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Enjoying A Wisdom-Filled Life Part Two

Did you miss part one? Click here!

I knew the mistake as soon as I made it.  But it was too late.  I gave my consent and the ball began to roll.  I knew the mistake I had made because for the last few years I’d heard the advice I disregarded over and over in my church home group.  Ask God first.  Not during, not after, but first.  And here I was doing the exact opposite of that good advice.  I kicked myself for still being what is called a “baby Christian.”  Knowing the Word and knowing the wisdom dispensed therein but not living it out. 

I’ve mentioned this unwise situation in which I placed myself in past posts.  However, when I was pondering the “most unwise decision I ever made” this kept coming to mind.  Mostly because of the pain and suffering it caused me and my family, even to this day.  

You see, about 11 years ago, I begrudgingly agreed to be my kids’ elementary school PTA president.  For a year prior, I told the PTA board I would not be president.  It wasn’t my lack of ability that held me back because I knew I could do the job.  No, instead I warned the board that they weren’t ready for my leadership style.  Big changes were ahead for the school which meant big changes for the parent-teacher association.  We would need to adapt and change in ways I knew would make people very uncomfortable. 

At the time my Christian faith consisted of going to church occasionally, hosting a home group, and not much else.  I wasn’t closely tethered to the Lord.  I hadn’t gained the wisdom necessary to handle political and interpersonal conflict graciously and with self-control.  On the other hand, I was organized, comfortable with leading, and skilled at creative solutions.  I knew how to get things done.

As that year wound down and the nominating committee kept pestering me, I found myself resigned to being the only one willing to step into the role of president.  So, late one evening I heard my voice telling a person over the phone, “Yes.”  As soon as I hung up, I realized I hadn’t sought out the one opinion I needed most, God’s.

For the next two years my family’s life was filled with endless meetings, long phone calls, strife, and an absent mother.  When I wasn’t physically occupied with the details of this volunteer job, I was absent mentally.  At home, I cried frequently and raged about problem parents.  I’m sure there were some good times sprinkled in between.  But those memories have been squeezed out.

It’s not that I believe that had I prayed, the Lord would have told me “no.”  It’s that if I had gotten a “yes” after praying it would have put a completely different spin on the entire experience.  Had I taken all that wise advice I would have kept close to the Lord those two years and been at peace, even during times of trouble.

It’s one thing to seek wisdom, as we saw in the last post, but it’s another to actually use that wisdom every day in our lives.  What would it look like in your life to heed the advice of say a Christian whom you trust?  The advice of your pastor?  The advice given in your Bible study or devotional?  The advice spread throughout the Bible?

Nehemiah was desperate to see to the rebuilding of the second temple.  A noble venture for sure.  Just like me stepping up to lead our PTA.  But, he also knew if he went behind the king’s back there would surely be trouble.  You can see tucked in the verse the most important step he took – “So I prayed to the God of the heavens.”  And the right words came out of his mouth to the king.

Some sources suggest that the average person makes an eye-popping 35,000 choices per day. Assuming that most people spend around seven hours per day sleeping and thus blissfully choice-free, that makes roughly 2,000 decisions per hour or one decision every two seconds. 

 Eva M. Krockow Ph.D., Psychology Today

Is it possible to ask God to impart His wisdom for each and every one of those seemingly small decisions? Maybe not, but we can wake each day and ask Him to direct our steps through the Holy Spirit.  He gives us that nudge, that convicting tap on our shoulder, that encouragement throughout our day.

Too often, however, when we seek to make decisions about life, we seek only knowledge.  And knowledge is not wisdom.  Knowledge is data, facts, numbers.  Wisdom is experience and life.  

“Our knowledge is a receding mirage in an expanding desert of ignorance.”

Historian Will Durant, Store of Civilization

One thing I always admired about the disciples is how many questions they asked Jesus.  Although Peter seemed to rely on his own knowledge so often, we get to see him use not only his experiential wisdom and the wisdom imparted by Jesus as he grew more and more faithful.  From Peter thinking he needed to defend Jesus in the garden by attacking the soldier, to denying his association to Jesus, he reflected us all.  We know better than the Almighty God.  We know how best to defend ourselves, how to protect ourselves.  When it all fails, we become destitute and hopefully turn to the Lord.

How many times have you found yourself spiritually or emotionally destitute because you didn’t heed good advice or even seek it?   Wouldn’t it be nice to turn to God first?  To hear the Holy Spirit whisper to us and heed the good advice? 

Experiential wisdom is gained in its proper time and procedure.  Which is why we all should be leery when people say a young person has an “old soul.”  An “old soul” is one that has been on the battlefield of life and has come out with a few scars.  

I started paying attention to my own prayer life and the results thereof.  I went from praying after a decision for God to help it not be a bad one (like running the PTA) to praying in the midst of the process.  Finally, I’ve stopped myself so many times lately and said, “I need to pray first.”  It might be a quick prayer about something seemingly insignificant.  Or it might be a few days, seeking God’s counsel.  And surprisingly, this whole wisdom seeking works pretty good. I can now enjoy my decisions.

Friend, let’s be honest, we can never know all the “right answers.”  If we wait until we have them all you will never take any forward steps.  For some, that keeps them from putting their trust in God.  Because they haven’t gotten all the answers cleared up about the mysteries.  We have to be ok with trusting that God is the Almighty Creator and He hasn’t imparted us with all the facts He has about life.  We have to be ok with asking Him for help and being satisfied with what He gives us.

Being ok with not knowing everything but acting wisely is not ignorance as some might accuse the Christian.  We can and should rest peacefully in knowing what we need to know.  And living our lives out with wisdom, peace, joy and goodness the information we do know — That God is a god who loves us and teaches us and will never leave us.  He is a god who seeks us and wants us to live forever in His Holy Kingdom!  

When we first, seek God, then seek His wisdom for our life, and finally live out that wisdom each and every day “it will be well.”  We can watch and be at peace when the unwise, godless people around us make bad or even evil decisions.  We pray for them that they would know God, who can give them a new life.  

