forgiven

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The Healing Power of Forgiveness

October 26, 2026October 14, 2026 krisshetter

^{First published June 13, 2022 as part of the Lessons from Cherith series.}

^“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Matthew 18:21

He’d been a drug addict and alcoholic for at least the 35 years I knew him. In fact, this lost uncle was my husband’s main reason for why he never touched drugs in his college days. My husband saw the path of destruction his uncle created throughout their family. This uncle, my mother-in-law’s youngest sibling, took the road so many addicts follow. They demand help, make others feel guilty for not rescuing them, promise to do better, then start the cycle over and over again.

In my visits to my husband’s hometown, we’d have infrequent contact with his uncle. But we would hear of his begging his own mother for money and complaining of how “lucky” and “privileged” everyone else in the family were because they weren’t always so down on their luck. To be fair, this man carried wounds from being the youngest child of an alcoholic and unfaithful father. As for my in-laws, they gave money, moral support, food, and more for much of his life. But after a number of run-ins with the law and intolerable behavior toward my husband’s grandmother, the uncle found himself eventually with backs turned. Enough was enough.

^“Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:22

Let’s face it, we are only human. We get our feelings hurt. We often seek to protect ourselves from harmful relationships. We don’t want to be taken advantage of and have our kindness thrown back at us with vitriol. Like many of Jesus’ expectations for us, the concept of forgiveness is not easy for our sinful human nature. We reach the end of our rope. We feel as though we have no tears left to shed.

I remember when my loving, caring mother-in-law said to me one day a few years ago, “I’m done. I’m tired of being blamed for his problems. I’m tired of being taken for granted that we will always help. I’m angry how he treats our mother.” And honestly, could anyone blame her? But the thing is, I knew deep down she didn’t mean any of it. I knew if her brother came again with hat in hand she would help. Because she knew that Jesus would do the same for her.

^“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

We can be thankful that God has not assigned us the role He gave prophets like Elijah, who were called to proclaim judgment. Throughout the Old Testament, God’s people repeatedly turned away from Him despite countless warnings. Yet alongside His warnings came opportunities for repentance. Ultimately, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, not only to proclaim truth but to offer forgiveness and reconciliation. Through Him, we learn that when we seek forgiveness and extend it to others, we experience the healing grace of God.

Jesus does not only desire healing for those who need forgiveness. He also desires healing for those doing the forgiving. When we honestly examine our own lives, we quickly realize how much we ourselves need mercy. We all come before God with empty hands, asking, “One more time, Lord. Please forgive me.” And by His grace, He does.

I’ve been fortunate to witness the healing power of forgiveness in a few people’s lives. My friend Andrea will forever be changed simply by forgiving a family member for past hurts and asking for forgiveness for how she has hurt others. My own relationship with my parents has required me to forgive them. And although the situation can still be painful, I now have the healing strength which forgiveness affords to help me pray for them each day.

^“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

I started this message about a man so broken from addiction. A man who most would say was without hope, without the peace from God. But God is a miracle worker as we all know. So, after another stint in prison about a year ago, my husband’s uncle finally said, “Enough is enough.” He turned to God for forgiveness and healing. When he got the news that his oldest sister was now riddled with cancer he came immediately to be by her side.

We met in the hospital lobby, just the two of us. His eyes were clear, he looked healthy, and there was a peace about him I had never seen before. I took him up to his sister’s room and we sat and chatted. I felt like I should leave the room and give them some alone time when suddenly he took her by the hand and with tears streaming down his face he asked for forgiveness. He asked to be forgiven for the destruction he caused, the pain, and for all the lost years that could’ve been different.

I don’t know if I’ll ever again witness such a beautiful miracle, seeing God’s grace and love transform a room before my eyes.

My mother-in-law thanked him immediately. She said, “I needed to hear this. It hurt so much when you blamed me for your troubles.” And they wept. For the next two weeks I witnessed this man stand guard outside her room, praying and participating in her last days. I listened as he asked the rest of the family for forgiveness. And saw them weep from the healing love of God. I watched as he helped lift his sister’s lifeless body onto the gurney for her final road toward home. He was in pain but was healed. He was washed in sorrow but cleansed from forgiveness. And he knew he was loved.

Who do you need to forgive right now?

Who do you need to ask for forgiveness?

It’s time for healing.

