Tag: anger

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Pruning for Fruitfulness

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In all this you greatly rejoice though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6

You may have learned at some point that wildfires actually can be positive for burning out old, dead wood and allowing for new growth.  God’s trials are our great refinery.  Every one of us experiences it.  But only Christians have the promises and therefore the hope for truly brighter days.  Only we have the guiding, comforting light of the Holy Spirit to remind us He is always with us.  

As the faithful we are led to forgive those who persecute us.  Not only forgive but to love.  Our fruit of our faith is joy, peace, patience, love, gentleness, kindness, self-control and faithfulness (Galatians 5:22).

If during a trial you don’t have this fruit you have to ask yourself if you have truly surrendered to Christ.  Or are you, as Pastor Tim Keller once said, “Sitting in God’s seat”?  Meaning, are you the arbiter of “the ways things should and must be?”  Are you so angry, sad or distraught when, after you’ve determined what is best in your life, that it all goes so differently? You’re sitting in God’s seat. 

The secular world says, “There is no future so I must have all my happiness in the ‘now.’” When that inevitable trial or suffering comes, the worldly are thrown into despair.  They think life should always be good.  But as the faithful we should and must put our ultimate happiness in the eternal.  When suffering comes to us it is to be expected because we live in a fallen world.  On the flip side, when life is good, we should be thanking God for what is actually the “unusual.”

Gopher Holes

This garden we are all in has a lot of gopher holes that have been dug out by the world who live by fleshly desires.  Greed, selfishness, hatred, unforgiveness, unkindness, sexual immorality and more are the result of Satan’s pull on mankind.  And it all slams against us at one time or another.  Trying to pluck us from His hands.

But God.  

He gives us this beautiful promise: “And behold, I am with you always to the end of the age.” (Matt 28:20).  Jesus said this to the apostles as He sent them out to spread the seeds of the Gospel because He knew what they would face.  Death and persecution would follow them everywhere.

Is this all to just “get through” safely to eternity?  In one way, yes.  But remember those fruits?  We don’t have the fruit of fear and drudgery and timidity.  We have the fruits of what so many seek through self-help books and psychology.  Our trials help us learn to persevere and grow closer to God in trust.  They show us that He is truly worthy of all our praise.  He provides and protects until He calls us home.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

Beautiful Blossoms

So again, I ask, have you come out stronger in your trials?  Has your faith beautifully blossomed?  If not, it’s time to reflect.  To ask yourself if you missed God in the suffering and in the calm.  If you missed an opportunity for peace in the pain.  If you still seek to control outcomes and sit in God’s seat.  Are your roots at the surface or are they grounded deep in the love and knowledge of God?

You will face something difficult again.  He is trustworthy and has a plan for you.  Through your tears, ask Him to reveal Himself at work.  In your anxiousness ask Him to make your path straight.  In your heavy burden take up His offer to turn it all over to Him.

I promise you, because I have seen Him at work through many people, including myself, you will see your faith grow by leaps and bounds.  And the world will have a difficult time pulling your deep roots from God’s rich soil.

This week’s question: What promise of God have you relied on during difficult times?

Next week join me as we delve into the truth and the beauty of obedience and submission.

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Day 8 Honey In The Rock

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Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:26-27
By awesome deeds you answer us with righteousness, O God of our salvation, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas; Psalm 65:5

There’s been a few times in my 36 years of marriage when we experienced serious financial loss.  The first time it was devastating.  I felt lost and unsure of our future.  It was hard not blaming and feeling angry.  I wasn’t a woman of faith at the time so I turned inward to chastise myself over and over and then outward condemning anyone associated with the loss.  I dwelt over it, turning the situation around in my head during endless, sleepless nights.  Each time I drove past the business project in which we had invested the scab was re-opened and for days I would feel those same feelings all over again.

Fast forward many years when my husband’s business and another investment came under dramatic assault due to Covid restrictions and fear.  We saw all that we had built potentially crumbling beneath us.  This loss was potentially greater, effecting our retirement and even our home.  This time, however was different.  

I frequently found myself at peace.  Sure, I’d get scared.  I’d worry about the stress my husband was under.  This time I had someone to tell me there was a purpose to the plan.  To tell me He would give us the manna and the honey because He is the Lord who provides.

We have two choices to make when difficulties attack our lives.  We can turn to our emotions and fears or we can turn to Jesus.  When we allow our fears to take over, we get angry, we blame, we get depressed.  For people like me I wear myself out alternately beating myself up (you shouldn’t have taken that vacation last year!  That money could help us now!) or obsessing over how to fix an unfixable problem.  For some they withdraw from the world all together feeling hopeless.

