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Day 19 Stand In Faith

Yesterday, I shared about my illness and the brief but wonderous healing I experienced.  I’ll be honest, when I started feeling all the same symptoms come back, I prayed like David so often did in the Psalms asking, “Why?”  I didn’t and still don’t fully understand why He allowed me to feel so good for a time.  Don’t get me wrong, I definitely appreciated it.  But let’s be honest, we humans so easily can feel like God is punishing us when we go through trials.

Then I turned to the truth.  The truth that God loves us and it pains Him to see us suffer the trials of this world.  I also know it’s through those trials we can choose to hold on tighter to Him or turn away.  

I look at this decision this way – to where would I turn?  Worldly addictions that only make life worse?  Or to a God who performs miracles?  I prefer to stand in faith that my season of healing may be around the corner.  If not soon, then I know it will be true one day.  

My friend, the Lord has plans for you.  Most likely you will have to cross a few alligator infested waters in faith.  Those trials will be your testimony to give others hope.  In fact, just the other day a friend of mine woke up with her shoulder mysteriously in so much pain she could barely bear it.  After a trip to urgent care and pain medication, she was able to make it through the weekend.  She said to me a few days later, “I thought of you.  I don’t know how you have gotten through what you’ve been through for so long.”  I smiled and said, “It’s all the Lord.”  Nothing is impossible for Him.

Click here to listen to today’s song: Stand In Faith

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Day 18 Gonna Be Alright

My youngest daughter sent this beautiful song to me a little while back when I was having a particularly bad bout of the mysterious illness I’ve been suffering the last three years.  My head felt as though it was being squeezed in a vise with needles being jammed in my ears.  I could barely hear.  And in just a few days we were to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  I wanted more than anything to fully enjoy all the activities planned with my visiting family.  Yet, I barely had the strength to get out of bed each day.  I was exhausted from battling through the pain.

I wanted a miracle just as the bleeding woman received from Jesus.  Healed of my disease to go about my life in peace.  This song was Jesus’ vehicle to remind me that He is my strength when I am weak.  He and He alone helped me push through the pain and be able to see the beauty of my life all around me.  To see my daughters jump in and take care of anything needed.  To feeling the joy of holding my baby granddaughter and the loving embrace of my grandson.

One week after Christmas every single one of my symptoms disappeared.  My doctors have yet to determine why for a month and a half I lived completely free of pain.  My hearing was restored.  It was glorious.  It was a beautiful gift.

While many of my symptoms eventually returned, those six weeks provided me with hope that there is a solution.  That my hearing isn’t permanently damaged.  

I’ve learned so much about suffering these past three years and what relying on the Lord really means.  My symptoms may never permanently disappear but I know in my cries for help He hears my voice.  I will keep crying out for Him to hold me in His arms.  And I know everything is going to be all right.

Click here to listen to today’s song: Gonna Be Alright

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Enjoying Life’s Possibilities

It’s been a great adventure studying Ecclesiastes with you! I hope you have enjoyed it — please share the series with your friends or catch up on what you missed. Click here for all of the Enjoy Life: from Meaningless to Meaningful posts!


I’m going to be completely honest with you, my friend.  Today’s post was to be what the British call “a bit of a fob off.”  You see, I had always planned to write the last look at Ecclesiastes after I returned from a 10 day trip to see my daughter and grandkids.  With a five month old infant and a two-year old who is obsessed with every sport, it’s now too difficult to continue writing when I visit and take care of them for eight hours.  Let’s just say this 59-year old grandma (Guga as I’m affectionately called) passes out from exhaustion about 8:30pm each night after a day of bottles, diapers, up and down the stairs, laundry, baseball, football, golf, hockey, and little bits of quiet snuggling in between.  I love every single bit of it.

So here I was back home ready to jump in to the wise words of King Solomon.  And I started feeling ill.  After just a few days home I became so delirious and short of breath that I caused myself a full blown panic attack one night thinking I was dying.  My husband managed to get me to the doctor where I tested positive for Influenza.  I can’t remember the last time I had the actual flu.  A flu that then turned into pneumonia — which is why I didn’t seem to be getting better. My hopes of feeling up to writing even a few lines were put way, way back on the burner.

