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Retire From Self Care

June 30, 2021September 24, 2021 krisshetter

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

“I believe Jesus died to deliver ourselves from ourselves. How many of us are just fed up being ourselves all the time?”
Joyce Meyer

The darkness, fury and despair of the young woman sitting next to me grew with each passing minute. We were so close I could feel her shoulder touching mine. Sitting on the airplane we found ourselves in that strange world of invading each other’s personal space while pretending neither existed. Her billowing cloud seem to want to seep over the dividing line of the armrest to pull me in.

This seemingly quiet, unassuming young woman opened her computer and began pounding on her keyboard like the devil itself was trying to escape her fingertips. My eyes drifted to her brightly lit screen. I couldn’t help but notice the many words in all caps. And I was drawn to know what was causing her so much angst. It appeared she was writing a complaint letter about a work environment. As her fingers marched like Roman soldiers across the keyboard, pounding and erasing and pounding some more I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away from the battle. She was hurt and outraged. She felt betrayed and abused. Her past hurts served as the basis of why her employer should’ve known better. And then those pounding fingers suddenly slammed the lid of the smoking computer closed. Her fury still burned. You could almost see the sparks coming from her.

Over the course of three and half hours I watched this woman join the battle numerous times, editing, adding and pounding. And then she started in on an email to her family. I kept praying that she, once there was internet service, would have a change of heart and not send off the bombs she composed. But alas, before deplaning, she picked up her phone and started, with the same fervor, sending off salvos via text messages. I have never seen a person’s finger move with such speed and aggressiveness. Like driving pass a car accident I couldn’t seem to look away.

I’ve come to realize that God puts me in all types of situations to test and teach me. I was learning a valuable lesson. You see, my tendency to get outrage over “unfair” situations is something I’ve battled with forever. As I watched this young woman blow up at probably everyone in her life, I realized how much I need God to lead me out of my sin. How much I need God to provide me with a different perspective. How much I need to rely on God for peace. What I wanted to do was turn to her and ask if she knew about Jesus. I wanted to wrap Jesus’ love around her. To somehow snap her mind off her problems and look up to God. I could turn and look at this woman and see my own face looking back at me. And I didn’t want to be “that girl.”

In 2019 there were more than 18 million self-help type books sold in the United States. The number of unique titles rose nearly three-fold from 30,897 in 2013 to 85,253 in 2019. That’s a lot of people trying to fix themselves! Isn’t that, so often, what we turn to our friends, co-workers and professionals for – advice on fixing our problems?

Aren’t we exhausted yet trying to fix ourselves? As the world drifts farther from God it shouldn’t be surprising that so many people are working so hard to fix their own problems. Jesus came to save our souls but I believe He also came to save us from ourselves.

“The only way we are ever ready for a change in our life is when we are tired of “me.” When we say we cannot continue to do the work of trying to make ourself happy. We are fed up.”
Joyce Meyer

When we stop striving, stop trying to control what other people think of us, stop trying to please everyone, stop shaming ourselves for our past, stop playing victim, and start putting God as our King, our Creator, our Lord we can release the yoke of our fleshly life.

"Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6:35

And follow Him. Retire from our self-care routines. Self-care as in trying to fix ourselves. Certainly we take care of ourselves, our minds and bodies. But God always calls us to take a new perspective in every aspect of our lives. When we take time to mediate, what do we mediate on? When we decide what best to eat or how to stay in shape, who do we do it for? Why do we word vomit all over our family or friends trying to get them to see “our side?” For ourselves? Or for our Heavenly Father?

I’ve heard the evangelist teacher Joyce Meyer make this statement many times: “I was always on my mind. I was so selfish.” To change that she created these three steps:

Live to please God, not yourself. You are making a Kingdom investment. And you will always get a great return on your investment.
Refuse to have “me” on my mind all the time. I’m not thinking about what’s wrong with me all the time or how I can get people to do things for me.
Always use money and things to bless people. Don’t use people to get money and things.

