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Show Me, Tell Me

First published September 8, 2020 as part of the His Works Project series.

They didn’t want to add to our current, stressful situation.  My husband, their son, owns and operates residential Alzheimer’s care facilities and each day the state government was changing rules related to COVID-19.  The staff were worried. The residents’ families were worried. True to their gracious nature, they didn’t want to add another burden.

You see, my precious mother-in-law had been diagnosed with uterine cancer.  When we talk about angels on Earth you’re talking about her.  When I picture her, I see love.  I see goodness. She is one of my touchstones.  She’s a lot of people’s touchstones. During the last 32 years she has quietly guided my faith journey.  And she has cancer.

News like that can stop your heart for a moment. It certainly stopped mine. Yet almost immediately, my mind drifted back to a passage in James that had been challenging me for months.  In our first look at the book of James, we see him leap from the starting gate in his letter to the church with a challenging statement:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3

A few years ago, that statement might have earned the response, “Are you ‘cray, cray’?”  Meaning you’ve got to be kidding.  Not only “joy” but “pure joy.”  It reminds me of the scene in the movie Animal House — a pop culture film about a college fraternity. In it, actor Kevin Bacon is being initiated into the fraternity.  He is required to be harshly paddled by its members.  But not just paddled, he must also request the beating each time by yelling, “Thank you sir! May I have another!”  The pain is evident on his face with each whack.  Yet he knows he must ask for more to achieve his ultimate goal — membership.

While I don’t believe God wants us begging for trials, He knows in the course of our existence they will naturally come.  In Mark 10, Jesus tells the disciples that not only will they receive a hundred times what they have given up to follow Him but also persecutions.  Throughout the Bible we are encouraged to embrace our trials, whether from persecution, loss, or affliction, so that our faith may mature.

I’ve often heard the phrase “baby Christian,” describing someone who has accepted Christ but not yet matured in faith. Just as physical maturity requires effort and discipline, spiritual maturity requires intentional growth. Trials are often God’s classroom.

Our stunted Christian spiritual growth doesn’t always seem as obvious to us as our physical issues do.  However, it takes much of the same concerted effort to grow in our faith. Too often our spiritual lives become a cycle of victories and setbacks. We make progress, lose ground, and begin again. But we need to seek to be at the place James calls us to — finding Pure Joy in the difficult times.

With James’ simple opening salvo he blasts us into paying attention. We can either 1) scoff and choose to ignore him as a crazy person or 2) say, “tell me how.”

In Luke 22:28 Jesus listens to a dispute among the disciples. They are arguing who is the greater disciple (sounds like one of my PTA meetings).  He interrupts and tells them, “You are (all) those who have stood by me in my trials.”  His trials.  You see, Jesus was sent to not only verbally teach us our Father’s ways but to experience our earthly ways to show us how to handle them.  We mark our spiritual growth chart with each trial when we turn to Jesus and say, “you’ve been here, show me what to do.”

There are plenty of self-help books out there to guide us to being mature adults. But the best book to read for both spiritual growth and worldly maturity is the Bible.  Every single book of the Bible talks about trials or persecution.  And without fail the solution is prayer. Not just any prayer. A personal plea.  A demanding of God’s blessing to rain down on us.  A clearing of our eyes to see the joy.  And then listening.  He will speak to you.

God rarely just throws us first into the fiery pit. And even if He does, He is always with us.  That alone is a blessing for which to be thankful. With each trial, each persecution, He expects us to grow more trusting of Him. Yes, expects.  Dr. Charles Stanley’s Life Lesson #7 says, “The dark moments of our life will last only so long as is necessary for God to accomplish His purpose in us.”  So, my advice to you, accept and learn early and as quickly as possible.

With each trial thrown in your path, you gain perseverance, patience and clarity of God’s presence. But we must do the work of asking Jesus, “Show me.”  I once told my Bible Study group we need to shorten the “ah ha moment gap” from years, to months, to days, to instantly. We all can look back at situations where maybe we didn’t get the job we’d hoped for or maybe even got fired from a job.  Or a loss of a home due to fire, a friendship that soured, a marriage dissolved.  How long has it taken you to accept the way God was working in that time?  Have you seen it yet?  He was there. He spoke to you.