But through the blessings of the Lord, I was put on new medications just yesterday.  I now have a veritable neighborhood pharmacy on my counter.  And although walking from one room to the next still seems a bit like I’ve tried tackling the 213.7 mile John Muir Trail with my friend Betsy, I can feel my body recovering.  So instead of “fobbing off” and writing a placeholder, here I am through God’s providence, jumping into wisdom and life and the wonderful meaning of it all.


You see, even in my darkest moments when I was really sick I was remembering some important things about this life.  That I don’t know how it all works but God does.  Ecclesiastes 1 reminded us that although we are made in God’s image, He still is the ultimate creator and has more power and knowledge than we can ever hope to amass.

I also allowed myself to ask why God doesn’t fix things immediately at my whim or even pleading?  Which, of course, reminded me of the famous Ecclesiastes 3 scripture:

After my 4am panic attack and my husband had calmed my breathing, I laid back in bed thinking, “Is this what it will be like in the end?  At my final moments?  Worried and panicked?  Clawing to hold on to one more day of this life?”  

When we looked at Ecclesiastes 9, we ran head first into the only truth no one can deny, no matter how hard they try.  “The same destiny overtakes us all.” (vs 3).  And yet we cling so hard and forget about the other truth the people of this world want to deny – we have hope for those who believe.  We have an eternal place where God has a plan for justice.  Where He has brought every single one of our loved ones, who also believe, to live with us forever and ever.  Nothing left behind but sin and strife and pain and death.

My friends, if we accept that death is our future and as Solomon told us in verse 9:12, “No one knows when their hour will come,” we must take all that he says in wisdom in his last chapters 11 and 12 to heart.

It’s a message repeated throughout the New Testament.  Know God, love God, trust God, obey God.  We are not God and we can only know what is happening this very moment (and we can barely remember what happened yesterday!)  


There’s a trend on Instagram where very talented photographers stop every day looking strangers on the street and ask to take their picture.  The people (usually women) tell the photographer all the reasons why they are not worthy of having a photo taken of them.  One adult woman with fairly new braces said she would start smiling once her braces came off.  In what — two or three years?  And yet her braces-filled pictures were gorgeous! 

Are you waiting to smile until something better happens in your life?  Until the right person comes along?  The right job?  The right bank account?  That “happiness” seeking roller coaster that Solomon warned us about in Ecclesiastes 6.  It’s a joy killer.  It may look like seeking meaning but it all becomes so meaningless.

Solomon tells us, “go!”  Try that new hobby or skill.  Actively seek out new friendships and opportunities.  Tell your friend or family member how much God loves them – today.  Stop waiting until you get to the point where there’s no longer time, but also remembering all along who you belong to – our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Not hedonism as we looked at chapter 10 and the Right Side of Life.  That’s meaningless folly.  True joy, true enjoyment comes from knowing and listening to the Lord and stepping onto the narrow path.

I read a quote recently that went something like this:

Trusting God is like being married to adventure but if you are looking for an excuse, you will find one.”

In other words, if you truly trust in the Lord for His love and provision.  If you truly believe you are a beloved and beautiful daughter or son of God then He wants you to enjoy this short life He’s given you on this little blue planet.  


This ancient book of wisdom on the surface seems like the last place to go to for this inspiration.  I mean reminding us from beginning to end we will all die…a real party conversation killer.  But sprinkled throughout this truth are the six reminders to “Enjoy Life.”  Enjoy life while fearing the Lord and keeping His commands (Ecc 12:13).  King Solomon did a bit too much of the first and forgot the second until towards the end of his life.  He’s pleading with you hear his God-given words now.