Jesus frequently took the focus off Himself and placed it on God. He prayed for help in times of pain and trouble. He told the disciples to look to the Father. He guided new believers to putting away their shame and accepting forgiveness from God. The times He had to solidify His place as the Savior He seemed almost reluctant. The focus for Jesus the man was always God and how to best please Him.

In my study on Revelation, I was asked the question, “How does the fact that Jesus is King of Kings and Lord of Lords affect our everyday choices and decisions?” In other words, getting ourselves, off our own minds and onto the Creator. I’m finally leaning more on Him as my wise counselor. He is my exercise coach, my nutritional advisor, my mental wellness guru. When I see my mind and body as belonging to Him, I realize the responsibility I have to keeping myself focused on what He wants for me. I fail frequently. And when I do I come to Him seeking and receiving forgiveness.

I encountered the young, angry, hurt woman at the end of my trip. Before it had even started however, I failed to grab on to God’s promised peace by my favorite method of failure –outrage. The TSA officer and I had a bit of a confrontation. I blustered and was rude. As I walked away, I realized I was wearing my silver cross around my neck. I may have flushed in embarrassment. I failed to show grace and patience and forgiveness. I took the situation personally. It was all about “me.”

The difference for me at that moment was instead of adding it to my Vault of Shame I lifted it up to God. I had a counseling moment with Him. I felt His disappointment and His love. It set me on course to be more aware of my behavior choices while in the crowded airport.

“We are in the middle between hating sin and sinning. When we aren’t accustomed to making good choices it’s hard. The devil is working against us. The more often we make those good choices it becomes easier.”
Joyce Meyer

And so, on my return flight, as I sat next to the woman with fire bursting from her fingertips, and like lava flowing out on her family, friends, co-workers burning bridges left and right I wanted to be like Jesus. To be able to look her in the eye and know her hurts, her overwhelming pain and say, “follow me.”

And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Cor 5:15

It wasn’t a counseling moment for her. Although I prayed for her. It was a reminder message to me. To live for Jesus. To place my thoughts on Jesus. To release my pain and hurts to Him. To stop trying to defend and take care of myself. To trust that He wants the best for me and will guide me to whatever that looks like. To take my mind off me and have the mind of Christ.

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Christian women, Faith, Jesus Follower, Transformation Prayer, Uncategorized

15 Transforming Prayers

February 1, 2021January 31, 2021 krisshetter

I confess that I am free because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The shedding of His blood paid the ransom for me. The hold Satan used to have on me is broken, and I am liberated and set free! Now God’s divine power operates mightily in me, and I have authority over the enemy who used to control me!
I declare this by faith in Jesus’ name!
Sparkling Gems from the Greek

Prayer excerpts from Pray It Till You Make It series

A prayer to be deeply knowledgeable about God’s Word

Holy God, I confess that I have spent much of my Christian life hearing your Word and yet not absorbing and living out our Word. I’ve sat in your Holy presence at church and listened, then walked out of the doors and turned my thoughts solely on selfish and worldly pursuits. So I often, when I hear a conviction through your Word, I think of someone else who needs to hear the message – all the while it is me that needs to accept the correction. I allow my endless “to do lists” to take time away from learning more about you, from soaking my soul with your loving spirit. I allow my “study” of your Word to just be catchy verses that scroll by on social media. LORD, with your teaching and guidance I will proclaim that I am deeply knowledgeable about your character through your Word. I will be your faithful student. I lift this up in Jesus’ name, Amen.

A prayer to live a joy-filled life.

