First published September 17, 2020 as part of the His Works Project series.
She was rarely “late.” With each passing day she began to worry more. She and her boyfriend knew better but they were young, just 15 and 16. They frequently met up for sex while his mother was at work. And they didn’t use protection. So, five days after she should’ve started her period, she found herself sitting on the toilet, with a small Tupperware bowl waiting to catch her urine. She had never been to a clinic before and had called to see if they could do a pregnancy test. As she sat there, she prayed.
She wasn’t a church-goer. In fact, her parents never spoke of God. Yet she regularly was moved to pray. She didn’t know what it meant to trust God or receive justification through faith in Jesus. She just knew she needed to pray. She had prayed for a lot of things over the years. For her mom to stop hitting her. For her dad to speak to her. For her brother to stop tormenting her. She didn’t know if God was listening but she kept praying.
As she sat there praying for mercy – because that’s what would have to happen – she swore she would change her ways. She made empty promises, begging to not be pregnant. And just as she began to capture a sample, her period started. God had not only granted her mercy but also mercy on her potential child. For had she been pregnant she most assuredly would have aborted it.
That girl was me. I didn’t deserve His mercy. I was regularly living in sin and creating my own rules, my own false sense of ‘righteousness.’ I deserved the punishment. I deserved to have to face a difficult choice and live with it for the rest of my life. But He showed mercy. For 39 years, I’ve remembered that day as if it were yesterday. But how many times have I failed to show others that same mercy?
“Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement.” James 2:12-13
I recently listened to a podcast about refusing to settle for mediocrity. It prompted me to examine how well I understood the words we Christians use so often. We sit in church, listen to podcasts, and read devotionals, but how often do we hear theological terms without fully understanding them? So I started a list.
- Righteousness: living in a way that reflects God’s truth through our words and actions.
- Sanctification: the process by which the Holy Spirit molds us into the image of Jesus.
- Justification: being declared righteous before God through faith in Jesus Christ.
- Grace: simply put, God’s favor and kindness toward us.
- Mercy: not receiving the punishment we deserve.
Writing these definitions gave me a clearer understanding of the amazing work God does in us through His Holy Spirit. But most of all, I kept coming back to mercy. I understood that God forgives us each time we fall into the traps of sin. We all have been in the situation Paul lamented when he wrote the following:
“Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am!” Romans 7:21-24
Each and every day we find ourselves sinning – worried about money, hoarding our gifts, being judgmental and unkind to others, unforgiving of our loved ones or even strangers. Gossiping, stealing, or even hating or causing injury to others. There is only one being to have ever walked this earth that didn’t need God’s grace, forgiveness and mercy – Jesus.
Charles Spurgeon wrote in his prayer “Deliver Us From Evil” about mercy:
“We come for mercy, great God. It must always be our first request, for we have sinned against a just and holy law of which our consciences approve. We are evil, but Your law is holy and just and good. We have offended knowingly.”
I knew having sex outside of marriage was wrong. I knew having unprotected sex outside of marriage was stupid. And yet I did it time after time. God gifted me with mercy over and over. He also gifted me with mercy when He delivered the right man to me to become my husband. I didn’t deserve him. I was a mess. After 31 years of marriage I still thank God my husband has stuck with me as I unlearn old patterns from when I was outside of God’s justification. And I know now, it’s time for me to pick up my part of the bargain.
“Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7
I’m grateful that God flipped this admonition. He has done it with so many of us. He has shown us the mercy we didn’t deserve. We need to pass that glorious gift along to others. There are those in our lives that we hope to fail, that we wish ill will, that we hope will “get their just due.” Aren’t we thankful that God doesn’t think the same about us?
For about two years I worked as a substitute in a high school office. There were two positions like mine. When the other position was filled with a young woman I was encouraged by her enthusiasm. She was full of ideas and brought a cheery face to the job. And then she started being late every day. At times she wouldn’t even show up. When she did show up, I would find her on Facebook or on personal phone calls. Her failings impacted my job. I became bitter because, hey, I was just a substitute. Why should I have to make up for her issues when she was an actual employee? I found myself driving to work dreading what was to come. I actually prayed she would get hit by a bus so I wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore. Yes, I did that.
The situation became so difficult that I considered quitting, but doing so would have left people I cared about in a bind. Three months in, I sat at an intersection on the way to work. It was a long red light. The Holy Spirit descended on me in the car. I had my Perspective Change Moment. What I should have been doing all along was praying for God to intervene positively in her life. I could have left her to do two people’s jobs and/or complain endlessly to the supervisor, but I needed to show mercy and love. So, I prayed every day for the next week that God would resolve the problem. For God to help her. For God to take control. The peace that came over me was amazing!
After that one week she resigned. And a good friend of mine who had been a finalist for the job previously was hired. God is good. God is forgiving. God, thankfully, is merciful.
To quote the explorer Christopher Columbus, “I am a most noteworthy sinner, but I have cried out to the Lord for grace and mercy, and He has covered me completely. I have found the sweetest consolation since I made it my whole purpose to enjoy His marvelous presence.”
To whom do you need to show mercy? How has God been merciful to you?
