Tag: decisions

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Enjoying A Wisdom-Filled Life Part Two

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Did you miss part one? Click here!

I knew the mistake as soon as I made it.  But it was too late.  I gave my consent and the ball began to roll.  I knew the mistake I had made because for the last few years I’d heard the advice I disregarded over and over in my church home group.  Ask God first.  Not during, not after, but first.  And here I was doing the exact opposite of that good advice.  I kicked myself for still being what is called a “baby Christian.”  Knowing the Word and knowing the wisdom dispensed therein but not living it out. 

I’ve mentioned this unwise situation in which I placed myself in past posts.  However, when I was pondering the “most unwise decision I ever made” this kept coming to mind.  Mostly because of the pain and suffering it caused me and my family, even to this day.  

You see, about 11 years ago, I begrudgingly agreed to be my kids’ elementary school PTA president.  For a year prior, I told the PTA board I would not be president.  It wasn’t my lack of ability that held me back because I knew I could do the job.  No, instead I warned the board that they weren’t ready for my leadership style.  Big changes were ahead for the school which meant big changes for the parent-teacher association.  We would need to adapt and change in ways I knew would make people very uncomfortable. 

At the time my Christian faith consisted of going to church occasionally, hosting a home group, and not much else.  I wasn’t closely tethered to the Lord.  I hadn’t gained the wisdom necessary to handle political and interpersonal conflict graciously and with self-control.  On the other hand, I was organized, comfortable with leading, and skilled at creative solutions.  I knew how to get things done.

As that year wound down and the nominating committee kept pestering me, I found myself resigned to being the only one willing to step into the role of president.  So, late one evening I heard my voice telling a person over the phone, “Yes.”  As soon as I hung up, I realized I hadn’t sought out the one opinion I needed most, God’s.

For the next two years my family’s life was filled with endless meetings, long phone calls, strife, and an absent mother.  When I wasn’t physically occupied with the details of this volunteer job, I was absent mentally.  At home, I cried frequently and raged about problem parents.  I’m sure there were some good times sprinkled in between.  But those memories have been squeezed out.

It’s not that I believe that had I prayed, the Lord would have told me “no.”  It’s that if I had gotten a “yes” after praying it would have put a completely different spin on the entire experience.  Had I taken all that wise advice I would have kept close to the Lord those two years and been at peace, even during times of trouble.

"Whoever keeps a command will know no evil thing, and the wise heart will know the proper time and the just way." Ecclesiastes 8:5

It’s one thing to seek wisdom, as we saw in the last post, but it’s another to actually use that wisdom every day in our lives.  What would it look like in your life to heed the advice of say a Christian whom you trust?  The advice of your pastor?  The advice given in your Bible study or devotional?  The advice spread throughout the Bible?

"Then the king said to me, “What are you requesting?” So I prayed to the God of heaven. 5And I said to the king, “If it pleases the king, and if your servant has found favor in your sight, that you send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers' graves, that I may rebuild it.” Nehemiah 2:4-5

Nehemiah was desperate to see to the rebuilding of the second temple.  A noble venture for sure.  Just like me stepping up to lead our PTA.  But, he also knew if he went behind the king’s back there would surely be trouble.  You can see tucked in the verse the most important step he took – “So I prayed to the God of the heavens.”  And the right words came out of his mouth to the king.

Some sources suggest that the average person makes an eye-popping 35,000 choices per day. Assuming that most people spend around seven hours per day sleeping and thus blissfully choice-free, that makes roughly 2,000 decisions per hour or one decision every two seconds. 

 Eva M. Krockow Ph.D., Psychology Today

Is it possible to ask God to impart His wisdom for each and every one of those seemingly small decisions? Maybe not, but we can wake each day and ask Him to direct our steps through the Holy Spirit.  He gives us that nudge, that convicting tap on our shoulder, that encouragement throughout our day.

Too often, however, when we seek to make decisions about life, we seek only knowledge.  And knowledge is not wisdom.  Knowledge is data, facts, numbers.  Wisdom is experience and life.  

“Our knowledge is a receding mirage in an expanding desert of ignorance.”

Historian Will Durant, Store of Civilization

One thing I always admired about the disciples is how many questions they asked Jesus.  Although Peter seemed to rely on his own knowledge so often, we get to see him use not only his experiential wisdom and the wisdom imparted by Jesus as he grew more and more faithful.  From Peter thinking he needed to defend Jesus in the garden by attacking the soldier, to denying his association to Jesus, he reflected us all.  We know better than the Almighty God.  We know how best to defend ourselves, how to protect ourselves.  When it all fails, we become destitute and hopefully turn to the Lord.

