Be completely humble and gentle;
be patient, bearing with one
another in love.Ephesians 4:2
A prayer to be a patient person
Faithful Father, I get so caught up in the busyness of life that I forget that my needs and desires are not the same as everyone else’s. When I’m running late, I want to yell at the drivers in front of me for not moving quickly enough. The slow grocery store bagger receives my glare when she doesn’t work at the same speed which I expect. Or when a friend doesn’t respond to my text as prompt as I need, I get frustrated. I’ve come to realize, LORD, through your holy Word that my impatience is an outgrowth of my lack of humility. Your admonishment to love one another needs to be on my lips when I feel that frustration and anger well up inside me. LORD, I know there is nothing more important to you than having your children express compassion and love for each other. Rest your loving hand on my shoulder as a reminder for when I forget this. Quell my impatient heart and mind and replace it with grace. In your Son’s name I pray, Amen.
When my children were younger, I found myself praying daily for patience. My youngest had the unique ability to press all my “hot buttons” at one time. But patience seemed to allude me. I heard a pastor during this time give the advice to stop beating our heads against the wall if something we prayed for wasn’t manifesting and to pray for something else. It made me realize that maybe God wasn’t answering my prayers because He had other work still to do in me.
Fast forward a few years and I’ve finally come to realize, through God’s nudging and conviction, that I first needed to figure out why I was always so impatient. And as the verse in Ephesians today tells us we need to be “completely humble and gentle.” It was a hard pill to swallow when I pulled back the curtain to see my inner Wizard of Oz working away trying to control everything. And when people aren’t acting as I want them to, I become angry and impatient.
Whoever is patient has great
understanding, but one who is
quick-tempered displays folly.Proverbs 14:29
Great understanding. Understanding of our why’s – not just because we obviously have somewhere much more important to be than everyone else – but our “why” of why we think that. Why do we think our time and our talent or even treasure is so much higher on the scale of importance that we need to tap our feet in obvious disgust? Or we need to blare our horns and use our fingers in un-godly ways. If we are late, who’s fault really is it? If we are up against a deadline, who needs to truly take responsibility for that situation?
God’s Word is great at convicting, correcting and revealing our “why’s.” The next time you find that old foe called “impatience” welling up inside you stop and dig deeper. Pull back the curtain on your wizard and ask God to show you what’s causing so much distress. He will show you. And then He will test you, over and over.
We see you Mr. Wizard!
If we all can learn, through a renewed humbleness, to be patient and bearing with one another in love just think how much kinder this world will feel. I’m asking God to start with me.
If you want this too, add the prayer to your daily prayer list and watch and see how God works in your life!
I have told you this so that
my joy may be in you and that
your joy may be complete.John 15:11
A prayer to live a joy-filled life.
Gracious God your gifts and blessing to me cannot be counted. And yet so often I turn to the negative parts in my life and place my constant thoughts in them. When I rise I forget to be thankful that I have yet another day in which to serve you and be blessed by you. And as I go about my day when you place joyful moments at my fingertips I take them for granted. When I lay my head down to sleep I can easily recall all that went wrong in the day rather than what went right. But your joy is there for the taking. I want to live basked in your greatness, your beauty and your joy. I can and will, with your help, find joy in every circumstance. You are working for my good at all times and I just need to remember that promise. Thank you for giving us your Son who implanted the Holy Spirit in us – a spirit of joy and of goodness. I pray this in your Son’s Holy name, Jesus. Amen
I always called her a Pollyanna. The term comes from the movie of the same name in which a young girl arrives at a small town filled with bitter people. But her neverending, cheerful spirit wins them over. Nowadays, a “Pollyanna” seems to be said as a negative. That, along with wearing “rose-colored glasses” are attributed to people who just want to see the positives in everything. I know, makes you sick, doesn’t it?