Antique brass balance scale with metal weights on one side and a stone heart on the other

God Is Just—So We Can Forgive

May 15, 2026May 13, 2026 krisshetter

“Many seek an audience with a ruler, but it is from the Lord that one gets justice.” – Proverbs 29:26

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19

Back in 2009, 14-year old Amber Dubois disappeared walking to school one morning in a town to the north of me. There were few clues as to her whereabouts. She was even considered by some in law enforcement to have been a runaway. But in less than a year, another teenager, Chelsea King, a 17-year old from an even closer town, disappeared while on a training run. Many of us joined search parties that seemed to last for days. Chelsea’s brutal killer was finally captured when, while evading police, he sat down for a meal at a local Mexican restaurant. The waitress recognized him from news reports as a person of interest.

Thankfully for Amber’s mother, Chelsea’s murderer confessed to both killings and revealed Amber’s location. A story that all too often happens across the world today. Young women brutalized and left for dead by evil people.

I share this story because when the killer was brought before the courts both sets of parents shared something which shocked many. Something that without knowing a just God would be difficult to accept.

“I got the answers about her last moments that I wanted … I forgave him because I had another daughter to raise, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to live,” said Amber’s mother, Carrie Cave. But it wasn’t only her who forgave the man, Chelsea’s parents did as well.

Limits To Forgiveness?

About a year later while I was in a church home group, we discussed the Christian idea of forgiveness. These terrible murders became the topic. One member stated emphatically, “I think they’re lying (the parents). There is absolutely no way they can or I could forgive that man. Ever.” Yet Jesus, while bleeding and beaten, in agonizing pain on the cross looked down at His tormentors and murders and pleaded with God.

“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” — Luke 23:34

So how is it that as believers we can forgive the slights, the maliciousness, the cruel or even the evil done to us or those we love? How can we forgive when we have been wronged by a friend, a spouse or family member? We forgive because we should know in our hearts that God is just. He has forgiven us all our slights and taunts and disrespect we have done to Him because a sacrifice was made in our place. We aren’t forgiven without a penalty being wrought.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Galatians 6:7

When we forgive, we say two things to God: 1) thank you for forgiving me my sins and 2) I trust that justice will be done. That what a man sows, he will reap. Throughout the Old Testament we see God’s justice in the sacrifices and penance of the Jews. We do wrong, and someone must pay. Our bull escapes and injures someone so He created the penance needed for restoration.

He never asks us to seek vengeance. He reminds us that vengeance is God’s and His alone. Even the death penalty for committing murder was to first be proven by three witnesses beyond reproach. And the subsequent death for the offender was not to be seen as our justice, but God’s. A purposeful death of one of His own requires the ultimate payment. And forgiveness towards that person on our part never meant excusing evil or removing legal consequences.

All Will Be Judged

One day everyone will stand before God and our lives taken into account. It’s not “kharma” or some tit for tat. If we accept the blood shed for us by Jesus as our covering for sins, our names are written into the Book of Life. If we don’t there’s only one other path – hell. We can argue as to what that might look like for different people, but I can guarantee that it’s not any place we want to be.

Friends, the world’s sense of justice and forgiveness, especially that which we’ve seen emerge in the last 15 years or so, doesn’t really look much like God’s justice. That’s because we are all first children of the evil one, led astray to do works against God’s plan. Black, white, brown, male, female, rich or poor – all of us were dead in our trespasses against Him. All of us were lined up for wrath.

I once slogged my way through Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s, “The Cost of Discipleship.” For much of it you find yourself in a deep study of Jesus’ words on the Sermon on the Mount. With each chapter I would become a bit despondent. Because to truly follow Jesus’ words would be impossible. Just like following the 10 Commandments convicted the Israelites. Bonhoeffer says in his book:

“When we come before God with hearts full of contempt and unreconciled with our neighbors, we are individually and as a congregation worshipping an idol.”

You see without a full and complete submission to our Lord Jesus Christ our lives are filled with unjust, evil thoughts and works. New “social justice” says only the rich or the white man, the straight person or the Christian, commits atrocities and therefore must be punished. But God says we all deserve death. His standard of righteousness and justice is higher than any of ours. Completely unattainable on our own. His mercy towards us in our failures isn’t pretending sin didn’t happen; justice is dealt with by God at the cross or at His judgement seat.

