Charles Stanley

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To Be The 3rd Man

June 23, 2023June 23, 2023 krisshetter

During the last five years or so I started gaining the dreaded hormonal weight. As a woman over 50 I’ve watched a donut grow around my waist. Being tall, I can frequently hide this mysterious weight gain but I know it’s there. So of course, I decided to try and diet my belly away. I successfully lost weight through a program called Noom, multiple times. Yes, after about a year of relishing my new body, the weight crept back on. My second stint with Noom saw the same weight loss and eventual gain. I constantly blame myself for failing to have enough self-control so I don’t become “fat grandma” instead of “fit grandma.” And while I do recommend the Noom program – which isn’t really a diet at all but rather a healthier way of looking at food – it lacks one feature that would make it complete. God.

The Christian way of self-control is not “Just say no!” The problem is with the word “just.” You don’t just say no. You say no in a certain way: You say no by faith in the superior power and pleasure of Christ. It is just as ruthless. And may be just as painful. But the difference between worldly self-control and godly self-control is crucial. Who will get the glory for victory? That’s the issue. Will we get the glory? Or will Christ get the glory? If we exercise self-control by faith in Christ’s superior power and pleasure, Christ will get the glory.”
John Piper, The Fierce Fruit of Self-Control

How many times in your life have you sought to abstain or control a behavior that is destructive or just isn’t serving you well by thinking, “I just need to say no!” ? And yet over and over you fail. Sometimes in little bits and sometimes with flair. It seems the one thing we tell ourselves over and over not to do is exactly what we find ourselves doing. But take heart, we are not alone.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” Romans 7:15-20

Paul, we feel your pain. He sounds exactly like the second type of man that C.S. Lewis describes in his essay about the three types of man. The one we looked at in the last post who has a divided mind. Thankfully, Paul does not leave us in this fretful state. He makes a right turn into Mr. Lewis’ third man.

“Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” ….” Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set youfree from the law of sin and death. Romans 7:24-25 & 8:1-2

A life free from sin, death and I might add, shame. Sounds like a pretty good place to be, doesn’t it? How do we get there? How do we stop being double-minded, trying to put our weight on that wobbly rock and instead on the only solid rock we need? First, by declaring Jesus as our Lord and Savior. And secondly, turning our entire life over to Him.

You see, the third man in Mr. Lewis’ essay has done something violent. They have fiercely killed their old self. All their time, their thoughts, their actions, emotions, belong to God which means it also belongs to them because they are His. It is a daily choice to submit their all to Him. This man is joyfully obedient, not sullenly dragged to do good.

The abundant life is a choice you make day by day to embrace God who created you to be. Becoming the masterpiece God formed you to be is a lifelong process, but it is worth it because of the beautiful, unique reflection you become of your Savior.”
Charles Stanley, God’s Purpose for Your Life

The first time I realized the cycle of failure in not including God in seeking a better, fruit-filled life was when I attempted to stop cursing. Throughout my day I told myself to not curse. Of course, I found myself doing it more! My thoughts were placed on the wobbly rock – my own self. And cursing was what was on my mind. It wasn’t until I placed them in the Holy Spirit’s hands that I found success. When in trigger situations I turned to God, even for a brief moment. “What would He want out of me right now? Anger or love?”

“For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13

Friend, just as in all the other Fruits of the Spirit, biblical self-control is not the same as the world’s. The world says, “Try harder. And when you fail, sit in shame.” God, on the other hand, assumes you cannot be the only member in this fight of wills. He tells us to put on our full armor – His Word, salvation, peace, truth, the righteousness gifted to you, and the shield of faith. We take this armor and call it trust. Trusting in the only solid rock that can hold our weight and get us safely to the other side of the river.

When you see the words “self-control,” don’t jump to all the things you contemplated in your personal inventory and think, “I can fix this.” Instead, drop to your knees and cry out to the Holy Spirit for help. As the two of you begin a new life and new self together you will find your “have to’s” turning in to “get to’s.” Your new self allows the light of the Lord to shine on all areas of your heart and mind.

For me, I stop thinking about cursing and turn to love and kindness and gentleness. For others they stop being angry and unforgiving and experience patience and peace and joy. We stop obsessing over our needs, for our bodies, our hearts and minds and instead ask God what He wants of us. In other words, we stop growing weeds and start blooming and living a full Christian life.

