Be completely humble and gentle;
be patient, bearing with one
another in love.Ephesians 4:2
A prayer to be a patient person
Faithful Father, I get so caught up in the busyness of life that I forget that my needs and desires are not the same as everyone else’s. When I’m running late, I want to yell at the drivers in front of me for not moving quickly enough. The slow grocery store bagger receives my glare when she doesn’t work at the same speed which I expect. Or when a friend doesn’t respond to my text as prompt as I need, I get frustrated. I’ve come to realize, LORD, through your holy Word that my impatience is an outgrowth of my lack of humility. Your admonishment to love one another needs to be on my lips when I feel that frustration and anger well up inside me. LORD, I know there is nothing more important to you than having your children express compassion and love for each other. Rest your loving hand on my shoulder as a reminder for when I forget this. Quell my impatient heart and mind and replace it with grace. In your Son’s name I pray, Amen.
When my children were younger, I found myself praying daily for patience. My youngest had the unique ability to press all my “hot buttons” at one time. But patience seemed to allude me. I heard a pastor during this time give the advice to stop beating our heads against the wall if something we prayed for wasn’t manifesting and to pray for something else. It made me realize that maybe God wasn’t answering my prayers because He had other work still to do in me.
Fast forward a few years and I’ve finally come to realize, through God’s nudging and conviction, that I first needed to figure out why I was always so impatient. And as the verse in Ephesians today tells us we need to be “completely humble and gentle.” It was a hard pill to swallow when I pulled back the curtain to see my inner Wizard of Oz working away trying to control everything. And when people aren’t acting as I want them to, I become angry and impatient.
Whoever is patient has great
understanding, but one who is
quick-tempered displays folly.Proverbs 14:29
Great understanding. Understanding of our why’s – not just because we obviously have somewhere much more important to be than everyone else – but our “why” of why we think that. Why do we think our time and our talent or even treasure is so much higher on the scale of importance that we need to tap our feet in obvious disgust? Or we need to blare our horns and use our fingers in un-godly ways. If we are late, who’s fault really is it? If we are up against a deadline, who needs to truly take responsibility for that situation?
God’s Word is great at convicting, correcting and revealing our “why’s.” The next time you find that old foe called “impatience” welling up inside you stop and dig deeper. Pull back the curtain on your wizard and ask God to show you what’s causing so much distress. He will show you. And then He will test you, over and over.
We see you Mr. Wizard!
If we all can learn, through a renewed humbleness, to be patient and bearing with one another in love just think how much kinder this world will feel. I’m asking God to start with me.
If you want this too, add the prayer to your daily prayer list and watch and see how God works in your life!
For I am the Lord your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar— the Lord Almighty is his name. 16 I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand— I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, ‘You are my people.’”
Isaiah 51:15-16
When we picture warcraft during the United States Revolution we typically envision lines of soldiers from each side marching toward each other. Here’s a description by the American Battlefield Trust:
“Under normal circumstances, 18th century combat entailed that two armies march toward one another, shoulder to shoulder, and usually in ranks of about three men deep. When the opposing sides were within range, orders were given to halt, present arms, to fire, and then to reload.
After several volleys, one side gained the upper hand, and they would begin to close the distance with the enemy, bayonets lowered. This typically culminated in a full out charge at close quarters; sabers, bayonets, and rifle butts were used to sweep the enemy from the field and claim victory.”
And how did one side get the “upper hand?” The lines would break down either by death, injury or desertion. The battle would be won or lost based on who could hold their line the longest.
We Christians have been in a similar battle since the time of Christ. We link arms in communion and espouse the greatness of God to unbelievers. We are tasked, by God, to go out into our communities and battle against evil through our works, our testimony, and our telling of the Good News of the gospel.
However, from my, albeit, limited experience so many of us have chosen to desert our place on the battlefield. I live in a very liberal state within the United States. Church and Christians are not valued members of many communities. In fact, we are frequently described as racist, hateful, bigots because of our adherence to the teachings in the Bible. And that, I believe causes us to shirk our duties as soldiers for God.