Gracious God your gifts and blessing to me cannot be counted. And yet so often I turn to the negative parts in my life and place my constant thoughts in them. When I rise I forget to be thankful that I have yet another day in which to serve you and be blessed by you. And as I go about my day when you place joyful moments at my fingertips I take them for granted. When I lay my head down to sleep I can easily recall all that went wrong in the day rather than what went right. But your joy is there for the taking. I want to live basked in your greatness, your beauty and your joy. I can and will, with your help, find joy in every circumstance. You are working for my good at all times and I just need to remember that promise. Thank you for giving us your Son who implanted the Holy Spirit in us – a spirit of joy and of goodness. I pray this in your Son’s Holy name, Jesus. Amen

A prayer to be a patient person

Faithful Father, I get so caught up in the busyness of life that I forget that my needs and desires are not the same as everyone else’s. When I’m running late, I want to yell at the drivers in front of me for not moving quickly enough. The slow grocery store bagger receives my glare when she doesn’t work at the same speed which I expect. Or when a friend doesn’t respond to my text as prompt as I need, I get frustrated. I’ve come to realize, LORD, through your holy Word that my impatience is an outgrowth of my lack of humility. Your admonishment to love one another needs to be on my lips when I feel that frustration and anger well up inside me. LORD, I know there is nothing more important to you than having your children express compassion and love for each other. Rest your loving hand on my shoulder as a reminder for when I forget this. Quell my impatient heart and mind and replace it with grace. In your Son’s name I pray, Amen.

A prayer that I would share the Gospel with others

Merciful God, your Word has healing power for the sick and your Word gives hope to the downtrodden. Your promise of eternity is a promise for all who believe. But I allow my worries and my fears about worldly judgement guide my discipleship. I keep your holy and powerful gifts to myself, not sharing them with those who need them. LORD, our one true purpose here on earth is to serve you and by doing so we are asked, even required, to speak of you to all who will hear. Help me to succumb to your strength and guidance rather than that of the world. I know you will put the right words in my mouth at the right time. I just need to be willing to speak them. Each day place someone who needs to hear from you in front of me. With the strength of the Holy Spirit urging me on I will be faithful in spreading your gospel of Good News. In Jesus name, Amen

I rest my worries in constant prayer

LORD, I confess that I can cite Philippians 4:6 quite easily but it is the actual doing that I struggle with. In fact, when I get very distressed, I forget about you and turn inward to try and solve my problems. Or I call friends and family to lay all my worries upon. Too often it seems you are my last gasp when all else fails. Thank you for giving us your Son to remind us that you are the only source we need to turn to in times of trouble. With His guiding words I will place you front and center of my difficult situations. Through constant prayer and communion with You I will find everlasting peace. I lift this up in Jesus’ name. Amen

A prayer to speak only when needed

LORD, I would like to make this brief but I seem to have an issue with words. They flow freely from my mouth without filters. At times I gasp at myself for the words that exit me. James is so right when he shows me that my mouth is like the rudder for my ship. And I want to be on the right course with you, God. Sometimes I need the entire trinity to help me grab hold of my rudder. But I know with practice, your grace and the urging of the Holy Spirit I can and will be the quiet captain of my ship. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

A prayer to keep my body strong and dedicate it to serve God

Heavenly Father, I regularly make the commitment to keep my spiritual life active and strong. However, when I make choices about exercise or my diet, I rarely see that as part of my devotional life. My spirit, my soul and my body all belong to you. You ask us to be your warriors in the name of Christ. And warriors are strong spiritually, mentally and physically. Starting today, LORD, I recommit my entire body to you. When I am weak and want to forgo exercise or eat food I know just isn’t good for me I ask that your Holy Spirit remind me that I need to be strong to accomplish all that you have planned for me. I lift this up in your Son’s Holy Name, Amen.

A prayer to live without regret

Holy God, it’s been many years since I accepted your gift of salvation, which along with that gift came forgiveness. And yet, so often I am unable to forgive myself. My heart still twinges when I think of the times I lived in sin. And once saved, I look back at the years I realize I wasn’t fully committed to obeying your Word. I’ve wasted enough time, however, not accepting your grace. I am learning how much you love me, LORD. And with that, I’m working to accept that I am a new person because of your son Jesus. The old me can’t take up any more precious time when you are filling up my heart with overwhelming love. I admit I sometimes need stern admonishment from you to keep me on track. But at other times please send me a gentle kiss or unexpected hug to remind to live in today, not the regrets of the past. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