We all need wise people around us who fear the Lord first.  We all need to use their wisdom and our experiential wisdom each day so we can enjoy our life especially in times of trouble.  Let’s start by placing God as our most Holy Rabbi front and center. 

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Enjoying A Wisdom-Filled Life


A teenager asked his father if he could go to an unsupervised party where there would surely be drinking.  He denied his request.  “Aw Dad, why not?” he complained.  “I’m in high school now!” Dad replied: “Because some will drink and the party could get out of control.” “But, Dad, those are just very small parts of the party!  “My answer is ‘no,’ and that is my final answer. You are welcome to stay home tonight, invite some of your friends over.  But you will not go to that party.  End of discussion.”

The teenager walked dejectedly into the family room and slumped down on the couch. As he sulked, he was surprised to hear the sounds of his father preparing something in the kitchen. He soon recognized the wonderful aroma of brownies baking in the oven, and he thought, “Dad must be feeling guilty, and now he’s going to try to make it up to me with some fresh brownies.  Maybe I can soften him up with lots of praise when he brings them out to me and persuade him to let me go to that party after all.”

The teen was not disappointed.  Soon his father appeared with a plate of warm brownies. He took one. Then his father said, “Before you eat, I want to tell you something: I love you very much.  That is why I’ve made these brownies from scratch with the very best ingredients. The best stone-milled flour.  The best free-range eggs.  The best organic pure cane sugar. Premium vanilla and the finest chocolate.”  The brownies looked mouth-watering.

“There is one ingredient I added that is not usually found in brownies.  I got that ingredient from our own backyard.  But you needn’t worry, because I only added the tiniest bit of that ingredient.  The amount of the portion is practically insignificant.  So go ahead, take a bite and let me know what you think.”

“Dad, what is the mystery ingredient before I eat it?” the teen asked.  Dad answered, “Why?  The portion I added was so small.  Just a teaspoonful.  You won’t even taste it.” The teen said, “Come on, Dad; just tell me what it is.”

“Well, OK, if you insist.  That secret ingredient is organic…dog poop.” The teen instantly dropped his brownie back on the plate and began inspecting his fingers with horror. “DAD!  Why did you do that?  You’ve tempted me by making me smell the brownies cooking for the last half hour, and now you tell me that you added dog poop! I can’t eat these!”

Dad asked, “Why not?  The amount of dog poop is very small compared to the rest of the ingredients.  It won’t hurt you.  It’s been cooked right along with the other ingredients and you won’t even taste it. Go ahead and eat it.”  His son replied, “No, never.”

The wise dad continued, “And that is the same reason I won’t allow you to go to that party. You won’t tolerate a little dog poop in your brownies, so why should you tolerate a little immorality in your life?  We pray that God will not lead us unto temptation. So how can you in good conscience entertain yourself with something that could easily get you into trouble?”

The teenager lowered his head, then looked up at his Dad. He smiled. He finally understood. He never did go to high school parties where there was drinking.


Ah, the wisdom of a father.  Don’t most parents wish and hope we can provide such clever and wise examples to their children?  And best of all, they listen and obey?  But alas, so much wisdom dispensed, even to us, falls on deaf ears.  We know better and usually think we can do better than the person trying to save us from heartache or hardship.  

The Old Testament can be broken into four categories of books.  The Pentateuch, the first 6 books, Israel’s history, the prophets, and then wisdom.  Two entire books, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, have as their focus the topic of wisdom.  It must be something God finds very important in the lives of us humans.  Yet, wisdom and the enjoyment of having a life filled with it, seems so elusive to many.

We all have that family member, friend, neighbor, co-worker or acquaintance who causes us to scratch our heads each time they make yet another disastrous decision.  A decision that looks a lot like the same mistake they made last time when they sloughed off good advice.  Or maybe that person is…you.

Much of the wise advice we hear throughout our lives has its roots somewhere in the book of Proverbs, authored mostly by King Solomon.  In Ecclesiastes 7 & 8, he goes on to remind us to seek wisdom but that wisdom, by itself, is not to be the end-goal.  He should know.  Having asked God to grant him the wisest mind, he eventually managed to really mess up his life pursuing all manner of fleshly desires of which his gift of wisdom afforded him by becoming a wealthy king.  He became the poster boy for “do as I say, not as I do.”  

Had he heeded his own wise words he might have produced offspring that didn’t want to betray him or destroy the kingdom once they were in power.  It’s a good lesson to learn when we dispense wisdom to our fellow, earthly travellers.  As Jesus once reminded us, remove the log out of your own eye before you comment on the speck of another.


All that aside, it appears that at end of Solomon’s life he recognized so many of his faults, sins or indescretions.  The result was his study of life in Ecclesiastes.  And with that we get such wonderful pearls as:

If there was one thing, after seeking and thirsting for Christ, that we should spend our life attaining it would be wisdom.  It’s not easily gained.  So often the attaining requires we suffer first.  Isn’t that what we so often try to impart to others?  How to avoid pain, suffering, loss by taking our hard-earned advice?  

Like the son in the brownie story all of us need discipline sometime in our lives.  It’s the first step in wisdom seeking. The person who learns from their mistakes or experiences (or others’) gains one step closer to being wise.  One step closer to living a peaceful, joy-filled life.

None of us can come to the highest maturity without enduring the summer heat of trials.”

Charles Spurgeon

Solomon isn’t telling us in the above verse to not have a good and happy life.  What he is saying is our seeking joy and happiness at all costs is a shallow goal and not wise.  When our yearning for closeness to God can only be satisfied during joyful times, we miss out on the richness that tough times can bring.  Life, as we all know, isn’t all rainbows and unicorns.  As he has said throughout Ecclesiastes, life is frequently about toiling and repetitiveness.  Wisdom is rarely sought and found while we are whooping it up at a party.  

Wisdom is found before we enter the door and remember the terrible hangover we had that last time.  Or the fight you and your spouse got into because of inappropriate behavior at the neighborhood BBQ.  Or even maybe the DUI your friend got when you drove home together.  When we brush all that aside for a “good time,” we’ve entered into the land of folly.

Wisdom is gained by remembering.  Remembering the wise words shared with you.  Remembering the results of poor decisions, either by yourself or someone you know. 