So, when as Christians we say, as the one home group member stated so proudly, we can never forgive someone, how should God then view us if He is a God of justice? When we say the Lord’s prayer do we really believe it? That God will mete out justice to those who not only haven’t sought forgiveness from our Righteous God but also refuse to pass on the forgiveness we have been gifted?

“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us.” — Matthew 6:9-15

A Full Life or A Life Full of Bitterness?

The murder of someone I cherish is something I hope to never experience. Because I know if I do, I’ll be faced with this difficult question. Will I accept that God’s justice is all I need to forgive? As Amber’s mom so rightly pointed out, we need to forgive or else we cannot fully live. And Bonhoeffer says we then worship something other than God.

The unbeliever blinks at us in confusion, thinking we aren’t in pain over what someone has done to us because we forgive. We, however, know God has already forgiven us much and the justice we so crave, if needed one day, will find it at the foot of God’s throne.

“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’” – Revelation 21:4

“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you.” – Psalms 89:14

Jesus walks with his arm around a weary man on a narrow cobblestone street.

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Father of Compassion

April 3, 2026April 2, 2026 krisshetter

“This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.’” Zechariah 7:9

And when Jesus drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! Luke 19:41-42

When was the last time you saw your father, grandfather or maybe husband cry? We women seem to cry all the time – tears of pain, sadness and joy. We cry during commercials and over babies. We weep when our friends or children are struggling. We cry watching the sunset. But men? Sure there’s a few less “stalwart” men who cry but seeing the men in my family cry has been few and far between.

So now grasp the intensity of emotion when three times in the Gospels we read of Jesus weeping. Over Lazarus’ death, in the Garden of Gethsemane while praying to His Father, and in the above verse in Luke 19.

As Jesus approached Jerusalem for what would be His final days He stood looking upon the home of His Father’s temple. He wept knowing of the coming rejection. But more so He wept for what that rejection meant for His people – separation from the Father and the peace that only He can give.

Throughout the stories of the Bible we see God’s compassion for not just His chosen people but the world at large. The second half of His Law, given to Moses and the Israelites, is rife with lessons on compassion for others – a reflection of His for us. The book of Proverbs constantly reminds us of our duties to our neighbors, friends and strangers.

“It is a sin to despise one’s neighbor, but blessed is the one who is kind to the needy.”– Proverbs 14:21

God weeps over our greed, selfishness, lack of kindness, our propensity to argue and war with one another, and our inner turmoil. His compassion for us draws Him near, seeking to give us His peace and love.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

His compassion towards us is what should compel us to show compassion to others. He has forgiven us so much and desires for us so much, how could we not extend it to those likewise in need?

Friend, God grieves over our selfishness, conflict, and inner turmoil, yet His compassion draws Him near. He fills our lives with grace so that it overflows to others. When we recognize how richly we have been loved, we are compelled to share that love—living lives marked by compassion, generosity, and peace.

“God’s love calls me to be kind,
To love the lost, the hurt, the blind.
In His grace, I find my way,
A light that guides me every day.” Unknown Author

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Day 10 Jireh

July 10, 2024July 10, 2024 krisshetter

I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. John 10:9-11

For the Lord is our judge; the Lord is our lawgiver; the Lord is our king; he will save us. Isaiah 33:22

Have you ever wondered why we need a constant intercessor in our lives if Jesus came and did the work of forgiveness for sins on the cross? Why, if I’ve been forgiven, do I need someone to keep taking my repentance to God? I’ve been reading Dane Ortlund’s book, Gentle and Lowly: The heart of Christ for sinners and sufferers. In the margin on one page about intercession I wrote, “Good question!” The answer, written out in subsequent pages was beautiful and revealing. But it’s these short examples which solidified the answer:

Think of an older brother cheering on his younger brother in a track meet. Even if, in that final stretch, the younger brother is well out ahead and will certainly win the race, does the older brother sit back, quiet, complacently satisfied? Not at all — he’s yelling at the top of his lungs exclamations of encouragement, of affirmations, of celebration, of victory, of solidarity. He cannot be quieted. “

Picture a glider, pulled up into the sky by an airplane, soon to be released to float down to earth. We are that glider; Christ is the plane. But He never disengages. He never lets go, wishing us well, hoping we can glide the rest of the way into heaven. He carries us all the way.”

When Jesus calls himself our shepherd He means it for life. Once He gathers us up into His flock he doesn’t stop caring for us, feeding us, protecting us, and cheering us on. We go astray from God’s Law looking for better grass and He calls us back. He provides everything we need until the sun goes down on our life and we are united in heaven. He is continuously bringing us before the Father with joy.

