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Lord, I Cry Out for Mercy

First published September 17, 2020 as part of the His Works Project series.

She was rarely “late.”  With each passing day she began to worry more.  She and her boyfriend knew better but they were young, just 15 and 16.  They frequently met up for sex while his mother was at work.  And they didn’t use protection.  So, five days after she should’ve started her period, she found herself sitting on the toilet, with a small Tupperware bowl waiting to catch her urine.  She had never been to a clinic before and had called to see if they could do a pregnancy test.  As she sat there, she prayed.  

She wasn’t a church-goer.  In fact, her parents never spoke of God.  Yet she regularly was moved to pray.  She didn’t know what it meant to trust God or receive justification through faith in Jesus.  She just knew she needed to pray.  She had prayed for a lot of things over the years.  For her mom to stop hitting her.  For her dad to speak to her.  For her brother to stop tormenting her.  She didn’t know if God was listening but she kept praying. 

As she sat there praying for mercy – because that’s what would have to happen – she swore she would change her ways.  She made empty promises, begging to not be pregnant. And just as she began to capture a sample, her period started.  God had not only granted her mercy but also mercy on her potential child.  For had she been pregnant she most assuredly would have aborted it.

That girl was me.  I didn’t deserve His mercy.  I was regularly living in sin and creating my own rules, my own false sense of ‘righteousness.’  I deserved the punishment.  I deserved to have to face a difficult choice and live with it for the rest of my life.  But He showed mercy. For 39 years, I’ve remembered that day as if it were yesterday. But how many times have I failed to show others that same mercy?

“Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.  Mercy triumphs over judgement.” James 2:12-13

I recently listened to a podcast about refusing to settle for mediocrity. It prompted me to examine how well I understood the words we Christians use so often. We sit in church, listen to podcasts, and read devotionals, but how often do we hear theological terms without fully understanding them? So I started a list.

  • Righteousness: living in a way that reflects God’s truth through our words and actions.
  • Sanctification: the process by which the Holy Spirit molds us into the image of Jesus.
  • Justification: being declared righteous before God through faith in Jesus Christ.
  • Grace: simply put, God’s favor and kindness toward us.
  • Mercy: not receiving the punishment we deserve.

Writing these definitions gave me a clearer understanding of the amazing work God does in us through His Holy Spirit. But most of all, I kept coming back to mercy.  I understood that God forgives us each time we fall into the traps of sin.  We all have been in the situation Paul lamented when he wrote the following:

“Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.  What a wretched man I am!” Romans 7:21-24

Each and every day we find ourselves sinning – worried about money, hoarding our gifts, being judgmental and unkind to others, unforgiving of our loved ones or even strangers.  Gossiping, stealing, or even hating or causing injury to others.  There is only one being to have ever walked this earth that didn’t need God’s grace, forgiveness and mercy – Jesus.

Charles Spurgeon wrote in his prayer “Deliver Us From Evil” about mercy:

“We come for mercy, great God.  It must always be our first request, for we have sinned against a just and holy law of which our consciences approve.  We are evil, but Your law is holy and just and good.  We have offended knowingly.”

I knew having sex outside of marriage was wrong.  I knew having unprotected sex outside of marriage was stupid.  And yet I did it time after time.  God gifted me with mercy over and over.  He also gifted me with mercy when He delivered the right man to me to become my husband.  I didn’t deserve him.  I was a mess.  After 31 years of marriage I still thank God my husband has stuck with me as I unlearn old patterns from when I was outside of God’s justification. And I know now, it’s time for me to pick up my part of the bargain.

“Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7

I’m grateful that God flipped this admonition.  He has done it with so many of us.  He has shown us the mercy we didn’t deserve.  We need to pass that glorious gift along to others.  There are those in our lives that we hope to fail, that we wish ill will, that we hope will “get their just due.”  Aren’t we thankful that God doesn’t think the same about us?

For about two years I worked as a substitute in a high school office. There were two positions like mine. When the other position was filled with a young woman I was encouraged by her enthusiasm.  She was full of ideas and brought a cheery face to the job.  And then she started being late every day.  At times she wouldn’t even show up.  When she did show up, I would find her on Facebook or on personal phone calls.  Her failings impacted my job.  I became bitter because, hey, I was just a substitute.  Why should I have to make up for her issues when she was an actual employee?  I found myself driving to work dreading what was to come.  I actually prayed she would get hit by a bus so I wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore.  Yes, I did that.

The situation became so difficult that I considered quitting, but doing so would have left people I cared about in a bind. Three months in, I sat at an intersection on the way to work.  It was a long red light.  The Holy Spirit descended on me in the car.  I had my Perspective Change Moment.  What I should have been doing all along was praying for God to intervene positively in her life.  I could have left her to do two people’s jobs and/or complain endlessly to the supervisor, but I needed to show mercy and love.  So, I prayed every day for the next week that God would resolve the problem.  For God to help her.  For God to take control.  The peace that came over me was amazing!