But my mother-in-law truly is such a person. And this last year that cheerful, joy-filled spirit was truly tested, not only with all the lockdowns but with a diagnosis of cancer. On her worst days she was a bit dispirited. Yes, worst days. I mean the woman seemed to look forward to her cancer treatments because she would probably run into a friend and chat for hours while the poison did its deadly work.
A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up
the bones.Proverbs 17:22
At times being a “bit dispirited” can seem like my best day. I’ve been a well-trained, tried and true pessimist for so long that the concept of daily joy is a lot of work for me to achieve. It’s easy to sit back and marinate in the mess of life. It takes work to get up, dust ourselves off and say “oh well let’s make the best of this.”
Thank goodness our strength comes from the LORD. I’m committing myself to stopping negative thinking and instead, like playing a game of “Where’s Waldo,” searching for the joy in the moments of my life. I know they are there because joy is one of the promised fruits of His spirit.
He’s there somewhere! Just keep searching!
I stood in Walmart the other day waiting in a long line to check out. Normally, I’d be mentally lopping off all the heads of the cashiers for taking so long and planning my complaint letter to management for not opening more registers. Instead, I settled in to God’s joy. I was happy to have found all the items on my long list and the people watching at Walmart is topnotch! I was so bathed in God’s joy that I even let someone with only two items go in front of me.
I could have turned a simple shopping trip into a miserable experience very easily. I’m counting on God to keep giving me opportunities to flip the script from pessimist to Pollyanna. Because when the day comes when I need it most, I want to be well-trained and tested in living a joy-filled life.
If you want this too, add the prayer to your daily prayer list and watch and see how God works in your life!
When he takes the throne of his kingdom, he is to write for himself on a scroll a copy of this law, taken from that of the Levitical priests. It is to be with him, and he is to read it all the days of his life so that he may learn to revere the Lord his God and follow carefully all the words of this law and these decrees.
Deuteronomy 17:18-19
A prayer to be deeply knowledgeable about God’s Word
“Holy God, I confess that I have spent much of my Christian life hearing your Word and yet not absorbing and living out our Word. I’ve sat in your Holy presence at church and listened, then walked out of the doors and turned my thoughts solely on selfish and worldly pursuits. So I often, when I hear a conviction through your Word, I think of someone else who needs to hear the message – all the while it is me that needs to accept the correction. I allow my endless “to do lists” to take time away from learning more about you, from soaking my soul with your loving spirit. I allow my “study” of your Word to just be catchy verses that scroll by on social media. LORD, with your teaching and guidance I will proclaim that I am deeply knowledgeable about your character through your Word. I will be your faithful student. I lift this up in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
A year ago, my Bible Study Girls, as I call them, started meeting to study His Word. We couldn’t have ever predicted the tribulations our world went through just two months later. As the Covid pandemic swept through the world, we moved from study to study, different books of the Bible and different topics. We were committed to gleaning something about God’s character, something we could hold on to, from each study. And we discovered a lot about ourselves.
Know also that wisdom islike honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hopewill not be cut off.Proverb 24:14
I finally became committed to setting aside Bible study time in the morning. I found just by starting my day with the Word of God rather than the news or Instagram, set my day on the right footing. But I want more. I want to know everything I can about the Holy Being who created not just me, but every single living thing on this planet – including the planet. I want to know what He expects of me and what I can expect of Him.
We spend a lot of our lives getting to know our family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. Some of us even know a lot about people we will never meet like movie stars or famous authors. How about we make that same commitment to knowing God? We may think we know Him but I’d bet you’d be surprised by a thing or two by truly delving into His character.
I want to be a “God Expert.” I want to have His promises, His Word, His love for me imprinted on my heart and mind. I know that in knowing Him I will experience true joy and lasting peace.
If you want this too, add the prayer to your daily prayer list and watch and see how God works in your life!