 Wisdom isn’t just knowledge.  My mother-in-law was a very wise person.  She didn’t go to college, she didn’t have some big shot important job.  She was a mom, a sometimes employee at dress shops and florists.  She was a devoted Christian and a ready-hand at many volunteer events.  She was creative and quick-witted.  And she dispensed wisdom with ease.  Wisdom gained from a dirt poor childhood with an alcoholic dad.  From watching her brother make one bad decision after another ending up on drugs and in jail.  She didn’t need self-help books to know about life, she lived it and remembered it.

To know is not to be wise. To know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.”  

Charles Spurgeon

Friend, in this first look at wisdom let’s make a good evaluation of our own lives.  Are we enjoying a life of wisdom or are you continuing to make the same bad decisions?  Are you saying “talk to the hand” when someone who has wise words wants to impart them to you?  Do you brush aside past mistakes thinking things will be different this time?  Have you prayed, as King Solomon did, to the Lord asking for wisdom, in each and every aspect of your life? 

Wisdom will keep you from the extremes, as Solomon reminds us in verse 7:9.  It will preserve you, your good name (Ecc 7:1), your family and other relationships.  Seek first to be obedient to God and then ask Him for insight and wisdom.

I want to leave you today with a prayer that many may be familiar with written by theologian Karl Paul Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971), called the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

Enjoying A Wisdom Filled Life Part Two now available! Click here.

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Enjoying the “Enough” Life Part Two

Did you miss part one of Enjoying the Enough Life? Click here!


Enjoyment without God is merely entertainment.  

Warren Wiersbe

No one on this great blue planet is without sin.  Without sinful desires and thoughts.  Without sinful emotions.  So, if we seek contentment, or unconditional wholeness solely from within what do we find?  Our sinful selves just like I did when I embarked on my happiness journey a few years ago.  And we turn back to the unfulfilling emotion of fleeting happiness.

What guides a person to being truly joy-filled or content in every situation? How do we achieve that “unconditional wholeness” researcher Daniel Cordaro mentioned after visiting that Himalayan tribe?  It requires something outside us to guide us through the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations of life.  It’s easy to enjoy a new car.  But what about when it breaks down?  It takes no effort to enjoy the birthday party at the park you so expertly planned but what happens when it rains?  Does your happiness bucket completely empty and you turn into Attila the Hun, raging at others?  Or you weep and sulk feeling the cosmos hates you?

That strength to endure a peasant life that Tolstoy witnessed, a life of labor and toil, a life of disappointments and tragedy, and yes, even a life full of wealth comes only from God.  (Ecc 5:19 & 6:2) Through the Holy Spirit who comes to dwell in us when we say, “Yes!” to Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  It’s the fountain from which we draw on every single moment of every day to guide us and strengthen us.  Because my friends, you cannot find wholeness without Him.

Deep-seated in the American mind, for example, is the disastrous idea that we should pursue happiness. But what is happiness? And what are the realities through which one could achieve it? And how, practically speaking, does one pursue happiness? One might pursue happiness on the carpe diem principle. But that can be understood in many ways. It could endorse a sensuality of the present moment or endorse devoting the present moment to improvement of one’s character, to serving others, or to serving God. Usually in our times, however, it is some form of sensuality. Our choice between these options will have profound implications for our efforts to become a genuinely good person and to live harmoniously with reality, with how things really are.

Dallas Willard

My Bible study ladies are currently studying Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount by Jen Wilkins.  In the first week we read and discovered the messages behind the first 12 verses, also known as the Beatitudes.  Jesus’ goal in this sermon was to re-define for the disciples what not only the Kingdom of Heaven looks like but what its citizens look like.  The first four beatitudes describe the character of its citizens:

  1. We Are Poor in Spirit: accepting we are weak and sinful in need of a strength outside ourselves
  2. We Are Mourners: we recognize our sinfulness and weep over it daily.  Asking God for forgiveness for each time we act, speak or think (even feel) in opposition to God’s will for us.
  3. We Are Meek: in modeling Jesus’ submission to the Father in going to the cross for humanity’s sins and therefore suffering a terrible death, we too seek humility and submission to God. 
  4. We Are Hungry and Thirsty: not for earthly glory, praise and wealth but for our hearts and minds to be daily cleansed.  We constantly seek His will for our life so that we can glorify Him.  We cast off our old selves and thirst for the new bodies and New Eden to come.

These citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven?  They will be abundant with fruit and content in all situations.  The fruits of love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, patience, self-control and faithfulness can be seen by all around them.  They spread that fruit and His Word throughout our families, communities and the world.  We achieve the ultimate peace in the face of persecution.  Peace with God.  Our friction between us is gone.  We are made whole because He breathes the Holy Spirit into us, making us one with Him.

One with the Creator of all things seen and unseen – Elohim, Jehovah.  What more could a tiny, sinful human want for all eternity?  All other pales in comparison!  No self-help book without God can help you achieve such gloriously contented status. King Solomon discovered that our sinful toil without God is usually for our own gain and our appetite is never satisfied on our own (Ecc 6:7).


I once saw an interaction with a non-believer and a street preacher.  The young, unbelieving woman stated, “How can you say I won’t go to heaven (which as a non-believer why would she care?) when I’m a good person.  I’m better than most Christians.  I don’t lie, cheat or steal.”  Yet, as Jesus reminds us further in the Sermon on the Mount if you even let your heart yearn to do any of those things you are guilty.  And I would bet all that I have she has, in fact, actually lied.  She has probably stolen something – maybe someone’s dignity by gossiping about them.  And cheating?  She might have thought that little deed or breaking some municipal law wasn’t that “big of a deal” but it’s still cheating.  She is at odds with God, broken and not whole.

It is only through the gift of reconciliation for our sins, no matter their size, of which Jesus Christ paid for, that we can come upright before the God of the Universe.  Where we receive mercy and forgiveness so we don’t have to live in shame and hurt, grasping for pleasures to dull our pain.  No, instead He brushes us off and clothes us in white garments.  He brings us into His family and calls us His sons and daughters.  He pours out His love and gives a piece of Him to live in us so we can have that “unconditional wholeness.” He gifts us with “enough” each day so that we may be satisfied.