After that one week she resigned.  And a good friend of mine who had been a finalist for the job previously was hired.  God is good.  God is forgiving.  God, thankfully, is merciful.

To quote the explorer Christopher Columbus, “I am a most noteworthy sinner, but I have cried out to the Lord for grace and mercy, and He has covered me completely.  I have found the sweetest consolation since I made it my whole purpose to enjoy His marvelous presence.”

To whom do you need to show mercy?  How has God been merciful to you?

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Not Our Own

If you live in the United States you know all about the importance of Fall and Winter Sundays. Sure we go to church and worship and praise the Lord. But today so many Americans also attend a second service. It’s held in giant stadiums or enjoyed from the comfort of our homes or restaurants. Yes, my friends, fall Sundays are, for so many, a chance to scream and yell and whoop it up over American football. Their favorite teams and players take to the gridiron in a clashing of bodies for the ultimate victory — helping a small, brown, weirdly shaped ball find its way to what is called the end zone. It’s a physical game played by tough men. It’s a game where season ending injuries are a regular occurrence and minor mistakes can lead to embarrassing failures.

The fans, like so many sports fans, can be adoring when you are very good. And they can be terrifyingly brutal when you aren’t playing your best. If you are not tethered to something else more important than the game you can be in danger of losing your very self.

“When you have a ‘why,’ you can endure everything and I think when your faith is strong, when you understand what’s going on in your life… you just turn to God and surrender. For me, that was the biggest weight off my back was that word — surrender. You’re not in control as much as you think you are and that’s a gift.”

Christian McCaffrey, running back for the San Francisco 49ers football team

McCaffrey is just one of many professional athletes who, when they stand in front of a microphone with hoards of media types staring at them, they give all honor and glory to God. Not just for their physical success but for their failures. While most of us will never be professional athletes we all can find ways we place our body’s successes and failures too high in importance in our lives. “I’m too fat, I’m too weak, I’m not tall enough” are some of the ways we beat ourselves to death. Then there’s the need to make ourselves sexy or brawny or literally into someone else via plastic surgery.

“For good or for evil, the body lies right at the center of the spiritual life….It is a fact that the body usually hinders people in doing what they know to be good and right.”

Dallas Willard in his bestselling Christian book, Renovation of the Heart.

The use of our bodies becomes not just a physical thing but as it matures it increasingly takes on the quality of our inner life. Paul, himself in Romans 7 says he finds himself doing things he “hates.”

You see he makes a point to say, “in my flesh.” That’s his body, our bodies. We use our bodies to achieve sensual pleasures beyond God’s desire for us. We use our tongues to destroy others. We even use our facial features and our posture to make it clear how we really feel about a situation. Some of us physically lash out in anger. While others find ways to manipulate with tears or a quivering lip. An increasing number of young people believe if their body doesn’t make them feel complete then something must be wrong with it — causing them to undergo painful, life altering surgeries.

My friends, while we have been led to believe that “my body, myself” is the truth by society it couldn’t be farther from it. It’s why there’s such a great divide in the abortion issue. One side says, “It’s my body to do with it how I please. Having sex outside marriage is pleasing to me. Suffering the consequences, is not.” Whereas, Christians must see our bodies as that living sacrifice — giving all honor and glory to God. As Willard reminds us, none of us have created our own bodies. None of us could care for our bodies for many years. And no matter how much we want to believe it, our bodies are not self-sufficient still.

We are stewards of our bodies. But that doesn’t mean we alone have the right to say what is to be done with them. We don’t own our bodies, God does. Every single body, believer or not. He decided the day and time our entrance to the world. And He alone will decide our exit from this earth. He created our bodies for His plan, not ours.

So, whether we are professional athletes playing a sport, or we wake up each morning for work, or play, in times of illness or strength, we must seek to glorify Him by surrendering our bodies to Him wholly in worship. When we succeed in our physical tasks, say out loud that it is all for His glory. When we seemingly fail, say out loud that you trust in Him, trust His plan. And remember, you are living this life for an audience of One.

Here’s a few tips from Dallas Willard on the spiritual formation of our bodies:

  1. You must actually release your body to God. It won’t happen by accident. Be intentional remembering it is scriptural teaching.
  2. Take a day in silent and solitary retreat. Quiet your mind and soul.
  3. Ask God to take charge of your body. Pray on each actual part of your body.
  4. No longer idolize your body. You care for it only as it serves God’s purposes in your life and the lives of others.
  5. Do not misuse your body. Bodily pleasure is one thing but when it is exalted to a necessity and we become dependent upon it, then we are slaves.
  6. The body is to be properly honored and cared for. Honor a sabbath by practicing solitude and silence. Get plenty of sleep.