My friend Andrea and I walk our dogs every week together. I typically have my dog on an “e-leash” so I’m very careful to make sure people around me know I have complete control over my dog when it appears he is off leash. We decided to take a new neighborhood route one day. As we passed one house my dog stopped to sniff a small sign at the edge of the grass. It said, “Keep Dogs Off Grass.” I gave my dog the command to heel and he quickly took up the short distance between us. The homeowner bolted from the far side of his car and commenced yelling at us. “Get your dog off my grass!” We were both taken aback at his aggressiveness. My first response was to get my hackles up and yell back, “He wasn’t on your grass.” Andrea, in a nicer tone, confirmed this to the owner. But he wouldn’t let up. He yelled at us as we walked by. And I yelled back. The war had commenced. Salvos were lobbed. In the midst, Andrea became the peacemaker. She had the peace of mind to realize this was not the hill to die on today. She started saying, “Ok sir, have a nice day.” He continued to yell at us while we were about 4 houses away. My anger was apparent. And I realized I had failed gloriously that morning’s first test.
James’ admonishment sounds so simple. And yet I would guess amongst millions of Christians our failure rate in accomplishing this is fairly high.
“Everybody should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
James 1:19-20.
Think of how much those millions of Christians could change the world if we accomplished just this one act. Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” Now, being of warrior spirit I struggle with this. But I realized the ingredient that makes a difference – anger. When God sent out Joshua to take cities he didn’t tell him to do so in anger. In fact, many of the actions he directed him to take were strangely non-warrior like such as marching around cities in circles and blowing horns.
Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” God knows we get mad. But he also tells us to be careful and not also take that anger and sin. When Jesus cleansed the synagogues of “thieves” he was more sad than angry. He wept to see what Israel had become. Think of the destruction and affliction Jesus could have wrought on everyone! But instead He cursed a tree. If Jesus – the most powerful being to grace the earth — could restrain himself can’t we tamp down our anger at the grocery store clerk for taking a bit too long? Or the person who doesn’t immediately bolt forward at the green light? All the while our cross necklace dangles around our neck.
But let’s back up a bit. James first tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Proverbs 18:13 says, “To answer before listening – that is folly and shame.” How many of us, while someone is talking to us, are working on our own story or rebuttal in our head as that person speaks? What we miss are opportunities.
#1 Opportunity to Show Empathy
We can tell when someone is really listening to us. It’s called active listening. According to Mat Apodaca in his article, “How to Practice Active Listening,” active listening involves using many of our senses. It means giving your full attention. You need to show the other person with your body language that you are truly listening. He says doing this builds mutual trust, it boosts self-confidence, we have less miscommunication, have fewer arguments, and are more productive. Here’s his steps to active listening:
Maintain eye contact
Don’t fidget
No interrupting
Watch for non-verbal clues
Restate and clarify
Use some encouraging words such as, “and then?”
Probe for more information
But keep your talking minimal
Validate
I had invited a friend out to lunch awhile back. I wanted to try and recover our relationship. We had grown apart in various ways and it had come to a head with some back and forth justifying of our hurts. As we sat across from each other I looked for ways to bridge our gaps. Topics we could both agree on. But the entire time she kept looking down at her phone that rested in her lap. She murmured responses. I finally asked her if something important was going on that she needed to keep reading her phone. Her two younger children, around ages 15 and 13 were at home. They were bickering and sending her text messages. No one was dying. No one was hurt. I realized she not only wasn’t interested in the conversation, she wasn’t interested in our relationship.
How many times have you done this to others?
#2 Opportunity to Hear from God
When we find ourselves listening to people who are angry, hurt, sad, or fearful we so often want to help. We might share our own past situations or try to convince that person to think or feel differently. But we always end up coming from our own view of the situation. Our wheels are whirling for solutions to their problems, or how to get them to stop being angry at us. With all that jumbled up thinking going on it’s awfully difficult for the one true voice to be heard. God can see all solutions. He knows exactly what to say, and more importantly what not to say. Charles Spurgeon says about praying continuously: “We need to have such confidence about our prayer life that prayer becomes like breathing, effortless, that we do it every moment we are alive.”