How many times have you found yourself spiritually or emotionally destitute because you didn’t heed good advice or even seek it?   Wouldn’t it be nice to turn to God first?  To hear the Holy Spirit whisper to us and heed the good advice? 

“For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,
    though a person may be weighed down by misery.

7 Since no one knows the future,
    who can tell someone else what is to come? Ecclesiastes 8:6-7

Experiential wisdom is gained in its proper time and procedure.  Which is why we all should be leery when people say a young person has an “old soul.”  An “old soul” is one that has been on the battlefield of life and has come out with a few scars.  

I started paying attention to my own prayer life and the results thereof.  I went from praying after a decision for God to help it not be a bad one (like running the PTA) to praying in the midst of the process.  Finally, I’ve stopped myself so many times lately and said, “I need to pray first.”  It might be a quick prayer about something seemingly insignificant.  Or it might be a few days, seeking God’s counsel.  And surprisingly, this whole wisdom seeking works pretty good. I can now enjoy my decisions.

Friend, let’s be honest, we can never know all the “right answers.”  If we wait until we have them all you will never take any forward steps.  For some, that keeps them from putting their trust in God.  Because they haven’t gotten all the answers cleared up about the mysteries.  We have to be ok with trusting that God is the Almighty Creator and He hasn’t imparted us with all the facts He has about life.  We have to be ok with asking Him for help and being satisfied with what He gives us.

“.. then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out.” Ecclesiastes 8:17

Being ok with not knowing everything but acting wisely is not ignorance as some might accuse the Christian.  We can and should rest peacefully in knowing what we need to know.  And living our lives out with wisdom, peace, joy and goodness the information we do know — That God is a god who loves us and teaches us and will never leave us.  He is a god who seeks us and wants us to live forever in His Holy Kingdom!  

“Though a sinner does evil a hundred times and prolongs his life, yet I know that it will be well with  those who fear God, because they fear before him.  13But it will not be well with the wicked, neither will he prolong his days like a shadow, because he does not fear before God.” Ecclesiastes 8:12-13

When we first, seek God, then seek His wisdom for our life, and finally live out that wisdom each and every day “it will be well.”  We can watch and be at peace when the unwise, godless people around us make bad or even evil decisions.  We pray for them that they would know God, who can give them a new life.  

We all need wise people around us who fear the Lord first.  We all need to use their wisdom and our experiential wisdom each day so we can enjoy our life especially in times of trouble.  Let’s start by placing God as our most Holy Rabbi front and center. 

Bible, bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, christian men, christian parenting, Christian women, Faith, Jesus, Jesus Follower, prayer, proverbs, religion, Transformation Prayer, Uncategorized, wisdom

Patience In The Waiting

krisshetter 
Blessed are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:34

Have you ever met one of those people that seem to calmly wait in long lines?  Like they’ve got nothing better to do?  That attitude has always seemed strange and foreign to me.  I mean, I’ve got stuff to accomplish. People to see, errands to run!  Patience has definitely not been one of my well-honed attributes.  But if I learned anything during the Covid years it was to slow down, way down.  In fact, when everything started opening up I could feel my body reacting to getting back in the busy flow of life, speeding up to meet the traffic.  The Holy Spirit whispered to me again to slow down, to wait, to watch and to listen.

While the verse today specifically speaks to waiting for wisdom and insight, I think we can all agree that patience really is a virtue in every aspect of our lives.  Oh, how many times in my baby Christian days did I jump into situations without first asking a few questions or even praying about them!  Those were the days of making decisions first then asking God afterwards to make those decisions work out for the best.

As I’ve worked on developing a more patient frame of mind it’s caused me to evaluate why I am impatient.  I mean think about it.  As you’re tapping your foot in line at the coffee shop what are you really contemplating?  Your time is so much more valuable than anyone else’s?  If you were in charge, things would be running a lot smoother?  The cashier obviously isn’t smart enough or cares enough about his job?  The root of all these is pride, lack of grace and humility.

Or maybe you tend to jump at opportunities like a new job, an investment, a free giveaway or a deal on a purchase.  If you don’t act now you might just miss out!  Is it that you’ve placed money as an idol, either saving it or spending it?  Or status and recognition before wise choices?

Friend, unless you are faced with an immediate life or death decision, wisdom asks us just for a few moments of time.  A chance to gain insight into the choice or attitude you are about to take.  So let’s all take a collective breath say a prayer.