We are made perfect and complete, meaning made whole, when we face life’s trials and rely on the God who gives us strength and hope.  We are honed and shaped into the image of the only being that walked this earth who was sinless and fully content — Jesus.

Friend, if you want to get off the roller coaster of seeking “happiness” and then being brought low by trials, look to our All Mighty God and His Son.  He is our provider, our protector, our armor, our joy, our hope.  He has never broken a promise and He never will.  He promises you a new life at the end of the rainbow – not a pot of gold.  And with that promise and hope we can live a contented, meaningful life of “enough” in a world of chaos.

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Enjoying The “Enough” Life


In 2014, researcher and founder of the Contentment Foundation Daniel Cordaro, took a team of researchers to the remote area of the Himalayas in Eastern Bhutan.  Their research subjects were a group of 200 nomad families with which no outsider had previously contacted.  It was to be the final look into a 5-year, cross-cultural study of how people identify and react to a long list of emotions.  Upon showing the villagers dozens of facial and vocal expressions, even having been cut off from the rest of the world, they recognized the vast majority of emotions with accuracy.  However, it was one emotion that elicited a different response to the norm.  That emotion was contentment.  Their guide, Dr. Dorji Wangchuk, stopped for a moment when they reached that word.

“In our culture, this emotion is very special. It is the highest achievement of human well-being, and it is what the greatest enlightened masters have been writing about for thousands for years. It’s hard to translate it exactly, but the closest word is chokkshay, which is a very deep and spiritual word that means ‘the knowledge of enough.’ It basically means that right here, right now, everything is perfect as it is, regardless of what you are experiencing outside.”

This explanation by Dr. Wangchuk brought chills to Cordaro who goes on to say in his story of this experience, “No matter where I went on planet earth, all of the cultures I interacted with revered contentment as one of the highest states to cultivate in life. Yet in the West, we were obsessing about happiness—and feeling more anxious, depressed, and stressed.”*

While Mr. Cardaro may have decided through his research that “happiness” rather than contentment is a relatively new goal which rears its head mainly in western society, I would argue it’s actually been around for a very long time.  You only need to turn to Ecclesiastes 6, indeed much of Ecclesiastes itself, to see pleasure seeking or happiness sits atop many people’s motivation in life.

King Solomon would relate to this prosperous man; it might even be a reflection of the King himself.  A man who gathered riches, property, wives, children, slaves, food and wine with abandon.  Yet was drawn to study the meaningless life.  A life much the opposite of those Himalayan nomads.  


A 2016 survey by YouGov asked Americans whether they would rather achieve great things or be happy.  81% said they would rather be happy.   Despite the universalness of happiness as a goal, it was hard to know how to define it or how to achieve it.**  And I ask you, on a daily basis are you seeking happiness or contentment?  Are you seeking to feel the emotion that pleasure provides or resting in the peace of enjoying “enough?”  

The “I need to do and seek out what makes me happy” hasn’t really worked out that well for us humans.  It’s a life led by self-fulfillment and fleeting emotions.  Back a few years when I decided to seek happiness, I went about it working hard at changing myself.  I needed to be less, I suppose, like me and more like people who appeared happy with loads of friends.  The problem was I was still me.  I was still filled with sinful thoughts and behaviors, most of which I couldn’t see or didn’t want to.

Through study of God’s Holy Word, I finally had my “ah ha moment.”  I was seeking with the wrong motive.  What I needed to seek was joy and contentment, not how to be happy.  Why? Because desiring happiness didn’t mean to love others, rather just myself.  It meant getting what I wanted, not what God wanted of me.  It led me to covet and be jealous of those who seemed “happier.”  


In the late 1800s, Russian author Leo Tolstoy experienced his own profound revelation when seeking the meaningful life.  Born to aristocrats, he had all that wealth could provide.  He ran in highly intellectual circles debating the politics and issues of the day.  And for all that upper-class privilege he once stated, 

My life came to a standstill.  I could breathe, eat, drink, and sleep, and I could not help doing these things; but there was no life, for there were no wishes the fulfillment of which I could consider reasonable… had a fairy come and offered to fulfill my desires I should not have known what to ask.”

In the course of events Tolstoy became involved with a group of Russian peasants.  What he witnessed was a hard life.  One with heavy, daily labor.  And they were content.  They, he said, knew the meaning of life and death and labored quietly.  They endured deprivations and suffering.  They lived and died seeing the good.

So how do we achieve this state of contentment?  Must we cast off all our hard earned wealth?  Sell our homes and become Himalayan nomads?  Become like John the Baptist and wear rough clothing and eat bugs?  

Enjoying life is a matter of character, not circumstance.

Booker T. Washington

Like so many lessons gifted by God, the hard won path to contentment is not about our outward appearance.  If it were, the successful business person would be doomed.  Yet success, from a wealth perspective, is not seen in the Bible as something to be disabused.  It is only seen as causing potential difficulty for the believer.  It wasn’t the prince’s wealth that caused him not to be able to follow Jesus.  But rather his clinging to it for his happiness. (Matt 19:21-22).  His character was filled with greed and pride.

In the completed study by Cordaro he found there were two views of what people think makes for a contented life.  The first he called the “More Strategy.”  It’s that view of the western happiness mindset.  More money, more stuff.  The problem, he found, was once you got more, that feeling of happiness drifted away like the mist.

The second approach is the “Enough Strategy.”  It’s when people look inward to find the happiness.  He poured through thousands of years of ancient wisdom traditions and found that the ancients almost never used the word happiness.  More than 90 percent of the time, they used the word contentment, and described it as a state of “unconditional wholeness,” regardless of what is happening externally.

The unfortunate diagnosis by Cordaro however, is that somehow we can become whole all by ourselves.  It’s the same mindset of modern, secular psychology and 1,000s of self-help books,  He didn’t research which ancient wisdom traditions were successful at this goal and how.  If he had, he might have discovered Jesus.   

Enjoying The Enough Life Part Two now available! Click here.

*Excerpt from Greater Good Magazine, May  27, 2020 What If You Pursue Contentment Rather Than Happiness?

