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Patience, Grasshopper

October 6, 2020October 5, 2020 krisshetter

I’ve told my friends that looking back over my life so far, I really have only one regret. It’s that I wish I had a closer relationship with Jesus when I was the parent of young kids. My husband and I attended church fairly regularly. But I was wrapped up in childrearing worries and stresses and didn’t know how to turn all that over to God. I could’ve enjoyed many more hours of sleep had I not been such a “woulda, coulda, shoulda” person. I found myself, during a very long season of self-doubt about my parenting skills, constantly praying for patience. Literally praying every single night for about two years for patience. You see, I was so afraid of turning into my mother – screaming at my kids and losing control – that I thought patience was the answer. One Sunday, our pastor’s sermon was about praying. He said, “If you keep praying about the same problem over and over and over maybe it’s time to start praying for something different.” He had a knack for speaking on issues near and dear to me. So that night I stopped praying for patience and instead prayed for ways to help me deal with difficult situations.

As I’ve grown closer to Jesus, He has taught me a lot of lessons. He’s still teaching me. And step-by-step He has moved me closer to my original plea for patience. You see, I wasn’t ready to learn the hard stuff yet. He just wanted me to start turning to Him when I was in need, when I was broken. Patience may be a virtue but it is a heck of a hard thing to have and use regularly.

You, too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.”
James 5:8

I first needed to learn what standing firm, standing safely in God’s arms even meant. I didn’t have the wisdom needed to grasp the joy in hearing that the Lord is coming near. I heard on a Joyce Meyer’s podcast this morning that God gives us a lot of leeway and grace when we first become Christians. But once we hear the Word and gain His wisdom, expectations change. We are expected to act as His children, not as children of this world. Think about that. Every time we attend church, do a Bible study, listen to a Christian podcast, see a Christian post on social media we are hearing His Word. We are learning the nature and expectations of God. And He expects us to live as He prescribes.

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is the one’s glory to overlook offense.
Proverbs 19:11

Wisdom that we glean from God yields patience. And when we are patient, that glorifies what we have learned from God. We cannot be steeped in the nature of God without also knowing and acting in patience. Why? Because patience means love. It means grace. It means forgiveness. Thank God He is patient with us. I never feel God rushes me to learn a lesson. In fact, my lesson in patience has taken about 26 years.

I looked up on-line “how to be patient.” I came across a website that focuses on self -improvement. Here’s their reasons why we should learn patience.

We make better decisions by assessing situations rather than going in emotional and blind.
We have less stress by understanding some things take longer than others.
Our relationships are improved because we are more flexible and understanding.

Doesn’t that all sound like something God would want from us? Being wise, giving our stress up to God, and loving and being grace-filled toward others.

They then described a 6-step process for learning patience:

Understand and counteract triggers
Increase your self-confidence
Put on your “positive glasses”
Change your attitude – “why are you in such a hurry?”
Visualize worst case scenarios
Release tension and stress through eating right, exercise, enjoying activities

Now imaging trying to do all that without God. Here’s my Christian re-do of these six steps:

Pray for God to reveal the areas where you struggle with patience (sometimes we pretend we aren’t being impatient and justify our actions)

John 16:24, “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”

Recognize that God loves you. Accept He wants the very best for you.

John 16:27, “No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.”

Remember that joy can be found in trials. And most of all that God has delivered for you in the past. He is faithful.

2 Thes 3:3, “But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”

Rejoice each and every day, if not every hour, for all the great things in your life.

Prov 17:22, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

To be honest, visualizing worst case scenarios has been helpful to me. If I’m waiting in a long line at Costco and start getting impatient I think, “Well, what have I got to be impatient for anyways?” or “Well, if I’m late because of this line I can call ahead and let them know.”

Matt 6:27, “Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

Yes, eat right, exercise, enjoy new and old activities. And pray. And pray. And pray. Give up all those thoughts, those worries, those fears, those negative emotions to God. Cry out to Jesus and ask Him to remove whatever negative thought you have right then.

1 Samuel 2:1, “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance.”

When we get closer to God – become fluent in His character – that is when He can work His ways in us. And God is always patient with us. My friend and I were having lunch today and she said she is starting to have more moments in her difficult life where she looks up and gives a little smile – recognizing those growth moments God has put in front of her. As for me, I described for her my process of writing and how I study the topic, pray, and then start writing. I rarely stop writing one of these posts until I am done. The words just come out of me onto the computer. My whole body is focused on getting these words down. I told her how weird it was that I was interrupted multiple times while writing this post. And as I drove home from lunch, I was listening to a praise song and it hit me. Patience. The topic of this post. And I had just been tested. I was not annoyed about the interruptions. I felt blessed hearing from a few friends. And normally I would’ve been distracted during lunch, thinking about what else I needed to write. I would’ve failed my friend who I need to support during this time in her life.

