Did you miss part one? Click here!
I knew the mistake as soon as I made it. But it was too late. I gave my consent and the ball began to roll. I knew the mistake I had made because for the last few years I’d heard the advice I disregarded over and over in my church home group. Ask God first. Not during, not after, but first. And here I was doing the exact opposite of that good advice. I kicked myself for still being what is called a “baby Christian.” Knowing the Word and knowing the wisdom dispensed therein but not living it out.
I’ve mentioned this unwise situation in which I placed myself in past posts. However, when I was pondering the “most unwise decision I ever made” this kept coming to mind. Mostly because of the pain and suffering it caused me and my family, even to this day.
You see, about 11 years ago, I begrudgingly agreed to be my kids’ elementary school PTA president. For a year prior, I told the PTA board I would not be president. It wasn’t my lack of ability that held me back because I knew I could do the job. No, instead I warned the board that they weren’t ready for my leadership style. Big changes were ahead for the school which meant big changes for the parent-teacher association. We would need to adapt and change in ways I knew would make people very uncomfortable.
At the time my Christian faith consisted of going to church occasionally, hosting a home group, and not much else. I wasn’t closely tethered to the Lord. I hadn’t gained the wisdom necessary to handle political and interpersonal conflict graciously and with self-control. On the other hand, I was organized, comfortable with leading, and skilled at creative solutions. I knew how to get things done.
As that year wound down and the nominating committee kept pestering me, I found myself resigned to being the only one willing to step into the role of president. So, late one evening I heard my voice telling a person over the phone, “Yes.” As soon as I hung up, I realized I hadn’t sought out the one opinion I needed most, God’s.
For the next two years my family’s life was filled with endless meetings, long phone calls, strife, and an absent mother. When I wasn’t physically occupied with the details of this volunteer job, I was absent mentally. At home, I cried frequently and raged about problem parents. I’m sure there were some good times sprinkled in between. But those memories have been squeezed out.
It’s not that I believe that had I prayed, the Lord would have told me “no.” It’s that if I had gotten a “yes” after praying it would have put a completely different spin on the entire experience. Had I taken all that wise advice I would have kept close to the Lord those two years and been at peace, even during times of trouble.
"Whoever keeps a command will know no evil thing, and the wise heart will know the proper time and the just way." Ecclesiastes 8:5
It’s one thing to seek wisdom, as we saw in the last post, but it’s another to actually use that wisdom every day in our lives. What would it look like in your life to heed the advice of say a Christian whom you trust? The advice of your pastor? The advice given in your Bible study or devotional? The advice spread throughout the Bible?
"Then the king said to me, “What are you requesting?” So I prayed to the God of heaven. 5And I said to the king, “If it pleases the king, and if your servant has found favor in your sight, that you send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers' graves, that I may rebuild it.” Nehemiah 2:4-5
Nehemiah was desperate to see to the rebuilding of the second temple. A noble venture for sure. Just like me stepping up to lead our PTA. But, he also knew if he went behind the king’s back there would surely be trouble. You can see tucked in the verse the most important step he took – “So I prayed to the God of the heavens.” And the right words came out of his mouth to the king.
Some sources suggest that the average person makes an eye-popping 35,000 choices per day. Assuming that most people spend around seven hours per day sleeping and thus blissfully choice-free, that makes roughly 2,000 decisions per hour or one decision every two seconds.
Eva M. Krockow Ph.D., Psychology Today
Is it possible to ask God to impart His wisdom for each and every one of those seemingly small decisions? Maybe not, but we can wake each day and ask Him to direct our steps through the Holy Spirit. He gives us that nudge, that convicting tap on our shoulder, that encouragement throughout our day.
Too often, however, when we seek to make decisions about life, we seek only knowledge. And knowledge is not wisdom. Knowledge is data, facts, numbers. Wisdom is experience and life.
“Our knowledge is a receding mirage in an expanding desert of ignorance.”
Historian Will Durant, Store of Civilization
One thing I always admired about the disciples is how many questions they asked Jesus. Although Peter seemed to rely on his own knowledge so often, we get to see him use not only his experiential wisdom and the wisdom imparted by Jesus as he grew more and more faithful. From Peter thinking he needed to defend Jesus in the garden by attacking the soldier, to denying his association to Jesus, he reflected us all. We know better than the Almighty God. We know how best to defend ourselves, how to protect ourselves. When it all fails, we become destitute and hopefully turn to the Lord.
How many times have you found yourself spiritually or emotionally destitute because you didn’t heed good advice or even seek it? Wouldn’t it be nice to turn to God first? To hear the Holy Spirit whisper to us and heed the good advice?
“For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,
though a person may be weighed down by misery.
7 Since no one knows the future,
who can tell someone else what is to come? Ecclesiastes 8:6-7
Experiential wisdom is gained in its proper time and procedure. Which is why we all should be leery when people say a young person has an “old soul.” An “old soul” is one that has been on the battlefield of life and has come out with a few scars.
I started paying attention to my own prayer life and the results thereof. I went from praying after a decision for God to help it not be a bad one (like running the PTA) to praying in the midst of the process. Finally, I’ve stopped myself so many times lately and said, “I need to pray first.” It might be a quick prayer about something seemingly insignificant. Or it might be a few days, seeking God’s counsel. And surprisingly, this whole wisdom seeking works pretty good. I can now enjoy my decisions.
Friend, let’s be honest, we can never know all the “right answers.” If we wait until we have them all you will never take any forward steps. For some, that keeps them from putting their trust in God. Because they haven’t gotten all the answers cleared up about the mysteries. We have to be ok with trusting that God is the Almighty Creator and He hasn’t imparted us with all the facts He has about life. We have to be ok with asking Him for help and being satisfied with what He gives us.
“.. then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out.” Ecclesiastes 8:17
Being ok with not knowing everything but acting wisely is not ignorance as some might accuse the Christian. We can and should rest peacefully in knowing what we need to know. And living our lives out with wisdom, peace, joy and goodness the information we do know — That God is a god who loves us and teaches us and will never leave us. He is a god who seeks us and wants us to live forever in His Holy Kingdom!
“Though a sinner does evil a hundred times and prolongs his life, yet I know that it will be well with those who fear God, because they fear before him. 13But it will not be well with the wicked, neither will he prolong his days like a shadow, because he does not fear before God.” Ecclesiastes 8:12-13
When we first, seek God, then seek His wisdom for our life, and finally live out that wisdom each and every day “it will be well.” We can watch and be at peace when the unwise, godless people around us make bad or even evil decisions. We pray for them that they would know God, who can give them a new life.
We all need wise people around us who fear the Lord first. We all need to use their wisdom and our experiential wisdom each day so we can enjoy our life especially in times of trouble. Let’s start by placing God as our most Holy Rabbi front and center.