When I finally learned, and most of all believed, that God is who we turn to satisfy and squash our fears I experienced freedom.  He is a miracle worker.  He can bring water from a stone.  Turn water into wine.  No matter what we face in the coming years we need to remember to seek God for all we need.  Pray, praise and trust then repeat.

I’m having some issues with the webpage provider correctly linking the songs from the button below. So try clicking here: Honey In The Rock.

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Rise & Shine

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“Arise, shine, for your light has come,
    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
    and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
    and his glory appears over you." Isaiah 60:1-2

Rise and shine and give God the glory! Those are the words I heard when I first woke this morning. You see I had told my husband last night, just before we went to sleep, that I had no idea what I was going to write about today. Zip, zilch, nada. But I wasn’t worried. I didn’t lay awake all night concerned about the words that had yet to come. Why? Because over a month ago I made the commitment to the Lord that I wouldn’t run ahead of Him in this project. I turned any worries I might have over to Him. So, last night I fell into a blissful sleep with the knowledge that our glorious Lord always comes through for us.

You read that correctly. He always comes through on His promises. He is always present to comfort us, to teach us, to protect and heal. The way He accomplishes this may not (and it usually doesn’t) look like how we imagined but, when we have faith in His love for us and we seek Him in every circumstance we will see Him at work.

Yesterday at lunch my friend and I shared the topics of what can keep us up at night: family strife, fears of illness, the state of the world, and even our pets. As the Lord has worked on the part of my body that brings me so much grief — my mind — He has shown me how to turn each thought over to Him in trust and prayer.  To release my prideful ideas of control and be still of mind.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

That thief? He is the one keeping you up at night. He is the one that whispers that you must be the one to fix other people. He reminds you that death may be just around the corner. He reveals to you all your weaknesses and screw ups. He places the doubt of God’s sovereignty and love in your mind.  He’s convincing you to expect bad things to happen. He’s the one telling you to clean up your act before you can come bow down before our Mighty and Glorious King. Ugh! I hate that guy! The king of lies. 

"Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
    when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
    the Lord will be a light to me." Micah 7:8

Oh, yes we will rise! We will rise because when we pray, the glory of the Lord shines a light on the lies. Before we go to bed each night we turn every single thought over to Him and we don’t take it back. We put it in God’s holy lockbox. We pray for the hope of tomorrow. That the Lord will do a mighty work in our circumstances. Because Jesus came to slay that serpent and indwell in us the fruit of the spirit.

I heard in a podcast this morning that Israel’s enemies would try to defeat them by putting rocks in their fruitful wells. King David was said to have opened all the wells up in victory. That’s what we need to pray today. For the Lord not to fill us — as believers we already have the gift of the Spirit in us — but to remove all those rocks we have placed in our well. It may be bitterness, jealousy, fear, mistrust, anger or any number of negative thoughts and actions. We pray not to be filled but to break down those rocks and fully utilize the glorious gifts we’ve been given such as love, joy and especially peace.

Oh, that blissful peace. It’s what we yearn for each night we lay our heads to rest. My friends, it’s time to unblock our wells and give God the glory for all He has done and will do for you. The hope of today and tomorrow that He will be present in your life every single moment.

And when you rise, give God all glory and honor and power. Amen.

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The Wobbly Rock

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It always seems to start with just one bite, one taste, one look, one try.  We soon find ourselves groaning in disbelief that we ate it all again.  Did the one thing we were working so hard to avoid, again.  Disappointed someone again.  Backslid, again.  The world wants to blame Adam for this problem but it was Eve who started us down this ugly path of weakness, self-gratification and indulgence.

To be fair, it was who she decided to put her trust in that caused the Great Fall.  Two parties working in concert– Satan and Eve’s pridefulness– to disobey God’s command that fateful day led us to where we are today.  Adam, that poor soul, had a two-against-one situation convincing him all was well.  Of course, it was really two-on-two if Adam had simply spoke God’s name and asked for help.  God’s omnipotence would have been the finger pressed heavily on the scale for Adam and Eve to turn from the fruit in question.

But because they both placed their trust in what pastor John Ortberg calls, “a wobbly rock,” we find ourselves repeating a version of the world’s first story each day.  Pastor Ortberg, describes this wobbly rock like the one he decided to put his trust in one day while crossing a stream.  It looked secure and rooted in the soil.  As he leapt on it the rock gave way and into the water he went. Resulting in numerous injuries.  And the question today is, “what wobbly rock are you placing your trust in?”