I called my friend from my car and said, “I just got it! Patience! I was tested!” And she said, “I realized that while you were telling me. And I’m glad it finally came to you.” Maybe this whole actually studying God’s Word really does work. Time to look up and smile.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Heart Lessons

October 5, 2020October 4, 2020 krisshetter

Before I became a Christian and even when I was a “baby Christian” I’d hear a lot of phrases from the Bible thrown about by believers and non-believers. Passages such as “judge not, lest you be judged” (Matt 7:1) and “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13) are frequently taken out of context and misused. And then there’s the quotes that aren’t even in the Bible such as, “God helps those who help themselves,” “God will never give you more than you can handle,” and “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” While all those sound good, we must always be careful not to put words in God’s mouth. Along with all of these I think one of the most misunderstood concepts people have is about being wealthy. Non-believers will use this against successful Christians. And believers sometimes think having wealth is a sin. When Jesus said,

“How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
Luke 18:24

This was in response to asking a wealthy ruler to give up all his power and wealth and come follow Him. The ruler was very sad because he was very wealthy and he wasn’t all that honest. It’s necessary to know that no one is saved by giving up all their wealth. What Jesus was really asking of the ruler was to be honest about what he coveted. There was much more going on in this story than a man being told to give up his wealth to follow Jesus. This is why I keep hearing over and over these days to not just read the Bible but to study it. Take, for instance, this famous poem by William Wadsworth:

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze …
“I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud“

If we were to just read it for what it basically says we would think he was a lonely man who thought he was a cloud. And when he saw some flowers he thought they were actually dancing. Sounds like someone on drugs. But when we study the poem, we find a beautiful short tale about a man who loves nature and finds joy whenever he sees daffodils. Therein lies the need for great Biblical teachers and pastors.

As we explore the last chapter of James, we find him being very angry with the wealthy members of the church. Not because they are wealthy, but just like the ruler Jesus admonished, they have turned their wealth into their god. They have cheated and lied all in the name of increasing their wealth. How many of us today covet our bank account in lieu of helping those in need? As an American, even our poorest are considered wealthy in relation to other countries. Just having a home, a steady job, owning one or two cars, having three meals a day, a closet full of clothes, a tv and more, far and away exceed what others have. And none of that is wrong. James condemns the wrong use of riches – using wealth as a weapon rather than a tool to build others up. I’ve heard so many people over the years actually worry that Jesus will ask them to give up all their money and become a poor missionary. I say, if that’s truly what you are worried about then be careful, that just might be what God asks you to do!

How many times have you heard people say they’re worried God will ask them to be another ‘Mother Teresa?”

James doesn’t stop there. Our lack of patience, our lies (both little and big), our lazy prayer life, and our lack of desire to help our fellow Christians grow and be their best in the eyes of Christ, are all on display this week in James 5.

If we aren’t careful so much of James can turn into one of those misused verses or phrases. If we remember two things as we work on the final week of this study let them be this: 1) it is always about what is in our heart that Jesus cares about and 2) thankfully we are given grace each and every time we confess that we have forgotten the first.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

A Girl Transformed

October 3, 2020October 2, 2020 krisshetter

My youngest daughter is a poster child for God’s transformation. When she was a toddler, she constantly begged me to buy her bright and shiny things she saw advertised on tv then displayed on the grocery shelves. I left the grocery store many times during one of her meltdowns. As she got older, I heard on a daily basis of her “needs.” “I need more shorts (from the expensive store).” “I need more pants.” “I need a new straightener.” “I need a new (fill in the blank).” And then there were the social status issues: “Olivia’s mom gets her those, why can’t I have that?” We started calling her the family princess. My older daughter, who to almost frustration, never asks for anything. My prayer life was filled with asking for patience. This beautiful, smart, vivacious, talented, young girl acted like a spoiled brat. Thankfully, she reserved all the negative behavior for her home life. Away from home her teachers, coaches, and friends all loved her. But they didn’t have to live with her. My husband and I decided enough was enough. He started planning frequent mission projects for the two of them to participate in. She taught vacation Bible School. She got a job. We knuckled down on all those “needs.” And then we sent her off to college, waiting for her to start begging us for money each week.

James first starts in chapter 1 that we should consider it pure joy whenever we face trials (James 1:2). I loved my daughter immensely during those younger years. I enjoyed her humor, her ability to make any situation into a song. She was a fierce, talented competitor on the field. She would burst into the house after school and shower me with love. That’s what I would thank God for, not for when things went off the rails. Without the hard stuff I might not have fully appreciated the good stuff. So, when I sent her off almost 2,000 miles away for college my house felt quiet, too quiet. And for her, she came to realize how good she had it at home. She faced terrible roommates, crazy coaches, and bored, lazy professors. But she also was led to a relationship with Jesus, thanks to being invited to attend an Athletes In Action meeting. Her “needs” became a need to live in God’s love – not the world of earthly desires. She surrendered herself fully and in turn, found what really matters in life – an eternal love plus the love and friendships that make us better. Now when she asks, she asks with the right motives. She asks for God’s will – not her’s.

This amazing, transformed, daughter of Christ has plans. But they’re God’s plans. Her creative mind and her earthly tendency to “want stuff” is still there. It’s amazing to watch her pull it back in. You can tell that peace dwells more frequently in her. Before they got married about a year ago, she and her husband went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace program. Having the desire to do it in the first place showed their spiritual maturity. They both have great jobs after having graduated college. And they could have a lot of “stuff.” But they made a plan with God in mind. My little girl who demanded so much is now so incredibly disciplined. And yes, she has thanked my husband and I many times over for instilling so many morals and values in her. But it’s God’s work that fully planted those in her heart. I truly believe the trials she went through while in college gave her a choice – to go down the earthly path or to turn and surrender to God.

James 4 was a message to my daughter.

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives.” (v3)

“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?” (v4)

“Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (v7)

“Instead, you ought to say, if it’s the Lord’s will we will live and do this or that.” (v15)

James 4 is a message to all of us who struggle day in and day out with trying to control our lives. Trying to get all our “needs and wants” satisfied. It’s a message to all of us who have put “Self” in front of God. It’s also a message of hope that when we do what we ought to do, when we submit and surrender everything to God, He will draw near to us. We have a role to play and unless we take our required steps, God cannot finish the work in us. How many of us who struggle with money are willing to spend the next few months going through Financial Peace University?”

