book of james – Page 4

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Selfish Prayer

September 29, 2020September 28, 2020 krisshetter

I had finally decided to do it. I made a lunch date with my parents to tell them. I was scared. Conjuring up conversations laden with disdain, disgust and even some hatred I drove to the restaurant. As we dug into our sandwiches, I mustered up the courage to blurt it out. “I’ve started going to church.” And then I winced in anticipation. After some silence, I continued, “I was a bit afraid to tell you.” And my mother replied, “Why would you be afraid to tell us that and WHY on earth do you feel the need to go to church?” That, my friends, in one sentence, is the story of our relationship. After I explained a few reasons why I decided to attend church my father finally spoke. “Believing in God is a crutch. It’s something I don’t need.”

Nowadays when I hear people say things like that my response is, “A crutch? Give me two please!” Because there’s nothing I need more than for God to support me through this difficult life. There’s nothing better than Him. I have the promise of eternal life and His love under one arm and the power of prayer and petition under the other.

We live out our lives using so many other worldly things as crutches – our jobs, friendships, our bank accounts, our health, our status, the belief in the power of our own mind, etc. And when those become our source of support our prayer life (if we even have one) directly reflects those crutches.

“You do not have because you do not ask. When you ask, you do not receive. Because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
James 4:2-3

I call this a selfish prayer life. Either we don’t ask because, like a two-year old we think, “I can do it all by myself!” Or when we do pray, we aren’t asking as wisdom-filled followers of Jesus. How many of us have recited a prayer and at the end said, “In Jesus’ name, Amen.”? Have we stopped to consider what exactly we are saying? Is what we are praying something Jesus would ask for of the Father?

“Man is a creature abounding in wants. He is ever restless. His heart is full of desires. Man is like a sea anemone with its multitude of tentacles, which are always hunting in the water for food.”
Charles Spurgeon, Ask and Have

I’ve heard a lot lately about our attitude and faith. The state of our attitude needs to be examined when praying. When we pray, are we complaining and want a “magic pill?” Are we asking for other people to be “fixed” when we really need for God to shine the light on what we need to fix in ourselves? Do we pray to get the promotion so we can make more money or do we pray for God to position us in our company right where He needs us most? When we don’t get the promotion do we then say, “but I prayed about it and obviously God isn’t listening?” We get angry with God when He doesn’t do what we tell Him to do. Go figure.

“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolish….But we have the mind of Christ.”
1 Cor 2:14-16

When we don’t live as though we have the mind of Christ inside us, we pray as though we don’t know the spirit of God. Our heart and mind, with the wisdom of God, must be woven throughout our prayers. My friends and I recently watched the movie, “War Room.” In it, an older woman disciples a younger woman who is having a lot of marital problems. She wants her husband fixed – fixed, of course, how she wants him fixed. The takeaway from the movie for all of us was the intensity and sincerity the older woman had in her prayer life. What I had to realize was two things:

The devil is hard at work, even in our prayers.
We need to use our power and authority given by Jesus to plead with God

And so, I created my own prayer War Room. I pray with conviction that God will hear my prayer and His desires will be done. I pray knowing He wants the things I want – for families to be reunited, for mothers to find their voice, for husbands to step into their roles, for daughters to be filled with the Holy Spirit, for friends to surrender to Him, for our country to be healed. And I pray thankfully for prayers that have been answered and for his intervention into my life and my family’s.

I don’t pray for things anymore. I pray for wise decisions. I pray for doors to be open and doors to close. I pray for hurt feelings to be removed and for me to not hurt people’s feelings. I pray for forgiveness and to forgive. I pray asking for the strength to live a life He wants me to live – not the one my selfish desire wants to be. I pray for Him to take my burdens so I can rest in the peace Jesus left with us. And I pray boldy. I pray calling on all the strength I know God, the King of Kings, has to do all things. It’s time to stop messing around with lazy, recitation praying and start meaning exactly what we say.

“If your desires are the longings of fallen nature, if your desires begin and end with your own self, and if the primary purpose for which you live is not to glorify God, but glorify yourself, then you may fight but you will not have.”
Charles Spurgeon, Ask and Have

As Christians we have the privilege of prayer. Think of all the people you know who don’t know Christ. They are left to their own devices – and we are terribly faulty people. We get our own lives so messed up yet somehow, we think we can control the world around us. We must pray. We must pray His will be done. Our first impulse in the morning should be prayer. Throughout the day we should be praying for others. And at the end of the day we are specific with our prayers of thankfulness. Let’s not be like the sea anemone grasping at whatever luck or speck of good comes our way. Instead, seize on the notion that God wants to give us a good life. All we need to do is ask.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

We’re In Control…Aren’t we?

September 28, 2020September 27, 2020 krisshetter

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”
Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

As I read through the fourth chapter of James I hear one word over and over – control. Even the most passive among us desire control. Control over our decisions, over what jobs we want, over people around us, over people not even around us. Control over our thoughts, your thoughts, over our emotions and yes, over yours. I know a woman who is incredibly sweet and demure. She defers to everyone. She’s a chronic apologizer. You know those folks — they apologize when you are late. It’s seems to be a uniquely female quirk. She is discovering, with God, the woman she’s supposed to be. But what she also wants is to control the emotional outcome for every situation. By thinking we have that type of control over others frequently leads us to decisions resulting in the exact opposite outcomes.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?”
James 4:1

Ouch. Again. There’s that “log in your eye” message. You know, the one that says, before you worry about the speck in someone else’s eye, first remove the log out of your own. In modern times it’s called “baggage.” Why does the sweet, demure woman desire control over emotional outcomes of others? We frequently make decisions to protect ourselves from negative situations. Negative situations we probably experienced growing up. We are either in protect mode or attack mode to keep us from getting harmed. Our triggers call for us to “shields up” (for all you Star Trek nerds). We start playing chess matches of one. Trying to predict if we say or do something we can outmaneuver our adversary. Our human desire to control and predict our lives is fertile ground for satan to work his wicked ways.