How many times have you left a conversation and later thought, “Oh, if only I had thought of that then!” When we are actively listening, we can be more like a super highway. Sending your friend’s, spouse’s, child’s, co-worker’s, stranger’s, words straight up to God. Acting as more of a conduit for God’s instruction, rather than the encyclopedia of all things of how to do (fill in the blank) right. You might just hear God remind us of Jesus’ words:
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”
Luke 6:27
Had I been listening to the angry neighbor I would have heard a few things: 1) He has had issues with dogs on his grass. 2) He really loves his grass, a lot. 3) Love him
Before we build fences let’s first listen to each other and God
#3 Opportunity to Find A New Solution
You really cannot have a relationship with someone you don’t listen to. That includes God. If we want to transform our relationships, we need to hear what people and God are saying. Ecclesiastes 5: 1-2 says:
“Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.”
When we offer up our own solutions, based on our own limited thoughts, they are made within a small framework. But God knows all and sees all solutions. We so frequently want to hear our own plans and arguments because we still want to control everything – even God.
In 2 Chronicles 20, the ruler Jehoshaphat was faced with destruction by the Moabites and Ammonites. He gathered up various advisors to discuss solutions. You can only imagine the various types around the tent. The warrior, demanding they strike first. The appeaser, begging for them to send out an ambassador to beg for mercy. The fearful, worried they were all going to die. But verse 3 says, “Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord.” He resolved. He made a conscious decision, after listening to everyone to then listen to God. And God came up with a solution that not one of those in attendance had even dreamed. To not fight, but instead to take up their battle positions, standing firm and have faith in God. The king then appointed men to sing. Yes, sing. And they watched God destroy the enemy.
It is our faith that God loves us — God wants the best for us that we must first rest upon. With that as our anchor we can know when we actively listen we show the same love and empathy we receive from God. When we are slow to speak it is because we are listening for God’s voice to channel through us. And when we keep our anger in check we honor the God that thankfully does not condemn us each time we fail.
When was there a time that you either realized you had failed gloriously at this lesson or when you were successful? How did you feel after?
They kept begging me to run for PTA president. Having served on a PTA nominating committee I know how difficult it can be to fill two key positions – president and treasurer. At least the treasurer can hide from people, but the president must stand in front of rooms filled with either at best bored or at worst annoyed parents. My children attended an elementary school with almost 1,300 students K-5. We put on large community events. And our parents and teachers were very demanding. On top of this, our school was about to go through a few major changes. I told them “no.” Actually, what I told them was: “You don’t want me to be your president. You won’t like how I will clean up the ‘old boys’ way of doing things.” But they kept asking.
Eventually I caved. I recall clearly after I said yes, I finally prayed for the first time. “Lord, help this not to have been a mistake.” I did that a lot many years ago. You know, make a decision and then beg God to make it turn out ok. I’m pretty sure King Solomon didn’t write a proverb saying, “Decide, then pray for your will be done.”
I should’ve watched Harper Valley PTA before I said, “Yes.
As I moved along on my Christian spiritual growth chart, I realized that order of things was a bit backward. With each switching up of the order of prayer vs. action, I was getting closer to the concept in Ephesians 5: 15-16, “Be careful then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity.
James 1: 5-8 challenges believers to wise decision making. He gives us the action we must take (asking God for wisdom) and the result of not accepting and acting on that wisdom (double mindedness).
‘’If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you; But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”
James 1: 5-8
You see, had I prayed to God in the midst of being asked to take on such a large role as PTA president I would’ve acted in God’s name, not mine. If he told me to do it, I would know I had His strength to aid me in difficult times because it was His will not mine. If I was told to not do it then I would’ve been able to clearly and confidently say, “no thank you.” And importantly – not feel guilty about it.
There are two ways to seek wisdom – spiritually and earthly. While we can take both paths together, if we only use earthly knowledge, we live without an anchor to truly define what is “right” and “good.” That is the Humanists’ approach. They make decisions more based on what feels right or good or what society deems worthy or correct. But God is immovable. His Word never changes. When we use that as a touchstone for our lives, we know we start our wisdom journey on solid ground. God has all the solutions — while we can usually only see them in a narrow, protective framework.