And lest we think “those people” are the ones that need to hear this message, the work God had to do in me with my relationship with my daughter was huge. When I finally surrendered her over to him, when I finally threw up my hands and said, “Ok, I’ve failed, I’ll try it your way,” I could start mending our relationship. When I started praying His will, and not mine, great things happened. The planning of her wedding was God’s gift to both of us. Had she been the “girl before God” she would’ve demanded expensive, well, everything. Instead she and her fiancé put together a tight budget. We made decorations. We eliminated needless activities. God sent them people who would make a cake for $60, a free videographer, an inexpensive caterer. They wanted the focus to be on Jesus. It was so darn fun.

God’s gifts to me, my two beautiful daughters, are just that – His gifts. And like my finances, and my marriage, and my home, I need to be a good steward of His gifts. So, I pray for His will be done. And may the devil flee.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Do You Do or Don’t Do?

October 2, 2020September 30, 2020 krisshetter

A year ago I decided to take my weight gain seriously. My middle-aged hormones were wreaking havoc on my body. I had gained 35 pounds. And I was two months away from my daughter’s wedding. God wants us to take care of ourselves. 1 Corinthians 6 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit?” And so, along with the help of a weight loss app I finally decided to really do something about it. I was diligent. By the time my daughter’s wedding came around the dress that I had tailored a few weeks prior didn’t really fit me – it hung loosely in a number of places. About six months in I was 10 pounds away from my goal weight and decided I didn’t need the app anymore. Around that same time the Covid19 crisis struck. And here I am another seven months later with 15 pounds to lose. You got that – I, of course, gained more weight. So, at lunch today I sat across from my friend who also tries to watch her weight. I told her about a great dish the restaurant has that is low calorie. I knew exactly what to order and what not to order. And as the waitress took our order, I did exactly what I shouldn’t. I gave into my cravings. Not only that, I convinced my friend to do the same.

One of my favorite verses from the Bible is quite the tongue twister. When I heard a young pastor speak on these verses he could barely get it out without laughing.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree the law is good. As it is, it is no longer myself who do it, but it is the sin living in me.”
Romans 7: 15-17

And the do’s keep going for four more verses! James makes it a lot clearer:

“If anyone, then knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”
James 4:17

We’ve probably all been there with the diet issue. But how many times do we not do what we know we should do? For some of us that might be every, single day. Sinning is our very nature. We Christians have allowed other people to use the word “sin” against us. They say it makes us judgmental. It makes us hypocrites. It shows we don’t love people. But sin is everyone’s nature – whether you are a Christian or not. You can thank Adam and Eve for that. Unlike atheists, Christians just recognize that we are sinning. But the enemy wants us to be prideful and say we don’t sin – it’s those “other people.” Throughout our day we need to recognize our sinful behavior and ask God for forgiveness. When I blame someone else for “making me upset” or I accuse others of “doing worse than me” that’s pride shining through. It also gives us cover to do the exact same thing over and over. Sinning make take the form of fear over faith, worry, improper thoughts, shame or gossip.

My daily sin is being impatient and annoyed with people. I know not to do it. But I do it. Sometimes I’m so caught up in my excuses I forget to take a moment and ask for that forgiveness – to ask for that strength not to do it again. But I had a recent revelation. I was living in transgression. That, my friends, is a sin that is done over and over for a hidden reason. After one of my prayers of forgiveness Jesus shined a light on it. My lack of humility. It was the root of my everyday sinning. I was making excuses and hiding it. And until I realized, it there was no chance of me stopping my bad behavior.

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
John 8: 7

You see all the accusers of this woman about to be stoned were hiding their sins, trying to sell everyone on their pious lives. But you really can’t hide from Jesus. Satan loves when we try to hide our sins. I’ve been telling my Bible Study Girls lately that living like that creates a visual of a dark, scribbly mass living inside of us – creating chaos and hatred and all things ugly. We have a hard time doing the right things for the right reason when we live with transgressions.

And then we have iniquities – where those transgressions become a bondage to our transgressions. It drives us to repeatedly and continually commit sin. It perverts all our good intentions. For example, my sin of being annoyed with cashiers. When I do it time and again it becomes about a lack of grace, love and humility on my part (transgression). If I don’t repent and ask God to help this sin can move into an iniquity – where I actually hate cashiers. I might even call them names, or think of them as lowly people for doing such “menial” jobs. It becomes a soul crusher. And satan dances.

Because, as Christians, we make it a point to live with the mind of Christ and the knowledge of God’s Word, we know what “doing good” means. We can choose to give to the poor. Or we can choose to ignore God’s call to help the needy. And in doing so we sin. And if we consistently withhold God’s treasure from His people our sin transforms into transgression – maybe a fear of losing money, a fear of not having enough money. And those constant hidden thoughts about money may lead to an iniquity – greed, hatefulness to the needy, miserly behavior. And none of those creates a loving mind and heart.

Why do we not do what we know we ought to do? Because we have a sinful nature. We want what we want, and we want it now. The closer we try to live next to Jesus and the more we fill our minds and hearts with God, the harder it is to allow room for those sins to become soul killers.