CONTROL
the (perceived) power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.

I added the “perceived” part because so often we think we have control when we don’t — causing the friction within ourselves. In the realm of God there’s only one type of “control” He wants us to seek – self-control. For when we seek to control our minds, our tongues, our bodies, based on His desires, only then can we find true peace. I love the expectation God has for us to build upon our faith.

“For this very reason make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.”
2 Peter 1:5-7

Self-control is smack dab in the middle. With knowledge of what God expects of us we must then set our minds and behavior up against that knowledge and control them. And without self-control we cannot persevere. Pretty logical. Without self-control with my diet I won’t make it to my goal. Without self-control over my tongue my marriage might not survive. Without self-control over my body I might put myself in physical harm.

SELF-CONTROL
The ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations.

Between trying to control others or self-control, only one of these are we guaranteed to be successful at on a regular basis. The rest, shall we say, needs to be left to God. Self-control is when we make a commitment to commune with God and study His Word each morning. It’s when we are faced with a conflict we are slow to speak and quick to listen. It’s when we are tempted by food, drink, anger, sex, (fill in the blank) and we turn our mind to God and His Truth – not the truth we are conjuring up in our minds to justify wrong-mindedness.

This chapter of James tells us to lose our grip. Not on our minds but to lose our grips on our relationships, our big plans, our need to know “what’s next.” It’s scary. We are all control-freaks in one way or another. But really, how well has that been working out for you thus far?

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Words Matter

September 26, 2020September 24, 2020 krisshetter

It would be kind to say I don’t have the best relationship with my parents. It would be honest to say I don’t really have a relationship with them at all. What I have is sort of a truce. Not really with them, but with myself. When I finally figured out they didn’t really want a loving relationship, I turned to God for help. I asked Him to help me honor my commitment as their daughter while protecting myself from mental harm. And so, what God and I have worked out is my parents are people that I happen to know and whom I occasionally have an obligation to check in on. And I do that with a positive attitude because I know I am right with God. People to whom I’ve shared that think it’s sad. Some think it’s a bit harsh. Maybe I haven’t tried enough. Maybe I need to fix something else. I struggle each year to find mother’s day and father’s day cards. But words matter. I will no longer lie that they love me dearly. Because they can’t speak it or show it. And so, God helped me to develop the right words to define the relationship – a definition not borne out of anger or hurt but out of a desire to make peace.

Words matter. If there’s one simple statement that defines James 3 it’s just that. We learned this week that once spoken, they can’t be taken back. They are mirrors into our hearts and minds. They define from where our daily wisdom is derived. They can make peace or war. Words are powerful and they matter.

“The tongue is like a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
James 3:6

Wow. And yet on average we speak about 15,000 words a day. Just think of all the forest fires we cause. I’d like to think we are doing a lot of peacemaking instead, but do you think that would be true? James wrote his letter to Christian Jews around 45 AD and almost 2,000 years later his description of our words still rings painfully true.

When we lose control over our mouths and words, we’ve lost control over our hearts and minds. We pull from the fountain of man’s wisdom. We seek earthly gain and earthly results. And then seem surprised when there is conflict. “What? What did I do/say? Why are you so sensitive? What’s her/his problem?” My mom once said to me in the midst of a screaming match, “I’M NOT SCREAMING AT YOU! JUST BECAUSE YOU WENT TO COLLEGE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN TELL ME THAT I AM UPSET!” You want to unpack all that?

Our words (and the way in which we deliver them) can define how we see ourselves in various roles. It’s why we’ve been told to stop using certain words like “housewife” (domestic worker), “illegal immigrant” (undocumented worker) or “unemployed” (economically inactive). The connotations behind certain words have become politically incorrect and therefore must be stricken from our mouths. If we only took as much interest and care in what we basically do with our words every day we’d all be a lot better off.

On one hand we can be so quick to correct someone for their “incorrectness” yet forget that the correction is frequently just what James warns against. Showing bitterness, lack of humility, and lack of mercy brings about our desires to make sure we shove that correctness down someone’s throat. When I hear a younger person deriding an older person for using words such as “oriental” or “stewardess” it shows first, a lack of respect for elders and second, a lack of understanding of historical perspective and therefore a lack of mercy and forgiveness.

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”
James 3:17

I don’t see a lot that going around these days. However, I can only be responsible for one person – me. So, when God and I worked out helping me verbalize my relationship with my parents He made sure I did it with a peaceful heart, a merciful and sincere one. I couldn’t keep living in a fake world where I thought each time I interacted with them that they weren’t who they are. I need to accept them as the faulty people we all are. I needed to stop wanting them to love me and accept the love instead from my husband, my children and my extended family but most of all from Christ. But I also needed to respect my role as their only child.

Words matter. So, I say they are people I happen to know. People that I check in on every now and then because God wants me to. I say it matter-of-factly, without anger, without vengeance, without hurt. God also wants me to pray for them so I do. I pray every day to have the walls they have solidly built around them, through negativity and a lack of any faith, to be torn down. And I know those words are powerful and good.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Makes Sense

September 25, 2020September 24, 2020 krisshetter

Arguing amongst us Christians seems to be at an all time high. I bet the devil is dancing a little jig. We can’t seem to agree on churches being open, wearing masks, gathering together, black lives mattering, funding or defunding the police, whether the president is a racist or not, and on and on and on. We boast of our breadth of knowledge about some topic near and dear to our emotions all the while pressing our perceived enemy’s face down into the dirt.