Lord, I get so caught up in the daily comings and goings of my life and need your help to slow down and be patient.  Remind me today to give grace to those who need it and seek insight for my decisions.  Amen

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35,000 Decisions

krisshetter 
…yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. 
Habakkuk 3:18

According to Psychology Today we make an average of 35,000 decisions each day.  That’s about 2,000 decisions per waking hour.  I remember when I was working as a public relations and marketing executive at a mid-sized company.  At the end of each day I felt exhausted.  I couldn’t even think about what to make for dinner.  I realized at some point I had decision-making fatigue.

So many of our decisions are ones we don’t really think much about – if we are going to get up and go to work, if we are going to brush our teeth before leaving the house, if we are going to get dressed.  We just sort of do them out of habit or necessity.  

But what about our faith lives?  How many of us have, along our journey, made the decision to fade away from our faith?  Not realizing we’ve made a decision to shut out God.  For some people, because of issues at their church or maybe a difficult time in their life they actually made a conscious decision to completely turn away.

There are basically three types of people shown in the Bible.  First there is the nonspiritual person who has not accepted God at all.  Second there is the person who has accepted Jesus as their savior but still lives by the world’s expectations. And third is what is considered a “mature believer.”  This person learns to do the will of God no matter how he/she feels or how difficult it is.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  
1 Corinthians 13:11

This is where the term “baby Christian” arises.  It’s the second type person described.  Picture how a baby lives its life.  Crying and throwing a tantrum when things get uncomfortable.  Babies are very self-focused people.  They don’t care if you haven’t slept all night or exhausted from a long day at work.  They want, they need, they demand.  If they don’t get it, they aren’t happy.  They live off feelings and wants and needs.  It may sound harsh, but how many of us are living our Christian lives this way?

No matter what level we are on, we should want to grow , but if we find we are still in the baby stage of Christianity, we should certainly make a commitment to God to start working with His Holy Spirit toward maturity.  

Joyce Meyer, Change Your Words, Change Your Life

That’s why I like the verse from Habakkuk today.  Prior to verse 18 the prophet lists all the things that are going wrong – the fig tree isn’t budding, there’s no grapes, the olive crop is failing, and there’s no livestock.  Yet he will rejoice.  

Great faith is maturing faith. Great faith is growing faith. And great faith is becoming stronger and great faith is standing on the truth of the Word of God. Not feelings, not other people’s opinions, not the past, great faith stands on the truth of the Word of God. Here’s what God is saying. And the focus is on God. Great faith is always focused on God. 

Charles Stanley

And growing faith means choosing to be faithful. We humans don’t tend to like to be the cause of our problems. We want our lack of commitment to God to be about something that happened to us, an absence of the right feelings, or because of the world’s demands. But it’s really about where we have placed so many of our 35,000 decisions. In how many of them did we even consider God’s desires for us?

When you feel like quitting or running away, remember that you can’t run away from your troubles and you can’t run away from yourself. The solution is not running away; it’s running to. It’s running to the throne of grace and finding grace to help in time of need.

Warren W. Wiersbe, Prayer, Praise & Promises: A Daily Walk Through the Psalms

Take the time today to consider your decision making and how it relates to your commitment to God.  Sometimes we are tasked to just decide to run to Him – not waiting for a feeling or some grand emotion to well up inside us.  If we can make the decision to get up and go to work today or the decision to do the laundry or get the kids off to school we can make the decision to open our Bible. We can make the decision to have a conversation with Jesus. 

Most of the 35,000 decisions we make today will be for the world of the flesh.  How many can we carve out to be the ones that matter for all of eternity?

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Uncategorized

Yes, No, Kinda

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As I sit here typing I am enjoying the sounds of my neighbor’s roof being ripped apart by workers.  Yes, enjoying.  You see my new neighbors moved in about two months ago.  And then they moved out.  I haven’t seen them much over the two months because they had their flooring all re-done.  And then re-done.  The person they originally hired to install their beautiful reclaimed wood floors did a horrible job – when he showed up.  So, they had to fire him and hire a new installer.  And now the roof.  They’ve been told for weeks the new roof would be installed any day.  Last week they were told it would be on Thursday.  Then Friday.  Then Monday.  So today the roofers finally arrived.  I like my new neighbors and I know how frustrating this has been for them.  So yes, I’m enjoying the noise knowing the work has finally started.   It seems that there are so few people and companies we can actually rely on today who make their “yes” mean “yes.”  It may sound harsh, but when we don’t make our “yes” mean “yes” and our “no” mean “no” that’s called lying.