This is a love more than most of us can imagine. He loved us while we were still sinners – because that’s what we still are every single day. And He keeps rinsing us off and standing beside us before a Holy God. He is enough for us. Because He is all we need to stand before God, we can believe we are enough too.

Click here to listen: Jireh

Day 6 All of My Days

July 6, 2024July 5, 2024 krisshetter

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.  Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:10

According to a University of California Irvine study, it takes an average of 23 minutes after having been distracted to get back to the task at hand. Now imagine if that “task at hand” was to stay on the narrow path laid out by Jesus in His famous Sermon on the Mount – “For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life.” Keeping our mind and body focused on the goodness and mercy of God. On how much He loves us. And responding to Him throughout our day in obedience and gratefulness.

There’s never a moment, not ever, that the Lord of all creation has forgotten you. He knows every single thing about you. He has plans and blessings for you; not just for your earthly days but for all eternity.

How often do we, however, forget about God? We aren’t desperate for Him. We don’t think to ask Him to help us. Worse yet, we don’t think He will help us. We get distracted by all the flashing billboards along that narrow path luring us to take the off ramps and spend a little time (or a lot) seeking pleasure or life that fits in so nicely with the rest of the world. Every off ramp leading us further away from His loving arms.

Each time a friend, a pastor, a word here or there, or the Holy Spirit nudges us back to the path you have to wonder, how much time did we waste that could’ve been spent doing His will. Serving someone He wanted us to bless? Or even strengthening us for future trials?

23 minutes each time we are distracted. Add up all those times we chose not to go to church, not read our Bibles, not go to Bible study, not choose the narrow path. I know for me that adds up to a lot of days. Thank goodness for His free flowing mercy!

I spent a lot of years being distracted by the world. But I am forgiven. I’ve joined up with the narrow path. We need to keep our face lifted to the God who loves us all of the rest of our days. Won’t you join me?

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A Useful Servant

March 7, 2022March 7, 2022 krisshetter

If you ever talk to a non-Christian and they give you the line, “The Bible is just some old book written thousands of years ago and society has evolved since then,” you might want to share the story of a slave named Onesimus, which means “Useful.” Not the Onesimus in the book of Philemon – we’ll get to him later. No, the Onesimus of 1716. It shows God’s total sovereignty over this world and how He weaves His way throughout all time. He works through all of us to complete His plan – whether a believer or not. The story of the black slave Onesimus shares striking parallels to the Bible’s slave written of in the New Testament.

Puritan minister Cotton Mather of Boston was gifted a slave by a parishioner in 1711. It’s believed Mather changed the slave’s name to Onesimus. And like Philemon’s slave, Onesimus was considered a liar and a thief by his master. But in 1716, Onesimus told Mr. Mather something he did believe: That he knew how to prevent smallpox. He shared with his master how in his home country people would rub pus from an infected person into an open wound on the arm. This would cause mild symptoms and would inoculate the person against smallpox.

Mather was fascinated. He verified Onesimus’ story with that of other enslaved people. Mather, while attempting to spread this great news during the smallpox epidemic, was vilified. How dare he take the word of a slave? A black slave at that? But Mather pressed on. Combining efforts with physician Zabdiel Boylston, the two inoculated their children and enslaved workers. They then began inoculating other willing Bostonians. Of the 242 people they inoculated, only six died—one in 40, as opposed to one in seven deaths among the population of Boston who didn’t undergo the procedure.

While history doesn’t give much credit for Onesimus being a key part of the development of immunizations, he can be found in the story. Like Naamans’ Jewish slave girl, his desire to be useful and seeking a better relationship with his master saw him sharing a cure for so many.

