grandmother

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A Time for Everything

May 30, 2022May 31, 2022 krisshetter

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.  A time to be born and a time to die.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

As a kid living in southern California, I had the opportunity to go to Disneyland a number of times. Before each visit my brother and I would plan out how to strategically use our tickets – yes, back then we had ticket books for rides. That’s where the saying, “It’s an E ticket ride” comes from, meaning the best ones. In the ticket book there’d be loads of A tickets for the kiddie rides and shows. But only a few, valuable E tickets. I imagined how much fun I was going to have spinning around the tea cups and travelling through the Haunted Mansion. But when I got to Disneyland all I could think of was the next ride. And the next. When we would leave, I felt a sense of disappointment. Like I hadn’t really been there at all. So, I looked forward to the day we could go back and begin the process of yearning for something better around the next bend all over again.

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Proverb 27:1

That has been a lifelong problem for me – always looking for tomorrow to bring me joy and peace. It’s also brought me a lot of worry. And although God wants us to be good stewards of our life, planning and preparing, He doesn’t want our hearts and minds to be absent from today. Or worse, trapped in the past. During difficult seasons we can so easily project our life to what we hope it to be or catastrophize our life to what we are worried it will be. We often also wish we could just go back to the way things were. Back home, back to a perceived better or safer time.

On my rides home from the Magic Kingdom, I would wish I could go back. Go back and relish each ride, each experience to its fullest. And while I was doing that, I was probably missing out again on what was happening right then and there. I can only imagine Elijah, a quiet, rugged mountain shepherd on day 50 or 100 or even 200 in Cherith Ravine letting his mind wander back home to Gilead. Being just a man, he probably once or twice longed for his old way of life where kings and queens weren’t threatening his life. Where he could pick berries and drink fresh goat milk each day instead of relying on ravens for food. But God needed him right there, right at that time paying attention.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”¹⁴Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.¹⁵Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

It’s a hard lesson when we are in pain, suffering through bad news, or being persecuted. We are admonished to trust in God for tomorrow and not yearn to go backwards to home. And yet, in the midst of my Cherith I found myself doing just that.

Both my children had returned to their own homes after saying their final goodbyes to their beloved grandmother. My husband too had returned back to a job that needed his presence. That next day, after a particularly hard few moments and, to be honest, watching my brother-in-law’s little family gather closely together, I needed to escape. I felt so alone and incapable of the task of helping shepherd my mother-in-law through her final days. I took my eyes off the Lord and placed them back on myself. A phone call home had me crying out to my husband, “I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I want to come home right now.”

I wanted to go back to before the cancer. I wanted to envelope myself in my comfortable routine back home. Fear and loneliness wrapped around me like a heavy blanket. And then I remembered Elijah. I looked toward the majesty of the Colorado Rockies and remembered God can do all things. And He needed me right there, right now. Not longing for home or better times. Not worrying about the future. Instead, paying attention to the beautiful moments and lessons He had placed before me for today.

²²So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. John 16:22

I still will battle looking for the next “better thing” around the corner. But the time between that search and remembering to enjoy this day has reduced to mere moments as I pull my thoughts back to looking for Jesus right now. There is a time for everything. To prepare and to sow, to cry and to laugh. To keep and throw away. To mourn and to dance. When we step outside God’s timing we find ourselves at odds with His plan. But when we live in His moments, His seasons, we find ourselves in harmony. That is God’s promised peace. And that my friends, is exactly where the joy is.

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The Purposeful Path

September 30, 2021October 11, 2021 krisshetter

Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good.  Anyone who does what is good is from God.  3 John 11

When I was first researching the word “resolute” I came across the tiny village of Resolute in the province of Nunavut, Canada. Back in 1999, Canada created a new province from the original Northern Territories specifically for its native citizens. And Resolute was one of the northernmost inhabited spots in that province. Its most famous resident, who put Resolute firmly on the map, was Joseph Idlout, the subject of two documentaries, Land of the Long Day in 1952 and Between Two Worlds in 1990. He was for a time one of the most well-known Inuit and was shown on the back of the Canadian two-dollar bill.

I decided to watch the Land of the Long Day and was treated to some childhood memories of old fashioned documentary film styles. This little film about a tiny family eking out an existence in the Arctic held my fascination for over an hour. You see, Mr. Idlout purposefully chose to keep his family close to the old ways of living. They hunted and gathered what was available each season, storing up for long, dark winters. They used every available resource to keep their family alive and thriving. Everyone in the family had a job to do for their survival. And to maintain this way of life he petitioned the Canadian government to move to a tiny weather station called Resolute and create a home for themselves. Rather than uprooting their lives and becoming more “modern” they chose to remain true to their culture. And they flourished.