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.  2 Timothy 3:1-5

I suppose we should ask, are we such people Paul is warning against?  In C.S. Lewis’ essay on the three kinds of men he describes the first type of man as one who lives totally for themselves without any acknowledgement of a higher being who will pass judgment on them or have any expectations of them.  For this person, the idea of self-control is based on the whim of the day.  “I should” or “I shouldn’t” enter their vocabulary based on family, social group or society’s expectations.  This person places their trust in a shifting set of rules based on new emotions, facts, and desires.  Today’s “well done” is tomorrow’s regret not because of eternal judgment but because the rules have changed.

The second person is one which Mr. Lewis says most of society reflects.  They know they should live a certain way and sincerely try to do so but only after they have first ensured their own security and happiness.  They believe in that higher power.  Maybe even call him God or Jesus.  These are Adams and Eves.  They’ve experienced God in some way.  But are divided in where they put their full trust.   They give to their church or charities but only as leftovers.  They stand up for the higher power as long as it doesn’t cost them much.  They are drawn to wanting to fit in with the latest views on sexuality and morality while at the same time knowing the Truth of God’s Word. They call their faith “personal” and wouldn’t dream of sharing it.  They “do the right thing” because they think they have to or else God might be angry.  Or to gain favor with God.  Their self-control still stems from their own will, but gets a nice dose of god-guilt on top when they fail to meet what they think God wants from them.   A wobbly rock to be sure.

Many times, however we take it on ourselves to define what’s good for us, and we can be tempted to doubt God for disagreeing with us.”  

Charles Stanley

Doesn’t that sound exactly like Adam and Eve?  Their self-control lasted only as long as something sounded a bit better or reasonable.  Satan didn’t erase God from their minds.  No, he took God’s words and twisted them in such a way that fed their gift of self-will.  I can only imagine the guilt and shame they must have felt as they packed up their fig leaves, a few bags of grain and fruit, and passed from the Garden gates.  From that day forth they probably tried really hard to do the right thing yet knew they were weak and could easily backslide into self-gratification. It sounds like them, but does it also sound like you?

Before we look at the third man in Mr. Lewis’ essay, I have a task for you.  Pastor Ortberg recommends taking this personal inventory to find out, with honesty, where we sit with God.  Are we relying on a wobbly rock which either leads us to temporary self-control or a self-control done with a “I have to” attitude?  This isn’t a confession to God, just inventory-taking.  No guilt, no correction, just a self-examination.  Be fearless and searching, remembering God loves you.

  1. Pride: Is ego ever on the throne in my life? Self-promotion, selfishness, sense of entitlement?  Lack of being a servant?
  2. Anger: Where is there resentment in me?  Where are the obsessive thoughts that want to strike out all the time?  Have I gotten physically violent or just withdrawn   
  3. Sexuality: Are there decisions I have made around my sexual behavior where I feel regret or guilt?  Have I been unfaithful?  Are there patterns of addiction, sexual pornography?  Have I crossed lines in relationships?  Have I been the victim of sexual assault or molestation?
  4. Envy: Do I ever compare myself to other people – appearance, career, family, bank account?  
  5. Gluttony: Do I use food as a way to escape or isn’t good for my body?  Or are there other appetites that would lead my body down the wrong path?
  6. Sloth: Not just a lack of activity but is there a failure to do what needs to be done?  Do I ever procrastinate with things that have high value?
  7. Greed: Do I ever hoard?  Am I gripped by a false sense of financial insecurity?  Do I not manage finances well?  Do I give the way God would want me to?

Remember, after you have completed this searching about where you lack in self-control or have placed your trust, if you are a follower of Jesus, God will lead you out of any guilt or shame.  Turn to Him, for He is the God who restores.

Coming Up: To Be The 3rd Man

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Tilling Hatred from Our Hearts

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I recently saw a video by Dennis Prager, a prominent Jewish conservative and president of PragerU.  In it he spoke with confidence how anyone who says they “love the Nazis” doesn’t know love at all.  He inquired, “How can a person who says they love evil people also say they love Mother Teresa or Dietrich Bonhoeffer?”  When I showed this to my Bible study groups they all agreed with that statement.  So, I then asked, who else in our lives has sinned and doesn’t deserve God’s love?  What level of sin does it take to be wholly rejected, never to even have the hope of forgiveness by God?

A few ladies relented and said, “Well if they asked for forgiveness on their deathbed then ok.”   Which brought the next question, “So God didn’t love you until you asked for forgiveness?”  And if God hated them why would He even give them a second chance, if not out of love?  Wouldn’t the entire message of Jesus be pointless if we really believed this?  God sent His Son to die for us, while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).  Not after we begged Him not to smote us.  He loved us first.  He’s commanding us to love first.  This doesn’t mean the unrepentant won’t be judged.  Far from it.  But the beauty of God’s love is that He provides that path toward redemption and the knowledge that final retribution is His purview.  

