Not Yet Home

“And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” John 14:13-14

I had just found out that my boyfriend of three years was seeing another young woman behind my back. I didn’t know her but she, apparently knew all about me. I discovered this betrayal on a surprise visit to my (soon-to-be ex) boyfriend’s house –finding the two of them together. Now, looking back, it seems almost funny that he ran away and she stayed to tell me about the affair. I drove off with emotions swirling — anger, sadness, betrayal and confusion.

As I made my way home those emotions turned to despair. At 18 my world evolved around him. I was crushed and felt broken. Just a few miles before my house while driving on the freeway I did the unthinkable. I looked up and said, “I’d rather die right now.” And let go of the wheel.

Thankfully, the usually busy freeway was almost devoid of traffic as my car veered out of its lane crossing into two others. And thankfully a whisper told me he wasn’t worth this pain. As I grabbed back hold of the wheel I realized it wasn’t time for me to go to my eternal home.

I’ll admit that a couple other times in my life I’ve wished it was my time. The last time I felt that way I finally sought help and realized my menopausal body was in complete disarray. With a caring, thoughtful doctor I went on a small dose of antidepressants to get me through this life transition. At the same time I turned and grabbed hold of the Lord. And I asked Him to heal me.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

This week my church has taken a deep dive into the above scripture. This idea of “going home.” The promise Jesus makes to His disciples, and all other believers, is that He has made a beautiful, comforting place for us. We only need to seek Him and believe. But at rare times we yearn so much for that place we go ahead of God and try to take a shortcut. We want to be in control of that timeline because of pain and sadness.

Friend, I want to remind you, however, of two things. First, when Jesus took the glorious and awe inspiring step to leave His earthly home and join us in the flesh He declared the Kingdom has come. We look to the heavens and dream of that place. But Jesus brought the Kingdom to us. John the Baptist was the first to herald this truth.

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."  Matthew 3:2

He came so we would experience great joy, love and peace through Him in this earthly kingdom. He came to give us the great command to love one another as He loves us. We can, right now experience His peace and love. We just need to ask Him to show us the path. He reminds us over and over throughout scripture of His great love for not just a people but for us as individuals. He loves every single hair on our heads. He can wipe away our tears with a gentle reminder that He loves us so much He took on our pain and suffering.

Secondly, He came to prepare us for an eternal kingdom. He wants each of us to complete our god-given role while we are here for a relatively short time. We have a purpose and He has a plan. That purpose? To glorify Him each and every day through our works.

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."  John 14:12

Jesus never promises us a physically easy life. A life full of rainbows and unicorns. In fact, He makes it clear to the disciples that we may even be despised by following Him. But He does promise that we won’t be alone, that we can ask for help and He will provide. That we will experience the fruits of the spirit when we love others. And when the time comes we will be welcomed home to join in His glory.

He asks us to live an outward life. Serving others, washing feet, loving others, making peace with others. Not worrying about today or tomorrow but trusting in Him. Keeping a watchful eye for the smallest of blessings and sharing them with others. He asks us to live our best and brightest life in service to Him. When we obey and trust in the Lord we find our despair, our anger, our hurt shrinks as our hearts grows bigger. Sounds a bit like the Grinch story doesn’t it?

While we aren’t promised to never experience loss or pain we are promised our great Comforter. When He left the heavenly kingdom He opened Himself up to tears, physical pain, and even death. He knows how you feel.

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. ... I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.  Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live." John 14:15-19

Jesus in the most glorious of ways lives in us so that we may live to glorify the Father. To look outward so that He may heal us inwardly. And when we have run our race, touched as many lives as He has planned for us, squeezed every last bit of love we can from our bodies in service to others, He will surely welcome us home.

May all Glory be given to Him alone. Amen

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Friend, if you are experiencing overwhelming despair and sadness first look upward to the Lord for help. Then seek assistance through the many resources available in your community — possibly through your church, a Christian counseling group or a hotline. If you have a friend or family member you can go to knowing you will be received well, call them today and tell them you need help. You are precious my friend. And you are needed here for a specific piece of God’s plan.

If someone you love or know has talked about suicide here’s some ways to respond (from the Mayo Clinic)

• Get help from a trained professional as quickly as possible. Your friend or loved one may need to stay in the hospital until the suicidal crisis passes.
• Urge the person to contact a suicide hotline.
  • In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat. Services are free and confidential.
  • U.S. veterans or service members who are in crisis can call 988 and then press “1” for the Veterans Crisis Line. Or text 838255. Or chat online.
  • The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S. has a Spanish language phone line at 1-888-628-9454 (toll-free).