God knows His children. He knows we need constant correction. Let’s just try to keep our lives on the slightly wandering path rather than taking the full off-ramp. Ask God right now to reveal any hidden sins in you — anything that you need to recognize that negatively motivates your behavior. He loves you and will gladly honor your request in a way that He knows you need. Don’t be afraid. Just ask. And then do what He tells you.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

A Good Plan

October 1, 2020September 30, 2020 krisshetter

When my eldest was two years old (she’s now 27) I quit my career job. It was a big decision for me as I placed so much value in working. I had never planned on being married and having children so getting a good education and then a good career was my grand plan. And here I was, about 10 years after graduating college, quitting. One day, we were out for a walk. At a busy intersection, the crosswalk light turned for us and I pushed the stroller in front of a line of waiting cars. Halfway across a man yelled out of his car, “Hurry up and why don’t you get a damn job!” I was mortified. I wasn’t angry with the man for being out of line, I was ashamed. Ashamed I didn’t have a job to identify me as “worthy.” How he would know my job status could only be the work of the devil.

Sometimes we accept the word of satan much easier than the Word of God
Joyce Meyer

My value, my self-worth, was wrapped up in a career. Here I had a beautiful baby, a loving husband, a nice home and yet I was unable to see these gifts from God. I had a plan and I had quit that plan. I was a failure. Each day my husband would come home and out of habit ask me what I had done that day. Boy did that get my hackles up! I started inventing things I had done or making what little I had done sound so exhausting and important. I mean a trip to the dry cleaning can really take a lot out of you. Instead of enjoying those precious moments of playing hide and go seek with my daughter I fretted over my future.

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.”
James 4:13-14

Life seems so complex and we want to control it. By making our plans we try to take the chaos out of our lives. We don’t want to be those “losers” who don’t have enough money to live on when we retire. We make grand plans for our bank accounts. We try to position ourselves so we are the ones that get that great promotion. We commit ourselves to long term goals with creating a family, losing weight, travelling, careers and so much more. And yet, we forget about today. The right here and now.

“Do not boast about tomorrow for you do not know what a day may bring.”
Proverbs 27:1

That doesn’t mean we aren’t to be good stewards of our gifts. I did a Bible study once where the entire focus was on being a good manager of what God has placed in our hands. You see it’s never about having money or not having money with God. It’s never about having a good job or not. It’s not about saving money to buy a home or not. God’s has all good things in mind for us. It’s always about our relationship with Him. When we submit to the will of God, it all starts to make sense.

I used to pray for God to bring me joy one day. That day was, of course, when I was financially secure, my kids were in good jobs and married, and I finally had the perfect lakehouse. Sounds like the perfect plan, right? I kept putting off joy. Instead of investing in my eternal life by appreciating today, I was investing in my earthly life by ignoring today. I was reading a sermon by Charles Spurgeon today called, “Waiting Only Upon God.” He tells this story about the Scottish novelist and playwright Sir Walter Scott:

“Perhaps there never was a mind more gigantic than the mind of Sir Walter Scott: a man whose soul was as fertile as the newly broken soil of the land of gold. That man was a good man I believe, a Christian; but he made a mistake in the object of his life. His object was to be a lord, to found a family, to plant the root of an ancestral tree the fruit of which should be heard of in ages to come; magnificent in his hospitality, generous in his nature, laborious in his continual strife to win the object of his life, yet after all he died a disappointed and unsuccessful man. He reared his palace, he accumulated his wealth and one sad day saw it scattered to the wind, and he had lost that for which he had lived. Had he fixed his eye upon some better object than the pleasing of the public, or the accumulation of wealth, or the founding of a family, he might have got the others, and he would not have lost the first. Oh! had he said “Now I will serve my God; this potent pen of mine, dedicated to the Most High; shall weave into my marvellous stories things that shall enlighten, convince, and lead to Jesus,” he might have died penniless, but he would have died having achieved the object of his wishes—not a disappointed man.”

In other words, God gifts us in so many ways – with different talents, with finances, with family, etc – but when we make the plan to succeed at those, without seeking His Will, we will surely be disappointed at the end. We work and we toil. We stress and we plan. And we forget this one thing.

“You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
James 4:14

It’s true. We all will die. We don’t know the day or the hour. Without God as our light, without God as our object of desire, we waste our days clutching and worrying. Spurgeon goes on to say that so many of us make our plans and then turn to God asking what we should do and then go do what we originally planned. Sound familiar? In fact, after researching for this post I finally realized I hadn’t prayed yet what God wanted me to say. I kept bouncing back to my notes thinking about what I wanted to write. I finally just opened my computer, put my hands to the keys and said, “Tell me what you want me to say.” I had done my research, I had quotes and verses to pull from so I was prepared. But in the end, I was also willing to do what God told me to do.

I heard a sermon the other day called “Crazy Faith.” The pastor started out talking about Noah. Here’s this guy, most likely a farmer, who the Bible called a “righteous man.” Meaning he probably honored his debts, paid his workers and did a bang-up job with taking care of his family. He had it all planned out. Toil away in the fields year after year and be a successful farmer. And then God. The great part of this story is Noah didn’t say, “But I have my own plan for my life. I’m a farmer, not a ship builder. Oh, and by the way, I don’t live by an ocean. I’m going to go out and plant some more seeds and reap my harvest. Go away.” I’m sure being a “righteous man” he prayed to God for good things to happen in his life. So, when God said, “Ok, here’s a good thing I want you to do.” He did it. Are we so willing? Or are we married, fully committed to our plan? We are so committed that we miss the God given opportunities to help and love others. We miss the doors He opens for an amazing life rather than the toiling life we have planned.