Which leads me to a second way this week to love as Jesus did.  You’ll notice throughout the Gospels that Jesus sees individuals.  The woman at the well was just another hated Samaritan to the Jews.  But to Jesus, she was a woman in distress.  A woman who had given in to a sinful lifestyle.  The bleeding woman who touched the edge of his garment was just another sickly, sinful, woman who the average person disdained and ignored.  She was “one of those people.”  He stopped his large entourage and saw her.  Saw her pain and sin and need.  

Jesus shows us it’s a mistake to pass judgement on a whole people.  Our propensity to group people into categories of who we like and don’t like is why there’s so much political ugliness today.  While I of course don’t “love” the atrocities that were committed by the Nazis, how easy is it for us to group all German men and women who were individuals with families, jobs, dreams, fears, etc?  Did too many of them hate another group of people they also saw as faceless?  Yes.  And the cycle went and continues to go around and around.  The Arabs hate the Jews,  Liberals hate Conservatives, Serbs hate Croatians, Americans hate the Russians, Protestants and Catholics hate each other, Hindus and Muslims hate each other, etc.  But each of those groups are made up of people; people created in His image, all descendants of one man and one woman.

Looking back over the COVID years we can see how many “ordinary” people get caught up in doing what those in power demand for fear of retribution.  Or going along because it seemed the right thing at the time. And now in the Western world we have the vaccinated versus the unvaccinated and the masked versus the unmasked.  We fall so easily in to Satan’s trap of erasing each other’s individuality.  He doesn’t want us to look at people as individuals because when we do, we can see ourselves.  We can see their failings just like our own.  We see their fears and their hopes.

Does that mean we should only hate the people in power?  Jesus loved the Pharisees too.  Of all the people He spoke to throughout the Gospels it’s the Pharisees on whom He seemed to spend the most effort.  Why would He do that?  He saw each of them as men with failings.  He didn’t turn Nicodemus away when he approached seeking answers.  He didn’t toss him out on his ear.  No, Jesus loved him as an individual man seeking the truth.  When He came, He came to save all of them too.

Mr. Prager, not having faith in Jesus, still lives in the eye for an eye world.  A world where there must be constant sacrifice to try and lighten the stain of sin.  He doesn’t accept how God loves us so much He sent the ultimate sacrifice to cleanse us.  He hasn’t the benefit of knowing Jesus will be the ultimate judge.  And that Jesus will be the one to send the unrighteous to hell.   No, unfortunately the person, no matter the faith, race or nationality that doesn’t know Jesus needs and wants earthly retribution.  And that equates hatred, not love.

During the time of the Holocaust, Pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the man mentioned by Mr. Prager, fled to America.  While in the United States he realized God was calling him back to Germany to help his fellow man.  He aided thousands of Jews and others in escaping death.  He spoke out against the atrocities being committed.  He was eventually arrested and in the waning days of the war was executed.  If there was anyone who could speak of hating the Nazis it was him.  

“Christian love draws no distinction between one enemy and another, except that the more bitter our enemy’s hatred, the greater his need of love. Be his enmity political or religious, he has nothing to expect from a follower of Jesus but unqualified love. In such love there is not inner discord between the private person and official capacity. In both we are disciples of Christ, or we are not Christians at all.”  

Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

My friends, if we want to live a life free of hatred, free of the turmoil it causes, Jesus has shown us what to till in our hearts – love.  Loving people enough to truly help them find real, eternal freedom.  To see God’s creation the way He does – as individuals loved by Him.  He didn’t say it was easy.  Oh no, it’s probably one of the most difficult requests put forth for us worldly creatures.  That’s why He didn’t leave us to figure it out ourselves.  Holding on to hatred and extreme anger is not the garden God wants as our home.

“The list of ways chronic anger can affect a person’s well-being – and even put the health of others in peril – is long, John Schinnerer, an anger management coach says. “It’s been linked to obesity, low self-esteem, migraines, drug and alcohol addiction, depression, sexual performance problems, increased heart attack risk, lower-quality relationships, higher probability of abusing others emotionally or physically or both … higher blood pressure and stroke,” he notes.