"It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus— ¹⁰that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. ¹¹Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me." Philemon 1:9-11

How useful are we to God? How are our new beginnings lived out for the world to see the glory and gifts of God? For the Boston slave Onesimus, he appeared to never have accepted his master’s Christian religion. He did, however, buy his own earthly freedom by giving Mather enough money to purchase a different slave. But for the Bible’s Onesimus, who stole from his master and ran away to Rome, his freedom was purchased for him. Once by Jesus, when he, after being discipled by both Philemon and Paul, accepted the Lord as his savior. And his earthly freedom was paid for by Paul who stated, “If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me.” (v 18)

Paul exhibited a great lesson of our faith in Jesus, to stand for those who cannot stand on their own. And in doing so, lived out an example for Philemon to follow. If Philemon believed in what Jesus taught, not just believed “in” Jesus, he knew he must live out the fruits of the spirit – kindness, compassion, forgiveness, grace, etc. This was no small feat. Just as in the world of the 1700s, slaves were a valued commodity. And allowing a slave to run away without punishment was bad enough, but to allow a thieving slave (like both were) to do so was unheard of. Mather suffered public humiliation by accepting his slave as an equal partner in curing a deadly disease. Philemon was certain to suffer the same fate from other slave owners if he accepted Onesimus back as an equal in Christ.

But what about the Bible’s Onesimus? Where does he fit in God’s plan? Notice that our worldly sins and crimes are not erased without any repercussions. Paul did not say Philemon should just welcome Onesimus back with all debts forgiven. A crime had been committed and it needed to be repaid by someone.

Onesimus took a number of steps in his life to become useful to God. He first sought out Paul in Rome when his life had become a mess. He accepted Jesus as his savior. And like the first 3,000 Christians, he sat at the feet of a great teacher to learn about Christ and his expectations of us. He then, apparently, asked to go home and face Philemon, his old master.

¹⁵Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— ¹⁶no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord. Philemon 1: 15-16

We can only imagine the scene of Onesimus and his fellow travelers arriving at Philemon’s door. Hat in hand. A posture of humility most likely. Asking for forgiveness. He became God’s instrument to help others learn how to forgive, how to love, and how being a Christ follower transforms us. My friend Andrea has been the person in my life to model forgiveness. I’ve watched how she has forgiven well-trod hurts and has been eternally grateful for receiving forgiveness. By seeing her transformation, it has helped to transform my heart. She has been very useful to God!

Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12 steps are well known by many. And placed in a Christian context may help some of us to follow in Onesimus’ footsteps to being fully available for God’s purposes. To be “useful” in our new beginning. With a few minor edits, those 12 steps are:

We admitted we were powerless over (sin)—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Come to believe that (God) is greater than ourselves and can restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God (forgive) all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove(/forgive) our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to (all sinners), and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Jesus paid the price to be our intercessor, our kinsman redeemer. We are accepted by Him in full. But it’s now up to us to do the work to live out being acceptable to Christ each and every day with our new beginning.

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Unburdened Your Heart

March 1, 2021February 22, 2021 krisshetter

Lesson #7: Forgiveness of others brings us the blessings of Christ

It is as none other than Paul—an old 
man and now also a prisoner of Christ 
Jesus— that I appeal to you for my son 
Onesimus, who became my son while I was 
in chains. 
Philemon 1:9-10

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness. It keeps popping up in various Bible studies and readings. And when that happens, I realize God is trying to tell me something. So, the other day while in my “She Shed” – where I do my Bible reading and mediation – I just sat and did an inventory of the people in my life and those no longer in it. My question for each face that popped in my head was “Is there something I haven’t forgiven in this relationship?”

There are people whom I actively must work at forgiving. There’s one person in my neighborhood that, each time I see him I need to remind myself I no longer harbor ill feelings toward him. It’s fascinating however, to pay attention to my whole body and mind when he enters my sphere. I remind myself I have forgiven him yet my body wants to remember the hurt feelings. It’s a brief little battle that, thankfully Jesus and the Holy Spirit help me to win. In fact, the last time I saw him I thought it was a different neighbor and I waved. When I realized who it was, I did a mental flip – “Ugh, why did you wave to him of all people? You’re just not supposed to think anything and move along!” But waving gave the impression I was happy to see him. I suddenly realized in my mini battle that it was again the Holy Spirit forcing me to step out of my comfort zone and not just be “neutral” but be kind.

That individual aside, I came to an even greater realization about my need to forgive. These days I can’t think of a greater forgiveness need in me than to forgive my church. Actually, just about all churches who have shuttered their doors during such desperate times.

But let me back up a bit. Today, we jump into the little book of Philemon. Paul, currently imprisoned in Rome, writes to a wealthy Christian friend in Colosse concerning the slave Onesimus. Onesimus took off from Philemon’s household having stolen from him. Onesimus found himself in the company of Paul and was converted. And now Paul humbly asks Philemon to forgive his slave and allow him to return.