** BBC’s Nat Rutherford

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Enjoying The Gifted Life Part Two

Did you miss part one? Go to Enjoy Life: From Meaningless to Meaningful


I heard a pastor recently talking about our wants and needs related to our prayer life.  How we try to manipulate God into approving our behaviors.  We mask our sinful desires by praying for prosperity yet have no plans to serve the kingdom with gifts, or we do so meagerly.  We pray for the right house to purchase and won’t open our homes to our church needs.  A better car, a good vacation, a husband or wife, a job, or even children.  And all along we don’t ever plan to surrender all those over for God’s holy work.  Or we make a deal with God to get what we want knowing full well we won’t uphold our side of the bargain.  

False “needs” and empty prayers.  They lead to greed and coveting.  It all comes down to not trusting in God for our provisions.  And not being good stewards of what we have been gifted.  We tell God over and over what He needs to do for us.  If He doesn’t perform that particular miracle then darn it, we are going to make it happen for our ourself.  Or worse, reject God.

Let your words be few, King Solomon warns us.  With few words yes, but with listening ears.  The Bible tells us to come before the Lord with our requests.  However, night after night, morning after morning we roll out our list of wants and needs.  Do we ever ask God if those are what He wants for us?  Imagine a relationship here on earth like that.  Your friend is constantly complaining about what she or he doesn’t have and what they want.  And they never, ever stop talking (sounds like a toddler!). Our prayer life and quiet times with the Lord are supposed to be a two-way street!  Not a drive-through ordering system.

In prayer, it is better to have a heart without words, than words without a heart. 

 John Bunyan

A few weeks ago I read an account by Christian teacher Kay Arthur about the night, at 29 years of age, that she was truly saved.  “I’d been at a party.  The only thing I remember about that night was that a man named Jim looked at me and said, “Why don’t you quit telling God what you want and tell Him that Jesus Christ is all you need?”  His words irritated me.  “Jesus Christ is not all I need,” she replied.  My reply was curt.  “I need a husband, I need a…” and one by one I enumerated my needs.  I turned my heel and went home.”  

Her family was very religious but the Bible had not been a central part of her life.  She went to church but no one had ever asked her if she had been saved.  She hadn’t realized going to church and being a “good Christian” weren’t the keys to salvation.  She knew her sins were obvious and she was in deep spiritual and emotional pain.  The next day after that party, she couldn’t face going to work and called in sick.  She found herself at the edge of her bed crying out to God for a healing of peace.  She discovered the God who provides, the God who heals. She gave her wants and needs completely over to Him to purge and refine.


Are you constantly making a list of all the things you expect God to do for you?  Yet don’t plan on obeying and serving Him?  Are you usurping His authority over your life and building up all your stuff to fill yet another room or another storage unit rather than re-gifting your blessings to His Kingdom?  King Solomon starkly tells us this is all so meaningless.  In his study of this life, he ends chapter 5 reminding us everything we have is of God — gifts from heaven to be used and enjoyed accordingly.

The apostle Paul carries this theme of God as our great provider throughout the epistles.  Setting our sights not on stuff but on the Lord.  More importantly, setting our hearts to the heavens.

Is it time to do your own room-by-room inventory? An inventory of your prayer life?  An inventory of the room of your heart?  Maybe it’s time to give, give, give.  And to quietly listen for His Word so He can set you on the path to enjoyment.  For when you do, our Lord and Savior has promised us, “for with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”


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Enjoying A Gifted Life

Ecclesiastes Five Part One


About four years ago a few friends and I gathered together to start a new Bible study group.  We selected the book, Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be, by Donna Partow.  It was a 90-day study on the Proverbs 31 woman.  After tackling such topics as meditating on God’s Word, creating healthy, godly habits, and family relationships we were asked to declutter our lives.  The scriptures for Day 31 were from Luke 3:11; 6:38

It was the beginning of journey of freedom.  Freedom from clutter, freedom from hoarding, and freedom from stuff.  We were to sit in each room of our house and quietly meditate and pray about what the room spoke to us.  Was it chaos?  Was it peaceful?  Was it full of stuff that brought us joy or shame?  

“The key to minimizing clutter and keeping an orderly home is a resolute commitment to give away everything you can.  Give, give, give!  Give until it hurts.”  

Donna Partow, Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be

This sentiment is echoed by John Wesley’s sage advice to “Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can.”  Why? Because as King Solomon reminds us all in Ecclesiastes 5, you can’t take it with you.

And we can’t forget from Ecclesiastes 3, there’s “a time to keep and a time to throw away…” (v 6)


According to Pew Research, in 2013 the average global annual household income was $9,733.  In the United States that number was $51,939.  Poor Americans were actually classified as global middle class.  And only 2% of all Americans could classify as “globally poor.”  The good news in 2019 however, was that the United States, according to the World Giving Index, ranks first in charitable giving.  But the second ranked?  It was Myanmar, considered to be on the lower-middle income scale.  Researchers surmise this stark difference in income to charitable giving is due to the large population of Theravada Buddhists for whom frequent acts of giving are the norm.

So yes, the majority of Americans are wealthy from a global perspective and we give and give.  But we also hoard.  About 10% of US households are currently renting a storage unit filled with stuff.  In 2019, a survey found the average American spent $18,000 per year on non-essential goods.  That’s twice the annual income on average globally! One unconfirmed statistic said we have more than 300,000 items in our home by average.  That’s a lot of stuff.  And you have to ask, why?

And while many of our bank accounts don’t show a lot of money, our homes sure do.  So, when we were asked to sit in each room and evaluate the atmosphere, it brought out a number of uncomfortable feelings.  The stuff that had accumulated was embarrassing and not bringing my family much enjoyment.  It reminded me of when I would visit my husband’s grandmother’s house and think, “When she’s gone who is going to have to go through all this stuff?”  She hoarded all manner of paper goods and supplies.  When my mother-in-law was in her last days, I truly appreciated one of her last requests of me and my eldest daughter – to start cleaning out clothes closets and freezers before she was gone.  She didn’t want her husband to have to deal with it all later.