For our physical and spiritual health we need to release that anger and not leave that space empty for the devil to fill it up again with weeds.  Instead, Jesus, our good doctor, gave us the healing power of love.  When you find yourselves acting, speaking, thinking out of hatred or anger toward a group of people we must first choose to obey Jesus and seek another action, another perspective.  Call on the Holy Spirit.  Remind yourself that the fruit of that Spirit starts with Love.  For when you do, that little sprout of love will blossom into an unimaginable garden of beauty and shock those around you.  It will do what is promised by Jesus in the rest of John 13: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Coming up: The gardening tasks of Love

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Tears

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But while he was still a long way off his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  Luke 15:20

I know the text doesn’t say it but I can only imagine the tears flowing from the father and mother in the story of the prodigal son.  In fact, the King James version says “he fell on his son’s neck” in a dramatic display of joy and love.  Awhile ago, my family brought me to tears of joy with a surprise visit from my daughter, whom I hadn’t seen in months.  I heard the front door open and thinking it was my older daughter I made my way toward the front of the house to tell her hello.  When I realized it was my younger daughter I was overcome with tears and unable to speak.  I stood there sobbing in her arms.

It may seem strange to be thankful to God for tears but without them our world would be so vanilla.  I’ve laughed until I have cried with friends and family.  I’ve cried out to God, thankful for His grace and salvation.  I’ve wept at the birth of my daughters.  And yes, I’ve cried those tears of sorrow, of loss, of anger, of desperation.

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5

So often we must weep, live in hard times before we can experience the full glory and blessing of God.  It’s why James tells us we should consider it joy to experience trials.  Because those trials produce good fruit in us.  And that fruit becomes something for us to share.

I have a friend whose 90 year old mother confesses to not remembering the last time, if ever, that she has cried.  What that means is she hasn’t participated fully in the gifts of life.  With each winter season in our lives we are so often rewarded with the spring, a time to bring  us great joys.  I want to go from this life knowing I have cried many tears from laughter, thankfulness, joyous surprise, beautiful surroundings and more.  I heard a Christian teacher say, “If you want the joy of Sunday’s resurrection you must first have the tears of Friday’s crucifixion.”

I’m so very grateful to God for giving us the outward ability to show our emotions.  To show those we love how much we love them, even after they are gone.  I’m looking forward to the day I can cry tears of joy when I see Jesus’ face watching for me from a long way off.  I know that when I get close enough, I will fall into His arms weeping, filled with joy.

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Brain Power

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Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Genesis 1:26

It’s a sad state we find ourselves in where you can get more sympathy for killing cows than human babies.  According to the American Life League more than 61.8 million children have been aborted since 1973.  The elevation of animals over humans sees countless protests for using animals for food as “good” yet protests in front of an abortion clinic as “bad.”  Any Christian who has submitted themselves to the Word of God can easily read God’s directives in Genesis where He has given man, not only caretaking responsibility but also the use of animals and plants as sustenance.  

To be placed in this position by God required making humans unique.  Not only did He give us the concepts of right and wrong along with various emotions but also higher brain power.  While I dearly love my dog Tucker, he will only ever reach a certain level of intelligence.  He’s pretty smart —  kinda like a two year old child.  Which makes him smart and dopey at the same time!

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out. Proverbs 18:15

Even someone who we might consider to be the least intelligent among us or someone  with a mental disability excels in mental capacity from the beasts of the earth.   As humans we can be ever thankful for God giving us brains that create and understand justice, morality, empathy, love, anger, sadness, our mortality and beauty.  Our ability to not just dream of the future but to create a path to that future, be it a new building,  a new method for delivering products, designing a rocket, or figuring out how to explore the  depths of the sea, sets us on top of the list of the living things on this planet.  God created a brain so unique in this world that it even knows how to analyze itself!

What a great gift He has given us humans!  I’m so thankful for the responsibility He has given us because with it comes the tools to be great stewards of His creation.

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Slow to Speak

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Then the high priest stood up before them and asked Jesus, “Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?” 
But Jesus remained silent and gave no answer.  Mark 14:61

I sat in that meeting surrounded by men.  I was the only woman on the coaching staff and that alone put me at a disadvantage.  But I never have had an issue with being “the only one.”  I frequently have found myself in the position of being the youngest, the woman, the questioning, the sober, the only one to say “no.”  So that evening was no exception.  What was uncomfortable was the man in front of the room threatening me.  He also threatened to have the softball program thrown out of the community center if I remained a coach.  

Something inside my head told me to do something I rarely do – keep silent.  I typically will speak up and defend myself but it was almost as though tape were placed over my mouth.  Partially out of a sense of shock and fear that this man might physically attack me and partially because of that voice I remained quiet as he ranted and raved.