We forget the most important admonishment from Jesus: To love others.

If we start there, we set ourselves off on the right path toward speaking God’s wisdom rather than “earthly, unspiritual, demonic, wisdom” (James 3:15). But when we decide that something just “makes sense” to us without using the touchstone of God’s Words, oh the rabbit holes we can find ourselves deep within.

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy, and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.”
James 3:13-14

I used to follow a well-known female pastor. I’ve read her books and listened to her sermons. And then an election season came. She was vehement about supporting a certain candidate. She was distraught when he lost. It was based on her hatred for the current occupant of that seat. What made “sense” to her was that the current, very conservative senator was against illegal immigration and therefore a racist – her logic, not mine. However, the candidate she supported was pro-abortion (not just pro-choice), pro-illegal immigration, anti-school choice, pro-legalizing drug use, removing equal voting representation by eliminating the electoral college, and so much more. Just the abortion stance alone had me scratching my head. But a lot of her followers, or fans, went along with her. Just as a lot of Christians can’t seem to agree on abortion, I suppose. When it came down to it, I sought out Godly wisdom to decide whether my thoughts on the situation were in line with Jesus.

What I was led to was not to berate her on social media, not to burn her books, not to ask God to send her into hell. It was to pray for His wisdom and mercy to drop like a blanket over the situation. And with that, I went my own way in peace.

When we make decisions based on what the Bible calls the “flesh” – things that work “best” for us, what makes us feel good, what gets us what we think we want, or what we feel protects us – we are almost guaranteed to go off the rails. Here’s a few contrasts I’ve found when it comes to Earthly Wisdom vs Godly Wisdom

Earthly	Godly
Getting even	Being generous in love and forgiveness
Saving and hoarding	Helping those in need
Protecting “our time”	Generous with our gifts and talents
Avoiding our enemies	Reaching out to build bridges of peace
Being envious	Gaining peacefulness and thankfulness
Gossiping or berating	Building others up
Being deceitful	Seeking meekness and purity
Flip flopping our decisions	Being decisive in God’s righteousness
Withholding love	Giving mercy
Comply with the world’s view	Being sincere in who God made us to be

Just because we call ourselves “Christians” doesn’t mean we can sit back and proclaim all our thoughts and actions good. Even our faith leaders are tested and must continually seek out His Word to ensure we walk on the right path.

“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”
PS 34:14

Pursue it. It doesn’t say “once you’ve sought peace it’s all over, wash your hands, put your feet up and you’re done.” That’s because the devil, that wily adversary, just loves when we let our armor down. Especially when we think we’ve reached the pinnacle of being a “good Christian.” Every single day we are faced with decisions big and small. When we wake up, we decide what kind of day we will have – one living with or without the Holy Spirit. When we get stuck in traffic, encounter an unhappy person, when we see a homeless person, when we get asked to volunteer, we get another text from that relative who has differing political views, when we decide what to watch on tv, and what we say (or don’t say) we are thankful for at the end of the day.

I recently had a back and forth with a commenter who posted on a Christian site something about the organization Black Lives Matter. The commenter stated that the Bible supports the idea touted by the organization Black Lives Matter of destroying the nuclear family and raising our children commune-style. I’m sure that makes them feel good. It sounds lovely. Everyone raising everyone else’s kids and not one person needing to be wholly responsible. When I said I didn’t know where that was in the Bible, she said, “Well, I read the Bible differently than you.” Go figure. So often we find ourselves supporting ideas that sound good, sound loving, sound just, when it’s really based on earthly wisdom, not Godly. When we decide earthly wisdom is correct over God’s we’ve decided to remove Him from the throne. We’ve said we know better than the King of Kings.

For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. PS 95:3

It’s time to place our earthly wisdom right up against the measuring stick of God’s Word. Each time we feel “righteous” or “virtuous” we need a gut check to be sure it makes sense in God’s realm, not man’s.

What areas in your life have you defended which need to be held up against God’s Wisdom Measuring Stick?

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

The Mind-Field

September 24, 2020September 22, 2020 krisshetter

That day we were taking our usual walk through the canyon by my house. What wasn’t usual was that it was April 2020 – the height of the panic of Covid-19. Our entire conversation was focused on trying to discern the truth about the dangers we were facing. My friend turned to me and said, “I don’t understand. Why aren’t you afraid?”

Before I reveal my answer let me back up a bit. I am a maturing Christian. I’m past the “baby Christian” phase and making what my Bible Study Girls call “imperfect progress.” Had this virus and the media response to it been around about 10 years ago I would be freaking out. I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I would pace the house all day with jumbled, unsettled thoughts – not being able to accomplish anything. I would be frantic about the economy, my husband’s business failing, my kids getting sick and so much more. The battlefield of my mind would look like a World War 1 field of hidden trenches, barbed wire and the stench of all things unsanitary. That’s how I handled a lot of problems. Fast forward to that April 2020 walk.

“I’m not afraid of dying is the simplest answer,” I replied. I had peace in my mind and in my heart that for one, I didn’t have control over much of what was going on and two, if I got sick or someone I loved got sick and died I knew I would see them again. I hadn’t thought about it much until she asked me. And when I answered I realized my mind battlefield looked more like victory than a bombed-out shelter. Sure there are the occasional skirmishes but my battle plan is solid.

So many of God’s lessons about going out and making “fishers of men” first require us to get right minded with Jesus. And James reminds us of this when he admonishes us to control our tongue, commit to doing good deeds, show others mercy, and gain God’s wisdom. So, when he says:

“Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”
JAMES 3:18

I first think, “how can I be a peacemaker when I frequently battle myself?” We’ve all joked before about having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. Each whispering in our ear. The tug-of-war going on in our minds is surely not peaceful. And if we can’t get our own mind to be at peace with God then how can we reflect peace out to others?

