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Death to My Evil Twin

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

One of the most amazing gifts God has given us humans is our mind.   The brain weighs about 3 pounds and contains around 100 billion neurons— cells that carry information.  There’s an old myth that we only use about 10 percent of our brains.  That has been debunked.  I know that must’ve been false because it seems some people don’t even use that much!  But seriously, new studies show how much of our brain we actively use varies from person to person.

I can tell you without a doubt that my mind runs 24/7 – seemingly all by itself.  And usually, off into thoughts that seem like they belong in someone else’s body.  It’s my destructive thoughts that tell me I’m not good enough.  I’m not worthy.  I’m not loved.  I will never be forgiven.  I’m ugly, fat, wrinkly, etc.  It’s like my mind gets taken over by my evil twin.

Isn’t that the battleground so many of us find ourselves on day and night?  Those anxious thoughts that keep us looking at the clock at 1am, 2am, 3am….?

Praise God that He gave us a shield and sword to fight back the beast who is really behind all those thoughts – the devil himself.

My friend Caroline gave me a great tool last year that helps me in this spiritual battle.  It’s a piece of paper with three columns.  The first column lists the destructive thought such as, “There’s nothing special about me.”  The second column speaks God’s truth against that thought with statements like, “I have been chosen/set apart by God.”  And the third column lists the shields and swords of God—related scripture.  In this example it lists Ps 139, 1 Cor. 1:30 & 6:11, Eph 1:4, and Hebrews 10:10 & 14.

This handy guide is something I can pull out whenever my evil twin brain decides to ruin my day or disrupt my sleep!  The best part?  You have the same tool at your fingertips.  The Word of God was given to us not just to learn more about Him but to help tear down those thought strongholds that want to rule our lives.  His mighty words were what Jesus Himself used when tempted by the devil.

I was recently reading in my Sparkling Gems from The Greek about the difference between using His Word as a “logos” or a “rhema.”  Logos is a “sweeping stroke.”  When we study the Bible this way we get broad and full direction for our lives.  But in Ephesians 6:17 the word “rhema” is used.  That means a sharp and fatal blow to the enemy.

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word (rhema) of God: Ephesians 6:17

What Paul is directing us to do is have at the ready “fighting words.”  God’s words that we can call up quickly to mind and tear apart any thoughts the devil wants to use against us.  And we can use those words knowing the power and authority that lay behind them.  

God in His greatness knows how amazing our mind is – He created it.  He knows the power and dangers of our imagination and our thoughts.  The devil knows it too.  But with the gracious gift of the Holy Bible we can shield ourselves from the devil’s lies.


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The God of Hope

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

When you hear people argue about God being a man-made construct I always wonder what they think about the concept of hope.  Hope, in general, is experienced by other animals in simplistic forms.  My dog hopes that a piece of my dinner will fall off my plate in to his mouth.  And given his level of whining and drooling his hopefulness can get pretty intense.  But if my dog were to say, get cancer, would he understand the hopefulness of being cured?  When my previous dog, Molly was old and ill we called in a woman who does home euthanasia.  As the drugs were administered into Molly’s body we gave her a feast of her favorite treats.  She resisted succumbing in her desire for one more treat.  But was she able to hope to not die?  To hope that something better awaited her after death?

It seems throughout God’s animal kingdom creatures were gifted with just enough mental capacity to meet their basic needs.  It’s obviously so or else we’d see them building super computers and skyscrapers.  The animal kingdom doesn’t concern themselves with their fellow animals’ living conditions in far off lands, much less those in the house next door.  As humans, God instill in us something that no man can truly explain.  A sense of the past, the present, and a hope for the future.

It’s that hope, that “looking forward to God’s good work” in our situation that is so uniquely human.  And I praise God for it.  

Like love, hope is found in many forms.  We can hope it doesn’t rain out the baseball game.  We hope we get the job.  We hope our vacation turns out the way we dream.  We can hope for a better life.  Hope for a cure.  Hope for a child.  But the hope God really wants us to rely on is the hope based on trusting that what He has in store for you and I is for good.  

We can have hope that the trials we currently are going through will teach us something important and will leave us with something good.  We can have hope that God has a good plan for not only ourselves but for our families who believe in him. We can place our hope in a future beyond this place more glorious than we can imagine.

I’m so thankful God gifted us with this unique brand of hope.  Without it we have hopelessness and despair.  We would be left only with anger and disappointment and confusion.  