When the ranter was out of steam, the president of the league stood up and with his large physical presence made it clear the man was done and needed to leave.  A vote was taken and I stayed part of the coaching staff.  When the meeting came to an end I was shocked again when the other men, many who had rarely given me the time of day, approached me and congratulated me on standing strong and being so “tough.”  As I walked to my car that night my legs turned to jelly and I collapsed in my car in tears.  The ranter’s words were painful but the words of congratulations also overwhelmed me.  I had finally done something they could all respect.  And it was all because I listened to that small voice to keep quiet.

Even though I experienced success that evening with my silence it can drive me bonkers reading how Jesus took the abuse from the Pharisees.  Of course, unlike Him, I couldn’t rain hellfire down on my accuser and work a miracle.  But Jesus knew exactly when to speak and when to stay silent.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry... James 1:19

And that’s my topic this week on being resolute in Christ – when to act or speak and when to rest or be silent.  Because frequently doing the exact opposite of what the world expects is exactly what we need to do to serve God righteously.

But how do we know?  It can be difficult to discern between our wants, needs and fears and the Word of God. I have found over the last few years, however, that God does make things clear when it is important.  Plus, knowing the character of God and Jesus and what is expected of us is tantamount in making good decisions.  God never speaks to our fleshly desires, encouraging us to indulge.  He is prudent, loving, kind, careful with resources, seeks justice and forgiveness, and above all He is holy.

Study the three main traits of Christ (justice, goodness, holiness) for thirty days, begin to practice them in your daily life, and see what God does…you won’t be disappointed.

Joyce Meyer, God’s Character

I’ve found it fascinating that people who want clear answers from God aren’t willing to actually know the character of the “person” from whom they are seeking answers.  Yet, I won’t go to a friend who clearly has difficulty with their finances and ask them for financial advice!  And I won’t seek fashion advice from someone that looks like they’ve just rolled out of bed every day.  

So much of obeying God’s and His Holy Spirit nudgings must start with knowing the road signs to even look for.  And then when we have accomplished that we must start paying attention and actually acting on those directives.

I love reading Sparkling Gems from the Greek each morning.  It’s a yearly devotional that takes scripture and studies it in the original Greek meaning.  Recently, the author wrote of how he was to attend a gathering of fellow pastors whom he hadn’t seen in awhile. He and his wife travelled to the city where the event was to take place.  As they were about to the leave the hotel a clear word came to him to not attend.  He first told his wife he felt the need to stay in the hotel.  But he went anyways not wanting to miss out on the fun.  Each step along the way he was told over and over to not go.  While at the event the message became almost overwhelming.  He left his wife to keep visiting and he returned to his hotel.  Upon entering his room, he realized they had been burgled.  All their passports, computers, important papers, jewelry and more were gone.  And he realized his fleshly desires overtook that warning voice.

How often have we stood in the midst of a situation that calls us to be an outsider, a dissenter, the weird one, the one to step out of line and answer the call of His voice?   And how often have we brushed it aside thinking we know better?  When we don’t know the character of God that will happen frequently.  But when we do know the character of God there’s no excuse.  We repent and tell God to give us another chance to serve Him rightly.

God will frequently call us in our everyday lives to do something that may help us or help others.  That cashier you want to be rude to because she is talking to another co-worker about her personal life? Ya, God might be telling you to say something incredibly kind to her or just keep silent.  That neighbor who yells at you because he doesn’t like where you put your trashcan?  God might be telling you to keep your mouth shut.  That trip you are about to take? He may be saying, “cancel it.” You won’t know if it’s your own worries or desires unless you know Him and His ways.

“But they refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs and covered their ears.They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen to the law or to the words that the Lord Almighty had sent by his Spirit through the earlier prophets. So the Lord Almighty was very angry.
“‘When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen,’ says the Lord Almighty.  Zachariah 7: 11-13

God calls us to action and He calls us to inaction.  He calls us to speak and calls us to stay silent.  But if we worry too much about the world and what they will think if we obey those words, then we are sure to be judged.  We must stand resolutely when we hear that voice and through knowing His mind we will be assured He has our backs.

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The Midol Woman

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We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

I love watching the British tv show Midsommer Murders.  I’m a detective fan since my young girl days of hiding my Nancy Drew books inside my school desk and sneaking it out when the teacher wasn’t looking.  I pay extra on my Amazon Prime account to get these shows.  Recently however, they’ve added commercials – dropped in at odd places in the show.  One such commercial keeps popping up, show after show, day after day.   It’s for Midol, the pain reducer typically suggested to relieve cramping and pains due to menstruation.  