Above all, do not swear – not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “yes” or no.” 

James 5:12

I watched an interesting video interaction once where a pastor went up to people and asked if they sinned and had broken the 10 commandments.  They all said, “no.”  Then he started asking them questions.  “Have you ever taken a pen from your work?” That’s stealing.  “Have you ever ‘swore to God’ you would do something for someone and you didn’t?”  That’s taking God’s name in vain.  And on and on.  It was fascinating to watch the faces of the people change.  They looked humbled.

The Bible is big on trustworthiness.  God’s covenant with us is His way of setting this concept in the forefront.  He is trustworthy.  He is the God of yesterday, today and tomorrow.  He is the Rock we can trust will be with us in times of trouble.  And He asks us to work on being trustworthy with our promises. When we are asked by a friend not to reveal something told in confidence, we aren’t to go into that decision lightly.  With God’s wisdom by our side we give our “yes” or our “no.”  And we stick by it.  We don’t need to swear it.  We just need to mean it.

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”

Proverb 11:13

I was a PTA president at my daughters’ elementary school for two years.  I frequently asked people to help on projects or events.  I appreciated those who would say “no” and not be squirmy about it.  I, of course, really appreciated the people who gave me an eager “yes” and meant it.  The people I had the most issue with were those that said “yes” and then wouldn’t show up, wouldn’t do the work, or gave a half-hearted effort.  They would swear they wanted to help. It’s those people that I felt had they said no, I would’ve been better off.  

If he is a true man and has plainly said, “I will,” you have him in your hand.  He was free before giving it but not free after.

Charles Spurgeon

What if we all thought that way when we gave our decisions?  Before we answer, we are fully free to pick whichever we wish.  But once we say “I will” we are fully committed.  Yes, circumstances arise that may be difficult to follow through – a late order from another company, the weather, an illness, something breaks down – but knowing we have made that commitment we will move heaven and earth to fulfill that obligation.  We all have experienced situations where a person or company fails in their obligation.   It is their reaction to that failure that we most respond to.  Are they willing to make up for the failure?  Are they contrite? Or do you get a “whatever” response?  We will determine then if they are trustworthy or not.

When we enter into that covenant with another person by giving our “yes” we need to be sure we aren’t impetuous.  Are we making that decision to impress others or even to impress God?  I was involved with a woman through Girl Scouts and PTA for many years who volunteered for everything.  People on the outside thought she was amazing!  Her name was on all the volunteer lists.  The only problem was she never actually followed through and completed the tasks.  

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. 

Luke 16:1-

That’s Jesus talking.  And he’s not just talking about following through with commitments we make and being honest.  He’s also talking about saying “no” to things we need to say “no” to.  When we are tempted to do wrong, we need to just say a firm “no.”  When we are asked to take on a task and have prayed about it and God tells us “no,” we need to say the same to the asker.  Not “maybe.”  Not, “possibly.”  Not, “I’ll see.”  We don’t need some long explanation.  With His wisdom tucked firmly in our back pocket to be used at a moment’s notice, we can be firm on our “no.”  Sometimes it’s difficult to decide which way to turn.  If only we had the breastplate described in Exodus 28:15

Fashion a breastpiece for making decisions—the work of skilled hands. Make it like the ephod: of gold, and of blue, purple and scarlet yarn, and of finely twisted linen.

Exodus 28:15

Included on the tunic was a pocket with a black and a white stone.  When a big decision needed to be made, the faith leader would reach in and pull out the stone.  Black for no and white for yes.  It reminds me of those Magic 8 Balls.  Although those always seemed stuck on “Maybe.”

In my post on patience I listed the reasons you should have patience.  One of those was for better decision-making.  When we aren’t emotional and stressed, we can think through a decision much clearer.  As a Christian we have the power of prayer.  We have the Word of God.  How many of us, when faced with a big decision turn to both of these?  And wait for an answer?  I used to volunteer for anything thrown my way.  Part of it was out of pride – thinking how great it was to be asked.  Another part was needing to always be “doing something.”  After I volunteered THEN I would ask God to work it out.  Yes, a bit backwards.  

I learned a long time ago at my first professional, career job that, when making especially difficult or controversial decisions, I wanted to align those decisions with my boss.  That way I knew if issues came up, I was supported.  That thinking has served me well throughout my working career.  And when I finally applied that same concept to the rest of my life it made giving my “yes” and my “no” much easier.  God is my boss.  When I align my decisions with His Word, I am strengthened by the promises He has made.  I know He is working all things for my good.

But if I do judge, my decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me.

John 8:16