A prayer to act when directed by God

Dear God, I used to think that my faith was solely a personal, spiritual pursuit. But I keep hearing the word “obey.” I admit that obeying isn’t a comfortable word for me. It implies me giving up something for someone else. In your covenant world however, “obey” just means holding up my end of the bargain. You are always faithful, LORD, and I need to be faithful as well. James said it best when he admonished us to be “doers of the Word, not just hearers.” Sometimes I allow the world to drown out your Holy Spirit who speaks your will to me. Or I worry that I’m not worthy or ready to do your work. But I’m tuning in to you and listening, watching, and anticipating for your direction. Give me opportunities to be your hands, your feet and your heart. I will obey. In your Son’s name I pray this. Amen

A prayer to always speak kindly of others

Merciful God, so often when I think of sinful behavior, I rarely attribute my own tendency to gossip and tear down others. And yet throughout Jesus’ time here on earth he reminds us to love one another. Help me to remember to love not just with deeds but with my words. You speak so kindly of me, LORD, and I have many, many flaws. Not only do I need your help in not speaking unkindly, but also in being your servant to exalt your people. I know that a kind word is all that is needed to cure so many of our world’s ills. Guide me in controlling my lips so that they drip with kindness rather than bitterness. In Jesus’ name I lift this up to you. Amen

A prayer to be a blessing to those around me and my community

Holy Spirit I get so wrapped up in my everyday problems and to-do lists I forget to pause and look at the world around me. I rush out in my car and don’t stop to say “hi” to my elderly neighbor. I see the trash someone has left behind at the nearby lunch table and I assume someone else will pick it up. I watch the mother with two kids struggling to get her groceries in the car and I think, “thank goodness that isn’t me.” Oh, how I know you keep whispering to me to stop and do your work. But I prioritize my list and sometimes you aren’t on it. LORD, I say I want to be a blessing to others and yet I let so many opportunities pass me by. Today, I will be that blessing. Today I will recognize the need to slow down, reach out, and do your work. I will be your mustard seed and help build your Kingdom into all it’s glory. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

A prayer to not be judgmental of others

Holy God, we live in a world that judges us on a photo that gets scrolled by in an instant, our decision at the ballot box, the type of car we drive, or even the color of our skin. I am guilty of making snap judgements about the people I encounter throughout my day. But in your world, LORD, we are all equally loved. I have discovered the uniqueness of your message through Jesus – that you are the father, king, counselor, protector of ALL people. You are at work in all of our lives, believer and non-believer. Through the life lessons of Jesus and the prompting of the Holy Spirit I will be the type of person who loves first, rather than judges first. I want to be loved and accepted for who I am uniquely made to be and I will see others in that same light. I pray this in your Son’s name, Amen

A prayer to avoid using coarse language

Holy Father, it has become so easy for me to use your name in un-holy ways. There was once a time that when angered or frustrated I would just say some silly old saying. But as I drew closer to the ways of the world my language followed. I want to be closer to you instead, LORD. I want to speak like your son, Jesus. I know that anger, impatience, laziness, and bitterness are all roots of my use of foul language. Help me, Holy Spirit, to cut out those roots so that out of my mouth comes praise, prayer, forgiveness and grace. I will use my mouth, with your guidance, for these rather than obscenity and coarseness. Amen

A prayer to constantly praise and thank God

Mighty God, I admit that when things go wrong in my life I am quick to ask for help. But when my life is running along smoothly or even when a prayer is answered I’m equally quick to forget to thank you. Each and every morning when I rise, I commit to thanking you for what you will send my way that day – even the “not-so-good.” Because even in those times I know I have the opportunity to grow in my faith. And throughout my day I will remember to thank you even for the little gifts you send my way. LORD, at the end of my day I’m frequently so tired. But you are never tired of hearing my praise for you. I will, before my eyes close, remember the ways you revealed yourself to me that day. Whether you acted as my counselor, comforter, King, creator, or protector, I will praise you. In your son’s name I pray, Amen.