A few posts ago I mentioned the 100 Lunches Project. Each week for about a year God led me to feeding the homeless. It wasn’t about feeding the homeless really. It was about ripping that need to work and justify my daily activities out of my heart and mind. It was about not planning every single detail out. It was about going first to Him to check in on what He wanted from me. At the time I was working at a school counseling office. I worked three days a week. It made me feel worthy. And then He told me that I needed to deliver food regularly on one of those three days. When I went into the office the next day I said, “I know you are familiar with my 100 Lunches Project. Well, God told me I need to start doing it on Wednesdays so that means I can’t work that day.” Yep, I said that. And the response was, “Ok, sounds good. We are happy to have you whichever days you can give us.” My mouth might have dropped open a bit. Each and every time I went to God for direction, on money, on what to buy, on where to go, on the help I needed, He answered. And I obeyed. It was glorious.

So, you see, it’s not about trying to build up that big retirement account. It’s about asking God what you should do with that paycheck. And doing it. Charles Stanley’s Life Principles #2 & #5 say to obey God and leave all the consequences to Him – even if it seems unreasonable. EVEN IF he asks us to build an ark in the middle of the desert. He has great plans for us – we may not ever be famous or wealthy. But that plan will be good. And if He doesn’t answer right away, as Christians that live close to God, we already know to be good stewards of His gifts. We will have prepared for the day He does speak. Until then, He calls us to enjoy what we have right now. For tomorrow may never come.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Big “S” Little “s”

September 30, 2020September 29, 2020 krisshetter

Born Again By His Spirit
How can you love others 
when you can't love yourself,
is it a bridge too far?
Perhaps you've been hidden
 away on a shelf
unaware of just who you are.

It is time for you now
 to come into view
and to stand in the place of knowing;
to allow JESUS CHRIST
 to take the helm
within your own boat you're been rowing.

And as you surrender
 to His loving Grace
you will find yourself hidden in Him;
with His loving Light
 outshining all others
allowing your sails to be trimmed.

Once blind, now you'll see,
 for GOD will release
the Wind of His Spirit to blow,
which in turn your identity,
 that was foreign to you,
 will thus be revealed and you'll know.....

Right in the middle of this wonderful poem by fellow blogger, Carol Congalton, you’ll see a very important word: Surrender. A few weeks ago, my Bible Study Girls took up this topic of submission/surrender. The conversation went something like this:

BSG 1: “That sounds good to surrender my problem to God but how do I actually do that?”

BSG 2: “Ya, when Christians say, ‘just give it up to God’ I think that can give us a bad name. Like it’s that easy.”

BSG 3: “I mean the actual giving up is like, boom, done. But the work up to it is what is so difficult.”

BSG 1: “But I don’t know how to do that.”

BSG 2: “A pastor once said if you don’t want to forgive, then ask God to help you want to forgive. And if you have trouble doing that, ask God to help you want to learn how to forgive. If you don’t want to do that, ask God to help you want to ask to learn how to forgive!”

Great advice. When we are stuck, we need to go back to a place we are ok with and start there. Which brings us to submission. Ewww. For many of us just that word alone brings negative connotations. Some of us (most of us) just aren’t white flag wavers, especially when it comes to closely held beliefs and baggage.

“Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
James 4:7

Most of the time we just want the devil to flee from us without the submission part. You know, get the creamy inside without having to work our way through the hard, outer shell. The devil wants us to keep clinging to earthly definitions of submission. But God says,

“Come near to God, and He will come near to you.”
James 4:8

I realized there’s two types of submission when it comes to being a Christian. There’s a big “S” and a little “s.” The big “S” is the flipping of the script. It’s the big “ah ha” moment in our lives. It’s not the same as when we decided to believe in God or even that Jesus is our Savior. There’s a lot of Christians that believe both those but haven’t fully submitted to God. It may have happened to us as a child and we are fortunate to have lived our lives in submission to God. My friend Betsy is like that. She can’t remember a time without God as her commander. And you can tell she’s had a lifetime to accept that God loves her immensely. We joke and say “What would Betsy do?” because the spirit of Jesus is apparent in her life.

Others of us may be long time Christians but only recently had that light switch flipped or maybe we haven’t gotten there yet. We’ve gone to church, did all the “right” Christian things except actual, full submission to God. I was listening to a great podcast from Transformation Church the other day. They had guest pastor Tim Ross as their speaker. His sermon focus was on upsetting the world. And by that he meant like the disciples, who went throughout unfriendly lands waking the world up to the Word and the love of Jesus, we should be the conduits for change in people’s lives. His three steps were:

Upset yourself – in other words wake up and recognize the sin in ourselves. It’s time to take God’s Word to heart and as James tells us, do the actual work of God.
Upset religion – a great line in his sermon was we should not be ok to show up to church when God is not present in that church. Joyce Meyers says if you leave church not feeling convicted or energized to go out and do good then you need to change churches.
Let go of our independence – and there’s the “Boom.”

We are so afraid to loosen our grip. So afraid of losing control. And yet our grip is choking the life out of… our life.

“Let God have your life; He can do more with it than you can.”
Dwight L. Moody

And if you don’t believe that, you need to pray for God to help you believe that. I love the story of Peter walking on water.

“Lord, if it is you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
Matt 14:28

Notice Peter didn’t see Jesus, jump out of the boat and run toward Jesus in complete and total submission? He asked Jesus to call to him. And Jesus responded, “Come.” (Matt 14:29).

That was a pretty big “S.” Imagine if you were there sitting in the boat and saw Jesus. He tells you to “come” and either you refuse or you get about halfway out and you change your mind – faceplanting on the edge of the boat. There’s no halfway. You’re either in or you’re out. It’s not magic. When I sat at the edge of my boat I pleaded with God to tell me what I was doing wrong. I was being a “good Christian” and I was miserable. He was clear. “What have you really done?” was His response. He made it clear I had yet to fully submit to Him. I needed to climb out of the boat and walk to Him. And so, for the first time, I broke down and made a full commitment to Him.