It’s perfect that this “most famous Inuit” moved to a tiny town called Resolute because that’s what it took to make his decision for his family. And I wonder, how many decisions us modern parents make are based on what God really wants for our children?

As a grandma and parent of two, now grown women, I can easily recall times when I had to make decisions that would set my children and family apart from others. So many times, when I would go against the norm, others would say to me, “I hadn’t even thought about that.” In other words, they were just going along to get along without consulting any moral code whatsoever.

“When you are being taught how to use any machine, the instructor keeps on saying, “No, don’t do it like that,’ because, of course, there are all sorts of things that look all right and seem to you the natural way of treating the machine, but do not really work.”
CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

It seems so natural to automatically sign a permission slip for your child to go on the 4^th grade overnight trip that every single 4^th grader in your school has gone on for the last 10 years. There’ll be chaperones and it’s just down the street. Everyone is going. And then you find out boys and girls will be sleeping together in small rooms. Chaperones include moms and dads – many whom you don’t know. So your daughter will be spending the night with boys and a dad. No problem, everyone is going. Everyone has gone. No one has ever brought up any issue. So what’s your problem? Are you going to set your child apart? Will you be resolute in what you know is the God-directed answer?

In the verse today it says “imitate evil.” And I think so often when we read things like that in the Bible we give ourselves little passes to make immoral decisions, especially when we feel it might harm our kids’ social lives. I mean, it’s not “evil” to let our kids go on a boy/girl sleepover. It’s not “evil” to allow our daughters to wear the latest fashions that might be a bit revealing. It’s not “evil” to let our sons play violent video games. It’s also not “evil” for all the parents at the birthday party to get drunk. Right?

In a world where parents are pressured into allowing their elementary and middle school children to start dangerous hormones and go under the knife in order to try and change their gender, letting your kids watch R rated movies and TV shows seems tame in comparison. And we let it slide.

“Perfect behavior may be as unattainable as perfect gear changing when we drive; but it is a necessary ideal. Prescribed for all men by the very nature of the human machine just as perfect gear changing is an ideal prescribed for all drivers by the very nature of cars…it would be idiotic not to try; for every mistake is going to cause you trouble later on.”
CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

It’s interesting that this quote from Mere Christianity involves using a stick shift in a car. For just about every one of us that process has changed to be an automatic. But the question I ask is your automatic response to making decisions for yourself and your family set to the world of the flesh or the Word of God?

For Joseph Idlout, he drew on his people’s hundreds if not thousands of years of history and made the conscious decision to not go the modern route of the world. And I have to say they seemed to live a pretty content and peaceful life. Not an easy one by any means. The harsh Arctic conditions probably led many to scoff at their decision. They might even have been called any manner of names from savages to crazy to ignorant. But his children didn’t grow up with drug addictions, suicidal tendencies, endless debt, and more that our world offers.

We can’t all put our families on an island away from the world’s influences. But we can stop pretending things aren’t “evil” when they go against what God wants of us. We must be resolute and purposeful in following God’s will for our families. To be His humble servants, to know His Word inside and out so that it becomes automatic, and to live like the chosen people we are. Our children’s lives depend on it.

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She Loves Like Jesus

June 4, 2021July 15, 2021 krisshetter

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Jesus sees you. The first lesson of this miracle is a welcome one. You and I aren’t invisible. We aren’t overlooked. Jesus spots us on the side of the road, and he makes the first move.
Max Lucado

There are three women in my life that I count has having a significant influence on me. Two of the three will probably never know me. That’s the power of having an outlet to reach millions of people either through the radio, books, television, etc. My long commutes as a young working woman were filled with life wisdom dished out with a borderline harshness by Dr. Laura. She made sense to me and helped me to see different perspectives in relationships both personally and professionally. Later, my faith life received a much needed injection of God’s truth from the formidable Joyce Meyer. Her devotional, “Power Thoughts,” was Dr. Laura on faith steroids. But again, these two women and I will probably never cross paths.

The third woman God placed in my path couldn’t be more opposite in personality than the other two. She and Jesus share a beautiful character trait. They love all. They have compassion for all. They know just what someone needs at their darkest hour. When Jesus was asked how the masses would be fed, He stepped up to the plate. And so does my mother-in-law, Bev Shetter.

When I first would visit Bev in her hometown of Longmont, Colorado about 30 years ago, I would find myself frequently annoyed. You see, like people surrounding Jesus on His way to an official’s home, Bev couldn’t get through one aisle at the local grocer without multiple people approaching her. A quick trip for a loaf of bread turned into an hour.