May all honor and glory be to God alone. Amen

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To Be The 3rd Man

During the last five years or so I started gaining the dreaded hormonal weight. As a woman over 50 I’ve watched a donut grow around my waist.  Being tall, I can frequently hide this mysterious weight gain but I know it’s there.   So of course, I decided to try and diet my belly away.  I successfully lost weight through a program called Noom, multiple times.  Yes, after about a year of relishing my new body, the weight crept back on.  My second stint with Noom saw the same weight loss and eventual gain.  I constantly blame myself for failing to have enough self-control so I don’t become “fat grandma” instead of “fit grandma.”  And while I do recommend the Noom program – which isn’t really a diet at all but rather a healthier way of looking at food – it lacks one feature that would make it complete.  God.

The Christian way of self-control is not “Just say no!” The problem is with the word “just.” You don’t just say no. You say no in a certain way: You say no by faith in the superior power and pleasure of Christ. It is just as ruthless. And may be just as painful. But the difference between worldly self-control and godly self-control is crucial. Who will get the glory for victory? That’s the issue. Will we get the glory? Or will Christ get the glory? If we exercise self-control by faith in Christ’s superior power and pleasure, Christ will get the glory.”

John Piper, The Fierce Fruit of Self-Control

How many times in your life have you sought to abstain or control a behavior that is destructive or just isn’t serving you well by thinking, “I just need to say no!” ?  And yet over and over you fail.  Sometimes in little bits and sometimes with flair.  It seems the one thing we tell ourselves over and over not to do is exactly what we find ourselves doing.  But take heart, we are not alone.

“ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” Romans 7:15-20

Paul, we feel your pain.  He sounds exactly like the second type of man that C.S. Lewis describes in his essay about the three types of man.  The one we looked at in the last post who has a divided mind.  Thankfully, Paul does not leave us in this fretful state.  He makes a right turn into Mr. Lewis’ third man.

“Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” ….” Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. Romans 7:24-25 & 8:1-2

A life free from sin, death and I might add, shame.  Sounds like a pretty good place to be, doesn’t it?  How do we get there?  How do we stop being double-minded, trying to put our weight on that wobbly rock and instead on the only solid rock we need?  First, by declaring Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  And secondly, turning our entire life over to Him.

You see, the third man in Mr. Lewis’ essay has done something violent.  They have fiercely killed their old self.  All their time, their thoughts, their actions, emotions, belong to God which means it also belongs to them because they are His.  It is a daily choice to submit their all to Him.  This man is joyfully obedient, not sullenly dragged to do good.

The abundant life is a choice you make day by day to embrace God who created you to be.  Becoming the masterpiece God formed you to be is a lifelong process, but it is worth it because of the beautiful, unique reflection you become of your Savior.”  

Charles Stanley, God’s Purpose for Your Life

The first time I realized the cycle of failure in not including God in seeking a better, fruit-filled life was when I attempted to stop cursing.  Throughout my day I told myself to not curse.  Of course, I found myself doing it more!  My thoughts were placed on the wobbly rock – my own self.  And cursing was what was on my mind.  It wasn’t until I placed them in the Holy Spirit’s hands that I found success.  When in trigger situations I turned to God, even for a brief moment.  “What would He want out of me right now? Anger or love?”

“For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13

Friend, just as in all the other Fruits of the Spirit, biblical self-control is not the same as the world’s.  The world says, “Try harder.  And when you fail, sit in shame.”  God, on the other hand, assumes you cannot be the only member in this fight of wills.   He tells us to put on our full armor – His Word, salvation, peace, truth, the righteousness gifted to you, and the shield of faith.  We take this armor and call it trust.  Trusting in the only solid rock that can hold our weight and get us safely to the other side of the river.  

When you see the words “self-control,” don’t jump to all the things you contemplated in your personal inventory and think, “I can fix this.”  Instead, drop to your knees and cry out to the Holy Spirit for help.  As the two of you begin a new life and new self together you will find your “have to’s” turning in to “get to’s.”  Your new self allows the light of the Lord to shine on all areas of your heart and mind. 

For me, I stop thinking about cursing and turn to love and kindness and gentleness.  For others they stop being angry and unforgiving and experience patience and peace and joy.  We stop obsessing over our needs, for our bodies, our hearts and minds and instead ask God what He wants of us.  In other words, we stop growing weeds and start blooming and living a full Christian life.

Thank you for joining me on this journey through the Fruit of the Spirit! Be sure to follow the blog to receive your notice about the next series!

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;  idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:19-25