Charles Spurgeon once said, “How foolish would the believer be who would lay up his treasure anywhere except heaven?” In other words, you only have one life to live. It’s precious and what you create, such as children, are precious. Why would you ask the world how to live your life, raise your kids, invest your money, use your time, instead of God? He went on to say, “Change is written on the forehead of nature so don’t put your trust in earthly things.” This reminded me of a friend I had at an old job. She had her kids in the 1970s. With her first child she was told by the nurses to absolutely not breastfeed her child. It was imperative that women not be tied down to a child and instead be free to do whatever she pleased. When her second child came along the winds had shifted. She was encouraged to breastfeed. She cried as she told me what she realized she missed out on with her first child – the bonding and loving moments breastfeeding affords. She was angry she had let a nurse decide for her what was right and good.
Warren Wiersbe defines God-given wisdom this way, “Wisdom keeps us in harmony with the principals and purposes that the Lord has built into His world so that as we obey God, everything works for us and not against us.” I don’t know about you but I’d like to know more about how to get things to work for me and not against me!
Step 1 for gaining that sort of wisdom – praying.
But not just any praying. Praying for His will to be done, not ours. Praying for wisdom and good discernment means asking God to light the way for us. He alone knows ALL the possible solutions and outcomes. We can only know a limited number of solutions, based on our limited knowledge and emotions. We can’t possibly know the outcomes. When we pray to God for our will we need to be careful He might just give us what we keep asking for – and that can frequently be exactly what we don’t need. God tailors our teaching based on where we are in our spiritual growth. He might give us a little leeway or He might admonish us. But we will definitely learn a lesson if we listen and pay attention.
Step 2 in our wisdom growth is listening.
James 1: 19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this, we should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” After we’ve prayed, we need to shut up and listen. He will speak to you. But if we keep yammering on to him, our friends, people we don’t even know on social media, we will assuredly miss His voice. We need to be like Jesus – slow down and hear from God. Instead we frequently start worrying and researching and talking and fretting and more worrying. In my study group we asked the question: “What are some challenges that come with obeying the promptings of the Holy Spirit?” We all agreed that discerning whether it is God or our own voice (or worse, Satan) speaking is the greatest challenge. The solution is knowing the character of God. Thankfully, there’s a complete autobiography about God at our fingertips – the Bible.
Step 3 is reading His word.
I’ve heard people call Christians “sheep.” The assumption is that we don’t need to think for ourselves once we turn our lives over to Christ. But we don’t put our minds on a shelf and stop thinking. In fact, we must turn our lives to more active thinking and discernment when we become Christians. One of my BSGs (Bible Study Girls) and I were talking the other day and she told me she was glad the Bible can be read at different understanding levels. She says she has always had a more difficult time delving deeper and between the lines – not just when it comes to reading the Bible but any literature. She appreciates those of us that have that skill. That is the beauty of the Bible and God’s gifts. One friend of mine sent out a text that said, “The Bible is the only book that as you read it, it reads you.” Amen to that!
There are a few books in the Bible considered “wisdom books” but the most recognizable is Proverbs. The words “wise” or “wisdom” are used 125 in this book. Its wise words are made to be memorized since the people of that time didn’t have access to books. One liners can be easily remembered such as:
“Those who forsake instruction praise the wicked, but those who heed it, resist them.” 28:4
“Whoever remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed without remedy.” 29:1
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” 21:9
“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting and strife.” 17:1
Then there’s longer, deeper instruction such as Proverb 1: 32-33
“For the waywardness of the simple will kill them and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me (wisdom/God) will live in safety and be at ease without fear or harm.”
And Proverb 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways submit to Him and he will make your path straight.”