The commercials themselves are a testament to where we are at in society.  You see, each of the women are portrayed as victims.  Not necessarily of having a period but of having to deal with the pain and therefore their related behavior.  I call them the Midol Women.   One actress states, “If I don’t stop apologizing for my period behavior (apparently she’s quite a bear during this time) then it’ll never stop for future generations.”  Another states, “I’m not going to keep apologizing for being a ‘mad black woman’ just because I’m on my period.”  Period.

The message conveyed is “whatever I’m feeling today the world had better watch out!” And, “don’t make me apologize for what I’m about to unleash!”

Isn’t that the loud and clear message we hear so much today?  I’m not required to keep my mouth in check because (fill in the blank – my truth, my pain, my socioeconomic status, my race, my sexuality, my whatever) but YOU had better keep your mouth in check.  It all creates a bit of a neck whiplash.  And the result? Pain, hurt feelings, swelling pridefulness, torn relationships, violence and more.

James 3:10-11 says, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers and sisters, this should not be.  Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 

When it’s a Christian acting in this way we get the giant stamp of “hypocrite” placed on, not only us as individuals, but the faith as a whole.  It’d be better to live by the wisdom of the Proverbs.

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.  Proverbs 29:11

This concept has really hit home for me these past few months as I’ve battled constant pain in my ears and head.   I want to lash out at my husband at the end of the day when he’s being, well, just a man.  Normally I could laugh and tease him.   But it takes all the strength and patience out of me each day to not give in to the pain.  So when someone close to me does something annoying, my strength needs to come from somewhere else.   Because my tank is empty.

I don’t want to ruin a beautiful weekend by constantly gripping about how I feel.  I may always feel this way if my doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong.  So I have to ask myself, do I want to be the Midol Woman and demand that everyone around me accept my emotional bombs?  Or do I draw on the strength of God which the apostle Paul wrote when he spoke of his constant thorn in his side (2 Cor 12:7-10)?

Believe me, I want to be cured.  And I don’t like that women must suffer during their periods.  I hate that people, like my mother in law, have to deal with the effects of chemotherapy. Migraines, back pain, knee pain, the list goes on and on.  When we lose sight of who we belong to and what is expected of us we fall prey to being the Midol Woman.  We lose control of our tongue and its ability to “set great forests on fire by a small spark.” (James 3:5)

Dear Christian, we are held to a higher standard than the Midol Women of this world.  And yes, it is okay to be weak and cry.  It’s okay to lose our cool once in a while and have a bad day.  But to say we shouldn’t apologize for lashing out in those weak times is of the flesh and we are called to be better.  God expects us to be better, and most of all to be humble.  The world says it’s ok to rant, rave, slam doors, curse others – as long as it doesn’t happen to you.  God says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28)

It’s at our weakest times that our decision to be resolute in our faith is tested.  Not on the good days, not on the days our pain is masked, not on the sun shining days.  No, throughout the Bible we see we are almost sure to be tested on the bad days, the days we want to stay in bed, the days it takes a full tank and we are living on just a quarter.  It’s those days that when people say to me, “God is just a crutch” that I say, “Great, give me two.”

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Retire From Self Care

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"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

“I believe Jesus died to deliver ourselves from ourselves.  How many of us are just fed up being ourselves all the time?”

Joyce Meyer

The darkness, fury and despair of the young woman sitting next to me grew with each passing minute.  We were so close I could feel her shoulder touching mine.  Sitting on the airplane we found ourselves in that strange world of invading each other’s personal space while pretending neither existed.  Her billowing cloud seem to want to seep over the dividing line of the armrest to pull me in.

This seemingly quiet, unassuming young woman opened her computer and began pounding on her keyboard like the devil itself was trying to escape her fingertips.  My eyes drifted to her brightly lit screen.  I couldn’t help but notice the many words in all caps.  And I was drawn to know what was causing her so much angst.  It appeared she was writing a complaint letter about a work environment.  As her fingers marched like Roman soldiers across the keyboard, pounding and erasing and pounding some more I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away from the battle.  She was hurt and outraged.  She felt betrayed and abused.  Her past hurts served as the basis of why her employer should’ve known better.  And then those pounding fingers suddenly slammed the lid of the smoking computer closed.  Her fury still burned.  You could almost see the sparks coming from her.  

Over the course of three and half hours I watched this woman join the battle numerous times, editing, adding and pounding.  And then she started in on an email to her family.  I kept praying that she, once there was internet service, would have a change of heart and not send off the bombs she composed.  But alas, before deplaning, she picked up her phone and started, with the same fervor, sending off salvos via text messages.  I have never seen a person’s finger move with such speed and aggressiveness.  Like driving pass a car accident I couldn’t seem to look away.