I know too many people who feel uncomfortable sharing the Word of God. Some are afraid to even mention their faith in the course of conversations at work. And yet, it is this responsibility that Jesus gives us. We are not called to be closet Christians, afraid of what to say, how to say it and when to say it. God himself promises to put the right words in our mouth at the right time. We just need to be willing to do the one thing that we are called to do – obey Him.
My BSGs did a study on The Armor of God (Ephesians 6). What stood out to me is the preparation we are admonished to complete before taking up the final Word of God.
Therefore, put on the full armor
of God, so that when the day of
evil comes, you may be able to
stand your ground, and after you
have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of
truth buckled around your waist,
with the breastplate of righteousness
in place, and with your feet
fitted with the readiness that
comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up
the shield of faith, with which you
can extinguish all the flaming arrows
of the evil one. Take the helmet
of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,
which is the word of God.Ephesians 6:13-17
Once we have studied and learned the character and promises of God we need to pray to have Him send us out into the world and speak His words. Each morning when we rise, we should ask God to place someone in front of us that day to whom He needs to say something. And be watchful and ready for that moment. He will give you the words to speak.
Do not merely listen to the word,
and so deceive yourselves.
Do what it says.James 1:22
A few years ago, I held on to that promise of God’s words when my daughter and I were in a great battle. We were pushing and pulling constantly. She was off at college and her faith was growing by leaps and bounds thanks to the organization Athletes in Action. But each time we would talk it would end in a fight or tears. I finally prayed to God to give me His words to bring this battle to an end.
The mother-daughter battle is a timeless one.
One day as we talked, the Holy Spirit gave me these words to say, “I’m so glad your faith is growing. I can see that you have learned how to give a lot of grace and forgiveness to your friends and teammates. I know that I fail you frequently in trying to not hold on too tight to you. What I’m asking for is some of that same grace and forgiveness.”
God’s words, spoken through me, began our path toward reconciliation. I just needed to stop trying to speak my thoughts and my desires and instead let God do the heavy lifting.
God needs us to fill our spot on the battlefield line. He can give us all the tools we need – including the right words to say. We just need to show up and hold the line.
Join me starting January 11 for my next series! Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help create a vision of you! The words we speak and think and pray have a great impact on our life. We will embark on a journey of praying changes into our lives. New Year’s resolutions have nothing on what God can accomplish when we ask for miracles to transform us!
My friend Andrea and I walk our dogs every week together. I typically have my dog on an “e-leash” so I’m very careful to make sure people around me know I have complete control over my dog when it appears he is off leash. We decided to take a new neighborhood route one day. As we passed one house my dog stopped to sniff a small sign at the edge of the grass. It said, “Keep Dogs Off Grass.” I gave my dog the command to heel and he quickly took up the short distance between us. The homeowner bolted from the far side of his car and commenced yelling at us. “Get your dog off my grass!” We were both taken aback at his aggressiveness. My first response was to get my hackles up and yell back, “He wasn’t on your grass.” Andrea, in a nicer tone, confirmed this to the owner. But he wouldn’t let up. He yelled at us as we walked by. And I yelled back. The war had commenced. Salvos were lobbed. In the midst, Andrea became the peacemaker. She had the peace of mind to realize this was not the hill to die on today. She started saying, “Ok sir, have a nice day.” He continued to yell at us while we were about 4 houses away. My anger was apparent. And I realized I had failed gloriously that morning’s first test.
James’ admonishment sounds so simple. And yet I would guess amongst millions of Christians our failure rate in accomplishing this is fairly high.
“Everybody should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
James 1:19-20.
Think of how much those millions of Christians could change the world if we accomplished just this one act. Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” Now, being of warrior spirit I struggle with this. But I realized the ingredient that makes a difference – anger. When God sent out Joshua to take cities he didn’t tell him to do so in anger. In fact, many of the actions he directed him to take were strangely non-warrior like such as marching around cities in circles and blowing horns.
Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” God knows we get mad. But he also tells us to be careful and not also take that anger and sin. When Jesus cleansed the synagogues of “thieves” he was more sad than angry. He wept to see what Israel had become. Think of the destruction and affliction Jesus could have wrought on everyone! But instead He cursed a tree. If Jesus – the most powerful being to grace the earth — could restrain himself can’t we tamp down our anger at the grocery store clerk for taking a bit too long? Or the person who doesn’t immediately bolt forward at the green light? All the while our cross necklace dangles around our neck.