I remember as a child my mom talking about converted prisoners. She scoffed at the idea that murderers and thieves could “find Jesus” and change their lives. She thought it was all just a ploy to get out of jail earlier or to garner forgiveness without truly repenting. And she may be right in some cases. Who is to know the heart of a sinner but God?

I wonder if Philemon thought the same? To Onesimus’ benefit he had the great apostle Paul standing up for him. How often have we held out forgiving someone because they didn’t meet our list of requirements for forgiveness? The person in my neighborhood that I must remind myself to forgive frequently? He hasn’t ever asked me for forgiveness. He’s never acted in a way that showed he even knows he needs my forgiveness.

My church, who locked their doors and turned me away from praying at the outdoor steps of the sanctuary, doesn’t see any need for me to forgive them. The elders and pastor who either ignored my pleas for help or worse, said hurtful things, have not asked for forgiveness. So why should I forgive them? Why should Philemon forgive a man to whom he gave so much and then stole from him?

I once was in a discussion about forgiveness during a Bible study. The leader, who also was an elder in the church, said to the group, “You can’t forgive someone unless they have paid a price or asked for forgiveness.” (There’s that Biblical truth issue popping up!) Now, I’m working on my path from being a “baby Christian” to a mature one but even I know that’s just not sound Jesus teaching.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive 
my brother or sister who sins against 
me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, 
“I tell you, not seven times, but 
seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:21-22

The thing I like about this conversation in Matthew is he deals with a real world situation. So many of us keep doing things that need forgiveness from others. And Jesus says to keep on forgiving – each and every time.

I was reading about forgiveness and came across this list of spiritual characteristics of someone who forgives:

Concern for his place with God
Concern for people
Concern for fellowship
Concern for knowledge
Concern for glory
Concern for blessing

My response to the Bible study leader was that if her “rules” about forgiveness were true then how can we forgive people who have already died but negatively impacted our lives? Or how can we forgive people that either don’t have anything to do with us anymore or have no idea they did something wrong? Under her idea so many of us would live with a horrible burden of pain and hurt and anger. And Jesus doesn’t want that for us. He wants to shower us with that glory and those blessings listed in the “forgiver characteristics.”

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25

Against anyone – for any reason. But the most important part of the forgiveness lesson? “So that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” I want to be forgiven because I know I have a lot for which I need to be forgiven. Therefore, I need to search my heart and truly forgive our churches.

I’ve learned a lot this last year about compassion and our human tendency to live in fear. And although our pastors preach to have faith rather than fear, we fall back into the flesh so easily. I do it, you do it and our church leaders (who are just humans too) do it. It doesn’t make me feel good to see our churches closed but I also don’t want to have the burden of unforgiveness on my heart and soul. I realized I can be sad and still forgive.

I like that in this letter to Philemon, Paul doesn’t demand that the slave Onesimus be taken back into the household. Paul wields a lot of authority. He could’ve just said, “Take him back and don’t be mean to him.” But God wants our hearts. Jesus and the Holy Spirit work on our transformation. That’s why each time I see what was previously my “nemesis” in the neighborhood I know the Holy Spirit is working in me. My hand was purposely lifted up to wave at him – not the mistaken neighbor. To help my heart be free of any last morsels of unforgiveness.

Friends, I have seen the miracle healing of forgiveness in others. I have felt it in myself. It’s there for the taking for you. Let’s be like the father of the prodigal son – from a long way off he saw his son returning. He didn’t know why his son was coming back. It could’ve been to ask for more money. Instead of looking out the window and thinking every bad thought, he ran to him. (Luke 15:20) He tucked his tunic between his legs and ran to hug him in front of the townspeople. He might’ve needed to forgive him a few more times in the course of their lives, we don’t know. But the joy he had with that one action has given us the lesson for the ages.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Faith, Jesus Follower, Transformation Prayer, Uncategorized

Free To Be

January 20, 2021January 12, 2021 krisshetter

But one thing I do: Forgetting 
what is behind and straining 
toward what is ahead, I press 
on toward the goal to win the 
prize for which God has called 
me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 3:13-14