There is more than one way to be rich and more than one way to be poor.  If we accept His gifts, but complain about them we are guilty of ingratitude.  If we hoard His gifts and will not share them with others, we are guilty of indulgence.  But if we yield to His will and use what He gives us for His glory, then we can enjoy life and be satisfied.  

Warren Wiersbe, Be Satisfied

Our ability to have an income and even a “disposable” income are gifts from God.  We turn so much of what we buy into “needs.”  I’m just as guilty.  Because even though I did a great job de-cluttering my home during that study I’ve noticed the stuff has gathered steam again in my house.  


What is this need we have, especially those of us in wealthy western countries, to turn to stuff to satisfy?  To find our joy in hoarding money and possessions?  To build up bank accounts for the distant future?  We need to feel secure that the nest egg is the right size – even though the right size never seems big enough.  We need our freezers and refrigerators full, our garages and closets stuffed.  We need, we need.  Once while driving through our neighborhood my eldest daughter, who was about 8 years old, commented on an open, three-car garage.  “I’m glad we don’t have two garage doors,” she said.  And I asked, “Why?”  “Because that would mean we would need more junk,” she sagely replied.  Oh, the wisdom of innocence.

I believe one reason so many Christians in America are apathetic is they don’t really believe they need God. They have replaced Him with their estate planner and retirement fund. I’m not implying we should ignore planning for the future and, in effect, presume on God. But when you cling to your possessions and live in fear of not having them, you ignore the Holy Spirit’s leading and put your confidence in your wealth instead of God.

John MacArthur

Ouch!  Imagine if you would, before buying anything — and I mean anything – we have a short chat with the Lord.  “Do I truly need this?”  “Will this help me live in the fruit of the spirit?”  “Am I buying this because I think I deserve it?”  “Is this financial decision made in trusting You?”  I would probably buy less potato chips and therefore be treating my body as a better steward!  I believe this is what it means to pray without ceasing.  We are in constant contact with the Lord even in the grocery store, but especially when it comes to bigger wants and needs. A prayer life rich in listening and trusting God so that we can be good stewards of our blessings and gifts. Asking God to help us truly enjoy the riches He bestows on us — that’s what I want to seek each and every day.

Join me on Wednesday for Part Two of our look at Ecclesiastes 5, Enjoying The Gifted Life! Click here for part two.

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Enjoy Being Set Apart Part Two

Missed part one? Go to emboldened.net/2024/03/25/enjoying-being-set-apart/


I recently was listening to a teaching on the Good Samaritan.  It’s such a popular and well-known parable that it’s become an axiom. In some cases, even the title of laws. In many states in the United States, “good samaritans” are protected from lawsuits if they’ve provided physical aid but an additional injury may have occurred as a result of that help (ie a person giving CPR fractures a person’s rib). For many believers and non-believers this story represents “being nice” or acting kindly to others. Jesus, however, throughout His time on earth spoke basically about only two things: God and His Kingdom.  So, it’s important, however familiar we may be with the parable, to know why the story was told.  It starts with this interaction:

Now let’s look at what was happening.  This lawyer was testing Jesus.  Maybe he wanted Jesus to say, “Follow me.”  This would have been heretical for the Jew.  Instead, Jesus points him back to God’s Word.  Notice the man fully counts himself a wonderful, loving person in his own eyes.  He believes he uniquely and fully loves God with all his heart, mind and soul.  There’s apparently no chance he has failed at this overwhelming task. Instead, he wants to parse out the requirements by then asking Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”  

The Old Testament religious Jewish leaders had come to define (erroneously) their “neighbors” as those in their own circle.  People exactly like them.  That allowed them to hate anyone else — other Jews who they deemed unworthy such as tax collectors and then gentiles. They turned “love your neighbor as yourself” into “love your neighbor and hate your enemies.”

Some might say they were justified. I mean God did call on them to eliminate entire groups of people. But biblical scholars will clarify those particular groups actively hated God and sinned in abominable ways against Him. Murderous cultures, child sacrifices, rampant sexual immorality, pillaging and raping innocent people year after year after year. God also had warned them for hundreds of years. They all knew of the God of Abraham and Jacob — as witnessed by the likes of Rahab from Jericho. (Joshua 2:9-13) So, when Israel was directed to take action it was God’s justice, not personal justice. Each man was directed throughout Deuteronomy and Leviticus to treat the foreigner as themselves. Personal vendettas were against the Law. And still the religious leaders contorted God’s Word.

Jesus upends their well-worn, twisted morality by exposing the lack of compassion by the “righteous” versus the godly love by an “outsider” or even enemy.  This parable wasn’t about acts of kindness, rather it highlights our sinful tendencies to divide and hate those on the other side of that divide.  That hatred and the distortion of God’s Word leads us in the opposite direction the Jewish lawyer wanted to go. It’s not heaven he will find with a dark heart. Jesus allows the lesson to sink in; the lesson of reminding believers that He sets us apart from the world to do something unthinkable and difficult.  To love others and show mercy as God loves us.

Friend, in God’s world, the world of eternal life, envy, hatred, greed, and jealousy, have no place.  It didn’t during King Solomon’s time seen in Ecclesiastes 4 and it doesn’t now. True justice for the oppressed and downtrodden is not equity or retroactive punishment or even self-flagellation.  It’s love.  It’s the kind of love that looks different than the world.  It says, “Let me help you out of sin.”  It gives all that it can and doesn’t hoard the blessings we’ve been given.  It looks hatred in the eye and says, “God loves you too.”  It stops and, without care for itself, gives compassion.  It protects the weak and helpless.  It overflows with mercy and forgiveness. It’s a love that hates only one thing — the hatred of God — yet still prays for that person. It helps us see we are all needy sinners who disobey the Lord regularly and we thank God He abounds in mercy.

We are all, no matter our worldly status, guilty of not loving enough.  Not forgiving enough.  Not being people of grace.  It’s not just to the faceless who we think have wrong us but to those in our church, in our home, in our neighborhood.  It is our constant striving for the one and only thing that makes life meaningful that will bring us eternal life – our joyful obedience to the God who loves us.