I read this article by editor and founder Joanna Gaines in my most recent copy of Magnolia magazine.  I realized it was a great way to end this series studying Ecclesiastes and the meaning of life.  Especially for those of you who struggle with life’s changes, the good and the frequently not so good.  We may want to retreat, go back to the old.  We pray for God to remove the struggle and the pain.  And it might get us stuck.  Stuck in bad habits and bad relationships.  Stuck in not believing the God who created the heavens and the earth also has a plan and blessings waiting for you.  Stuck in the lie that your personal cycle of life will just keep plugging away, never changing and never ending.  Which keeps us far from the concept of joy and enjoyment.  Listen to this excerpt from Mrs. Gaines’ essay titled, “Space to See Possibility” (spring 2024).

When life swung, for the first time I didn’t hold my breath.  I stood tall.  I looked around.  I worried less what was changing now and instead looked forward to what it could give way to the next.  I asked myself, “What beautiful thing can come from this?  What did I learn that can carry me forward?  And I came to realize that it’s the aftermath that’s the most formative.  It was how we landed, how we let what was different be its own kind of beautiful.  It was how we reset, changed course, and believed in the goodness to come.”

As my head has started to clear from my illnesses – my dizziness is dissipating and my vision is clearing – I look back over how often I sought the Lord.  How often I thanked Him for seemingly endless boxes of Kleenex, soft sheets, a comfortable bed, doctors, pharmacists, drug inventors and scientists, friends, clean water, my husband and daughters, and more.  I pleaded but I didn’t know if I would be healed or when. I felt terrible yet, still I knew my life is good.  A life to enjoy even in the least enjoyable moments.  Because that’s what our faith gives us.  Head scratching, oppositeness from the world.  A life of meaning.

My friend, I hold out my hand to you asking you to join me on this great adventure called Jehovah, God, Jesus, Elohim, Holy Spirit.  Ask Him today, “What’s next?” and go enjoy.

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Enjoying Life With Gladness

At this point in your life, you’ve probably been asked one or both of these questions:

  1. If you were told you were to die tomorrow, what would you do?
  2. If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do tonight?

They are two different scenarios.  The first sees life moving forward for the rest of the world without you in it.  The second is a complete destruction of all we know.  For me, however, the answers are both the same.  I would gather my family and others that I love.  We would spend time in prayer asking God to sustain us through the trial so that we would see His face at our end.  I would want us to gather in laughter, remembering all the wonderful times God has provided us throughout our time together.  We would eat a scrumptious meal, most likely prepared by my husband, enjoy good wine, and pray some more.

Here’s the thing, we should always assume these two questions are a distinct possibility.  That is, if we truly believe the message of the Bible.  First, we will all die, just as we have seen in earlier chapters of Ecclesiastes.  It’s not if but when.  For every single one of us.  Secondly, if it’s not the rapture coming upon us then we should be honest that the world is now filled with weapons that could easily kill us all.  Does this mean we live every day in fear of these two truths?  No, but truth can and should set us free to live in reality.

That “common destiny” is the evil we call death.  So, what do we do with this truth?  We live each day serving the one true God and live in gladness.

Gladness is not hedonism.  Gladness is not escapism.  Gladness isn’t folly.  You could easily imagine, in fact movies and books have taken the “if the end were tomorrow what would we do” topic and shown us the possibilities the unrighteous might take.  Some might go on drug, alcohol or sexual benders.  Getting blotto to ease their fears or pain.  The age-old “eat and drink because tomorrow we might die” path toward annihilation.  It’s a twisting of the message found throughout Ecclesiastes.  Other might go on a theft and destruction rampage.  That thinking shines the light on people who live without wisdom or God.


Why shouldn’t we think this way?  I mean your life is about to end, right?  Let’s remember the times when Moses and Abraham negotiated with God to save their people.   

So here you are, you’ve committed every sin possible against man and God the night before you are to die and suddenly a righteous person pleads for mercy on the world’s behalf.  The ungodly will surely find themselves on the wrong side of that historical moment.  Or maybe that person is praying for your healing because you have been personally given that death sentence.  Will God abide or will He see justice done?  

That’s what the “fear of God” is about.  Knowing there is a presence higher than us who will one day serve justice to all.  Do we love God and therefore want to live our lives in service to Him?  Or do we grieve the Holy Spirit daily, hourly even, and turn our backs on Him?