When I look around these days, I can see the destructiveness from lacking in God’s hope.  The aching and yearning for answers.  It leads people to depression, violence, and self- harm.  But that’s because deep in each of us is the knowledge that brokenness is not the state God wants for us.  Its foreign in our bodies and therefore makes us uncomfortable and unhappy with life.  We desire to be hopeful.  Some of us just haven’t accepted the prescribed method – God.


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His Next Chapter

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Ephesians 2:10

I was asked recently in a Bible study to list all the religious and “good works”  activities I do.  This included serving my family and friends.  After making the list we were then to write who we do those activities for – other people, ourselves, or God.  I have to admit that my list was mostly things I do for myself.  Including said Bible study.

How often do we go to church to “fill ourselves up?”  When we join a small group or Bible study is it in service to God or to help us learn more about ourselves?  Or worse still, out of some obligation?  When we clean our floors is it to please our spouses?  When we volunteer to help in the church childcare, usher, fill bags for the needy, is it to elevate ourselves or check off our boxes?

I recently had a bit of a perspective shift about why I should devote myself to my Bible studies.  In the past, I’ve taken the point of view that they help me either “fix myself” or learn more about God.  But what if instead we view our study time as just the first, necessary step to then fulfilling our obligations to God?  To be prepared for Him to use us in ways He has planned?  The last step isn’t to die daily to sin.  Our last step is to be His implements, His well trained workers. Like students at medical school. They take classes to become medical doctors. Students don’t stop at just the classes. They have a goal — to cure people.

Today I praise God for His expectations of us.  He expects us to learn how to lean on Him and trust Him.  He expects us to clean up our hearts and minds for Him.  But all that is in anticipation of Him sending us out to fulfill His plans.  

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?  James 2:14

I’ve met Christians who, though they love the Lord and have worked on cleaning up their own house, have stopped at their own doorstep.  They are satisfied with not stepping forward and saying, “You’ve worked a good work in me and I’m ready for what you need of me.” 

It’s not enough for us to stop being prideful.  To stop seeking revenge.  To stop worrying.  To stop loving money.  We need to ask God, “What do you want me to do with this great thing you have done?”

And now that I’m thinking differently about God’s expectations, I’m looking at my time with God in a new light.  When I go to church, I want to learn more about Him and worship Him.  I want to actively thank God for allowing me to serve my family and friends in His name.  And I’m asking, ”what in this text or in this Bible study question can prepare me to serve Him?”  I don’t want to stop being a part of God’s plan at the end of the book.  I want to help Him write the next chapter of something new.


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A Steady Stream of Helpers

The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies. Psalms 118:7

When I was in college I took a speech class.  Each week we were given a different topic and had to write and deliver a speech on that topic.  At the time I was not a Christian.  I had a belief in a God but that’s as far as it went.  In my class was a young man who said he wanted to become a pastor.  Each week he took the assigned topic and made his speech into more of a sermon.  It really annoyed me at the time.  I felt like he was always discussing the same topic – God.  It seemed like a “cheat.”

What I didn’t expect (and the young man probably would never have assumed either) was that 40 years later I would clearly remember one of his sermons, I mean speeches.  I have since heard variations of the same theme.  A man takes ill and as a steady stream of people come to help him in various ways he turns them away, waiting for God to intervene.  And when he dies, he asks the angel in heaven why God never came.  And, of course, the angel answers, “I sent you a lot of help but you turned them all away.”

Today I praise God that even when I feel He isn’t present in my trials I can know He truly is. He is my helper. I know, because in retrospect I’ve been able to see more clearly when He has sent help my way.  When He has placed people in my life that showed up with the right message at just the right time.

So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”  Hebrews 13:6

Even when we seem so far away from God He sends us help – like the aspiring pastor in my junior college speech class.  And during the last few years I’ve made it my goal to shrink the timeframe gap from when I need His help to when I recognize He is working actively in my life.  In the past it has taken me years to see how He was with me during difficult trials.  But because I have embraced the truth of His promises, I now try to find God in every situation I face.

A couple years ago my husband and I were set to spend Thanksgiving in Colorado.  We were to meet up with both our daughters and my husband’s family.  We hadn’t all spent Thanksgiving together in years.  At the time I was going through a lengthy process of diagnosing a parathyroid problem.  The Thursday before Thanksgiving I underwent what I was told would be a simple office procedure to take a sample from my parathyroid. 

The next day I was having trouble swallowing.  Two days later my neck had swollen to almost twice its size.  By Sunday afternoon I was in the emergency room.  They called in surgical specialists so I could undergo emergency surgery for a bleed in my neck, caused by the “simple” procedure.  And Monday afternoon, the day before we were to leave for Colorado, I sat in my hospital bed listening to my doctor tell me we needed to perform another surgery to remove my parathyroid.  In other words, I wasn’t going anywhere for awhile.