Why is all this important? We know there will be trials so that means we can’t do anything about them, correct?  When we dread what we think is to come, when we are poured into concrete boots of fear during trials, we’ve taken our eyes off Jesus.  And if we are to grow in this project called Us we need a strong foundation of keeping our faith and trust in Him alone.

This is not an easy task.  For some of us it takes every minute of every hour re-focusing our mind on Him – especially when we are afraid.  I’ve come to use the term, “Perspective Change Moment” with some of my friends.  When we start in on our ills, fears, anger, dread it helps to have someone say to us, “Yes, that’s awful and…..”

With the same practice we put into doing our hair every morning or working out or learning how to use our smartphone or figuring out how late we can sleep and still get to work on time we need to attack the devil that keeps trying to pull our eyes away from Jesus.  Show me, Jesus.  Speak to me, God.  It’s not enough to tell yourself, or others, “don’t worry” or “don’t be afraid.”  We must fill our minds with something other than that fear and worry.

In Luke 11, Jesus tells the story of an impure spirit coming out of a person and goes looking for a better place.  When the spirit doesn’t find it he returns to find a nice, clean, empty house.  And you know what that impure spirit does?  He invites a few more friends to join him!  Had that person cast out the spirit with Jesus’ help and filled that home with God’s Word, Jesus’ love, and the constant presence of the Holy Spirit you can bet the evil spirit wouldn’t make it past the garden gate!

I have a good friend who was laid off from her church position about three years ago. It has been difficult for her to find the joy in that trial. For me, I can remember how unhappy she was in that job.  But no matter how many times I told her how miserable she was, she still couldn’t accept it. Until she finished one of her journaling books.

One day a week or so ago she started reading through her old journals from that time. In them she found her old self praying for God’s intervention constantly. Each workday entry was a distraught woman praying for God to fix the problems swirling at work. She finally had her “ah ha moment.”  God was there, telling her to leave. But she kept holding on.  That day she made a new mark on her spiritual growth chart.  God had spoken to her and she had the joy of knowing He was with her.  She could release all the negative emotions surrounding losing that job.  It wasn’t where God wanted her to be.

So, here I was, working on being the best team member I could be for my husband as we waded through the throes of the COVID-19 lockdown and my in-laws finally decided we needed to hear the news.  Cancer.  Just a year ago this would have put me in a tailspin. But in just that year’s time, I’ve gone through a family death, putting on a distance wedding, accepting the fact that I’m not going to work anymore, and much more.  With each trial, I leaned a little more heavily on my Rock and learned to recognize the joy hidden within it.

So, after the news I took my dog for a quiet walk in our nearby canyon and asked Jesus, “Show me.”   I cried out to God the great Counselor, God my Comforter.  I first pleaded and said, “You can’t take her.”  I raised my hands high and begged for mercy for my sweet mother-in-law. I reminded Him she is a faithful servant. She is His loving daughter. And then I listened.

He reminded me we all must pass one day, just as her own mother did a year ago. He reminded me that He loves her even more than I do.  He told me to just keep loving her and living out joy moments right now, today. He showed me that when her time comes, just as mine will too, she will join her mom in glory at God’s card game table.  The battle of who is the best 31 card player will continue into eternity.  And I laughed.

Are you going through a trial and need prayers?  I’d love to pray with you.  Have you gone through a trial and had your “ah ha moment?” Please share.

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He Will Provide

Lessons from Cherith

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down.  Psalm 145:14

We had come to Colorado after receiving the news – my mother-in-law’s constant bowel pain was the result of peritoneal cancer, a rare and deadly disease.  She had never fully recovered from her bout with uterine cancer diagnosed just 18 months prior.  Her markers were clear but this painful and never-ending pain in her stomach kept her sidelined.  We will never know why it wasn’t discovered sooner but there are blessings even in that.

And so, after setting her up on hospice and determining that additional in-home care wouldn’t be sufficient and was well beyond what my father-in-law could afford, I offered to stay longer.  As I said goodbye to my husband who needed to get back to San Diego for work, I was faced with my usual self-doubt.  “I’m not good at this kind of thing” I said to myself.  “I’m not a sweet, kind, compassionate person” I lamented.  “I never know what to say in difficult times” I fretted.  