Until the day we actually die we still have time.  Time to submit ourselves over to the Lord Most High.  Time to reconcile with loved ones.  Time to give out mercy and forgiveness in abundance.  Time to enjoy our lives with gladness.  Because once your time is up, the dead have no such chances.


Joy is the serious business of heaven.”  

C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcom

Rejoicing our lives in gladness means we make the most of every moment.  We make as many everyday moments special.  Because they are special.  That moment right now, you will never have back.  The moments pass by so quickly in our short lives.  Do you want to live them in bitterness and anger?  In the fog of folly and hedonism?  Or in joyfulness and with endurance?  

I saw a great example of taking everyday moments and making them full of gladness.  Once a month a mom of four young children creates “Fancy Dinner Night.”  The children all dress in their finest clothing.  She makes picture menus of the meal she has planned.  There’s candles and cloth napkins and the fancy china.  She plays the role of waitress and hands out the menus as though she is serving clients at a 5 star Michelin restaurant.  Even the toddler has a picture menu from which to choose his meal.  She is training them not only to enjoy an everyday moment but how to act with character at mealtimes.  It was so sweet and beautiful!

Console yourself, dear Battos.  Things may be better tomorrow.  While there’s life, there’s hope.  Only the dead have none.”  

Greek Poet Theokritos

There is always hope for tomorrow; a tomorrow filled with gladness.  Why? Because we have the life and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He suffered the most gruesome of deaths to take on our sins.  He sacrificed not only His human body but His heavenly one when he came to earth to live among us.  He showed us what the citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven will look like – ones who fully rely on God, they forgive and are forgiven, they put others ahead of themselves, they mourn over their sin.  And when He was resurrected, He proved that those Kingdom Citizens will also be raised from the dead and be given yet another new life.  What amazing hope we have for our eternal lives after this short time here on earth.

When we live in gladness and joy, we seek to serve others in His Holy Name.  We love others well in His name.  We take every moment, even in the trials and tribulations, and thank Him for providing for us, for healing us, and being our guiding light.  So why oh, why would we want to miss out on that hope?  Why would we not want to share that hope with those around us who choose daily leaning toward something less?

It’s not by searching for special things that we find joy, but by making the everyday things special.” 

Warren Wiersbe

Friends, our time here is truly short so consider well your answers to the first two questions I presented.  Because eternity is forever.  A forever spent in the presence of the glory of God or of the pain of hell.

King Solomon eventually, in his study of the meaningless life, discovers that we do, in fact, know what awaits us.  If we take the narrow path set before us by Jesus we are greeted with unmeasurable love.  Our knowledge of that truth should give us the endurance to live each day in gladness.  And to spread that truth to so many others.

Are you the type that tells your family and friends that your best china is sitting locked away in some dusty cupboard?  “It’s for special times.”  And those times never seem to come?  Break out that china, the linen napkins, the candles, even if it’s just you enjoying it or grab a few neighbors you’ve always wanted to meet.  Make your everyday special in some way and rejoice with gladness!

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

C.S. Lewis
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Enjoying The Cycle Part Two

Did you miss part one? Go to Enjoy Life: From Meaningless to Meaningful


When my own, beautiful and kind mother-in-law was on her final journey to death our family was blessed to not only weep but laugh, to mourn and to dance (vs 4).  We experienced great love and healing.  Immense sorrow and pain.  On what, we discovered the next morning, was to be her final night, I was blessed to be the one to check in on her about 2:00am and give her the last dose of pain medication.  I sat by her side yearning to beg her to not leave me.  Yet, I knew that was unfair.  It would soon be her appointed time to go to the Father, to have her earthly, cancer-ridden body die.  So, I held her warm hand and laid my head against her slowly beating heart.  A final gift for both of us.  For me to remember her until my last day.

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you may talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—  immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.”  