I was missing my daughters terribly.  They were both living away from home for schooling.  And I had imagined all the hugs and kisses I wanted to dole out.  And now I sat in that hospital bed knowing those hugs and kisses would have to wait.  In years past I would’ve sat sobbing.  Crying out in anger to God.  But my faith progression – knowing about those promises and believing in them – had brought me too far.  Instead, I praised Him and thanked Him for getting me to the emergency room that day.  For the quick work and able hands of the nurses and doctors.  For the funny surgeon that got called in to fix the bleed.  For the outpouring of love my family bestowed on me.  For the first doctor, who months prior, was suspicious about my symptoms in an urgent care clinic visit and requested an unusual blood test that led to my initial diagnosis.  For the view from my room.  For the steady stream of God’s helpers.  

He is with me.  He is with you.  It may be hard to see Him right now.  But that kind smile when you need it, the annoying person who leaves you with a message in your memory, the open or closed door – it’s all Him.  Look for His work and you will find it.


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The Power In Us

…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

How glorious would it have been to live when Jesus was physically here on Earth?  To sit at the Sermon on the Mount and hear His words directly from His mouth?  To be in a busy marketplace and bump into Him – turning to see directly into His face?  Isn’t it amazing how He spent so little time here with us yet the impact has been so astounding that even our days are marked by when He arrived?  And when He ascended, the gift He left behind is something for which we can never be thankful enough.

“If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.  John 14: 15-17

When you study the Bible you see how Jesus and the Holy Spirit touched lives even before the time we say God became fully human.  Their presence is woven throughout the Old Testament.  So it’s not as though they were created suddenly.  God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit all spoke the world into creation and have placed their holy hands on our lives throughout history.

So, today specifically I praise God for the gift of the Holy Spirit and for being our constant intercessor, our inner voice, our God whisperer.  

It is the Holy Spirit that helps us to pray when we don’t know what to pray – because the situation has gotten so dire.  It is the Holy Spirit who whispers to us to get up and do God’s work.  It is the Holy Spirit who partners with us when we need rescue.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  Romans 8:26

I shared with my BSGs in the past that when I’m really stressed or worried I have a difficult time praying.  My mind is so jumbled and full of negative thoughts I can’t seem to quiet it down.  One of my BSGs responded saying, “I’ve just cried out, “help me!” when I don’t know what to say.”  That’s great advice.  It says it right there in Romans 8.  The Holy Spirit will help us pray.  Will give us the words to speak to God. 

Friends, God is so beautiful and loving that He didn’t leave us orphans.  He didn’t leave us grieving because He left us with a piece of Him inside of each of us.  I once heard a Christian teacher say that we don’t need to attain patience, kindness, love, etc.  We already have all those imputed through the Holy Spirit that lives in us because we believe.   We just need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us release those gifts.  To help us pray the words to fight back against the devil.  To whisper to us “love this person right now.”

We need to believe that God has given us the access to this awesome power.  And once we do that, we should pray to unleash it with all its glorious might.


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Beautiful Creations

Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, and also seven pairs of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth. Genesis 7:2-3

Like millions of other people, I’ve enjoyed watching the amazing fetes of strength and endurance on display during the Tokyo Olympics.  The way humans can push themselves mentally and physically to limit – just because they want to – is astounding.  No other creature on this planet puts themselves through so much hardship and pain just to reach a self-imposed goal.

But what really fascinates me when watching the Olympics is the beauty of God’s diversity.  In just one 200 meter heat you will see people of every color.  I saw a picture of two United States track athletes embracing in exhausted joy.  One had a creamy caramel color skin and another a jet black skin tone.  And just to the side was an athlete with skin as white as snow.  It was beautiful.   All colors of skin tone from the whitest white to cream and light tan to black as night.  And all God’s creation.

Today I praise God for His diverse creation.  For not making us all the same yet still having the same desires to be loved, liked, admired.  For being so different and yet still afraid of so many of the same things.  

I’m fortunate enough to live in a pretty diverse community.  In the United States, even though the news might make it seem different, there’s diversity in almost all communities.  And for the most part we get along gloriously.  The same can’t be said of every country.  I believe God made us so diverse because He loves beauty.  Yet He made us so much alike so that we could still relate to each other.

The young Indian family that lives to the left of me, the Chinese family that lives to the right, and the Filipino family that’s a few houses up all have the same desires that I do.  To have healthy families, good jobs, to enjoy a walk around the block or a backyard BBQ with friends.  There’s so much the same in all our differences.