But let’s back up a bit. James first tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Proverbs 18:13 says, “To answer before listening – that is folly and shame.” How many of us, while someone is talking to us, are working on our own story or rebuttal in our head as that person speaks? What we miss are opportunities.
#1 Opportunity to Show Empathy
We can tell when someone is really listening to us. It’s called active listening. According to Mat Apodaca in his article, “How to Practice Active Listening,” active listening involves using many of our senses. It means giving your full attention. You need to show the other person with your body language that you are truly listening. He says doing this builds mutual trust, it boosts self-confidence, we have less miscommunication, have fewer arguments, and are more productive. Here’s his steps to active listening:
Maintain eye contact
Don’t fidget
No interrupting
Watch for non-verbal clues
Restate and clarify
Use some encouraging words such as, “and then?”
Probe for more information
But keep your talking minimal
Validate
I had invited a friend out to lunch awhile back. I wanted to try and recover our relationship. We had grown apart in various ways and it had come to a head with some back and forth justifying of our hurts. As we sat across from each other I looked for ways to bridge our gaps. Topics we could both agree on. But the entire time she kept looking down at her phone that rested in her lap. She murmured responses. I finally asked her if something important was going on that she needed to keep reading her phone. Her two younger children, around ages 15 and 13 were at home. They were bickering and sending her text messages. No one was dying. No one was hurt. I realized she not only wasn’t interested in the conversation, she wasn’t interested in our relationship.
How many times have you done this to others?
#2 Opportunity to Hear from God
When we find ourselves listening to people who are angry, hurt, sad, or fearful we so often want to help. We might share our own past situations or try to convince that person to think or feel differently. But we always end up coming from our own view of the situation. Our wheels are whirling for solutions to their problems, or how to get them to stop being angry at us. With all that jumbled up thinking going on it’s awfully difficult for the one true voice to be heard. God can see all solutions. He knows exactly what to say, and more importantly what not to say. Charles Spurgeon says about praying continuously: “We need to have such confidence about our prayer life that prayer becomes like breathing, effortless, that we do it every moment we are alive.”
How many times have you left a conversation and later thought, “Oh, if only I had thought of that then!” When we are actively listening, we can be more like a super highway. Sending your friend’s, spouse’s, child’s, co-worker’s, stranger’s, words straight up to God. Acting as more of a conduit for God’s instruction, rather than the encyclopedia of all things of how to do (fill in the blank) right. You might just hear God remind us of Jesus’ words:
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”
Luke 6:27
Had I been listening to the angry neighbor I would have heard a few things: 1) He has had issues with dogs on his grass. 2) He really loves his grass, a lot. 3) Love him
Before we build fences let’s first listen to each other and God
#3 Opportunity to Find A New Solution
You really cannot have a relationship with someone you don’t listen to. That includes God. If we want to transform our relationships, we need to hear what people and God are saying. Ecclesiastes 5: 1-2 says:
“Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.”
When we offer up our own solutions, based on our own limited thoughts, they are made within a small framework. But God knows all and sees all solutions. We so frequently want to hear our own plans and arguments because we still want to control everything – even God.
In 2 Chronicles 20, the ruler Jehoshaphat was faced with destruction by the Moabites and Ammonites. He gathered up various advisors to discuss solutions. You can only imagine the various types around the tent. The warrior, demanding they strike first. The appeaser, begging for them to send out an ambassador to beg for mercy. The fearful, worried they were all going to die. But verse 3 says, “Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord.” He resolved. He made a conscious decision, after listening to everyone to then listen to God. And God came up with a solution that not one of those in attendance had even dreamed. To not fight, but instead to take up their battle positions, standing firm and have faith in God. The king then appointed men to sing. Yes, sing. And they watched God destroy the enemy.
It is our faith that God loves us — God wants the best for us that we must first rest upon. With that as our anchor we can know when we actively listen we show the same love and empathy we receive from God. When we are slow to speak it is because we are listening for God’s voice to channel through us. And when we keep our anger in check we honor the God that thankfully does not condemn us each time we fail.
When was there a time that you either realized you had failed gloriously at this lesson or when you were successful? How did you feel after?
emboldened.net 