I was reading excerpts from Francis Frangipane’s book, The Three Battlegrounds. One of those battlegrounds is our mind. The description of the combatants is fascinating. It’s important in any battle to know who, exactly, you are up against.

“We should know this about Satan: he is an ancient and extremely treacherous foe. On the other hand, the strength of most Christians lies primarily in idealism and untested fervor.”

In other words, Satan has had a lot more practice on this battlefield than you or I. It’s no wonder he seems to succeed so easily. We are tricked into thinking all our negative self-talk is justified – even in the face of knowing we are made in God’s image. Ya, but that saggy stomach and those large hips. And people aren’t going to like us anyways. Honestly, with this realization of Satan’s 10,000 page resume up against our entry into this battlefield for what, 30 years, 20? 5? 1? It’s no wonder we struggle finding peace in our minds.

“What happens when you wake up in the morning feeling low, irritated, discouraged, or frustrated – and you don’t know exactly why? There has to be reason. For every root there is a fruit.”
Joyce Meyer, Understanding the Root of Your Fruit

We’ve all done this – some of us are doing it every, single day. We wake up (that is if we ever did get to sleep) and immediately start thinking how bad the day is probably going to be. Sometimes we struggle because we just aren’t taking care of ourselves physically. Did you drink that extra glass of wine and went to bed late? What’s your diet and exercise routine (ha!)? Or maybe it’s a spiritual problem like you care too much about what other people think about you instead of focusing on God. Maybe you’ve forgotten that Jesus lives in you and you’ve shoved Him aside in order to try and “take control.” I do know this, when we aren’t aligning ourselves with God then the opposite must be true. And if that’s the case how in the world can we effectively handle a grumpy salesclerk?

“I will listen to what God the Lord says; he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants – but let them not turn to folly.”
PS 85:8

Turning to folly is the key to that statement. The gift of peace is right there for the taking. God allows us to be sifted by Satan. He did it to Peter in order for Peter to get his pride in check. God knows we have wheat and chaff in our minds. He is greater than Satan. So, when God allows Satan to test us, sift us, and we turn to the angel on our shoulder instead of the devil, God knows the end product will be good. Our minds want to tell us the opposite of God’s love. Our minds want to be distracted by worldly things. Those darn minds can think too highly or lowly of ourselves. And our minds like to seek revenge. Just as James describes the small bit controlling a large horse, we need to use God’s Truth in His Words to tame our wild minds.

This is what my mind looks like when I want to just scream!

God is always working in our life. We just need to pray and persist in our goal toward God-centered wisdom. When we rise in the morning and thank Him for another day to be able to serve Him; when we take the time to sit in communion with Him; when we keep our eyes, hearts and minds on Him throughout our day it doesn’t leave much room for Satan to enter.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”
Rom 8:5

I don’t know about you but I’d rather make it through the minefield safely using Jesus as my bomb-sniffing dog. Constantly looking to him along the path for guidance. He knows what lies ahead. When we are closely aligned, I can see His subtle signals telling me to be careful and which steps to take. When we successfully make it to the other side we can guide others through that field as well.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

My Big, Fat, Sparkly Life

September 23, 2020September 22, 2020 krisshetter

I recently read an excerpt from author Tim LaHaye’s, “Spirit Controlled Temperament.” I love reading about different personalities and picking out which ones line up with my family members. For those that aren’t familiar with LaHaye’s temperaments there are four of them. He calls them the “real you” and they are based on names given by Hippocrates. Your temperament is the combination of inborn traits that affect all our behavior. Your temperament, combined with childhood training, education, basic attitudes, beliefs and principles forms our character. The outward appearance of that character is our personality. Depending upon how genuine a person is those two might or might not match up.

I am firmly in the “Rocky Choleric” temperament: hot, quick, active practical, and strong-willed. I’m self-sufficient and opinionated. I’m not frightened by adversity and I have a “dogged determination.” Here’s the downside. The “Rocky Choleric” doesn’t always sympathize with others and we don’t naturally express compassion. In fact, it’s the one area for me that makes me very uncomfortable. Oh, and did I forget to mention we can also be bossy? LaHaye goes on to say that the Apostle Paul was a Choleric.

“Who but a Choleric would crawl out from under a rock pile and the next day walk 12 miles to preach the gospel?”
Tim LaHaye

And boy have I managed to drop a lot of rocks on myself. I’m working on crawling out.

I wore my pessimistic personality like a badge of honor. I chastised people who I felt lived behind, “rose colored glasses.” I consistently was praised for fixing other people’s problems and resolving organizational messes. But did I mention us Cholerics can be bossy and not compassionate? On the inside, I envied other people’s social lives. I wanted to be that woman that walked into a room and threw off glitter wherever she went. People adore that woman. She gets invited to Palm Springs weekend getaways with the girls and Luke Bryan concerts (with backstage passes no less). I would sit hunched over my computer scrolling through other peoples’ facebook pages seeing all the parties I wasn’t invited to. I envied the sparkly people who were at all the book clubs and Bunco parties. And every time I tried fitting in, I failed miserably. Maybe that’s what James is talking about in this verse.

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
James 3:16

I was trying to do what Tim LaHaye says is next to impossible – change my basic temperament — because I was envious. I wanted to change the person God made me to be. What I needed to do instead was align the positive parts of my temperament to Jesus and learn how to release the negative parts. The world’s greatest generals, dictators, and gangsters have predominately been Cholerics, according to LaHaye. The difference? Their alignment or lack thereof with God.