A prayer to live without regret

Holy God, it’s been many years since I accepted your gift of salvation, which along with that gift came forgiveness. And yet, so often I am unable to forgive myself. My heart still twinges when I think of the times I lived in sin. And once saved, I look back at the years I realize I wasn’t fully committed to obeying your Word. I’ve wasted enough time, however, not accepting your grace. I am learning how much you love me, LORD. And with that, I’m working to accept that I am a new person because of your son Jesus. The old me can’t take up any more precious time when you are filling up my heart with overwhelming love. I admit I sometimes need stern admonishment from you to keep me on track. But at other times please send me a gentle kiss or unexpected hug to remind to live in today, not the regrets of the past. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

I don’t know about you but I’ve done some very non-Christian things in my life. I spent about five years of my younger life seeking inappropriate relationships with men. I thought that if I turned over my precious gift of intimacy that I would find love. We can watch endless movies, read countless novels, and dispense wisdom about how fruitless this path is and yet never seem to apply it to our own lives.

The first time I said a desperate prayer was when, at 19, I thought I was pregnant. I begged God to save me from myself. And He did. I don’t really know why since I know others were not. I bargained with God to do His part and I would stop such reckless behavior. And I did not. I wasn’t a Christian at the time – although I believed in God. So maybe He was giving me a few allowances. I won’t know until the day of my eternity when I can ask Him.

Fast forward a few years and I was a young mother with two kids. I was a Christian by then. And yet I continued, time after time, to disobey God. Boy did that lead to a lot of unnecessary hardship. Of these two situations it’s actually this second that I tend to regret the most. Because I truly knew better. I think of all the wasted hours of tears and painful relationships I could have avoided. I think of the times I could’ve been a better mother and wife and friend had I just surrendered myself completely to God.

If we confess our sins, he 
is faithful and just and will 
forgive us our sins and purify 
us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9

I realize that by holding on to my forgiven past it’s like a log tied around one ankle. It hinders me to fully grab onto the joy of today and promises of God. It’s not that we need to forget our past. We can learn a lot from our choices and their consequences. But when we accept Jesus as our savior we must accept that we are now changed in our spirit. Sometimes we just need to remind our heart and mind of that change.

Friend, I don’t know what sinful choices you may have made in your past, but Jesus came so we don’t need to live an entire life of repentance for our past regretful choices. We need to turn those sins over to God only once. And turn our faces toward today.

There’s a lot from my past that I’m still working on fully releasing to God. He has already forgiven me for them. I just need to let go of the string and allow them to float into the heavens. With His gentle reminders of His love for us we can be free.

If you want this too, add the prayer to your daily prayer list and watch and see how God works in your life!

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, christian men, Faith, Jesus Follower, Uncategorized

Strength Through His Promises

December 29, 2020December 27, 2020 toddshetter

Say to those with fearful hearts, 
“Be strong, and do not fear for 
your God is coming to destroy your 
enemies. He is coming to save you.”
Isaiah 35:4

Peace Through Strength

A simple three-word statement can mean so many different things to so many different people. I was in high school and then college when President Ronald Reagan served his two terms as President of the United States. During this same period of time my political ideals began to mature and form. I was squarely aligned with conservative political principles and beliefs. I was what was known as a “Reagan Youth.”

Peace through strength was a common plank in the foundation of conservative beliefs. The political and strategic approach in those days was to build up superior defenses, troop numbers and weapons capabilities that created a deterrent for any foreign enemy considering a challenge. This led to the arms race and the escalation of tensions between the two most powerful and wealthy super-powers of the day. Our strength was determined by holding a tight grip on the sure demise of the enemy.

Those were the days of the Cold War. The U.S., under Reagan’s strong conservative stance was clearly and ideologically opposed to the Red Communist Russia– the “evil empire”. Mikhail Gorbachev was the leader of the Soviet party and the target of Reagan’s famous words while standing at the Berlin Wall – “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” President Reagan, understanding the opportunity at hand, called into focus his years of theatrical training and vocation, captured the world’s attention and started what would begin the eventual decline and crumbling of the Russian empire and it’s stranglehold on the Eastern bloc.

But the Lord is faithful; 
he will strengthen you and 
guard you from the evil one.
2 Thessalonians 3:3

While many of my political beliefs, alignments and passions are similar today as they were 35 years ago, my perspectives have changed. Peace through strength has a different meaning to me now.

Peace doesn’t hold the same overarching meaning of “World Peace” and lack of foreign wars. Peace has become more personal and internal. The Hebrew word for peace is shalom and includes the notions of completeness, wholeness, fulfillment, harmony and well-being.

That type of peace is not of my making but is delivered from the strength of God’s powerful promises and proven acts of salvation.