When we seek personal justice or vengeance let’s remember the Apostle Paul. Remember the evil that lived in him and the terrible acts he oversaw. Then look to your Bible and see not only God’s mercy but the mercy and forgiveness he was granted by his fellow Christian Jews and gentiles. There is always hope in God’s plan for someone (like us) to turn their meaningless, oppressive life into something oh so meaningful.


When I was researching Ecclesiastes 4, I was led to reflect on my experience with Tom. You remember him? The one who hated women.  The Holy Spirit convicted me.  I have long, quietly harbored ill-will toward him.  For making my life difficult during a stressful time.  For hating an entire “type” of people.  Suddenly I realized I was just as guilty.  I was not loving my enemy, my oppressor.  That realization brought me to tears of joy.  Knowing our good God is constantly working in our hearts to prune us in ways we didn’t realize needed work.  That act, alone, made that day so meaningful.

Ask Him today to reveal any hidden sins, especially of hatred, envy, oppression, vengeance, and jealousy.  Then thank Him for the revelation and mercy.  Enjoy the moment where you have been set free once again.


For more on Pastor John MacArthur’s sermon concerning the dangers and false teaching in our churches on social justice, go to https://www.gty.org/library/articles/45SJ

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Enjoying Being Set Apart

Part One

If you had accidentally walked in on the meeting, the unfolding scene you’d have seen featured a young woman, early 20s, sitting face-to-face with an older man, probably in late 40s.  The thick tension had a life of its own.  The woman, looking disconcerted and slightly mystified, rambled on about goals and objectives trying to keep the conversation moving forward.  While the man, with the tapping of his pen, grew ever angrier.  Tap, tap transitioned to tap-tap-tap as the man’s face tensed.  Abruptly, the young woman ended the meeting with an excuse that her time was needed elsewhere.  The man bolted from the room with a loud explosion of frustrated air, “Harrumph!”

That young woman was me some 30 years ago.  The task before me at my new job was to create a new marketing and public relations department in a mid-sized company.  At just 22 and fresh out of college, I felt overwhelmed and underprepared for the obstacles laid before me.  Not one area manager had ever created, much less implemented, a sales and marketing plan.  And here I was teaching and guiding people at least twice my age.  I was the “fresh faced,” “wet-behind-the ears” college girl.  To some I was the pushy “know it all.”  While to others I was a welcomed opportunity to make a positive impact on their business.  And then there was Tom*.  

As a long-time manager for our retail printing and copy services, Tom had enjoyed a quiet existence doing things his way without anyone bothering him.  Until I came along.  After each interaction with Tom, I found myself questioning and revising my communication tactics.  Nothing was working.  He was angry from the beginning to the end of each meeting.  

I finally went to my boss seeking help.  After laying out the situation to my female boss, she laughed and simply said, “That’s Tom.  He hates women.  So don’t worry, it’s not your ideas or what you want to accomplish.  It’s just you.”  In a strange way that brought me relief.  I couldn’t change the fact that I was a woman (and I still can’t btw) so I was able to keep moving forward with my bosses’ mandates with or without his enthusiasm.

Over the years I have experienced this same dislike or disrespect towards women.  Not often, thankfully.  And fortunately, I’m not one to let anyone stand in my way of doing a job.  But the injustice has laid in my memory for years and years.

I never discovered the impetus behind Tom’s hatred of women.  But I have heard many people of late justify their dislike of another sex, race, economic class, etc. out of envy or jealousy.  The real or imagined slight of “they have what I don’t have and I want and it isn’t fair” has long been the sinful root of other sins. 


I’ve heard it said by pastors and Bible teachers that the 10 Commandments can be drilled down to two commands: 1) Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, body and soul and 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. If, as Christians, we were to work tirelessly each day at these two summaries, oh how much more joy and peace and love we would have in our lives!  Instead, as King Solomon discovered 1,000s of years ago in his meaning of life research, we see people being oppressed in all manner of ways, foolish people striving for money and stuff, and others hoarding their earthly treasures.

The world looks arounds and screams, “Where is the justice?!  Why do YOU have what I want and need?”  They march and protest about the 1% and demand equity.  They march and protest about certain races needing to “check themselves.”  And in some churches, where we are to be set apart, what do we hear being taught?

The evangelicals who are saying the most and talking the loudest these days about what’s referred to as “social justice” seem to have a very different perspective (than the solution being in the Gospel of Jesus Christ). Their rhetoric certainly points a different direction, demanding repentance and reparations from one ethnic group for the sins of its ancestors against another. It’s the language of law, not gospel—and worse, it mirrors the jargon of worldly politics, not the message of Christ. It is a startling irony that believers from different ethnic groups, now one in Christ, have chosen to divide over ethnicity. They have a true spiritual unity in Christ, which they disdain in favor of fleshly factions. 

John MacArthur, Pastor, Author and host of Grace to You

Social justice is not God’s justice.  Social justice is defined using the word “equity.”  And equity means to take away, even by force or law, from others.  I have seen some pastors tell their mostly white parishioners they need to not just be “not racist” but actively repent to others (not God). Why? For being white and therefore at some point in their white history an injustice was done to another race.  They tell them to be quiet and not have any opinion on community issues because it’s “time for the other side to have their say.”  If you are rich, you must feel guilty, even if you worked your way up from nothing.  If you are a man, your patriarchy is evil.  Divide, divide, divide.  That, my friends, is not God’s plan for His people.  

So according to this view of “social justice,” a person’s skin color might automatically require a public expression of repentance—not merely for the evils of his ancestors’ culture, but also for specific crimes he cannot possibly have been guilty of.   There’s nothing remotely “just” about that idea, nor does any part of it relate to the gospel of Jesus Christ. The answer to every evil in every heart is not repentance for what someone else may have done, but repentance for your own sins, including hatred, anger, bitterness, or any other sinful attitude or behavior.   

John MacArthur

The people described in Solomon’s fourth chapter of Ecclesiastes, titled in most Bibles, Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness, are not the reason why a person today is oppressed any more than a person 200 years ago or 30 years ago is the reason.  People who are hated today – no matter their skin color, creed, financial status, or even sexuality – are treated badly because of today’s sins by people actually committing them.  And no church or Christian should teach that the way to resolution is more of the same.