Envy is a dangerous game. It leads to anger and hatred and sometimes violence. Warren Buffett once said,

‘It’s not greed that drives the world but envy.”

Envy is the idea of wanting what others have and taking it from them if necessary. We see a lot of envy in social media, the news, and even as a basis for some of the riots going on today. Someone wants what someone else has. As Christians, even in our darkest situations we aren’t to envy others. We are to turn to God for all our needs.

“The acts of the flesh are obvious…hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambitions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (condensed)
Gala 5:19-21

Envy never finds itself in good company. I visualize envy as a black swirling, scribbly mass that’s living inside our body. Its disorganized and ravenous. It keeps us from thinking with God’s wisdom. It tears at our hearts so we fail to be compassionate. We end up living far outside the righteous life He wants for us.

So, when I announced to a Bible study group a few years ago that I, Kris Shetter the Choleric, wanted to be Sparkly, also known in LaHaye’s world as the “Sparky Sanguine,” I had to figure out how to do that while remaining true to myself. The Sparky Sanguine is warm, buoyant, lively, and fun loving. She/He is optimistic, compassionate and friendly. Ya, I bet she goes to all the best parties!

James starts us off on the right path to aligning ourselves with God’s plan:

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom.”
James 3:13

Humbleness and envy cannot exist in the same space. When we humble ourselves, we acknowledge the One greater than ourselves. We place ourselves as servants of God. We give up all success to God. When we envy someone we think we deserve better than others. We take personal credit for success. We have selfish ambition,

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.”
1 Peter 5:6

I realized I was walking around thinking I knew better than everyone because I could clean up their messes. Because you know those “rose colored glasses” types aren’t paying attention to all that glitter they leave laying around! I knew without a doubt that my way was the best way. And here’s a little secret: people don’t like to be around people who think they are lesser. People don’t like to be constantly corrected or fixed by other faulty human beings. Go figure.

Lest we think the other three of LaHaye’s temperaments are not without faults he gives us their weaknesses as well. That Sparky Sanguine? Restless, undisciplined, egotistical, and emotional. Seen as the Apostle Peter. The Maestro Melancholy? Self-centered, suspicious, over-sensitive, pessimistic and moody. Epitomized by Solomon. And my husband’s Flip Phlegmatic? Slow, lazy, provocative, selfish and stubborn. And yet LaHaye calls out Abraham as a Phlegmatic. Thankfully, my husband only got the stubborn part of that one!

Every single one of us has something about us that can use some Godly tweaking. I know some people have looked at me enviously – “She’s so organized!” “She’s a good leader and can stand up and talk in front of anyone!” “She’s such an amazing problem solver!” There’s a difference between admiration and envy. Envy takes all those statements about me and turns them into something ugly, as though that other person could never attain those same outcomes. I wanted to start admiring people who were sparkly, not envy them.

ad•mi•ra•tion ăd″mə-rā′shən

The state of being viewed with such approval or delight.

en·vy | \ ˈen-vē \

Painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage

I don’t want to be envied for anything. I don’t need to envy anyone. I admire a lot of my friends. Because funny enough, I’ve surrounded myself with much more compassionate people that I am. And I’d rather just be admired for my faith in God. Because that is attainable for everyone. As for my Big, Fat, Sparkly Life? God and I are doing a lot of work bringing out my good characteristics and wiping away the bad ones. I know that only when I give to God those things about me that I’ve worked so hard to perfect over my 55 years will I find success – which to me means finding joy in as many moments as possible. Ya, that kinda sounds like “rose-colored glasses” living but who cares.

What parts of your temperament do you need to give over to God to help remove or refine? To read more about Tim LaHaye’s 4 Spiritual Temperaments click here.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Our Flappy Rudder

September 22, 2020September 21, 2020 krisshetter

I sat there as only one of two women coaches in the room. There were about 20 of us, coaching girls softball ages 7 to 15. We had recently finished the fall season where I had told my assistant coach to never step foot on a field where I was coaching. He constantly undermined my authority, which came to a head one night where he threatened me with physical harm. Yes, this was kids’ sports at its finest. So back to this meeting. We were all there to be confirmed as coaches for the Spring season. That assistant coach was also present. He asked to speak before we were voted in by the board. He went into a tirade about me and how if I were to be confirmed as a coach, he would go to the city parks and recreation board and have our field permit rescinded. He and the president of the association got into a few aggressive back and forths. I, however, spoke not a word.

He finally sat down. A vote was taken and I was still a coach. Afterwards, a number of the other male coaches came up to congratulate me – for being so brave and not getting into a yelling match. They were very impressed. I was escorted to my car where I sat for a minute and finally took what seemed like was my first breath after the hours long meeting. I hadn’t spoken because I could barely even breathe. I had been so scared I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know it then but God was protecting me. He knew had I spoken up among all those men, my “hero” status would’ve instead turned in to “shrill siren.” By keeping my mouth shut I accomplished so much more.

“The tongue is a small part of the body but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”
James 3:5

How many times have we looked back at a conversation or disagreement and thought, “if I had just kept my darn mouth shut, I wouldn’t be in this situation?” I don’t know about you but I don’t have enough digits to keep track. While others may struggle with not knowing what to say, others of us say too much.

“Set a guard, Oh Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
PS 141:3

This needs to be tattooed on all our foreheads so that when we are talking (or yelling) to each other we can “get” the message. I read recently the concept that words are just the outward expression of our hearts and minds. When you see someone screaming in a police officer’s face these days, I think how shriveled their hearts must be. They are literally out of their minds spewing hatred to another person. When we have a false sense of righteousness, not true righteousness from the Truth of God’s Word, we get into areas of entitlement, judgement, self-worth, and envy.