And then there’s the little “s.” Like a little snake wiggling around at our feet, it’s the everyday moments where we make that re-commitment to submitting to God. They are our daily reminders that we have chosen not to be friends of this world but instead be children of God. We must have the big “S” before the little “s” can take on their full success and meaning. It’s those times when I’m tempted to get frustrated behind slow drivers or get mad at my husband for doing “that thing, yet again.” Or when I’m tempted to take on a new, difficult task without praying first. I must choose again to surrender to God to help fortify me. When I fail, I know He loves me and holds out a helping hand.

Our little “s” moments give us opportunities to grow and pull closer to God. Those moments allow God to remove what’s hindering us from joy. We may have a lot of little “s” moments until God sees that our big “S” is fully secure and planted in our hearts. I heard this quote somewhere, “God doesn’t take us on the longest or shortest path. He takes us on the right path for us.”

And when we submit completely to Him, to be His walking buddy on that path, only then can we enjoy the creamy filling – and the devil will flee from us. Because he knows there’s no getting past a person surrounded and filled with God.

If you aren’t sure you have fully submitted to God, ask Him. Ask Him to shine a light on any area that you still have firmly in your own grasp. Tell Him to call to you — and then get all the way out of that boat.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Selfish Prayer

September 29, 2020September 28, 2020 krisshetter

I had finally decided to do it. I made a lunch date with my parents to tell them. I was scared. Conjuring up conversations laden with disdain, disgust and even some hatred I drove to the restaurant. As we dug into our sandwiches, I mustered up the courage to blurt it out. “I’ve started going to church.” And then I winced in anticipation. After some silence, I continued, “I was a bit afraid to tell you.” And my mother replied, “Why would you be afraid to tell us that and WHY on earth do you feel the need to go to church?” That, my friends, in one sentence, is the story of our relationship. After I explained a few reasons why I decided to attend church my father finally spoke. “Believing in God is a crutch. It’s something I don’t need.”

Nowadays when I hear people say things like that my response is, “A crutch? Give me two please!” Because there’s nothing I need more than for God to support me through this difficult life. There’s nothing better than Him. I have the promise of eternal life and His love under one arm and the power of prayer and petition under the other.

We live out our lives using so many other worldly things as crutches – our jobs, friendships, our bank accounts, our health, our status, the belief in the power of our own mind, etc. And when those become our source of support our prayer life (if we even have one) directly reflects those crutches.

“You do not have because you do not ask. When you ask, you do not receive. Because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
James 4:2-3

I call this a selfish prayer life. Either we don’t ask because, like a two-year old we think, “I can do it all by myself!” Or when we do pray, we aren’t asking as wisdom-filled followers of Jesus. How many of us have recited a prayer and at the end said, “In Jesus’ name, Amen.”? Have we stopped to consider what exactly we are saying? Is what we are praying something Jesus would ask for of the Father?

“Man is a creature abounding in wants. He is ever restless. His heart is full of desires. Man is like a sea anemone with its multitude of tentacles, which are always hunting in the water for food.”
Charles Spurgeon, Ask and Have

I’ve heard a lot lately about our attitude and faith. The state of our attitude needs to be examined when praying. When we pray, are we complaining and want a “magic pill?” Are we asking for other people to be “fixed” when we really need for God to shine the light on what we need to fix in ourselves? Do we pray to get the promotion so we can make more money or do we pray for God to position us in our company right where He needs us most? When we don’t get the promotion do we then say, “but I prayed about it and obviously God isn’t listening?” We get angry with God when He doesn’t do what we tell Him to do. Go figure.

“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolish….But we have the mind of Christ.”
1 Cor 2:14-16

When we don’t live as though we have the mind of Christ inside us, we pray as though we don’t know the spirit of God. Our heart and mind, with the wisdom of God, must be woven throughout our prayers. My friends and I recently watched the movie, “War Room.” In it, an older woman disciples a younger woman who is having a lot of marital problems. She wants her husband fixed – fixed, of course, how she wants him fixed. The takeaway from the movie for all of us was the intensity and sincerity the older woman had in her prayer life. What I had to realize was two things:

The devil is hard at work, even in our prayers.
We need to use our power and authority given by Jesus to plead with God

And so, I created my own prayer War Room. I pray with conviction that God will hear my prayer and His desires will be done. I pray knowing He wants the things I want – for families to be reunited, for mothers to find their voice, for husbands to step into their roles, for daughters to be filled with the Holy Spirit, for friends to surrender to Him, for our country to be healed. And I pray thankfully for prayers that have been answered and for his intervention into my life and my family’s.

I don’t pray for things anymore. I pray for wise decisions. I pray for doors to be open and doors to close. I pray for hurt feelings to be removed and for me to not hurt people’s feelings. I pray for forgiveness and to forgive. I pray asking for the strength to live a life He wants me to live – not the one my selfish desire wants to be. I pray for Him to take my burdens so I can rest in the peace Jesus left with us. And I pray boldy. I pray calling on all the strength I know God, the King of Kings, has to do all things. It’s time to stop messing around with lazy, recitation praying and start meaning exactly what we say.