I’ve come to realize that God puts me in all types of situations to test and teach me.  I was learning a valuable lesson.  You see, my tendency to get outrage over “unfair” situations is something I’ve battled with forever.  As I watched this young woman blow up at probably everyone in her life, I realized how much I need God to lead me out of my sin.  How much I need God to provide me with a different perspective.  How much I need to rely on God for peace.  What I wanted to do was turn to her and ask if she knew about Jesus.  I wanted to wrap Jesus’ love around her.  To somehow snap her mind off her problems and look up to God.  I could turn and look at this woman and see my own face looking back at me.  And I didn’t want to be “that girl.”

In 2019 there were more than 18 million self-help type books sold in the United States.  The number of unique titles rose nearly three-fold from 30,897 in 2013 to 85,253 in 2019.  That’s a lot of people trying to fix themselves!  Isn’t that, so often, what we turn to our friends, co-workers and professionals for – advice on fixing our problems?  

Aren’t we exhausted yet trying to fix ourselves?  As the world drifts farther from God it shouldn’t be surprising that so many people are working so hard to fix their own problems.  Jesus came to save our souls but I believe He also came to save us from ourselves.

“The only way we are ever ready for a change in our life is when we are tired of “me.”  When we say we cannot continue to do the work of trying to make ourself happy.  We are fed up.”

Joyce Meyer

When we stop striving, stop trying to control what other people think of us, stop trying to please everyone, stop shaming ourselves for our past, stop playing victim, and start putting God as our King, our Creator, our Lord we can release the yoke of our fleshly life.

"Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6:35

And follow Him.  Retire from our self-care routines.  Self-care as in trying to fix ourselves.  Certainly we take care of ourselves, our minds and bodies.  But God always calls us to take a new perspective in every aspect of our lives.  When we take time to mediate, what do we mediate on?  When we decide what best to eat or how to stay in shape, who do we do it for?  Why do we word vomit all over our family or friends trying to get them to see “our side?”  For ourselves?  Or for our Heavenly Father?

I’ve heard the evangelist teacher Joyce Meyer make this statement many times: “I was always on my mind.  I was so selfish.”  To change that she created these three steps:

Live to please God, not yourself.  You are making a Kingdom investment.  And you will always get a great return on your investment.

Refuse to have “me” on my mind all the time. I’m not thinking about what’s wrong with me all the time or how I can get people to do things for me.

Always use money and things to bless people.  Don’t use people to get money and things. 

Jesus frequently took the focus off Himself and placed it on God. He prayed for help in times of pain and trouble. He told the disciples to look to the Father. He guided new believers to putting away their shame and accepting forgiveness from God. The times He had to solidify His place as the Savior He seemed almost reluctant. The focus for Jesus the man was always God and how to best please Him.

In my study on Revelation, I was asked the question, “How does the fact that Jesus is King of Kings and Lord of Lords affect our everyday choices and decisions?” In other words, getting ourselves, off our own minds and onto the Creator.   I’m finally leaning more on Him as my wise counselor.  He is my exercise coach, my nutritional advisor, my mental wellness guru.  When I see my mind and body as belonging to Him, I realize the responsibility I have to keeping myself focused on what He wants for me.  I fail frequently.  And when I do I come to Him seeking and receiving forgiveness.

I encountered the young, angry, hurt woman at the end of my trip.  Before it had even started however, I failed to grab on to God’s promised peace by my favorite method of failure –outrage.  The TSA officer and I had a bit of a confrontation.  I blustered and was rude.  As I walked away, I realized I was wearing my silver cross around my neck.  I may have flushed in embarrassment.  I failed to show grace and patience and forgiveness.  I took the situation personally.  It was all about “me.”

The difference for me at that moment was instead of adding it to my Vault of Shame I lifted it up to God.  I had a counseling moment with Him.  I felt His disappointment and His love.  It set me on course to be more aware of my behavior choices while in the crowded airport.  

“We are in the middle between hating sin and sinning.  When we aren’t accustomed to making good choices it’s hard.  The devil is working against us.  The more often we make those good choices it becomes easier.”

Joyce Meyer

And so, on my return flight, as I sat next to the woman with fire bursting from her fingertips, and like lava flowing out on her family, friends, co-workers burning bridges left and right I wanted to be like Jesus.  To be able to look her in the eye and know her hurts, her overwhelming pain and say, “follow me.”   

And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Cor 5:15

It wasn’t a counseling moment for her.  Although I prayed for her.  It was a reminder message to me.  To live for Jesus.  To place my thoughts on Jesus.  To release my pain and hurts to Him.  To stop trying to defend and take care of myself.  To trust that He wants the best for me and will guide me to whatever that looks like.  To take my mind off me and have the mind of Christ.