My peace through strength today comes from the foundational strength I know from promises that have already been delivered in my life from Jesus. My peace occurs because I know that regardless of what happened yesterday, what occurred today and what unknowns will occur tomorrow I am forgiven, protected and preserved for all time. My grip is not focused on keeping others who oppose me away. My hands are both firmly attached to the vine who guides, leads and sustains me.

My strength and peace lie in him and no one else.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Jesus Follower, Uncategorized

Amazing Proof

November 18, 2020November 17, 2020 krisshetter

Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.

When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts?Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. ²⁶Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.”

Luke 5:18-26

“Follow the science.” “Believe in science.” Sound familiar? And yet throughout this year “science” seems to not be the concrete “savior” so many want it to be. I once had a woman tell me she wears her mask to “show her love for me” because science says it’ll somehow save me that she is wearing a mask. While I’m not here to debate wearing or not wearing a mask I can tell you that her wearing a mask doesn’t prove to me she loves me. I’m appreciative when someone doesn’t sneeze or cough in my face but I don’t consider that a proof of their love for me either – it’s just courteous.

We are a people that love proof. So often the proof we desire is that which validates our own opinions – even in the face of completely opposite proof. My father is an atheist. While I don’t expect everyone to suddenly be a Christian, the idea of not believing there is a Divine Entity that had its hand it creating us and the universe seems so, well, unscientific. But just like the pharisees and teachers of the law in the verses today, sometimes we just have a hard time believing even when something amazing is happening right in front of our face. They were so focused on their twisted version of the Law they couldn’t even allow the people to glorify God when faced with miracles.

And then Jesus. Just the simple fact that the paralytic man’s friends knew that if they could just get him close to Jesus, he would be healed was amazing. Where was their proof? To passersby watching them up on the roof trying to lower him down might have scoffed and thought they were crazy. But to the friends, they had only heard of Jesus’ miracles and put their faith in the unknown. For the people inside the house watching Jesus heal the man they had all the proof they needed as to who He was. And yet their sticking point was Jesus forgiving the man’s sins. The healing proof still wasn’t enough for them.

I so frequently see things in nature, not just the amazing ecosystem God created for us humans to survive, but also the heart wrenching beauty and think, “How can anyone not believe there is a God?” What more proof do they need? Our bodies are fine tuned to this earth. The circular systems of creating breathable air, water to drink, food to eat, and sunshine and darkness for our bodies to succeed are really all the proof we should need.

My husband and I got four baby chicks back in March. They are now big, beautiful ladies that lay eggs daily. I asked my husband the other day, “Is there any other animal on this planet that works so hard to feed us humans?” The chicken, according to the Smithsonian, dates back between 7,000 to 10,000 years. It’s mentioned both in the Old and New Testaments. And if you look up a picture of the innards of a chicken you’ll see it is quite simple. In fact, it seems its sole purpose it to lay eggs. There’s really nothing fancy and yet they are amazingly fascinating. The process by which an egg ends up being an egg seems magical. And yet it happens every, single day. Each time I collect eggs I thank the ladies for their hard work. Because I know the next step for that egg will be something delicious – nourishment for my husband before he heads off to work, a small but important part in homemade cinnamon rolls, the key ingredient to a souffle. The chicken was made specifically to lay eggs – fertilized or not. And we were made to eat them.

And yet we still want proof. When I hear non-believers ask for proof I just smile. They are their own proof. Their amazingly complicated body system – the most complicated of all the animals on the planet – that’s their proof. Every breath we take, that’s our proof. And the fact that we are the only species to yearn for a purpose on this globe, to question why we are here, is even more proof. Sometimes the proof we seek is in the absence of something. For the pharisees, they wanted proof that Jesus could forgive sins. And yet they witnessed a God-given miracle right in front of their faces.

Goose bumps evolved to make our ancestors’ hair stand up, making them appear more threatening to predators.
As you breathe, most of the air is going in and out of one nostril. Every few hours, the workload shifts to the other nostril.
Your tongue is made up of eight interwoven muscles, similar in structure to an elephant’s trunk or an octopus’s tentacle.
On a genetic level, all human beings are more than 99 percent identical.
25 Amazing Facts About the Human Body by Mental Floss

How much amazing proof are you overlooking every day? Every single minute of every single hour we take a breath, God proves His existence. The “science” surrounds us. It is us. We are His amazing proof.