Our words matter and we shouldn’t use them to just fill up space or hurt people or say things to make us feel better. I once worked with a man to whom silence was a way of life. It made me very uncomfortable; my youthful self always needed to fill that void. A topic or question would be thrown out and he would go silent. Meanwhile, I’m across the table babbling away. I definitely did not have spiritual maturity at the time. Through life experiences and a pursuit of God’s wisdom I am learning to enjoy a bit of silence. A bit. As a parent, I struggled with this powerful tool. As my kids got older, I realized silence could sometimes be scarier than a mom yelling on and on. And when I yelled, filling that void, I said hurtful things. Things that I can never take back.

“With our tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.”
James 3:9

That last part needs repeating – when we are cursing others, we are cursing people WHO HAVE BEEN MADE IN GOD’S LIKENESS. And when we yell, scream, say hurtful things we do so with lack of grace, mercy and forgiveness. But if we are faithful over small things – like our tongue – and use them to bless others then God has promised to make us rulers over bigger things. If we can’t stop corrupting our whole body — hardening our hearts and going out of our minds– because we can’t control that little flappy part in our mouth, then why should God give us more?

I heard a pastor give a challenge the other day called “What If?” It goes like this:

What if we decided to stop cursing, right now, forever?
What if we decided to never say another negative thing?
What if we decided here and now to never complain?

I bet a whole lot of people around us would be blessed. But that all sounds sooooo difficult! Not when you have God by your side. Not when we walk in the steps He wants for us. Not when we decide to live the life He calls us to. Yes, we will be tempted. Yes, there will be trials and tests. Because without those how do we know we are victorious?

“This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.”
1 Cor 2:13

In other words, when we live in God’s world, accept and practice His teaching, and turn to Him for guidance and prayer, it will be His Words spoken when we face trials and temptation. Or maybe, no words at all. We have the mind of Christ inside us. We need to stop pushing Him aside and let Him rule that little, flappy rudder in our mouth. And only then will be sent on the right journey He has called us to.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Though My Feet May Stumble

September 21, 2020September 19, 2020 krisshetter

About 10 years ago my husband and I were asked to lead a church Bible study. As these things go it wasn’t because we were so knowledgeable, it was because we were warm bodies. They said we weren’t to be teachers of the study, just facilitators. They always say that. But you and I both know a good Bible study group has a leader that can dig deeper, draw people out into discussions, and glean insight in topics. True to my character, I jumped in with both feet attempting to educate myself better on each topic that arose. I found the key, however, when in these situations was to 1) identify the people in the group who were more knowledgeable and 2) know when to say “I have no idea.” Fast forward to today. Even right now, as I write this, I fear saying the wrong thing because I realize I’m no “esteemed theologian.” But I do know I have the mind of Christ (2Cor 2:16).

As usual for my morning routine I got up that morning the first of July, did a couple devotionals, and took my dog for a walk. We were about four months into the Covid lockdown. I was leading a small Bible study with friends, and in the midst of a Boldness Challenge in which I had invited about 20 people to participate. The challenge was coming to an end in a few weeks. As I listened to my Christian music on my walk and doing some silent praying, I heard Him speak. “Go home right now and start a blog.” Seriously. Starting a blog hadn’t been on my radar. I enjoyed just conversing with folks in my small sphere. But, feeling challenged by God, I walked in the door, sat down at my computer and typed, “best platforms to start a blog.” Within the hour I had created Emboldened. I invited all my Bold Challenge buddies and a few more to follow the blog. I started praying to the Almighty about what He wanted me to say. In these situations, I typically find myself praying, “Whelp, this was your idea. Now what?”

When I hit 200 visitors from about 10 different countries, I had a revelation. “Oh crud. I have just opened myself up to judgement on a whole new scale.” I told my Bible study girls that while it was cool it was also terrifying. Cool because I’m using a number of my God-given gifts to reach people around the world. Terrifying because I might slip up in my theology and harsh words will rain down.

“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.”
James 3:1

I wonder if that’s why so many of us are fearful about speaking up when talking about our faith? Maybe we will be questioned and won’t know the answer. Or worse yet, we might get something wrong and be harshly judged? But God. That’s what a fellow blogger wrote in one of my comments last week. But God. That statement works so well in so many situations. We were talking about God’s mercy. But if I truly trust God and the direction He has set in front of me, He will guide my words to be His Words. He will take my failings and trials and make them good. I don’t believe James is discouraging us to be teachers. He’s letting us know we need to be prepared to speak the truth of God’s Word and in doing so we will face opposition, sometimes very cruel opposition.

“We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.”
James 3:2

There’s only one person that was perfect – Jesus. I find comfort in knowing that every single person from C.S Lewis to Charles Spurgeon and Peter to Paul and Joyce Meyer to Rick Warren stumble. We all stumble. But think of stumbling this way – it is a result of walking forward and not watching where we are going. James 3 is about stumbling and refocusing our eyes on God. When we don’t watch our tongue, when we envy others we stumble. But when we re-focus on God we find ourselves making peace with the most unlikely people and submitting ourselves fully.

I’m glad you are on this journey with me. When I stumble help me up and I will help you too. No judgement, just a loving hand.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Love+Mercy=Deeds

September 19, 2020September 18, 2020 krisshetter

When my youngest daughter began her college search 6 years ago she was determined to go somewhere far away from home. Her preference was to play field hockey on the east coast. After visiting six states and six colleges in the course of five days we still didn’t land on the perfect place. And then out of the blue she got a call from a school in Missouri who wanted to recruit her. Her reaction, “no way am I going to school in the Midwest.” After a solo visit to the school and the team she changed her mind. She loved it. Set on the banks of the Missouri river, just 20 minutes from St. Louis is St. Charles. It’s a quaint town mostly known for being the starting point for Lewis and Clark. The school, Lindenwood University, fit all our requirements. It also was a Presbyterian founded school. Sitting on the board was the pastor for the large, local Presbyterian church.