“If your desires are the longings of fallen nature, if your desires begin and end with your own self, and if the primary purpose for which you live is not to glorify God, but glorify yourself, then you may fight but you will not have.”
Charles Spurgeon, Ask and Have

As Christians we have the privilege of prayer. Think of all the people you know who don’t know Christ. They are left to their own devices – and we are terribly faulty people. We get our own lives so messed up yet somehow, we think we can control the world around us. We must pray. We must pray His will be done. Our first impulse in the morning should be prayer. Throughout the day we should be praying for others. And at the end of the day we are specific with our prayers of thankfulness. Let’s not be like the sea anemone grasping at whatever luck or speck of good comes our way. Instead, seize on the notion that God wants to give us a good life. All we need to do is ask.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

We’re In Control…Aren’t we?

September 28, 2020September 27, 2020 krisshetter

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”
Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

As I read through the fourth chapter of James I hear one word over and over – control. Even the most passive among us desire control. Control over our decisions, over what jobs we want, over people around us, over people not even around us. Control over our thoughts, your thoughts, over our emotions and yes, over yours. I know a woman who is incredibly sweet and demure. She defers to everyone. She’s a chronic apologizer. You know those folks — they apologize when you are late. It’s seems to be a uniquely female quirk. She is discovering, with God, the woman she’s supposed to be. But what she also wants is to control the emotional outcome for every situation. By thinking we have that type of control over others frequently leads us to decisions resulting in the exact opposite outcomes.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?”
James 4:1

Ouch. Again. There’s that “log in your eye” message. You know, the one that says, before you worry about the speck in someone else’s eye, first remove the log out of your own. In modern times it’s called “baggage.” Why does the sweet, demure woman desire control over emotional outcomes of others? We frequently make decisions to protect ourselves from negative situations. Negative situations we probably experienced growing up. We are either in protect mode or attack mode to keep us from getting harmed. Our triggers call for us to “shields up” (for all you Star Trek nerds). We start playing chess matches of one. Trying to predict if we say or do something we can outmaneuver our adversary. Our human desire to control and predict our lives is fertile ground for satan to work his wicked ways.

CONTROL
the (perceived) power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.

I added the “perceived” part because so often we think we have control when we don’t — causing the friction within ourselves. In the realm of God there’s only one type of “control” He wants us to seek – self-control. For when we seek to control our minds, our tongues, our bodies, based on His desires, only then can we find true peace. I love the expectation God has for us to build upon our faith.

“For this very reason make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.”
2 Peter 1:5-7

Self-control is smack dab in the middle. With knowledge of what God expects of us we must then set our minds and behavior up against that knowledge and control them. And without self-control we cannot persevere. Pretty logical. Without self-control with my diet I won’t make it to my goal. Without self-control over my tongue my marriage might not survive. Without self-control over my body I might put myself in physical harm.

SELF-CONTROL
The ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations.

Between trying to control others or self-control, only one of these are we guaranteed to be successful at on a regular basis. The rest, shall we say, needs to be left to God. Self-control is when we make a commitment to commune with God and study His Word each morning. It’s when we are faced with a conflict we are slow to speak and quick to listen. It’s when we are tempted by food, drink, anger, sex, (fill in the blank) and we turn our mind to God and His Truth – not the truth we are conjuring up in our minds to justify wrong-mindedness.

This chapter of James tells us to lose our grip. Not on our minds but to lose our grips on our relationships, our big plans, our need to know “what’s next.” It’s scary. We are all control-freaks in one way or another. But really, how well has that been working out for you thus far?

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Words Matter

September 26, 2020September 24, 2020 krisshetter

It would be kind to say I don’t have the best relationship with my parents. It would be honest to say I don’t really have a relationship with them at all. What I have is sort of a truce. Not really with them, but with myself. When I finally figured out they didn’t really want a loving relationship, I turned to God for help. I asked Him to help me honor my commitment as their daughter while protecting myself from mental harm. And so, what God and I have worked out is my parents are people that I happen to know and whom I occasionally have an obligation to check in on. And I do that with a positive attitude because I know I am right with God. People to whom I’ve shared that think it’s sad. Some think it’s a bit harsh. Maybe I haven’t tried enough. Maybe I need to fix something else. I struggle each year to find mother’s day and father’s day cards. But words matter. I will no longer lie that they love me dearly. Because they can’t speak it or show it. And so, God helped me to develop the right words to define the relationship – a definition not borne out of anger or hurt but out of a desire to make peace.

Words matter. If there’s one simple statement that defines James 3 it’s just that. We learned this week that once spoken, they can’t be taken back. They are mirrors into our hearts and minds. They define from where our daily wisdom is derived. They can make peace or war. Words are powerful and they matter.

“The tongue is like a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
James 3:6

Wow. And yet on average we speak about 15,000 words a day. Just think of all the forest fires we cause. I’d like to think we are doing a lot of peacemaking instead, but do you think that would be true? James wrote his letter to Christian Jews around 45 AD and almost 2,000 years later his description of our words still rings painfully true.

When we lose control over our mouths and words, we’ve lost control over our hearts and minds. We pull from the fountain of man’s wisdom. We seek earthly gain and earthly results. And then seem surprised when there is conflict. “What? What did I do/say? Why are you so sensitive? What’s her/his problem?” My mom once said to me in the midst of a screaming match, “I’M NOT SCREAMING AT YOU! JUST BECAUSE YOU WENT TO COLLEGE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN TELL ME THAT I AM UPSET!” You want to unpack all that?

Our words (and the way in which we deliver them) can define how we see ourselves in various roles. It’s why we’ve been told to stop using certain words like “housewife” (domestic worker), “illegal immigrant” (undocumented worker) or “unemployed” (economically inactive). The connotations behind certain words have become politically incorrect and therefore must be stricken from our mouths. If we only took as much interest and care in what we basically do with our words every day we’d all be a lot better off.