A prayer to love myself

Heavenly Father, so many of my perceived short falls come from my poor sense of self-worth. I look in the mirror sometimes and to be honest I don’t always see what you see – a beautifully, wonderfully made daughter of God. And I confess that my lack of love for your creation can spill over to my inability to openly love others without judgment. But I don’t want to grieve the Holy Spirit any longer. My heart, body, mind and soul were created by and belong to you, LORD. With the reminders found in your Holy Word to love my neighbor as myself I will look into that mirror with newfound love and admiration for your creation. Thank you for my life, thank you for making me uniquely me. I lift this up in Jesus’ name, Amen

bible study, Christian, Christian Church, christian encouragement, Faith, Jesus Follower, Transformation Prayer, Uncategorized

Work It for God

January 19, 2021January 12, 2021 krisshetter

Therefore, I urge you, brothers 
and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, 
to offer your bodies as a living 
sacrifice, holy and pleasing to 
God—this is your true and 
proper worship.
Romans 12:1

A prayer to keep my body strong and dedicate it to serve God

I heard a pastor speaking the other day about our bodies being a “living sacrifice” and how so many of us Christians focus solely on the spirit part of our being. But there are three key parts that make us, well us. Our spirit, our soul (emotions and mind), and our physical body. And when one is out of balance then we haven’t fully committed ourselves as a living sacrifice. We may be saved but some of us are downright miserable either because of what goes on in our heart and head or because we just don’t feel good about our bodies.

We make that New Year’s resolution to lose that famous 10 pounds. Which in reality is probably more like 15 or 20. But resolutions are only so good as our own personal commitment to ourselves. Recognizing that our bodies belong to God and He has a divine purpose for them is key to taking control over our physical health.

There’s a funny movie featuring Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep called, “Death Becomes Her.” In it the two women take an immortality potion. The two women have despised each other their entire lives and spend much of the movie trying to outdo each other. But prior to taking the potion they are warned to take care of their bodies. Once broken, their body remains damaged – but they continue to live forever. The famous scene in the movie is called the “shovel scene.” The two women get into a fight and begin bashing each other with all manner of devices including shovels. The destruction they cause to their bodies is hilarious. And they will be stuck that way for all eternity.

Oops, you gotta little hole right there…

When we look into our mirrors, we should heed the same warning. This is the only body we have and we should take good care of it, not just for ourselves, but in God’s name and purpose. If we are not in our best fighting shape (no matter our God-given physical situation) then how can we expect God to give us every opportunity possible to serve Him?

My current Bible study group (My BSGs – Bible Study Girls) is made up of two women I met at the gym and another with whom I walk regularly. Now, lest you think the two from the gym were longtime friends I want to clarify. I started working out at this particular gym because my daughter was a physical therapist there. It was a different type of workout than I’d ever done. Their small classes are crossfit style, in addition to weight training. There’s not a lot of time to sit around and chit chat.

She sets about her work vigorously; 
her arms are strong for her tasks.
Proverbs 31:17

I found that some people have the unique ability to actually talk to others while dying, I mean working out, on the rowing machine. It was during these times I discovered some of the Christians in the group. They were open with their faith journeys. So, when my walking buddy urged me to start a new Bible study, I prayed about who to invite. God urged me to ask some of the ladies I sort of knew from the gym. Two of them immediately said, “yes.”

Had I not stepped out of my comfort zone and joined the crossfit craze, had I not made a commitment to working out every weekday at 6:30a.m., I wouldn’t have met these amazing women. God used me and my body to serve His kingdom.

I’m currently working on losing a few pounds I gained during the lockdowns. But I have a renewed commitment, not to me, but to God. I want to be in the best physical shape I can be so that He opens more doors and places me where I can do His work. I know with this new understanding of my body being a living sacrifice and the help of His Holy Spirit I will be in fighting shape soon.

If you want this too, add the prayer to your daily prayer list and watch and see how God works in your life!