The weekend she moved in I took a trip over to that local Presbyterian church. It shared a fence with the university. I asked to speak with the pastor and see what programs they had in conjunction with the school. As I spoke with his secretary, he could see me from his open office door. He could hear me speaking to her. He never got up from his desk. In fact, the answer to my question about the partnership with the university students brought a blank stare. I asked what mission projects they do in St. Louis, and again I got a blank stare. My heart broke. Here was a large church, founded in 1818, and 1952 it formed a partnership with the college. About 68 years later it has failed the thousands of students that pass through the college each year.

Lindenwood University was my daughter’s home away from home for 3 1/2 years

Why tell this tale? James admonishes us to love our neighbors, not pass judgement without mercy, and to show our faith with deeds. And yet this large church found it difficult to do all of these. They were stuck in the success they already had and lost focus on their purpose – to always be bringing new people to Christ. Like so many churches they waited to see who would show up for church. The secretary told me they had once tried a Sunday evening worship designed for the students but hardly anyone came. So, they gave up. I asked her, “Did you try going to them?” Another blank stare.

James 1 and 2 are all about shaking us awake. Pleading with us to be “doing Christians” rather than pew-sitting Christians. Real justification – a saved life – leads to a changed life. He reminds us that serving our Lord may make us uncomfortable when we invite the poor or unknown to sit next to us. He also points out that the rich or those we show favoritism to frequently are the ones that treat us the worst.

“Is it not the rich that are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him whom you belong”
James 2:6

A poor, lonely college student would jump at the chance for a free meal at a campus BBQ or an invite to dinner into someone’s home. They don’t have much to offer us, except their company. They might not look like us, talk like us, or believe exactly like us. They probably won’t find their way to a church by themselves. The mere act of reaching outward and being a friendly face to those who don’t feel comfortable walking into our church doors shows them mercy. Think about the last time you were at a social gathering and didn’t know anyone. Finally, someone comes up to you and strikes up a conversation. You are filled with relief that you are no longer alone.

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”
1 Peter 4:10

When we stand in front of the gates of heaven, expressing our thankfulness for the gift of salvation we will be judged. Jesus may stand there smiling that gentle smile back at us. And then say with sadness, “Why didn’t you ever open and use my gift?” We beg for God’s grace, mercy, love and forgiveness. And when we are bestowed all those, do we open them up for all the world to see? I once asked my husband for a fancy mixer. It could whip, grind, shred and all manner of cooking/baking related activities. But if he had given me exactly what I wanted and I thanked him profusely yet never opened the box and used that mixer, wouldn’t my husband think I didn’t truly appreciate it?

When we don’t judge people for their age, what they wear, how they talk, what their background is, their politics, etc., and just accept people as we encounter them, they are open to our love and our message of God’s love. Imagine that church in St. Charles holding a first weekend BBQ for anyone who wanted a free hotdog and an invite to a worship service. Or, a helpful church team assisting parents and students moving into the dorms along with a care package with a card welcoming them. A contact number to call if they need help. And each month having an outreach event to just say, “we are here and we love you.”

You see, when we accept the challenge of loving our neighbors and showing them mercy, God opens the doors to all the best deeds. And even if just one person responds, that’s one more person on God’s side of the ledger. We should all be praying regularly for opportunities like this to be placed in front of us. When you become God’s co-worker (1 Cor. 3:9) you lose count of all the blessings that unfold. As for my daughter, the Christ-centered group Athletes In Action met regularly on campus and another student invited her to come. It saved her in so many ways. She eventually become a leader and a speaker who told her testimony to many other student-athletes. She also met her future husband through the organization. As a parent living almost 2,000 miles away, I still remain ever thankful there were Christians who took up James’ challenge.

If you know a Christian athlete who is in college, encourage them to look up Athletes In Action

Will you take up James’ challenge this weekend? Pray for your eyes to be opened to opportunities to show your faith by your deeds, love and mercy. Click on the photo and listen to this song by Danny Gokey and Mandisa called “Tell Somebody.” It’s a great song about opening up that gift!

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Christian T-Shirt Not Needed

September 18, 2020September 17, 2020 krisshetter

God decided to use me at just the right time to teach me some very valuable lessons and to test my growth in Faith. I was deep into what I was calling God’s Boot Camp a few years ago when I got called up to the Big Leagues. I never thought God would ask me to do anything special. I just wanted to be a better Christian. So, when I got the call it hit me out of the blue. I reacted a bit like the Bible’s Samuel. It took little Samuel three times hearing God’s voice before his mentor said, “Dude, that’s not me calling you, it’s God. And by the way, when you hear him again, pay attention.” That might be a paraphrasing of the story, but you get the picture.

Over my 55 years, I’ve dabbled in helping the homeless but I would by no means call myself a “homeless advocate.” I’ve collected food, blankets, and clothing for various drives. My family has even served meals at churches in the downtown area. I didn’t see it as part of God’s plan for me. It was simply something you do as a “good person.” The morning of February 18, 2017, changed not just my outlook on what God wants from me but also my entire view of grace. The morning I heard the Holy Spirit was like any other. I slept snugly in my bed, squeezing in as much sleep as possible before getting up for work. That morning’s dream, I realized, was no ordinary dream. It had a tangible feeling to it, yet seemed surreal. I imagine it was how Scrooge felt when he was led around by the Ghosts of Christmas. But my guide was no ghost, it was Jesus.