CS Lewis

We will all die.  For some it may seem too soon or too tragic. It’s the opposing truth to Satan’s statement, “Surely you will not die.” The question is, for whom shall you live?  There are no “ordinary” people walking around as Lewis points out.  They are either children of God or of the devil.  That is where our end lies.  That is why, as children of God, we should feel a sense of urgency to share the saving message of Jesus Christ.  To share His message of pilgrimage, not prison.  It is not a game of “what if” we are playing but of when.


Solomon asks, “For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?”  Our daily toil for things other than God is wiped away in the cycles of life.  No one will care about the wealth or things you amass or how many rungs you fought for on the corporate ladder.  Or even how good you were at keeping your house.  They will remember your faithfulness to living in the fruit of the spirit – with love, kindness, gentleness.  They will remember that you helped bring them out of darkness.  But best of all God, Himself, will remember your love and obedience to Him and count you righteous.  

According to the atheist, life comes spontaneously out of the cosmic slime. All life springs from inert or nonliving matter. Life comes from non-life through evolution. Our origin, in other words, is out of death. Since there is no life after death, our destiny is death. What then is the point or value of life? Life is merely an unnecessary chance interruption in the midst of cosmic death. For the believer, on the other hand, God is our creator. We are given the gift of life. Our destiny in Christ is eternal life. Death is merely a very temporary interruption in the midst of cosmic life. “

Arthur W. Lindsley

To think that “this is it” or to imagine heaven just being a cozy little village lends itself to leading the “meaningless life.” But God is a god of hope.  He is the promise keeper.  And His Word calls for us to live a life looking forward to being with Him in all eternity.  Surrounded by love and light.  We are not Gnostics.  We don’t seek death and the release of our useless bodies.  We are children of the God who gave us physical bodies to live in a physical world as a temporary station to hone us, to mold us, to prune us into the new Adams and Eves. And God wants every single one of us healed and to come home.

Death comes to us all.  Let’s enjoy this earthly life we have, for however long, preparing us and others for our eternal home.

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Enjoy the Surrender Part Two

A continued look at Ecclesiastes Two


My pastor recently asked us if we are committing our lives to God or surrendering them.  What’s the difference you might ask? “Committing” implies a bargain or an agreement from which we could divorce ourselves.  Whereas, “surrender,” waving the white flag, admits we can’t do this thing called “life” on our own anymore.  Our resources are depleted.  We come in rags, desperate for a Savior.  We succumb to the truth we can’t heal ourselves.  Heck we can’t even keep from sinning each and every day.  

So, we find our bodies fully prostrate to Jesus.  Our Lord and King who provides us with the salve for our wounds.  He gives us white, clean robes.  He holds us up steady and strong in front of God.  And God, in turn, showers us with love and blessings and meaning for all eternity.

Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose… only (upon) the Beloved who will never pass away.”

C.S. Lewis

If we think we can heal our pain and suffering with a better job, spouse or car, a bigger bank account, or even seeing those that hurt us suffer the loss of all those things we fool ourselves.  Because here’s the thing.  God is also the source of our ability to enjoy all the things we have.  Yes, as Solomon discovered, the LORD is the source for even enjoyment.  We can try to muster up happiness in our circumstance but without God it’s a wooden stage prop.  Look truthfully at the rich celebrities you see on tv, the news or social media.  They put off an air of glamour and grandeur and happiness.  Then you read of yet another acrimonious divorce, another entry into drug, alcohol or sex rehab.  Or even angry rants about how the “little people” just won’t do what they tell them to do.  A writer in The Wall Street Journal called money, “an article which may be used as a universal passport to everywhere except heaven, and as a universal provider of everything except happiness.”

The LORD Adonai wants your complete and total surrender.  Not a contractual agreement.  He wants to strip you bare and give you all that you really need.  He is the creator of the source.  And He will send you the need – whether through yearning or trials.  

As for my friend, who knows what God has next in store for her.  She may or may not become a regular Sunday School teacher because that wasn’t the whole point.  He wanted to heal her through her willing obedience.  Imitating Jesus, allowing Him to set our direction, opens the world of possibilities.  It may be passing along the Word to 10 little children or He could give her even more responsibility now that she has taken her obedient steps.  The unknown path in the hands of God is more rewarding than any palace or banquet or man-made delight.