When I was raising my kids just a few years ago that was the message our schools, families, churches and media wanted to get across to them.  Multi-culturalism was something to be celebrated.  It’s sad to hear that message change.  As a Christian we mustn’t fall prey to demonizing one of God’s creations over the other.  That’s sliding backwards into old territory.  

News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed; and he healed them. Matthew 4:24

You’ll notice in the Matthew verse that Jesus healed all.  He didn’t select who He thought was the better person based on skin color, country of origin, race or gender.  He loved all and called all to Him.  Wouldn’t it be a great message for the world to say Christians don’t favor or degrade any person, no matter those outward identities?  To remind the people that God made us all – wonderfully?  That black or white or brown or any variation can be healed by turning their lives over to Jesus?

The next time you have the chance to watch an international sporting event take a moment and say a praise to God.  For His amazingly diverse creations.  For being a God who simply loves beauty and welcomes all into His kingdom.


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We Belong

Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts,the Spirit who calls out, “Abba,Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. Galatians 4:6-7

For a long time, I just didn’t feel like I “belonged.”  As a child, I didn’t have a group of friends to hang out with.  My one friend, a neighbor around the corner, frequently left me out of activities with her other friends.  And when I got into high school I felt more like I was on the edge of my friend group.  Fast forward to adulthood and I never quite fit in with the boozy softball coach crowd, the gossipy PTA crowd, or even the Girl Scout leader gang.  

And when I married I was an outsider to a large, wonderful family.  Yes, they welcomed me but I couldn’t share in all the stories from long past because I never lived in the town they were all from.  My own family consists of myself and my parents – who I see and speak with infrequently.  

I spent a lot of time in prayer over the years asking God to work His changes in me so that I could feel like I belonged, somewhere, anywhere.  As my faith has progressed I’ve come to realize that I first need to accept being a part of the most important family of all – God’s. I praise Him today that He sees us as His sons and daughters.  We are His beautiful children whom He loves unconditionally.  We belong to Him.

That’s been a hard message for me to soak in and accept.  When I stand in the mirror I’ve asked God to help me see what He sees.  To love myself as He loves me – no matter where else I may have felt rejected. 

And it’s funny how God’s ways work.  When I focus on God’s love, gifts and promises the more I feel that sense of belonging.  He places me with new people and new situations that He has prepared for me.  I slough off the old negative feelings and instead give all glory to Him who loves me and who draws me closer to Him.

I recently heard a lesson about belonging. As Christians we are admonished to “remember our last name.” Like children of our earthly parents we are to go about our lives remembering who we belong to and who we represent. That really hit home. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior I became a part of a special family. One where I’m expected to remember my last name and act like I belong to the Lord Most High.

It’s amazing how God gives us the next steps when He sees we are ready — when we start acting like He expects us to.  He brings in new people to our lives when He knows we can openly accept His new ways.  I find myself so incredibly blessed by, not only the women that have been populated in my sphere, but the men.  Strong Christians who love people.  Faithful Christians who serve others.  Young, old, every race and quirkiness. And I feel like I belong.


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Change Maker

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 2 Corinthians 7:1

Like everyone else on this blue planet I’ve had my share of relationship problems.  From friends to family and love relationships to work ones I’ve had my share of angry words and uncomfortable silences.  In the past, I would rush in to trying to solve whatever problem had arisen.  I couldn’t allow a quiet, cooling down period.  I needed to work out the disagreement right now.  I tried using my own solutions –whether it meant apologizing, arguing my point, denigrating myself, or even pretending nothing happened.

When I finally started taking my most important relationship seriously all that changed.  When I placed God above everything in my life it helped to prioritize all my other relationships.  It also meant I turned to God in seeking solutions to interpersonal interactions. 

I recently have been turning to God about a friendship that has had its ups and downs.  Instead of fretting over it and attacking it with my old gusto, I’ve given it over to the Almighty.  I’m asking Him to let me know when to speak and when to stay silent.  When to apologize and when to stand firm.  And I have found His solutions to be so different than ones I would’ve dreamed up. His solutions have love for others first and foremost.

Today I praise God for being a change maker.  For taking us broken, imperfect beings and turning our lives upside down.  When I started taking Him seriously, He started making some serious changes in me.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.  James 4:7-10

Besides the amazing gift of salvation, the promise that we are changed is quite possibly one of the greatest “selling points” of believing in Jesus Christ.  My old way of doing things?  It caused me a lot of heartache, despair, worry, and loneliness.  And when we truly accept that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior we can’t help but be changed. We need to embrace it, ask for more of it, and look in anticipation for it!