This was so foreign to me. How could one person, not only know so many people, but know so many people so well? She wasn’t some famous tv personality. She didn’t write a book. She didn’t operate the local bakery, or any business for that manner. She wasn’t even head of any organization. She was a housewife who occasionally worked part time at a flower shop here or a dress shop there. And, a faithful member of her church.

She knows everyone’s name, their children’s names, their parent’s names. She knows who is sick and injured. She can share a joke with old and young. She lets people know she’s praying for them regularly. And at the end of a “short” trip for a few groceries I felt a bit like Peter, annoyed that we might be late for our next engagement because Bev needed to say yet another kind “hello” to an elderly woman.

She makes you feel loved, special, remembered.

“It’s funny how God leads us to just the right person to guide us through life. Bev has been that trusted loving spiritual friend to me for some 40 years. She has modeled the commandment of Jesus to love one another putting into action all the teachings of Jesus. We have shared laughter, faith, tears, fears, and all that life gives us and I am so grateful to her for walking beside me and revealing Jesus to me.”
Longtime friend, Jane Nelson

Jesus did that. You knew you were in the presence of someone special because He made you feel special. The disciples knew that when Jesus said, “Follow me” they would be well-loved. They would be remembered. He wasn’t famous when He first called His disciples. He was an unknown. Not a rich businessman or even mildly successful tradesman. Yet He made sure to make people feel known and loved.

 “I pray for them.  I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours.” John 17:9

Even in His last physical days on Earth He remembered His friends. Not just the disciples. You’ll notice in the verse above He is praying for everyone that the Father sent to Him – that’s you, me, Peter, John, the tax collectors, the adulterers, the gentile and the Jew. Everyone who has turned their lives over to Him.

When I committed myself to my husband, I was given the gift of moving into Bev’s large friendship circle. It wasn’t easy at first. We are also opposite in personality. I was angry, unsettled, untethered to God. I welcomed outrage in my life, judged harshly and forgave reluctantly. But the thing about Jesus is when He steps into a relationship with a Saul He transforms the Saul into a Paul. And when someone like a Bev enters your life, you can’t help but come out changed.

And so I watched and listened. I saw the peace she had in her life that I did not. I watched her minister to the homeless, the shut in, the sick, the needy, the hurt, the lonely. I listened to her words of compassion and quiet, unassuming advice to her friends. She opens her home to visiting missionaries, childhood friends, family and anyone else that needs a pillow to rest their head. And I said, “I want some of that.”

Isn’t that what we do when listen to Jesus talk to a hurting person? “I want to be able to love like that.” Isn’t that what we pray for when we watch Jesus stop and pay attention to one person on the street whom nobody sees? “I should stop and help them.” Isn’t that what we long for when Jesus tells us He will never leave us? “I want to be loved and be remembered.”

“My grandma doesn’t wait around for approval, compliments or appreciation. She has a keen eye for what people need before they may even know it themselves. She is one to show up with a warm meal before your stomach starts to growl or a blanket before you start to shiver.
Granddaughter, Haley Shetter

Jesus and people like Bev show us how to love and be loved. They show us how to be the faithful and loving friend. They aren’t looking for 10,000 “likes” on Facebook. They stop in the grocery aisle and say, “Hello, friend, how is your mom feeling today?” They give their time and prayers one person at a time. And from that, Jesus and Bev have gained a multitude of loving and faithful friends.

“My sister Bev cared for my blessed mother for many years. Her dedication in honoring God through love and service is selfless and enduring. Many times her faith has been tested but never paled.”
Sister, Kathy Pisano

The people like Bev, who live out this Jesus character trait so well, don’t work hard to make friends. They don’t work hard at keeping friends. They work hard at loving people. They look for ways to show compassion. They know that even doing their little part will mean something for somebody. People like Bev are remembered wherever they go, because the people they touch feel something special.

“From her I have learned to watch and listen to her ways. This is not something you develop overnight but attributes you gain over time. She surrounds herself with people who also have these qualities so they can act as a tribe, a community, to build and share their love.”
Granddaughter, Haley Shetter

Bev and her “tribe” are truly special followers of Jesus’ command to love one another and be faithful to others. I’m a living example of someone who can learn to imitate Bev and Jesus. I may never achieve the level of her success but God knows my efforts.

It’s important for us that aren’t more naturally inclined to be like her to know that Jesus still expects us to work at it. I won’t be Bev2.0 but with her example and the guidance of Jesus I can be transformed into someone new.