Envy of the rich, hatred of the poor, disdain for a person’s skin color or social status, distrust and hatred of the sexes are all tools of the devil.  All methods to divide and conquer.  It’s been that way since before Solomon’s time — even by people who know the Word of God but don’t live it.  If we take the route of retribution hatred grows and life becomes wrought with despair. Each sinful tool serves only to make life seem meaningless and hopeless.  

But God as a different plan for us. One that will set you apart. Join me this Wednesday for Part Two of Enjoying Being Set Apart! Click here for part two.


*Tom is not his real name.

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Enjoying The Cycle Part Two

Did you miss part one? Go to Enjoy Life: From Meaningless to Meaningful


When my own, beautiful and kind mother-in-law was on her final journey to death our family was blessed to not only weep but laugh, to mourn and to dance (vs 4).  We experienced great love and healing.  Immense sorrow and pain.  On what, we discovered the next morning, was to be her final night, I was blessed to be the one to check in on her about 2:00am and give her the last dose of pain medication.  I sat by her side yearning to beg her to not leave me.  Yet, I knew that was unfair.  It would soon be her appointed time to go to the Father, to have her earthly, cancer-ridden body die.  So, I held her warm hand and laid my head against her slowly beating heart.  A final gift for both of us.  For me to remember her until my last day.

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you may talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—  immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.”  

CS Lewis

We will all die.  For some it may seem too soon or too tragic. It’s the opposing truth to Satan’s statement, “Surely you will not die.” The question is, for whom shall you live?  There are no “ordinary” people walking around as Lewis points out.  They are either children of God or of the devil.  That is where our end lies.  That is why, as children of God, we should feel a sense of urgency to share the saving message of Jesus Christ.  To share His message of pilgrimage, not prison.  It is not a game of “what if” we are playing but of when.


Solomon asks, “For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?”  Our daily toil for things other than God is wiped away in the cycles of life.  No one will care about the wealth or things you amass or how many rungs you fought for on the corporate ladder.  Or even how good you were at keeping your house.  They will remember your faithfulness to living in the fruit of the spirit – with love, kindness, gentleness.  They will remember that you helped bring them out of darkness.  But best of all God, Himself, will remember your love and obedience to Him and count you righteous.  

According to the atheist, life comes spontaneously out of the cosmic slime. All life springs from inert or nonliving matter. Life comes from non-life through evolution. Our origin, in other words, is out of death. Since there is no life after death, our destiny is death. What then is the point or value of life? Life is merely an unnecessary chance interruption in the midst of cosmic death. For the believer, on the other hand, God is our creator. We are given the gift of life. Our destiny in Christ is eternal life. Death is merely a very temporary interruption in the midst of cosmic life. “

Arthur W. Lindsley

To think that “this is it” or to imagine heaven just being a cozy little village lends itself to leading the “meaningless life.” But God is a god of hope.  He is the promise keeper.  And His Word calls for us to live a life looking forward to being with Him in all eternity.  Surrounded by love and light.  We are not Gnostics.  We don’t seek death and the release of our useless bodies.  We are children of the God who gave us physical bodies to live in a physical world as a temporary station to hone us, to mold us, to prune us into the new Adams and Eves. And God wants every single one of us healed and to come home.

Death comes to us all.  Let’s enjoy this earthly life we have, for however long, preparing us and others for our eternal home.

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Enjoying the Cycle of Life & Death


I had a dream the other day that I had died.  I didn’t die in the dream; I was already dead.  In the dream, I was aware of my death and now “living” in an idyllic New England-style bay village.  The whole situation seemed a bit quirky and yet normal.  There was the typical mom and pop breakfast and lunch café, an ice cream shop on the corner, and even a small inn with a welcoming lobby bar featuring wine nights.  My death-fellows walked about in full acceptance that this was their final destination.  They were friendly and colorful.  It all was so normal yet I kept saying, “surely this can’t be it?”

Ecclesiastes 3 might be one of the most well-known chapters in the Bible simply because in 1959 singer-songwriter Pete Seeger wrote the song, “Turn Turn” or “To Everything There Is a Season.” Made famous by the 60s band, The Byrds, throughout its lyrics the song repeats eight verses found in chapter 3.  

Seeger’s motivation was to emphasize the last line in King Solomon’s list of cyclical life – peace.  But Solomon’s goal was to remind us again that the world keeps spinning round and round and at times may seem so meaningless.  He reflected on wickedness and judgment – a judgment that would be sought out at each of our deaths.

Death, my friends, comes to us all.  We may want to dance around that truth with familiar colloquialisms such as, “If I die….”  But the truth of death stares us in the face each year when we reflect on the people we have “lost.”  “Lost” as though we don’t know what happened to them or where they went.  Maybe they’re wandering around in some idyllic New England town.  Maybe they are in a fiery furnace.  Or maybe they are “with the Lord.”  

As a Christian, I know there’s two roads to take toward death: 1) the way of the world and sin which leads to terrible judgement and hell or 2) the way of Jesus, leading to the glorious New Eden in which love abounds.  For the non-believer they may have chaos in their mind when they ponder death. If they’re atheists, like my father, they might believe that when we die we just disappear into nothingness. Others might hope for something better — like free ice cream for life, surrounded by Golden Retrievers. Many might imagine a walk up to the “pearly gates,” standing before an angel with a book of “infractions and do-goods” hoping the balance sheet is in their favor. For the atheist or confused, none of what they believe has as solid a foundational truth like the Bible.

For the Christian, we can look at Solomon’s list of “this and that” with comfort.  By trusting in God and His promises, we can seek Him in every circumstance, both the seemingly good and bad.  Because each of the times he lists have an element of both.  


The disciples were facing the truth about life.  We will die.  Jesus was the only one to ever know the exact day and hour.  In that death notice, however, Jesus gave them the preview of the blessing to come – the gift of the Holy Spirit. They still grieved mightily, but when the Holy Spirit descended upon them, they remembered His words and were healed.

Join me this Wednesday for Part Two of Enjoying the Cycle of Life & Death where we discover there are no “ordinary people.” Click here for part two.