It’s time to enjoy the surrender.  To wave the white flag.  To enjoy the righteousness that God wants to bestow upon you.

It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. “

Charles Spurgeon
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Enjoying The Surrender

Part One of our look at Ecclesiastes Two


A friend of mine recently surrendered a bitter, past hurt over to the Lord.  She started with obedience, albeit reluctantly she admits.  The pain caused by her last church has been difficult to overcome.  She told me she’s been praying one of the best prayers you could ever pray: “Help me imitate Jesus.”  As part of a study about revival we’ve been doing she’s also spent a lot more time just listening for God’s Word.  Not asking, pleading, telling, or even praising.  Just listening.  And He has spoken.

You see my friend used to love teaching children the Word of God.  At her old church she was deeply involved in children’s ministry.  After a tumultuous pastor change and the subsequent wrangling for top dog positions within the church, a few staff members were laid off without warning.  She was one of them.  She had given her whole heart over to the ministry and felt betrayed.  It caused her to pronounce she would never work in children’s ministry again, ever.  

And then in January we opened Pastor Robby Gallaty’s study on revival titled, Revive Us.  He encouraged us to spend time with God starting with just five minutes of quiet time.  We soon worked our way up to 15, then 20 and finally 30 minutes.  Over the course of the next two months, we shared what God showed us.  A word here and there, a vision of being loved, a message of strength, a picture of His majesty.  

For my friend?  After praying yet again on how to imitate Jesus, she found herself in her quiet time with a vision of a beach scene.  A man teaching little children at the edge of the sea.  Love abounded from child to teacher and teacher to child.  The teacher turned and looked at her and smiled.  It was Jesus.  She was overcome with tears; real tears streaming down her face in realization that to imitate Jesus would be to do the one thing she had refused.  To do the one thing she knew God had gifted her.  To teach the children.

So, although she had obeyed the week prior and told her new church she would dip a toe in to Sunday school the next week by “observing” she said it with trepidation.  That vision, given to her the day before she was to serve, filled her with love and joy.  When she walked into the children’s ministry department the administrator was so happy to see her – they were short leaders in Kindergarten.  “Would she take on the class?” she was asked.  Without any hesitation my friend agreed.  You should have heard the joy in her voice when she told us how she was immediately loved by the children, how she danced and sang, how she was filled with the Holy Spirit.  How she was healed!

Juxtapose my friend’s experience at Sunday School with King Solomon in chapter 2.  The richest man in the world at the time.  He had everything at his fingertips.  He built palace after palace.  He made large parks and orchards.  He had plenty of female slaves to do his every (and I mean every) bidding.  He had singers, dancers, gold, silver, food, drink – all the delights of a man’s heart (Ecc 2:8).  And he was miserable.  He was seeking meaning and purpose.  He tried buying it and building it and owning it.

The abundant life is to be found in “treasuring up for God” rather than for self.”

Kenneth Bailey, Jesus through Middle Eastern Eyes

What did my friend have?  A humble servant heart, slightly broken and needing mending.  She didn’t seek to enrich her life.  She asked to serve the One True God, Jesus Christ.  So, He gave her 10 little, beautiful faces that Sunday.  Little children who were eager to be her new friend and to mend her heart.


I read once that we should look at ourselves as channels not reservoirs of joy.  Meaning we don’t store up all the blessing for ourselves but rather send them on to others.  Pastor Gallaty reminded us of this truth.  Through intercessory prayer and acts of service we become those channels.

If revival coming to your family or community depended on your prayers, would it come?”  

Pastor Robby Gallaty

When our prayer life and subsequent actions serve only to enrich ourselves, we find our situation mirroring Solomon’s.  Striving and chasing wealth, status, knowledge and even wisdom – with God as a supplemental figure or not thought of at all, really.  When our seeking pleasure or even “peace” is above all else we miss the beautiful work of God He wants to do in our life.  

My pastor recently asked us if we are committing our lives to God or surrendering them.  What’s the difference you might ask?  I’m glad you asked! Join me for my next post Enjoying the Surrender Part Two! Click here.