Thank you for joining me on this journey through the Fruit of the Spirit! Be sure to follow the blog to receive your notice about the next series!

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:19-25

The Wobbly Rock

June 21, 2023June 21, 2023 krisshetter

It always seems to start with just one bite, one taste, one look, one try. We soon find ourselves groaning in disbelief that we ate it all again. Did the one thing we were working so hard to avoid, again. Disappointed someone again. Backslid, again. The world wants to blame Adam for this problem but it was Eve who started us down this ugly path of weakness, self-gratification and indulgence.

To be fair, it was who she decided to put her trust in that caused the Great Fall. Two parties working in concert– Satan and Eve’s pridefulness– to disobey God’s command that fateful day led us to where we are today. Adam, that poor soul, had a two-against-one situation convincing him all was well. Of course, it was really two-on-two if Adam had simply spoke God’s name and asked for help. God’s omnipotence would have been the finger pressed heavily on the scale for Adam and Eve to turn from the fruit in question.

But because they both placed their trust in what pastor John Ortberg calls, “a wobbly rock,” we find ourselves repeating a version of the world’s first story each day. Pastor Ortberg, describes this wobbly rock like the one he decided to put his trust in one day while crossing a stream. It looked secure and rooted in the soil. As he leapt on it the rock gave way and into the water he went. Resulting in numerous injuries. And the question today is, “what wobbly rock are you placing your trust in?”

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.  2 Timothy 3:1-5

I suppose we should ask, are we such people Paul is warning against? In C.S. Lewis’ essay on the three kinds of men he describes the first type of man as one who lives totally for themselves without any acknowledgement of a higher being who will pass judgment on them or have any expectations of them. For this person, the idea of self-control is based on the whim of the day. “I should” or “I shouldn’t” enter their vocabulary based on family, social group or society’s expectations. This person places their trust in a shifting set of rules based on new emotions, facts, and desires. Today’s “well done” is tomorrow’s regret not because of eternal judgment but because the rules have changed.

The second person is one which Mr. Lewis says most of society reflects. They know they should live a certain way and sincerely try to do so but only after they have first ensured their own security and happiness. They believe in that higher power. Maybe even call him God or Jesus. These are Adams and Eves. They’ve experienced God in some way. But are divided in where they put their full trust. They give to their church or charities but only as leftovers. They stand up for the higher power as long as it doesn’t cost them much. They are drawn to wanting to fit in with the latest views on sexuality and morality while at the same time knowing the Truth of God’s Word. They call their faith “personal” and wouldn’t dream of sharing it. They “do the right thing” because they think they have to or else God might be angry. Or to gain favor with God. Their self-control still stems from their own will, but gets a nice dose of god-guilt on top when they fail to meet what they think God wants from them. A wobbly rock to be sure.

Many times, however we take it on ourselves to define what’s good for us, and we can be tempted to doubt God for disagreeing with us.”
Charles Stanley

Doesn’t that sound exactly like Adam and Eve? Their self-control lasted only as long as something sounded a bit better or reasonable. Satan didn’t erase God from their minds. No, he took God’s words and twisted them in such a way that fed their gift of self-will. I can only imagine the guilt and shame they must have felt as they packed up their fig leaves, a few bags of grain and fruit, and passed from the Garden gates. From that day forth they probably tried really hard to do the right thing yet knew they were weak and could easily backslide into self-gratification. It sounds like them, but does it also sound like you?

Before we look at the third man in Mr. Lewis’ essay, I have a task for you. Pastor Ortberg recommends taking this personal inventory to find out, with honesty, where we sit with God. Are we relying on a wobbly rock which either leads us to temporary self-control or a self-control done with a “I have to” attitude? This isn’t a confession to God, just inventory-taking. No guilt, no correction, just a self-examination. Be fearless and searching, remembering God loves you.

