 3:5)

Dear Christian, we are held to a higher standard than the Midol Women of this world.  And yes, it is okay to be weak and cry.  It’s okay to lose our cool once in a while and have a bad day.  But to say we shouldn’t apologize for lashing out in those weak times is of the flesh and we are called to be better.  God expects us to be better, and most of all to be humble.  The world says it’s ok to rant, rave, slam doors, curse others – as long as it doesn’t happen to you.  God says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28)

It’s at our weakest times that our decision to be resolute in our faith is tested.  Not on the good days, not on the days our pain is masked, not on the sun shining days.  No, throughout the Bible we see we are almost sure to be tested on the bad days, the days we want to stay in bed, the days it takes a full tank and we are living on just a quarter.  It’s those days that when people say to me, “God is just a crutch” that I say, “Great, give me two.”

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Our Quarrelsome World

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And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26

There’s certainly been a lot of “quarreling” the last 20 years in the United States and the world in general.  These last few years have seen a steady rise in conflicts.  Conflicts used to be among countries.  The most troublesome trend seems to be that now more than ever they are among neighbors.  

We live in a world where all bets are off when it comes to social niceties.  One article I read reminds us of some of the following “old fashioned etiquette rules”:

  1. Don’t point
  2. Don’t curse
  3. Dress to impress
  4. Stick to tasteful topics
  5. Cover your mouth when you cough
  6. Avoid private conversations in public

All of those, plus the others I haven’t listed, are to allow for a calm and peaceful and respectful social environment.  But a cell phone video I saw the other day is just one example of how we’ve thrown so many of these out the window.  

The video, taken by a woman shopping at Target, shows an older man following her and pointing at her.   He has a mask on and a sticker stating, “I’m vaccinated.”   His issue with her? She isn’t wearing a mask.  Now, this post is not about the pros and cons of mask wearing. And in this instance wearing a mask was not mandated in that store.  It’s about his approach and her response.  This man had many choices prior to harassing this woman.  If he was really worried about getting sick he could 1) stay home and order on line or 2) avoided being near the woman.  Interestingly enough he didn’t seem to be doing any of his own shopping.  It appeared he was there to “catch” people without a mask.  

What does this have to do with being a Christian?  What does it have to do with being resolute in Christ?  Our choices each and every minute of the day define what type of Christian we have chosen to be.

In our verse today we are reminded to be kind to everyone.  To teach gently without resentment.  We are all most likely familiar with the term being a “Karen.”  That’s someone who is a tattle tell, a modern day Pharisee.  This man was being a Karen.  And he certainly wasn’t succeeding in teaching anyone anything positive.  Yet the new social norms say this is ok.  We are to vilify those with whom we disagree.  We may not all be Westboro Baptist Church members standing outside the funerals of homosexuals with messages of hatred but how many of us in the last year have made disparaging remarks about people who 1) don’t wear a mask or do wear a mask, 2) aren’t vaccinated, 3) voted for a different candidate, 4) don’t like shutdowns or do like shutdowns, and on and on. I’m not talking about private conversations with friends or family members.  I’m talking about in public and social media.  I’ve clicked on people’s profiles who have written horrible things and they proudly state they are Christians.

And the woman?  She wasn’t successful either.  She just kept arguing with the man.  She could’ve 1) smiled and moved on since he wasn’t physically threatening her 2) put a mask on to make him feel better 3) left the store and come back later 4) called security 5) invited him over to talk.   So many choices for both.  But they chose the least peaceful route.

I, myself, have gotten wrapped up in issues and have deleted comments I realized were not in keeping with my desire to walk well in my faith.   And so, I reflect back on that cell phone video taken in Target.  I ask myself which person in that video am I?  The Harasser?  The Victim?  The Bystander?  In fact, I’ve been all three.  But as a follower of Christ, I’m learning He wants something completely different of us.  He wants us to be the peacemaker.  He wants us to do things so different that it shocks people.  Our Jesus–directed actions in this quarrelsome world need to be set apart.

When we get annoyed, outraged, hurt, abused, Jesus tells us to respond differently.   He first wants us to be responsible for our own words and actions (James 3:6).  He then wants us to be gentle, not angry and resentful.  Truth doled out without love will never be received how we intended.  

I picture myself the subtle Karen, rolling my eyes at people wearing two masks as they walk outside at a park and I need to stop and have compassion for their fears.  I imagine myself in a store being spoken to harshly by a customer for not wearing a mask and instead of responding in kind, draw on the Holy Spirit asking for peace.  This isn’t just about these current large issues.  It’s how we respond in all life’s situations.  Do we lash out, with uncontrolled emotions, seeking to justify how we feel?  Or do we use wisdom and compassion to guide us?

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  James 1:19-20

The temptation is so great to join this new quarrelsome social environment.  It’s easy to blast a comment at someone.  The devil loves an angry Believer.  But if we remember that Jesus stands by our side, we can be resolute in living the Christian life He expects of us.

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Change Maker

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Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 2 Corinthians 7:1

Like everyone else on this blue planet I’ve had my share of relationship problems.  From friends to family and love relationships to work ones I’ve had my share of angry words and uncomfortable silences.  In the past, I would rush in to trying to solve whatever problem had arisen.  I couldn’t allow a quiet, cooling down period.  I needed to work out the disagreement right now.  I tried using my own solutions –whether it meant apologizing, arguing my point, denigrating myself, or even pretending nothing happened.

When I finally started taking my most important relationship seriously all that changed.  When I placed God above everything in my life it helped to prioritize all my other relationships.  It also meant I turned to God in seeking solutions to interpersonal interactions. 

I recently have been turning to God about a friendship that has had its ups and downs.  Instead of fretting over it and attacking it with my old gusto, I’ve given it over to the Almighty.  I’m asking Him to let me know when to speak and when to stay silent.  When to apologize and when to stand firm.  And I have found His solutions to be so different than ones I would’ve dreamed up. His solutions have love for others first and foremost.

Today I praise God for being a change maker.  For taking us broken, imperfect beings and turning our lives upside down.  When I started taking Him seriously, He started making some serious changes in me.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.  James 4:7-10

Besides the amazing gift of salvation, the promise that we are changed is quite possibly one of the greatest “selling points” of believing in Jesus Christ.  My old way of doing things?  It caused me a lot of heartache, despair, worry, and loneliness.  And when we truly accept that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior we can’t help but be changed. We need to embrace it, ask for more of it, and look in anticipation for it!

Recently, after an interaction with a difficult person, I drove home praising God and giving Him all the glory.  I said, “Thank God you have changed me Lord!  Thank God I’m not the person I used to be!” Instead of angry, unattractive thoughts, I could only think of how good God is and how much He loves me.

I’m still working on my relationship with our amazing Triune God.  But I know that when I get that right I can look forward to getting a lot of other things right.  There’s so much that still needs to be changed in me and I know Jesus is the just the man for the job.