I wish I had read that one before deciding to be a PTA president. From day 1 the bickering and strife and lies and hurts I faced were almost unbearable. I cried to the Lord for help. His help came in the form of wisdom – how to pray first, listen second, and read His Word third and then act.
In my Bible study library I now have Bible commentaries, devotionals, books about prayer, apologetics books and more. When I read a passage in the Bible that either seems confusing or sounds like a message I really need to hear, I pull out various other tools to help guide me, in addition to praying over the verse. This has expanded my study time from about 15 minutes to about an hour. It centers me for the day ahead and places my feet on His path.
Praying, listening, reading. These steps help us to gain God’s wisdom. Without taking these steps it’s very difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish God’s plan for us. I love what Proverbs 8 says, speaking as God’s Wisdom:
“Listen, for I have trustworthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. To the discerning all of them are right; they are upright to those who have found knowledge. Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.”
I am issuing a challenge today. Take Proverbs and create a “Wise Words” list. Create categories that each 1 liner falls into and place it in its category. Some of the proverbs are repeated so you don’t need to write them again – but you might put a tick mark by the verse to show how many times it is mentioned.
For comments today, let us know a time that either 1) you didn’t pray and got yourself into a mess or 2) you heeded God’s word and realized what a blessing it was!
I don’t know if you’re like me but when I go into any situation, I’m always asking, “what’s the plan?” There’s that Martha popping up in me again! I’m an action-oriented, goal-centered, outcome-driven creature. That’s not bad. Through numerous human resources training sessions I’ve come to realize the different characters in a well-oiled team. And, as a person comfortable with leading, I’ve needed to see all the beautiful ways people contribute toward accomplishing a goal. You have the worker bees, idea creators, empathizers, suspicious minds, change resistors, change lovers, and number crunchers. But there always needs to be a “man with a plan.” Of course, not necessarily a man. But a person who has a vision – an overarching goal or purpose to why we all have gathered. Apple founder Steve Jobs was one such leader. On leadership he said,
“Technology is nothing. What’s important is that you have faith in people, that they’re basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them.”
Steve Jobs
At the end of Mr. Jobs’ life I don’t know how he felt about God but he was channeling God’s leadership ideas. God is the Man with the Ultimate Plan. Praise God that He is our fearless leader. In Romans 8:28, the disciple Paul writes: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Notice God calls meetings and has a purpose in mind? As believers we are working in concert with God’s purposes. He pulls together teams to accomplish His visions for His world. So, when we are called into the office, we bring our various talents and characteristics.
It’s a dangerous mistake for us to look at other Christians working for God’s purpose and compare ourselves to them. Yes, we can all learn from each other about how to better trust and obey God. But being a believer doesn’t erase our basic tendencies or talents or abilities. At my most recent church I volunteered for the Come Build Hope team. This program facilitated building an average of 10 houses in Mexico each year. In the bulletin was posted the need for a registrar. That was right up my alley. I’m very organized, computer savvy, and communicate well with volunteers. The other two key members of the team were grateful because those aren’t their talents. One was a building specialist. One was the vision and money person. We made a great team. Mostly because we were also God-centered. Our big and many small decisions were based on Jesus’ teachings. He was always on our minds and hearts. It’s not that everything went smoothly, it’s that we were able to work out all problems great and small as a team.
I’ve found when I place God as my team leader and look to Him for guidance, comfort, encouragement and peace my life seems to go in a much clearer direction. It’s when I try to wrestle back control that it jumps the tracks. I also know that when circumstances around me start to go awry I can look to Him to take me through the storm. There are many major companies that have failed to weather financial, political or other storms due to lack of good leadership. Trials and tests will come to everyone. When I put my faith firmly in the capable hands of God I know He will work all things for my good.
I love this new song by King & Country. I was fortunate to hear this song in concert before it was released. The idea of working together, for His purpose, is so important right now. As Christians we need to band together as God’s team to bring light and hope to our world. Click on the photo to watch the video of Together.
emboldened.net 