Pride: Is ego ever on the throne in my life? Self-promotion, selfishness, sense of entitlement? Lack of being a servant?
Anger: Where is there resentment in me? Where are the obsessive thoughts that want to strike out all the time? Have I gotten physically violent or just withdrawn
Sexuality: Are there decisions I have made around my sexual behavior where I feel regret or guilt? Have I been unfaithful? Are there patterns of addiction, sexual pornography? Have I crossed lines in relationships? Have I been the victim of sexual assault or molestation?
Envy: Do I ever compare myself to other people – appearance, career, family, bank account?
Gluttony: Do I use food as a way to escape or isn’t good for my body? Or are there other appetites that would lead my body down the wrong path?
Sloth: Not just a lack of activity but is there a failure to do what needs to be done? Do I ever procrastinate with things that have high value?
Greed: Do I ever hoard? Am I gripped by a false sense of financial insecurity? Do I not manage finances well? Do I give the way God would want me to?

Remember, after you have completed this searching about where you lack in self-control or have placed your trust, if you are a follower of Jesus, God will lead you out of any guilt or shame. Turn to Him, for He is the God who restores.

Coming Up: To Be The 3^rd Man

Endurance Brings Hope

May 26, 2023May 22, 2023 krisshetter

Quite possibly the greatest lesson in the Bible about patience and endurance (both makrothymia) or lack thereof, is the one of Abraham and Sarah. The Lord comes to Abraham and promises that he will be the father of literally millions (Gen 15:5) and yet for years and years Abraham remained childless. He began to doubt God’s faithfulness in His promises. So, he and Sarah decided impatiently to take matters into their own hands and create a child of Abraham through a slave girl. That child, Ishmael, became the thorn in the Israelites’ side until this very day. And even though they tried to circumvent God, God still came through on His promise with the birth of their own son even after Sarah was determined to be post-child birthing age.

They had hoped. They had endured. Until they didn’t. Abraham and Sarah created their own timeline based on their inaccurate belief in the limited power of God.

When was the last time you said, “It’s too late. It’ll never happen.”? Although what you have prayed for might not come to fruition as you have asked, God is still working with you in the situation. Sometimes it seems you’ve been listening and waiting patiently yet at every turn you feel thwarted, abused, attacked, broken. It’s time like these that our faith is tested. You are not alone. Each one of the apostles, men who had spent hours, days, years in the very presence of God would have to then learn to keep trusting, keep enduring.

He is lining up your circumstances in a way that is better than you could ever imagine. When you wait for the Lord, you should look forward to what He will do with joyful expectation and confident hope, because He is providing the very best for you.”
Charles Stanley, 30 Life Principles

He wants the very best fruit to come out of you. Not just a red apple, but the juiciest red apple you’ve ever tasted. He wants trees rooted deeply in Him, watered richly by Him and grown in His beautiful light. It means in those times of trials, long suffering (also makrothymia) we don’t let go. We don’t try and go it alone.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40:1-2

Our hope can endure because we know He is a God who gives generously (James 1:5). He will provide in our darkest times; we need only look for Him in the circumstance. We patiently wait for our hope to bloom into something bigger and more beautiful which may be when we finally are home in heaven.

Notice that we take action while waiting? Patiently is an adverb. It describes an activity. While we endure through our trial we pray, we seek His love, we experience His joy and peace. We watch for ways He is using us to help others.

The key to patience is faith in the all-embracing, all-guiding, all-wise, all-gracious providence of God to transform all the interruptions of his children into rewards. Can we not, then, write in big letters, as a heading over our lives and over every frustration, “Satan, you meant that for evil; God meant it for good” (Gen 5:2)?
John Piper

Friends, we are all waiting. Waiting for small things and very large things. We are waiting for the disappearance of pain and the appearance of our hopes come alive. At times, we say we wait to feel complete or more alive. And God is saying be patiently waiting, watching, learning, trusting. He is doing great things in you.

Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. James 5:10-11

Amen

Impatiently Waiting

May 24, 2023April 28, 2023 krisshetter

There must not be many other words in human language that can evoke as much negative response as the word “wait.” For what? How long? Why? No one likes to wait it seems. We don’t want to wait in line, wait for the doctor, wait for the test results, wait for the phone call and so much more. We’ve created online shopping so we don’t have to wait to go searching around town for what we need. We have fast food so we don’t have to wait to cook a homemade meal. And although modern conveniences can help us to accomplish other, more important tasks, there are plenty of things worth waiting for. The birth of child, a harvest, the right spouse, freshly baked bread are but a few!