I woke up to a man standing beside me. I glanced to my left and saw the holiest of holy men. A glimpse was all I dared take for fear that if I stared too long, I would never look away. I could feel his strong and worn hand on mine. Each fold of his clothing draped softly and gently, begging me to clutch his sleeve. His flowing waves of hair blew in an unseen breeze. But most of all, his eyes warmly spoke to me, beckoning me to listen. He led me forward to a scene, brushing away mist. There I was, with friends, preparing a meal of soup, crackers, cookies and water. Laughter permeated the air. My house was a buzz of activity. Children playing and adults, meeting for the first time, sharing stories. Then He showed me and others making sandwiches and placing them in bags with fruit and water. He said simply, “Do this” as he spread His arms across the scene. Now let’s stop here for a second. I’m not pulling your leg here. Every single detail was being shown to me by “the Man.” Have you ever watched a spy movie where the home office gives the spy some lengthy instructions including serial numbers, addresses, names and phone numbers, and you think, “I can’t even remember my kids’ names. Somehow Tom Cruise manages to remember every detail while also doing parcour throughout Paris?” Well, it was like that. Jesus was asking me to remember every detail, without notes. Okay, back to the vision. He then led me to a parking lot in downtown San Diego by our ballpark that I hadn’t actually been to in about two years. He said, “Bring them here.” He turned to me and said, “Make 100 of these.” I kid. You. Not. When I woke up, I had every detail emblazoned in my mind. He was a man of few words, but it was mighty powerful.

Show me your faith without deeds and I will show you my faith BY my deeds
James 2:18

I want to be a “doing Christian.” I could have had this vision and told a few people about it. Then blown it off as just another weird dream. However, like a trained Navy Seal called up to action, God’s Boot Camp training kicked into high gear. This was like the final exam to see if I had been paying attention. I spent that day ruminating over this vision. It wasn’t a dream. I’ve had plenty of those dreams where you wake up still mad at your husband for doing something awful in your dream! This was more like marching orders. Funny enough, a few days before, my Power Thoughts devotional was “Passing the Test” and the Bible verse was 1 Peter 4:12,

“Beloved, do not be amazed and bewildered at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test your quality, as though something strange were befalling you.”
1 Peter 4:12

The next day I revealed this vision to my husband. Whether or not he was going to (again) think I was a total lunatic, I had no idea. His response? “Sounds like a good plan.” I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this, but I love him. He thinks I’m pretty wacky, but he’s also seen a lot of spiritual growth in me over the years. What he didn’t know is this plan wasn’t going to be just for the next week or next month. In fact, this project God had for me was to last for 11 months. When things weren’t going well, I prayed, “Hey, you wanted to do this, so show me the solution!”

The next day an angel spoke to me. Wait, let me clarify so you don’t think I was dropping acid or something this whole time. This angel was a friend in my Bible study group. She immediately asked if she could come help me shop for the first 200 bags of food. Until that moment, I had never known that she once prepared and served food to the homeless every month for many years. She missed those times and was eager to find a way to continue that work. Over the next 11 months, she was my steady partner. Between frying up 300 chicken legs outside in the pouring rain to handing out cheetah-print undies, she was all in. She was up for just about anything, ready with a smile and, when needed, an “oh well” when things didn’t quite go as planned.

On Monday, February 20, 2017, after a few miracles even at the grocery store, a team of moms and their kids arrived at my house. I didn’t know who would show up after I sent out a few text messages explaining what I was planning on doing that week. I put the kids in charge of decorating our paper bags. The moms created a production line of soup, crackers, fruit, and utensils. We made 105 bags that morning. Those that could joined us in the cars as we headed to that ballpark downtown. What we saw upon arriving was eye opening. As a I mentioned, by July, news of the homeless crisis was splashed across every headline in America. This was 6 months prior to that. We had no idea of the hundreds, if not thousands, of people living in a few square blocks in our downtown. It’s not that we didn’t go downtown. We didn’t go to certain areas of downtown. Street upon street were tent cities. Homeless filled the ballpark parking lot – which during night games was emptied out to allow for cars. As we gathered moms and their kids around my car, we grasped hands and prayed. We prayed that the food would be a blessing, we prayed for our safety, and we prayed thankfully for the opportunity to do His blessing. In less than one hour we had given out our 100 lunches. We saw young and old. Infirm and, yes, insane. Drug users and drunks. We talked to those in despair and those desiring a better life. We also were blessed. We were called “angels.” We saw smiles and received thank-yous. They told us “God bless you this week.” We saw crosses—so many crosses—around people’s necks. These people wanted to be sure WE received God’s blessings. We who have so much and they so little. But we all have God’s grace and forgiveness. This was just day 1. And after a truly amazing day of handing out food I had plenty to send up in praise. I laughed out loud when He stepped in and put people in just the right places.

I spent the next months, once a week, making a minimum of 100 and usually at least 200 bags of food. People I didn’t even know offered to drop off packaged food items. Teachers who were friends of friends had their students collect toiletries for me to distribute. God led the way every single step of the way. He told me what to buy, when to buy it and where. He told me where to deliver the food. But more importantly he told me to trust Him. I went to some scary places, by myself with God hovering over me.

Even the artwork, drawn mostly by my nieghbor’s granddaughter, meant so much to people

Had I just woken up that morning and thought, “well, that was interesting” and never embarked on the deeds He called me to I would have missed out on so many God moments. People marveled at the work God was doing in me. Thousands of people were blessed and were truly thankful. I didn’t wear a t-shirt proclaiming myself as a Christian when we gave out food. But every single person assumed I was with a church, by my deeds. I would tell them, I’m just here because God asked me to come.

What is God asking you to do and maybe you’ve ignored Him? If you are stuck because of fear you need to do it anyway. Close your eyes, take the step, and Trust Him.