On one hand we can be so quick to correct someone for their “incorrectness” yet forget that the correction is frequently just what James warns against. Showing bitterness, lack of humility, and lack of mercy brings about our desires to make sure we shove that correctness down someone’s throat. When I hear a younger person deriding an older person for using words such as “oriental” or “stewardess” it shows first, a lack of respect for elders and second, a lack of understanding of historical perspective and therefore a lack of mercy and forgiveness.

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”
James 3:17

I don’t see a lot that going around these days. However, I can only be responsible for one person – me. So, when God and I worked out helping me verbalize my relationship with my parents He made sure I did it with a peaceful heart, a merciful and sincere one. I couldn’t keep living in a fake world where I thought each time I interacted with them that they weren’t who they are. I need to accept them as the faulty people we all are. I needed to stop wanting them to love me and accept the love instead from my husband, my children and my extended family but most of all from Christ. But I also needed to respect my role as their only child.

Words matter. So, I say they are people I happen to know. People that I check in on every now and then because God wants me to. I say it matter-of-factly, without anger, without vengeance, without hurt. God also wants me to pray for them so I do. I pray every day to have the walls they have solidly built around them, through negativity and a lack of any faith, to be torn down. And I know those words are powerful and good.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Makes Sense

September 25, 2020September 24, 2020 krisshetter

Arguing amongst us Christians seems to be at an all time high. I bet the devil is dancing a little jig. We can’t seem to agree on churches being open, wearing masks, gathering together, black lives mattering, funding or defunding the police, whether the president is a racist or not, and on and on and on. We boast of our breadth of knowledge about some topic near and dear to our emotions all the while pressing our perceived enemy’s face down into the dirt.

We forget the most important admonishment from Jesus: To love others.

If we start there, we set ourselves off on the right path toward speaking God’s wisdom rather than “earthly, unspiritual, demonic, wisdom” (James 3:15). But when we decide that something just “makes sense” to us without using the touchstone of God’s Words, oh the rabbit holes we can find ourselves deep within.

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy, and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.”
James 3:13-14

I used to follow a well-known female pastor. I’ve read her books and listened to her sermons. And then an election season came. She was vehement about supporting a certain candidate. She was distraught when he lost. It was based on her hatred for the current occupant of that seat. What made “sense” to her was that the current, very conservative senator was against illegal immigration and therefore a racist – her logic, not mine. However, the candidate she supported was pro-abortion (not just pro-choice), pro-illegal immigration, anti-school choice, pro-legalizing drug use, removing equal voting representation by eliminating the electoral college, and so much more. Just the abortion stance alone had me scratching my head. But a lot of her followers, or fans, went along with her. Just as a lot of Christians can’t seem to agree on abortion, I suppose. When it came down to it, I sought out Godly wisdom to decide whether my thoughts on the situation were in line with Jesus.

What I was led to was not to berate her on social media, not to burn her books, not to ask God to send her into hell. It was to pray for His wisdom and mercy to drop like a blanket over the situation. And with that, I went my own way in peace.

When we make decisions based on what the Bible calls the “flesh” – things that work “best” for us, what makes us feel good, what gets us what we think we want, or what we feel protects us – we are almost guaranteed to go off the rails. Here’s a few contrasts I’ve found when it comes to Earthly Wisdom vs Godly Wisdom

Earthly	Godly
Getting even	Being generous in love and forgiveness
Saving and hoarding	Helping those in need
Protecting “our time”	Generous with our gifts and talents
Avoiding our enemies	Reaching out to build bridges of peace
Being envious	Gaining peacefulness and thankfulness
Gossiping or berating	Building others up
Being deceitful	Seeking meekness and purity
Flip flopping our decisions	Being decisive in God’s righteousness
Withholding love	Giving mercy
Comply with the world’s view	Being sincere in who God made us to be

Just because we call ourselves “Christians” doesn’t mean we can sit back and proclaim all our thoughts and actions good. Even our faith leaders are tested and must continually seek out His Word to ensure we walk on the right path.

“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”
PS 34:14

Pursue it. It doesn’t say “once you’ve sought peace it’s all over, wash your hands, put your feet up and you’re done.” That’s because the devil, that wily adversary, just loves when we let our armor down. Especially when we think we’ve reached the pinnacle of being a “good Christian.” Every single day we are faced with decisions big and small. When we wake up, we decide what kind of day we will have – one living with or without the Holy Spirit. When we get stuck in traffic, encounter an unhappy person, when we see a homeless person, when we get asked to volunteer, we get another text from that relative who has differing political views, when we decide what to watch on tv, and what we say (or don’t say) we are thankful for at the end of the day.

I recently had a back and forth with a commenter who posted on a Christian site something about the organization Black Lives Matter. The commenter stated that the Bible supports the idea touted by the organization Black Lives Matter of destroying the nuclear family and raising our children commune-style. I’m sure that makes them feel good. It sounds lovely. Everyone raising everyone else’s kids and not one person needing to be wholly responsible. When I said I didn’t know where that was in the Bible, she said, “Well, I read the Bible differently than you.” Go figure. So often we find ourselves supporting ideas that sound good, sound loving, sound just, when it’s really based on earthly wisdom, not Godly. When we decide earthly wisdom is correct over God’s we’ve decided to remove Him from the throne. We’ve said we know better than the King of Kings.

For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. PS 95:3

It’s time to place our earthly wisdom right up against the measuring stick of God’s Word. Each time we feel “righteous” or “virtuous” we need a gut check to be sure it makes sense in God’s realm, not man’s.

What areas in your life have you defended which need to be held up against God’s Wisdom Measuring Stick?