Recently, after an interaction with a difficult person, I drove home praising God and giving Him all the glory.  I said, “Thank God you have changed me Lord!  Thank God I’m not the person I used to be!” Instead of angry, unattractive thoughts, I could only think of how good God is and how much He loves me.

I’m still working on my relationship with our amazing Triune God.  But I know that when I get that right I can look forward to getting a lot of other things right.  There’s so much that still needs to be changed in me and I know Jesus is the just the man for the job.


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The Perfect One

Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him Hebrews 5:8-9

My BSGs have decided we can whittle down any Bible study to one word: “Obey.”  We joke now about how if we want any blessing, to hear His Word, to see our lives transformed well, all we need to do is “obey.”  Easy enough, right?  Just ask a few thousand Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years.

In a study we are in right now the question was asked: “What happens between childhood and adulthood that causes children and adults to respond differently to God?”  We all knew, and had experienced, the various reasons.  My friend Caroline shared that a child’s faith is so pure and beautiful but an adult’s return to faith takes on a different and deeper beauty.  We all agreed a child’s faith has yet to be tested.  Yet to be disappointed and hurt.  

I came to my Christian faith as an adult.  I believed in God throughout my childhood.  I don’t know why – some amazing work of God reaching into my child heart and mind telling me He was there.  But I fell away from that quiet, pure relationship as I got older.  I didn’t understand how His ways were so completely different than the world’s.  And now, as an adult I’m learning something that has set my feet more firmly on the path to Him.  He is perfect.

Today I praise God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit for their perfection.  For when we accept that basic truth, we can turn back to it over and over when we consider disobeying Him.  Because we have to examine why we choose to disobey His Word.  Is it because we think we know better?  We don’t trust Him?  Or maybe we just haven’t taken the time to listen to Him?

When things go off kilter in our lives and we also accept that God is perfect we then must also accept that what is happening has a purpose.  Which means we need to lean in closer to listen and obey.  We need to rest in the peace that He’s “got this.”  We don’t need to run ahead of Him and solve every problem on our own.  We don’t need to stay awake night after night brewing and stewing over our children, our job, our relationships.  We take it to Him and say, “You have the perfect solution.  Show me.  Lead me.  And I will obey.”

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

For so many of us this is our hill to conquer.  Our place of greatest need.  To acknowledge His perfection and our imperfections.  To accept that we need to humble ourselves and accept His correction or wisdom.

I may no longer rest my head at night with the same pure, unquestioning faith that there is a god.  But my adult-sized faith has been set in the kiln.  My relationship with God has become a beautiful piece of art.  In His perfection He is transforming my heart into something worthy of His love.   


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M’ Lord

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” Psalms 23:1

I love a good British murder mystery.  In fact, much of my time during the lockdowns of 2020 were spent doing puzzles while watching the folks across the pond “do each other in” in any number of mysterious ways.   And as I write this, I’m deep in a modern day mystery set in a British lord and lady’s castle.

As an American, I find the hierarchical system of British life fascinating.  There is a definite caste-like system with every day, less educated people almost bowing their heads to those who are “Oxford Educated” or come from some land owning blood.  And while I don’t pretend that fiction is complete reality the theme does run throughout novels and television, whether set in modern times or not.  

At times this deference arises out of fear – fear of losing a livelihood usually – and other times out of thankfulness for generosity.  While other times it just simply stems from an ingrained respect for our “betters.”  

The other day I heard a Christian teacher ask, “How many of us accepted the gift of salvation but have yet to accept Jesus as your Lord?”  

And of course, God kept making this point with me the last few days.  On day 2 of my new Bible study the concept of having a healthy “fear” of the Lord was the topic.  

“The way we relate to the Lord demonstrates the respect we have for Him.”

He Speaks To Me

So today I praise God and His Son Jesus for being my Lord.  For being the type of Lord who provides for our needs.  For being a gracious landowner and allowing us to be its tenants.  For being the type of Lord that is above reproach and deserves our deference.  He is the Lord above all lords.  

At times of peril we can seek His protection behind His castle walls.  At times of abundance He will join in with us in celebration.  And when we grieve He grieves with us.  

We upstarts in the United States tore ourselves away from the concept of bowing before lords and ladies.  To almost a fault we have no respect for “position.”  I wonder if that makes it harder for us to bow our heads to the one who deserves our utmost respect?  When we get told to “obey” it tends to raise our hackles.  

As a Christian I need to put aside any cultural history I may have in my genes and remember that God sits above me, deserving of all glory and honor.