There are, however, clear times that, if we want to blossom as Christians, we need to not only wait but wait patiently, not allowing our fleshly desires to supersede God’s omniscience. To marry or not, to have children, take that job, move to another home, how to deal with difficult people or situations, medical decisions – all these potentially life-altering choices should be sought patiently in wisdom with the Lord. I have heard from too many Christians about failed marriages because they were too impatient to wait for the right person.

“Do not run ahead of God! The delays may be very challenging for you, but they are growing your faith in Him. Look to Him, strengthen yourself in His Word and love, remain confident that He is working on your behalf.”
Charles Stanley, 30 Life Principles

So ok, we get it. We need to wait on God’s wisdom. But the waiting isn’t the fruit. The waiting is the fertilizer, the opportunity for the fruit, which is patience in that waiting.

My friends and family know I have not typically been a patient person. I’m a doer. I make decisions and get things done. I hate waiting around for other people. Until one day it hit me. What does my impatientness (another word I made up) look like to the world? If I were to ask you the characteristics of an impatient person, you’d probably say someone who looks angry, frustrated, annoyed, maybe even beligerent. To the world it looks like someone lacking in the other fruits — love, joy and peace.

My getting frustrated in waiting was fruit killing. The killer spray I was using on my fruit was my pride. I knew better how to make things happen faster, more efficient, more productive. I knew better than almost anyone I encountered, especially God. And the world says, “Why should I be a Christian if I still look like that?”

They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.  Titus 1:16

Yikes! Talk about a conviction. True patience isn’t really just a lack of doing something. It’s also about what’s going on inside our hearts and heads. Are we thinking loving, joyful thoughts during a “waiting” moment? Do we have peace from God knowing He has a plan for us in this time? Because I’ll tell you my friend, if we stand in line tapping our foot and being annoyed we might just miss the opportunity to help an elderly person who is struggling with her groceries.

The line, the wait, is just as long for Christians and non-Christians. Are we to be the same in how we deal with it? Or are we to remember “the eye of life’s tornados is the calm hope of our final destination” as Christian author Dane Ortlund observes? At all times.

These short term opportunities for patiently waiting help build up our long-term waiting muscles. When the pregnancy hasn’t happened, yet. When the right job hasn’t come along, yet. When the pain hasn’t gone away, yet. When our sons and daughters haven’t accepted the Lord, yet. These aren’t times to get impatient. They are times to show the world what we believe is true.

Each of those “yets” is a hope we place in God’s faithful, loving hands. He’s asking us to trust Him, just like He asked Abraham, the Israelites, and the apostles. He’s saying, “Wait.” More importantly He’s saying, “Wait patiently without fretting, without worry, without fear. Trust me.”

Is there something you are hoping for today? Ask Him in prayer. Then wait patiently. It may not be answered today or tomorrow or even in 10 years. But during that time of patience He will do great things in and through you.

Coming up: From Endurance to Hope

Transformational Love

February 25, 2023February 25, 2023 krisshetter

Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.
Ephesians 6:24

“What you should know about God’s love is that it is absolute – divine, eternal, and sacrificial. His care for you does not waver or change over time. He is not influenced by circumstances or situations. His love for you cannot be diminished. Likewise, whatever we might say about God Himself, we must say about His love – it is wise, powerful, and ever present with us. His love penetrates our deepest wounds and causes us to heal, change and grow. And if we allow His love access, it will overtake us completely – heart, soul, mind, and strength. Are you willing? Have you accepted God’s love? Have you allowed it to reach into every area of your life and transform you? If not, you should. Because absolutely nothing fills the emptiness like or is better than His awesome love.” God’s Purpose for Your Life, Charles F. Stanley

Bible, bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, christian men, christian parenting, Christian women, Faith, Jesus, Jesus Follower, prayer, religion, Uncategorized

Love In Action

February 16, 2023February 16, 2023 krisshetter

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18

“He not only created you with care but redeemed you in love. And because He gives you both earthly and eternal life, He has a right to work through you as His ambassador, for His glory.” God’s Purpose For Your Life, Charles Stanley

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Love Comes From God

February 15, 2023March 4, 2023 krisshetter

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:7

“No one is beyond the reach of God’s love. Jesus made this clear by saving people like a greedy, dishonest tax collector, a criminal on the cross next to Him, and Saul—a persecutor of His church. God’s love isn’t dispensed according to how good we’ve been. On that basis, no one could be saved.