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His Hand in Mine

Yesterday, I received bad news while at the doctor. For the last few years I have struggled with constant pain and pressure in my left ear. I’ve had two sinus surgeries, a surgery to release pressure in that ear, an eardrum repair surgery, and even recent upper wisdom teeth removal in hopes it would ease the pain on the left side of my face. After another bout of sinus issues, a few months ago the doctor told me I had another pinprick size hole in my left eardrum. He had hoped it would repair itself. The other night I thought I had an earwax problem so I used some solution to try and clear it — causing intense pain. 

So, yesterday I found myself at urgent care for the billionth time complaining about stabbing pain and muted hearing in the left ear. I prayed it would just be ear wax pushing against my eardrum. But after examining my ear the doctor announced my tiny hole was now quite large, again. I couldn’t help myself — I started crying. I probably damaged the ear trying to clear it. And I anticipate the only solution will be yet another painful surgery. Until then, my hearing is muffled and my ear is distractingly painful.

I walked out to my car feeling hopeless, again. Feeling like God doesn’t want me healed. I cried on the phone call to my husband. Beating myself up for probably causing the problem to worsen. Allowing that voice in my head to call me names and doubt the love of God.

Our verse today comes at the end of events of Lazarus’ death and moments before his resurrection. It’s Jesus talking to Lazarus’s sister, Martha, who warns Jesus that removing the stone from the grave will reveal a terrible smell as her brother had been dead for 4 days.  Just before this meeting at the tomb Lazarus’ other sister, Mary, also fell at Jesus’ feet.

We all, at some point in our lives, have wanted Jesus to intervene for us. We have a plan, an expectation, that if He loved us He would see that plan through. At one point in my Christian journey I would’ve taken the news about my health and let it weigh on me for days or even weeks. ”Why won’t you heal me right now?” ”Don’t you see me, Lord?” Although God tells us to bring all our prayers and petitions before Him, He also wants us to have faith in His plan, not ours.

It may seem cruel that Jesus allowed Lazarus to die. For his family to suffer such pain and loss. God’s plan, however, needed a little bit of drama to catch the attention of many. What greater event than the raising of a clearly dead man? Imagine the astonishment, the celebration, the awe!

I don’t know what the next steps will be for my health. My ear may be permanently damaged or the doctors, with the guiding hands of God, may be able to repair it. It may even heal on its own (the glory of the Lord at work in our bodies each and every time we experience healing!). I do know I don’t want to be like “some of them (the Jews)” who, instead of seeing God’s hand at work raising Lazarus from the dead, went to the Pharisees and complained. Imagine that, they complained that a man was healing people, even from death!

Whatever comes to pass I want to see the glory of God working in me and through me– putting His hand in mine. I will rely on Him for strength when the pain overwhelms me. I will look to Him for peace when I begin to despair. I will remember that I am loved and not being “punished” when things go astray. I may cry, I may get sad, I may even worry at bit. He will help change the narrative in my head. And I will ask Him to guide me through this so I may reflect His beautiful light to others.

Soli Deo Gloria. Amen

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Taking The Easy Way   

 “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
17     “Stolen water is sweet;
    food eaten in secret is delicious!”
18 But little do they know that the dead are there,
    that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead. Proverbs 9:16-19

There’s a great debate raging in the United States today about achieving equity through stealing.  Where I live, a law was changed so that if you steal less than $950 and are caught you might receive a small fine.  As a result of this change, reported (much goes unreported) larceny as has gone up 3% in just one year.  Property crime has increased in 24 counties throughout the state.  Stores are closing in areas where shoplifting has skyrocketed.  As one woman put it in an interview, “If I need diapers or formula who is going to get it for me?  They aren’t out there arresting people for shoplifting and everyone knows it.”

Now this post isn’t a spotlight on political missteps or any particular point of view.  But there are consequences when we choose to live and make decisions outside God’s plan for us.  And one of the oft repeated admonitions in Proverbs is about laziness or taking the easy way out.  Some argue that being against allowing people to steal for what they call “basic needs” is racist or discriminatory.  But what really is at work in this particular issue is people who are not in need, such as politicians and activists, taking the easy path.  “Well, if we just let people steal without punishment that solves the problem, right?”