I was scared to face day-to-day the woman I love as my own mother as she lay living out her last days.  I was worried about how to be around my quiet father-in-law.  I definitely was concerned how to handle all her friends who wanted to visit and needed a shoulder to cry on. And then I finally remembered God.

He has caused his wonders to be remembered;
    the Lord is gracious and compassionate.
5 He provides food for those who fear him;
    he remembers his covenant forever. Psalm 111: 4-5

I went for a walk and soaked in the beauty of the Colorado mountains and realized I didn’t need to have all those gifts.  He has blessed me with so many other gifts that were needed – organizing, communication, and more.  And what I now needed was to lean on Him for the rest of what was required.  

My BSGs had just finished Shirley Giles Davis’ study book, God. Gifts. You. Which takes a deep dive into the list of the gifts given by the Holy Spirit.  Coincidently she lives and works in Boulder, Colorado, just a few miles from where I now found myself needing the strength of God’s gifts.  She reminded us that our gifts can be used for good and have their own pitfalls if used incorrectly.  She showed us how God’s beautiful world can only function properly when we appreciate and honor the intricate ways all people’s gifts are used in harmony.  

As for me, I call to God, and the Lord saves me.  Psalms 55:16

And so, I called on God in humility.  I thanked Him for the blessings of financial security that helped me be there.  I listed in thankfulness the gifts of the Holy Spirit which have been endowed to me.  And I prayerfully spoke the following:

“Lord, I cannot do this without you.  I don’t have the right words for the right moments so I need the Holy Spirit to speak for me.  I don’t have the strength for this gracious Father.  I need you to keep me strong and lifted or I will fail.  Only through your loving grace, using my gifts that I have been blessed with and you filling in the rest will I be able to glorify you and help Bev and all those around her. Please Lord speak in place of my words and be my strength.” Amen

His intervention was immediate as He surrounded me with His love and peace.  All those worries and fears dissipated.  And for the next three weeks the Holy Spirit held me up and spoke for me.  He spoke to the friends who left Bev’s room crying in despair.  He spoke to family members who handle grief differently than me.  He spoke to Bev while I read her Psalms each day to comfort her.  And He kept me from being tired and weak.  I could wake at any hour with ease to administer medication, keep the house clean, and make meals for the ever changing number of people at the house.  He provided, just as He promises, just as He always has.

You are my strength, I sing praises to you; you, God are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.  Psalms 59:17

My BSGs recently completed Priscilla Shirer’s study on Elijah.  In her week 6 video she mentions the definition of faith as aligning our entire life with God’s 8,000 promises found in His Word.  Our faith doesn’t need to be some mysterious feeling that is undefinable.  It’s simple, when we believe God’s promises and live like we do then that is faith.  That’s what Elijah did when he went, as directed by God, to Cherith — a lonely, dry, desolate place. God provided in ways only He can with food delivered by ravens and just enough water to get by for about two years. Elijah knew he couldn’t make it on his own. He needed God to survive. All his knowledge and gifts weren’t going to help him. God would need to fill in where he was lacking.

Friends, God promises over and over to provide for us.  The Bible is filled with endless stories of His provision.  Our own lives are testimonies to those provisions.  Sometimes we just need to remember to humbly ask for Him to provide where we are weak and not gifted.

The morning my beloved Bev went to our Father I was blessed again to have God show me how much He had answered my prayer.  I needed some alone time so I decided to take a shower.  As I stood in the bathroom waiting for the water to warm up, I suddenly felt a huge weight press on me – like an anvil was placed on each shoulder.  I cried out in surprise and then it was gone.  I knew He was showing me what He had sheltered me from for the last few weeks.  And although I am still experiencing the grief of Bev being gone from this earth, that heavy weight has never returned.  I can thank God and the Holy Spirit for being my weight bearers.  And I can thank God that He will provide in our weakest moments.

Where in your life to do you need to ask for God’s provision?  
Where do you feel insufficient and weak?  Ask Him today He will provide!