Divine love can’t be fully comprehended by the human mind, but it can nonetheless be ours through faith in Jesus Christ. And from the moment a person receives that love, he or she will forever live under its protective canopy. ” Charles Stanley

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Love Made Complete

February 12, 2023February 13, 2023 krisshetter

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 John 4:12

“The Lord wants you to believe that His love for you is steadfast—and that it can ground you in the difficult seasons of life. Are you seeking to grow in your comprehension of His love? The more you dwell on divine grace, the more firmly you’ll stand during trials. Begin by asking God to give you a deeper understanding as you mediate on His love as described in His Word.” Charles Stanley

Bible, bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, christian men, christian parenting, christian podcast, Christian women, Faith, Jesus, Jesus Follower, Uncategorized

“Those” Seasons

April 20, 2022April 19, 2022 krisshetter

Hello friends! It’s been a while since I’ve added to my blog. For the last few months I’ve been in one of “those” seasons. Loss, heartache, questioning, along with so many conversations with God and His Holy Spirit. As James reminds us,

“Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

And ain’t that the truth.

We have a few roads from which to choose when we go through our difficult seasons. We can beg the Lord to go back to the familiar and comfortable. We can rush our minds to the other side of the trial either imagining an outcome far worse or far better than we hope or fear. Or we can learn a bit from Jesus’ brother and “let this perseverance finish its work so we can be mature and complete.” In other words, we live in this God-given moment right now, seeking His blessings, seeking His voice, and seeking the lessons to be learned.

The day I wrote this post my devotional reminded me to not work for food that perishes but for the food which endures eternal life. (Charles Stanley, Every Day in His Presence) I was admonished to change my point of view and not focus on the problems right in front of me but rather what God’s interest is in developing me for His eternal purpose. And very importantly, asking for help in learning His lessons quickly so that His peace and strength would again be my resting place.

During these last few months I’ve also been deep dive into Priscilla Shirer’s study on Elijah with my BSGs. As usual, God is using all of my life to teach me about standing firm in my faith and stepping forward in trust. And as I have prayed to God to reveal to me my next blog series I kept hearing the phrase: “Lessons from Cherith.” You see, Elijah had to spend a lot of time alone, facing his own trials before he was ready for the “big show.” In that time, some of which was in the area called Cherith, he had to choose to either trust God’s eternal plan for him or not. He had to remove so many well-honed cultural and religious thoughts of “the way things are supposed to be” and instead see how God works. And he had to decide to stand out amongst the crowd.

And although my “Cherith” hasn’t lasted for as long as Elijah’s or even as long as Jesus was in the wilderness, I learned some valuable lessons while communing with the Holy Spirit. In the next few weeks I’d like to share some of these with you. To hopefully help us realign our lives to be Christian lives, lived out for all the world to see. For our friends and neighbors and co-workers to be spurred to ask why we seem different.

Friends, we can’t keep wandering through the wilderness of this earthly world living up to its standards. It’s time to take our hard earned lessons from “those seasons” and put them to work for the glory of God.

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Fiery Trials

November 16, 2021November 16, 2021 krisshetter

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Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12

There’s a famous line in the movie Animal House, “Thank you, Sir! May I have another!” which the college students must say as they receive a paddling in order to become members of the fraternity house. This scene always comes to mind when I read about the trials and tribulations we most certainly will face as followers of Jesus.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3

James especially brings this message home – not only will we endure trials but we should enjoy them! Of all the lessons and directives in the Bible I think I find this one of the most difficult. In my more “infant” Christian stage it could take me months or years to see the blessings from a fiery trial. But as I have progressed in my faith journey I’m working to shorten that time span. My goal? To be in the moment of trials asking God to show me the lesson and blessing. And not only that, to try and be a blessing to others while things aren’t going so well for me.

The dark moments of our life will last only so long as is necessary for God to accomplish His purpose in us.
Charles Stanley, 30 Life Principles

I don’t know about you but I’m taking this to heart these days. I want to accept the lesson as quickly as possible. And while I’m not begging for trials, I know for certain they will come. I’m so thankful He has given us opportunities to improve our hearts and minds, our relationships with other people, and with the Creator Himself. I heard Joyce Meyer say the other day, “When we are in the midst of a trial we get thrown at God.” And I’m thankful when we are thrown into the midst of the fire He is right there reaching for us.