There are free needle exchange programs, safe drug taking areas, laws removed to allow for sleeping on the streets, money thrown at problems, etc.  None of these choices make us step back and take the harder, more intricate path.  Some would say they exacerbate the very issues we are trying to resolve.  As Christians we should be convicted to be more thoughtful and loving and wise.  To have the desire to help God’s fellow sheep be lifted from sin and despair.  


My favorite reality contest show was Biggest Loser.  Not only was the goal to lose weight but the show counseled participants on the root of their weight issues.  Many discovered their pain from abuse or loss triggered their unhealthy eating habits.  Without resolution of that pain, they were sure to continue on their destructive, “easier” paths.  

Friend, if in your own life you seek bandaids rather than true healing, if you try to avoid doing things the right way because it just seems easier, God is calling you to wisdom.  Stolen water is sweet but the dead live in that realm.  He is calling you to life and true joy.

Father, at times it seems simpler and less painful to take the easy path.  Please guide me to making better choices that effect both my own life and the world around me.  Amen

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The Hope That Will Come

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He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34

How many of you need to not just hear these words but soak them deep into your heart right now?  For the last few years, we humans have been through a lot of turmoil.  I won’t say it was the most difficult time ever because I realize the world has been around a lot longer than my 58 years.  In the two world wars alone, it’s estimated 120,000,000 people died.  That doesn’t include the folks who passed from ordinary daily illness, accidents, and old age.  

This year, as so many of us tried to go back to our lives post shutdowns and lockdowns, we found ourselves back in the ordinariness of trials, tragedy, human depravity, illness, lost dreams, violence, and political infighting.  And so, we cry out to God for peace, for healing, for freedom from suffering.

I’ve been pretty quiet this year with my writing as I also deal with the world coming at me from all sides.  With the sudden loss of my beautiful “other mother” I have felt so alone at times.  I scroll back over her last text messages to me and I can hear her voice so clearly.  Since that time, we have celebrated graduations, milestone birthdays, anniversaries, and now the holidays.  In addition, my husband’s business has yet to recover from the financial destruction the last few years have wrought.  We have seen future goals dissolve into mist.  And still we find joy.  We find peace and we find hope.


I listened as my neighbor recently listed all the tragedies that have befallen his family over the past year and I heard the pain in his voice.  What I didn’t hear was how Jesus is helping them cope.  They are going it alone.  On the flip side I sit with my friend who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.  And she is hope-filled.  She is finding joy and goodness in the face of something so scary.  She sees God working in every corner of her life, bringing the right people to her and watching her diagnosis heal broken relationships.  While her earthly doctors will work to heal her body, her faith is also healing her.  Healing her soul and heart.  Comforting and bringing peace to her mind.

I was recently asked in an Advent study to write what I hope for next year.  More importantly it asked how I would react if none of those hopes came to fruition.  It then asked this: list the things you can find hope in that you KNOW will come to pass because of Jesus Christ.  And here’s my answer.  I know that Jesus will never leave me or forsake me.  I know that Jesus has a better, more beautiful place waiting for all of those who believe.  I know that whatever I go through next year God loves me and he loves you.

So I’m starting next year closely tethered to the hope I know will come to pass.  Beginning January 1, I invite you to join me on a 31 day journey through God’s words of wisdom.  His playbook for a life lived as best we humans can.  He is not a god who keeps secret how to more smoothly navigate through the trials and tribulations of life.  No, besides the Book of Proverbs He has given us so much wisdom and insight into the Christian life.  A life that may at times look very different to the rest of the world but a life that is intended to bring about goodness, grace, mercy, and love.

Please join me for 31 Days of God’s Wisdom and invite your friends, families and neighbors.  Be sure to have them sign up at www.emboldened.net to receive their daily email.  In this way you can be a part of spreading His message around the world!

God bless you and Merry Christmas.